Chapter 18: Contracts
Jayde
Sleep eluded me. Why wouldn’t it? It’s not like I wanted to escape the harsh reality I was living in. I sat up knowing there was no way I was getting anything that resembled rest. I walked to the bathroom appreciating the unique details within the tiles again. I started the bath maybe I just needed to ease some of the tension I was feeling.
I slid into the massive tub and my thoughts went exactly where I didn’t want them to go. Kohl and that woman, Shawna. I felt my eyes well with tears in an instant of the thought. I really believed he’d be different, that he wouldn’t be hiding a mistress right under my nose. I really believed we had something special, but how could we? That woman was gorgeous she was tall, blonde, perfect complexion, legs longer than my entire body. I was confident and I thought I was pretty, but she was perfect. She had it all and apparently she had Kohl. Sy had been right all along he was just using me. At least Sy was up front with me he didn’t expect me to love him, but just rule beside him. I was completely blinded by the idea of Kohl. He wasn’t the knight in shining armor I had made him out to be when I first met him. He had lied getting me to trust him, getting me to fall in love with him all for a kingdom. It was making Sy more and more of a plausible option, but I’d said I wouldn’t let my feelings interfere with my choice. Damn it. I willed myself not to cry, but failed miserably as I started to feel the next episode of tears trickle down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes willing myself to think of anything but Kohl. Music? I grabbed my iPhone hoping I could get a short reprieve from my blurry vision and heartache. Yes, it was dramatic, but I had been wronged by someone I never have guessed would. I think I deserved a small pity party for the time being.
Three songs later I still hadn’t been able to draw my thoughts away from Kohl’s imploring gaze as he begged me to believe nothing happened. I just couldn’t do it. She had said something happened. She was hanging all over him. I heard them talking before he opened the door. It didn’t sound hostile, but he could have been trying to be quiet, after all, everyone was supposed to be asleep. Maybe he was telling the truth he had only been gone ten minutes tops. What could really happen in a few minutes? No, I wasn’t going to do this again. I had promised myself. Antonio for all his talk of loving me had used me multiple times and I always relented taking him back and believing he changed. I was not ready to do it again. I had grown past this I didn’t want to be that girl anymore.
My phone started ringing. I looked at the screen. Julio? Why was he calling now? I contemplated answering it and even though I knew it was stupid to answer I needed to hear a friendly voice. “Hello?”
“Jayde? Where the hell are you?” He shrieked his rage, worry, and exhaustion all coming through over the phone line. “Your parents are worried sick. I’m worried sick. Come home.” Julio pleaded.
“I can’t and I’m not.” I said knowing I was avoiding this conversation. I had been dodging their calls since I had left. Why did I pick up today? I had no clue. Maybe I just missed Julio. Maybe I hoped he’d reassure me that everything would be okay with or without Kohl.
“Where are you? Are you hurt?”
“No,” I said not trying to think about Kohl.
“You sound upset.” He said catching the slight note of distress in my voice that he always caught. That’s why he was my best friend.
“I’m fine, I’m happy, and don’t look for me. Okay?”
“Are you alone?” He said like my kidnappers were listening to every word we said.
I laughed at the thought. “Julio, really I’m okay. I haven’t been kidnapped. I just had to go away, to do some growing up if it helps it has to do with my bio parents.”
“I knew it bothered you that you were adopted, but the people that actually raised you care a million times more than whoever those people are.”
“I know they miss me, but they will be proud of me. I have to stay where I am but I am happy and I’m free to come and go as I please.”
“You are going to put me in an early grave, Jayde.”
“Then stop worrying and get on with your life.” I said laughing at the phrase he commonly said when I did something stupid. I missed him more than I could have imagined I realized when new tears started down my cheeks.
“But…”
“But nothing. You don’t have to worry about me. When I visit, I want you to have found a girlfriend that treats you a million times better than I ever did.”
“Jayde…”
“Just do it, you’ll thank me later. I love you, Julio. Bye.” I said choking on the fresh tears making it difficult to keep my voice steady. That was a horrible idea. I thought wallowing in the tub until Isadora came looking for me.
