His touch.
His aura.
His love for me.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, than here wit’ you, Pippin.”
“There’s a warrant out for your arrest. If someone saw you—”
“Fuck ‘em.”
I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say or what to do. I should have left, but I couldn’t get my feet to move.
“You’re all that matters. Always have been and always will be.”
I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly becoming dry. My head spun in a whirlwind of feelings. Battling with my heart to move or to stay grounded. Wanting to turn and face the man who was still a mystery to me, but before I could, his actions made the decision for me. My eyes followed the movement of his strong arms as they came around my body. Skimming the sides of my ribs to place his hands on the railing out in front of me.
Caging me in against his body, his scent, his ink.
His truths...
Engulfing me in nothing but his warmth, his love, and devotion.
Comforting and tormenting me in ways I never thought possible.
It was loud.
It was maddening.
It was everything.
The closer he got to me, the more I wanted to feel him against my body. Yearning to be touched in a way that something told me only he could soothe me. I could sense he wanted to put his hands on me, needing to feel my silky skin under his calloused fingers, but he was taking it slow. Testing the fire, not wanting to get burned.
“I don’t even remember you,” I whispered, my chest firmly rising and falling with each word that escaped my lips.
“Yes, you do. My blood runs through your veins. I’ll always be inside of you. Be a part of you.”
I jerked back, confused. “What?”
“In here,” he emphasized, placing his hand on my overly active heart, causing me to jump from his sudden touch. I could feel him grinning, knowing he was the cause of the rapid rhythm beating against the palm of his hand. “My blood is runnin’ through your veins, Mia. Ya feel me?” he questioned, removing his hand and taking my heart with it. “Since I’m Type O, a universal donor, Doc took my blood weeks before the shootout. Knowin’ you were comin’ close to your due date, he wanted to be prepared just in case you went into labor and needed it. Left it in the fridge for you. It was my blood that saved your life.”
I had no words. He rendered me speechless. All I had were emotions threatening to spill out any second. The floodgates opened, letting out everything I held in so deeply. Tears began to stream down my face, falling to the ground with my heart. His hand started moving slowly up my arm, grazing my skin with only the tips of his fingers as if he was testing my boundaries. What he could and couldn’t get away with.
Holding me in his arms like I was his entire world.
I was feeling so much.
Yet not nearly enough.
He made his way toward my shoulder and then down my back. I didn’t say one word, terrified he would stop his descent. His control over me would fade.
I sucked in a breath when I felt him lower the halter on my back. His lips casually moved from my ear to where his fingers were placed. Softly, gently letting his lips linger on the scar from the bullet I took in my back.
Rasping, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” in a devastated tone I’d never forget.
He pulled away just enough to trail soft kisses up toward the side of my neck. It was then that I couldn’t take it any longer. It was then that it became too much. His words were killing me, but his touch was destroying me.
I abruptly turned around, slightly pushing him away. His eyes told me he wanted to say so much, though nothing came out.
So I simply stated, speaking with conviction, “I’m falling for Noah. It’s always been him, Creed.”
Breaking his heart into a million pieces. Possibly next to mine.
“You’re full of shit, and you know it.”
Her eyes widened not expecting my reply, giving her the courage to ask, “Why did you take me?”
“To protect you.”
“From what?”
“That’s what I’m tryin’ to figure out.”
“How did you know I was here?”
“I got my ways.”
“Aren’t you worried about ending up in prison? All I have to do is scream, and this terrace will be swarming with people who would stop at nothing to turn you in. My dad made sure of that with the reward money he has for your head.”
“I’d give ‘em my fuckin’ balls to spend just a few minutes with you. You’re worth it, Pippin,” I honestly spoke, caressing her cheek with the back of my fingers. Grinning, I challenged, “Besides you were never much of a screamer, why start now?”
I immediately saw it, her eyes glazed over and her pupils dilated. Stunned by my brazen response. It wasn’t quite the reaction I wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. I leaned over again, caging her in with my arms. Resting my forehead on hers.
“There’s my girl...” I pulled her hair away from her face to stare intently into her bright blue eyes.
That did it to me every time.
There was so much emotion behind her gaze. I knew they mirrored mine, there was no need for words. Our eyes spoke for themselves as I took her face between my hands and caressed the sides of her cheeks with my thumbs.
My thoughts.
My words.
They all seemed to be fucking intertwine with one another. Pushing and pulling like a game of tug of war.
The music changed over to the song she played for me on our first official date at the safe house. Bringing me back to a happier time, hearing her soulful voice belt out the words, pouring her heart out to me. The music wasn’t very loud out on the terrace, but it was enough to hear the melody.
Without thinking twice about it I smiled, gliding my hands to her neck, slowly descending down her body to grab hold of her hand. I stepped back, bringing her with me, instantly twirling her around in a circle like a ballerina. Looking at her in the way I always had. Forgetting for just one second that things weren’t normal and she wasn’t mine.
I pulled her close to my body, bringing her into my chest. Fitting her body perfectly into my hold, I started to slow dance for the very first time in my life.
“What do you want from me?” she whispered, peering into my chest. I lifted her chin so I could once again look into her beautiful eyes.
