The human spirit can withstand an unbelievable amount of punishment and survive. It might be scarred and will certainly be changed, but it will still somehow live through it all. I know because I have been in this place before.
It seems the sands of time have suddenly decided to reverse their course. I had been transported back in time…
I was just forced to relive that horrible waking nightmare of terror, from all those years ago. I had discovered Ember all alone, kneeling on the sidewalk. For the second time in my life, I looked into her vacant stare and she looked right through me – robbed of her soul.
Black shadows consumed my mind, as I believed that I was too late and Ember was gone forever. I thought she had been captured by some unseen force – held inside some dark netherworld, never to return. I felt everything inside me shatter in those horrific moments.
I had almost failed to rescue her once again…she was left unprotected.
Every ounce of basic instinct in my body screamed that I shouldn’t leave my sister alone to go inside that gymnasium. I would be outright lying if I said I wanted to comply with her demand. I wanted to refuse her request more than anything I have ever wanted to do, but I have never been able to deny her anything she has ever wanted. It was quite obvious by the time I walked into that gym that she would have me wrapped around her little finger for the rest of my life.
The price of my compliance would be a furious rage. The frustrated anger didn’t subside when I finally saw Krista and Greg, sitting together close to the top of the bleachers. Everyone else in the crowd was on their feet, cheering the garage band that was currently performing for the spirit week rally. They were engrossed in a conversation and were unharmed – wrapped up in their own little kiddie-romance world, in fact.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea what Ember had been doing outside…dressed in that ridiculously skimpy outfit…wearing makeup…looking like an adult. But, I knew it had something to do with the happy couple. It was irrational, but red-hot anger overwhelmed me as I watched them talking – engrossed in each other. They are oblivious to the world around them and to the fact that my sister is outside, all alone.
The rage threatened to overtake me. I bit down hard on my lower lip in a pathetic effort to stop my impending reaction. I felt this all-consuming dark need to rip them apart for their unknown offenses against Ember. My mouth filled with salty blood. I released my lip because it had no effect on the rage.
The senseless wrath continued to eat away at my vengeance-filled mental picture. I stood frozen like a statue. I was terrified of what I would do to my sister’s best friend and some guy I barely knew if I moved even slightly in their direction. I desperately needed an outlet – some way to dispel the insane fury that didn’t involve a bloodbath or homicide.
Only people who have been to the brink of total madness would be able to understand the flood of emotion that threatened to overwhelm me. I was teetering way too close to the edge…
My salvation would be provided in a very unlikely place. The solid metal railing was the only object close enough for me to grab without having to move my feet. I reached out and gripped the lower railing with my right hand. I felt the metal heating up quickly beneath my death grip. The anger flowed through my body, travelled down my arm and entered into the hand rail. The metal began to sag as it melted underneath my hand. I knew if I held the railing long enough the metal would start to boil from my fury.
I was still far from being calm, but I released the rail from my grasp out of necessity. The entire lower railing had started to drip onto the floor. It would have been nothing, but a puddle of metal if I had continued to hold on any longer. The anger responded by rebuilding into white-hot rage.
I looked around wildly as I fought the maniacal impulse to pick up the closest ‘someone’ and hurl them at the sappy couple. I urgently need to get myself back under control, but I have no idea how to do that. Every viable choice inside this gym involves bodily harm to another human being – not good. So I closed my eyes and ran blindly toward the boy’s locker room. I can’t risk looking at Krista or Greg. I will attack them if I saw them again while in this particular dark frame of mind.
Filled with a vengeful rage, I was over the edge of reason. I have never experienced a raw fury like this in my life. Fortunately, the locker room echoed – it’s empty.
The fury overwhelmed me. So, I ran to the back far left corner, balled up my right fist and slammed it into the cinderblocks with all my might. I continued slugging it, repeatedly.
I’m not sure what I expected to achieve from those stupid moves, other than to break all of my knuckles. Pounding that wall was the only thing I could think of to expend my rage.
I can’t let Ember see me lose control. She will be terrified of my wrath even though she knows that I will never hurt her.
The painted cinderblocks crumbled into powdery dust, as if they had been struck by a wrecking-ball. The wall was riddled with holes. It looked like a few, small sticks of dynamite had exploded.
Panting in relief, I suddenly remembered that I had left Ember sitting alone outside. I rushed toward the exit to go back to her. I realized something in amazement as I shoved the door open. My right hand is completely unharmed…