“What are you doing?” She asked, but as she came closer she noticed my obviously less than stellar appearance. “Are you okay, Lady Jayde?” She asked a hint of worry in her tone. I shook my head and grabbed the plush towel she handed me. “What happened?” She continued as she started to clear the tub once I had exited.
“I miss home.” Was all I could choke out before I started to cry again. I wish I could have talked to her about Kohl, but I thought better of it until… “and Kohl.” Her eyes widened with my response.
“Isa, I don’t think he likes me. How can I choose between someone in love with another or someone in love with themselves?” I said as she wrapped me in her arms in a hug that reminded me so much of my mother. I missed her.
“Let’s get you dressed and you can tell me everything that is making you so upset.” I nodded and followed her into my bedroom. A dark pair of slacks and an ocean blue button down sleeveless shirt sat on my already remade bed. “I’ll start tea and maybe we can have breakfast just the two of us today.” I nodded appreciative she didn’t want me to go to the formal breakfast.
I dressed and sat at my vanity pulling my hair into a ponytail. I was not in the mood for the extensive hair tweaking and make up Isadora typically did. I walked into the living room where Isadora already had breakfast and tea ready. I really needed to learn her secrets, she was amazing.
“Sit down, Lady Jayde.” She said handing me a cup of tea as I sat before the coffee table. She sat across from me grabbing her own cup. It was one of the first times Isadora had sat with me besides when planning the coronation. It made her seem more like a friend and less like my maid.
“I like this, Isa, we should do this more often.”
“Don’t divert my attention, Jayde why were you crying?” She shot back actually sounding worried about me. Her eyes were pinched in worry showing fine lines around her eyes. She was older than me, heck she could have been as old as my mother. “My best friend from home called and I answered. I miss him and my parents, my adoptive parents.” I said looking at her as she quickly listened without a judging frown or questioning look. “They are worried about me and I don’t know what to say to them. I can’t tell them where I am and I can’t tell them not to worry because they will worry more.” She nodded completely understanding my pain or at least making it seem that way.
“And what has made you worried about the treaty?” She asked once I had resolved all of my family pain.
“I met with Sy yesterday as you recall. The man is egotistical which is putting it lightly.” I noticed Isadora hide her smile behind her tea cup.
“Go on.”
“I thought choosing Kohl would be the most rational choice until I met…”
“Who?” she asked becoming noticeably more interested in this conversation than she had been in the last one about my family.
“I don’t know who she was, but she was beautiful. I think Kohl might be in love with her. I saw them together I just assumed they were an item.” I said trying to make my lie plausible.
“Kohl is not seeing anyone believe me I would know.” She replied reassuringly.
“Are you sure?” I asked again. Did Kohl actually tell me the truth? “She’s unmistakable. Tall, Blonde,
Gorgeous, Scantily Clad.”
Isadora laughed, “It sounds like Shawna.”
“Shawna?”
“I guess she would be considered Kohl’s ex girlfriend, but he kept it very hush hush. No one outside of the mansion knew about them. So don’t bring this up to just anyone.”
I nodded in understanding. “So they aren’t seeing each other anymore?”
She shook her head, “I don’t think so. Does that mean you may have feelings for Kohl?” I groaned, not wanting to have this conversation again. “We don’t have to talk about Kohl.” She said with a knowing smile.
I ate a bagel keeping quiet. “Do you know what meetings are prepared for today?”
“I’m not aware, but I can find out.”
“Thank you,” I said as Isadora stood up and went to get me the information I requested.
Isadora had actually made me feel better. Maybe I could believe Kohl, but what if they were just keeping their relationship a secret from everyone now and no one was supposed to find out? I heard my door open and expected to see Isadora, but much to my disappointment. I really wasn’t ready to see him yet. The sadness was still very real and every bit as painful as last night.
“Hi. How are you doing this morning, Lady Jayde.” He was nervous, it was apparent even from across the room. He also looked like he hadn’t slept well, dark circles had taken residence under his eyes. He didn’t look nearly as vibrant and happy as he normally was.