“Everythin’,” I simply stated, wiping away the tears from her cheeks.
“Noah is inside, Creed. Did you know that? Your brother’s right inside.”
“Don’t mean shit to me, Mia. I wouldn’t give a fuck if he was standin’ behind me with a fuckin’ gun to my back. I needed to see you. Hold you... fuckin’ feel you. And it’s takin’ everythin’ in me, not to fuckin’ kiss you right now and remind you who the fuck you belong to,” I declared.
“I can’t... I don’t even know what to say to you.”
“It don’t matter. I own you, Pippin. I claimed you. Even gave you my cut. Remember the patches? The property of Creed? Any of that a trigger to you? No one can come between our love, not even your fuckin’ mind. I’ll spend the rest of my life remindin’ you what you mean to me if I have to. Ain’t lettin’ you go. I will always, always fuckin’ love you. And no one can take that away from me. Not even you.”
Her lips started quivering, unable to form words. I kissed her forehead, resisting the urge to claim every last inch of skin. I knew I shouldn’t have been there, but I had to see her. It had been way too fucking long.
“Can’t you see, babe... my heart is fuckin’ bleedin’ out for you,” I repeated the same exact words she said to me on Giselle’s balcony all those years ago. When I tried to push her away.
One of my biggest regrets in my life. Everything could have been different if I had just let her in.
“I know you love me, but I don’t remember you, Creed. I know that hurts you, and even though I don’t know who you are... it kills m
e to be the cause of your pain. How does that make sense? It’s like my mind is playing with my heart and vice versa. There are times where I swear I miss you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know you. How can that be?”
“I’m your lobster.”
She smiled, knowing what I was talking about. At least she remembered that.
“I want to know what happened the night I was shot. Can you tell me? The night I lost my baby girl?”
“Mia... please... not now.”
“I don’t remember being pregnant, but I have this scar. This daily reminder of something I have no recollection of. I feel like I’m the worst human being on the planet. How can a mother forget her own baby?”
“I promise. I swear to ya, I’ll tell you everythin’ one day, but can’t do it right now.”
“Why?”
“Cuz I can’t lose you again.”
“You don’t have me now.”
“You’re in my arms, yeah? I’ll take you any way I fuckin’ can.”
Her face frowned as she pulled away from me. Breaking our connection. Shaking her head. “I wasn’t lying when I told you before. I am falling for Noah. He’s inside waiting for me. He’s the only one who has been there for me this entire time. I can’t do this to him. I won’t. I owe it to our daughter to see where our relationship goes. I’m sorry, Creed, but I’m not yours anymore. I’m his.”
Her words gutted me, leaving me there bleeding as she turned around and started to walk back toward the double doors.
“Pippin,” I called out, stopping her dead in her tracks. I was over to her in three strides, turning her to face me. “I know you’ll remember me, and when ya do, you’ll need this.” I handed her the key to our house, kissing her forehead one last time. Hating the fact that I didn’t know when I would see her again. “Come back to me. I’ll be there waitin’.”
I walked away from her that night, leaving her with my brother. Praying that it wouldn’t be...
Forever.
It was the annual Oak Island Fourth of July Fair weekend. Where anyone and everyone came to our small town from all over just to experience the biggest festival around. I remembered it was my favorite time of the year, having fond memories of being at the events with my family. Always kicking Uncle Jacob’s ass at all the carnival games. I was very competitive when it came to winning another huge stuffed animal I didn’t need.
“Jesus Christ, Mia! Can you let me win a game?” Noah chuckled, bringing my attention to him.
“Nope. It’s not in my nature,” I giggled as he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist to kiss the side of my neck.
“How am I supposed to impress you if you keep kickin’ my ass?”
I turned around to face him, draping my arms around his neck. “I can think of tons of ways.”
“Is that right?”
“Oh yes. I am almost positive there’s one way you can impress me, and it involves your lips.”
His eyes widened, smiling. “Why, Mia Ryder, are you gettin’ ballsy with me?”
“One of us has to.”
Two months had gone by since my prom. School had officially let out, and I was on summer vacation. Ready to let loose before my senior year started in August. Nothing had really changed as far as my memory was concerned, I still attended therapy twice a week like clockwork, no closer to the truth. Noah and mine’s relationship was growing with each passing day, but we had yet to do anything but flirt or cuddle, with some small kisses to the forehead and cheek. That was it. I made it my mission to stop thinking about Creed and focus on Noah. At least he was there, I hadn’t seen or heard from Creed since that night.
Which made it easier to give Noah my undivided attention.
For me at least.
“Pretty girl, I already told ya... ain’t kissin’ you, touchin’ you, doin’ anythin’ wit’ you until I know you’re only mine. But trust me, Mia... it don’t mean I don’t wanna feel you under me again more than anythin’.”
My lips parted. “Noah, I am—”
“You stupid motherfucker!” I heard someone roar from behind me, making me immediately turn around.
Noah instantly placed me behind him. Viciously peering at the man in front of us. I’d never seen that look on his face before, and it actually scared me a little.
“Don’t fuckin’ start, old man. Get on your bike and get the fuck out of our faces!”
The man took a huge gulp of the whiskey bottle firmly in his grasp, pointing it at Noah when he was done. “Come on, Rebel. I know it’s your favorite drink. Where’s my boy, huh? The man I fuckin’ raised. Not this pussy-whipped bitch standin’ in front of me,” he slurred, stumbling all around.
“Who is that?” I asked Noah, looking up at him. His menacing stare never left the man swaying in front of us.
“I’m his father! The man who gave him fuckin’ life. He don’t talk about me? That’s a shame. Spent all my life raisin’ my boys fuckin’ right. And look what happens... they both fall for a two-bit whore who’s spread her legs and has gotten on her fuckin’ knees for both of ‘em.”
I gasped when Noah abruptly pushed me back, getting right up in his father’s face. “You miserable fuck!” He punched him, knocking him sideways into the brick wall. “You don’t ever! EVER! Fuckin’ talk about her like that again! Or I swear I’ll fuckin’ put you to ground!”
“Who the fuck you think you are?!” He went at Noah, but a few other men wearing the same cuts he was sporting grabbed ahold of him, tugging him back as he went crazy in their grasps. “You’re nothin’ without me! Nothin’ without this club! I gave you everythin’! Fuckin’ everythin’, you piece of fuckin’ shit! You’ll be back! I’ll make you get on your knees like your fuckin’ bitch and beg me to let you in again! Do you understand me?!”
Noah shook his head, disgusted with the scene unfolding in front of us. He grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him.
“I ain’t your son. You ain’t my father. You never fuckin’ were! Go drink somewhere and crash your fuckin’ bike. Do everyone some good if you just fuckin’ died.”
“Noah,” I breathed out, glaring at him.
We locked eyes.
“Come on.” He tugged me toward him, and we left.
Neither one of us said a word as we made our way down to the beach. I could tell he was lost in his own thoughts, trying to calm himself from the altercation. I never wanted to know what he was thinking more than I did at that moment. Wanting him to confide in me, open up, and let out all the pent-up anger I knew he was holding in. Though I didn’t want to pry, it was obvious he was upset and hurting.
He sat down in the sand, pulling me beside him. Sitting with his knees up and his arms placed over them, looking out at the ocean. Reluctant to look at me.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I didn’t have to wait long until he was the one to break the silence between us.
“Never wanted you to see me like that again,” he said out of nowhere. “Promised myself I’d never let you witness what you saw the day of our baby girl’s funeral. I was fuckin’ ashamed of what I did. Not about fighin’ with Creed, about doin’ it near her gravesite. I was no better than my father, and I fuckin’ hated myself for that.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. “It’s alright.”
“No it ain’t, Mia. I keep fuckin’ up with you. And it’s the last thing I wanna do. I want you to like me. Fuck...” He bowed his head. “I want you to love me,” he murmured, looking over in my direction with his head still bowed. “Cuz, I do. I love you, Mia. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I may not have known it then, but I know it now. I know you don’t remember me or us, but I think you feel it. In here.” He placed his hand over my heart, and just like that it brought back memories of Creed when he did and said the same thing to me at prom. Erupting a flood of emotions back. Each brothers feelings intertwining, intermixing with each other, causing a whole new level of conf
usion to wash over me, but I quickly pushed it away.
Wanting to stay in the here and now with Noah.
“I’m sorry if this scares you, but I can’t hold it in any longer. I wanted you to be the mother of my kid. Jesus...I still fuckin’ do.”
My eyes watered with tears as I took in all the words he was professing to me, all the emotions pouring out of his heart and soul and into mine.
“I’m so fuckin’ in love with you...” he added in a soft, gentle, almost painful tone.
Which nearly broke my heart to hear. Tears started to fall down the sides of my face, unable to hold them back any longer. He didn’t think twice about it, he grabbed under my arms and carried me over to him, making me straddle his thighs. Caging me in, holding my cheeks between his hands. Kissing all over my face to wipe my tears away with his lips.
“Please, baby... say somethin’...”
I peered deep into his eyes, resting my forehead on his and spoke with conviction, “I’m yours, Noah. It’s only you.”
He didn’t falter, gripping onto the back of my neck, kissing me.
Devouring me.
Taking his time, savoring my taste as if he never wanted to stop. His lips parted, beckoning mine to follow, and they did. We kissed for what felt like hours, but I knew it was only minutes. He wrapped his arms around my torso, lowering me back until I felt the sand beneath me. Laying his body on top of mine.
He wanted me.
He needed me.
My mind was scrambled with thoughts and emotions I couldn’t control, label, or even begin to understand. It was one giant cluster-fuck of feelings. I tried to ignore them all, but they were as consuming as the feeling of his body on top of mine.
I put my arms around his neck as he pushed me further into the sand, kissing me deeper, harder, and with more determination. Something told me this wasn’t the first time he had kissed me like this. My chest rose and fell faster and faster with every slip of his tongue. With every deep breath I took, with each caress of his fingers along my face, with each groan that escaped his mouth and with each moan that left mine.
I felt his heartbeat pounding against my chest. Mimicking my own. They were beating together in a rapid rhythm, dancing with pleasure, mixed with a little bit of pain.