“I’ve been better.” I said dryly not even meeting his gaze.
“Is Isadora…”
“She stepped out to get the meeting schedule.” He looked relieved and took a seat across from me. “Kohl, I think it would be best if you did not enter my quarters without my permission.” I saw the chink in his armor, but he quickly cleared the emotion from his face.
“Jayde, I have never lied to you. Nothing happened why can’t you believe that?” He asked with as much conviction as he could muster. He looked so hurt and lost but I resisted the urge to let him come near me.
“I think I believe you, but…” I said knowing he was too happy for what I was actually going to say. “I’m not ready to start where we left off. My trust in you is still wavering and you were right we should be going at a much slower pace than we were. I need some breathing room.”
“Jayde.”
“I’m not finished. I think I am going to reschedule my weekend in Encante-South for this weekend.”
“You can’t just run away from me when you’re upset.” He snapped visibly upset.
“I’m not running away.” I said angry he thought that’s what I was doing. I just wanted to clear my head. I wanted to think through everything and really figure out if I trusted and believed Kohl. “I feel this would be a good chance for both of us to clear our heads, calm our hormones, and it should give me the space I desire at the moment.” I finally looked up at him, his expression was pained. I wanted to touch him, but I was supposed to be upset with him. I couldn’t let his being upset urge me to comfort him. I had learned better and I needed to comfort myself first.
“What is it that you don’t believe?” He asked softly. My heart clenched with the pain in his voice. “I will prove anything you want. Why would you want to give up this?” He said grabbing my hands. “You know this is right. You know there is no one else for me but you. How do you doubt me when a few minutes before I was lost in your beauty?” I looked away not wanting to have a repeat performance of last night.
“Please, Kohl, it is for the best.”
“No, it isn’t, us together is for the best. Encante needs us. I need us.”
I pulled my hands from him. “It’s only a weekend, please respect my wishes. I believe that nothing happened, Kohl, but I just want a chance to contemplate what someone like Shawna was doing in your private quarters.”
“She was there without my knowledge!”He retorted heatedly.
“How many other times had she been there? Does she visit you every night and I only saw her yesterday?” I said finally getting to what was really bothering me. “If you love this woman go be with her. Don’t pretend that you have feelings for me. I thought Sy was horrible yesterday, but at least he was honest about his misdeeds. You, Kohl, have deceived me. You made me think I could have it all. Love, a kingdom, and happiness but honestly I feel you have blinded me to your true nature this entire time.”
He looked at me utterly flabbergasted. “You can’t possibly think what you said is even remotely true?”
“Actually I don’t know what to think.” I said breathing deeply to regain some of my resolve.
“Jayde, Shawna and I have been over for months. Nothing has happened between us in months. Since I met you my every thought has involved you. No one else. I have never tried to deceive you. You can have everything you want. I do love you, I will make you happy, and I do want to rule with you as my queen.” I looked away from the sadness lining his face.
“I want to believe you, but I need time.” I persisted, but this time avoiding the dark depths of his eyes that saw right through me. Cheating was something that I never handled well. With Antonio, I took his word and believed when all the signs told me otherwise. I was more cautious with my trust after him.
He sighed. “Please don’t go to Sy’s this weekend. I want to make this up to you before then.”
“I need space.”
“Okay, any plans I have I will give you fair warning before.” I nodded accepting his proposal.
“Are we still on for a swim?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” I replied meekly.
“Very well, I will see you soon, Lady Jayde.” Kohl said on cue as Isadora came back into the room.
He walked out without another word. Isadora’s face told me she was full of questions. If I could answer them or not was the more important question.
“Lady Jayde, you are upset again.”
“Actually, I feel much better.” I said plastering a fake smile on to my face, hoping she didn’t see right through it. She looked at me pensively for a moment whether to push the issue or believe it at face value.
“Very well, would you like to attend the military meeting scheduled in an hour?”
“Oh no not that again, I guess coronation plans it is.” She smiled and grabbed the work we had been doing yesterday.