He closed his eyes and told her.
“Mum!” he yelled loudly, grabbing the football as he flew out the front door. “Going outside to kick the footy around.”
“Don’t go far,” she called out from the kitchen. “Dinner won’t be long!”
“Can I come too, Ryan?” Kassidy hollered.
“No, Kass. You can’t catch properly. You’re all thumbs.”
“Mum!” Kassidy wailed. “Ryan won’t let me play.”
“Ryan,” she replied, the warning evident in her tone. “Let your sister join in or you can go straight to your room.”
“Fine!” he shouted angrily.
Seconds later Kassidy came flying out the front door with a big grin on her face.
“Keep an eye on her, Ryan,” his mum yelled.
Ryan kicked the ball hard and laughed when she fumbled and it dropped to the ground. “Good catch.”
Kassidy pursed her lips and grabbing the ball, she kicked it back hard and Ryan’s mouth fell open. “Hey, that wasn’t a bad kick.” Instead of ditching her like he planned, Ryan returned the ball back to her, more gently this time. “Let’s see you do that again.”
Kassidy did it again, and again.
“Wait!” Ryan told her when she went to kick it back. “Let’s see who can kick it the farthest.”
“Okay.” Kassidy grinned, glowing under the attention. “Watch this, Ryan!”
She lined up the ball and stepped back a few paces. She looked at Ryan and smiled happily before running at the ball, putting her boot hard into the underside. It flew wide, out over the lawn. Ryan’s eyes watched as it curved and fell down with a loud thwack onto the street.
He turned to Kassidy. “Wait here, I’ll go get it.” But he was talking to air. “Kass! No!” he called out when he saw her little legs pumping hard towards the street to retrieve the ball. “Kassidy!” he screamed.
His pulse racing, he took off after his sister, hearing the squeal of tyres and the sickening thud of her body slamming hard into the ground before he saw it.
Ryan’s legs flew across the thick grass, barely noticing the stones cutting into his feet. His heart lodged in his throat when he knelt by her twisted body. She was covered with so much blood it hurt just to look at her.
She blinked her eyes open. “Ryan? I don’t feel so good.”
Someone was shouting behind him, but the loud roar in his ears blocked it all out. He looked into her big brown eyes. “You’re gonna be okay, Kass.”
She tried nodding and winced. “Did you see my kick?” she whispered.
“I did,” he replied, tears falling thick and fast down his face. “You kick a ball better than I do.”
She coughed and flecks of blood spattered his shirt.
“Oh God,” he moaned as he heard the wail of sirens in the distance.
Kassidy swallowed. “Ryan? Are there kittens in Heaven? Daddy never let me have one and it’s the only thing I ever wanted.”
He sniffed messily and wiped his face with his sleeve. “There are kittens in Heaven, but you’re not going there, you’re staying here. Stay here with me, Kass. I’ll get you a kitten, I promise.”
Fin’s chest heaved with sobs as she turned and grabbed him in her arms.
“She died before the ambulance arrived. That was the day I lost my entire family. My mother didn’t come out of her room for weeks and Dad blamed me for all of it. I let him. I wanted to take her place, just like I did with Jake.” He wrapped his arms around Fin and buried his face in her neck as the guilt flooded to the surface. “If I could take his place, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I would, Fin. Jake wasn’t meant to die. It should have been me.” His voice broke and he let the tears fall down his face and drip into her soft hair as he held her tightly. “It should have been me,” he whispered hoarsely.
Fin pushed him away and he forced himself to meet her eyes. They flashed with anger. “Don’t say that,” she ordered, her voice fierce. “Don’t you say that. It shouldn’t have been either of you ... but you came home, Ryan,” she choked out. “You came home and God help me, I’m so relieved you’re here that it burns me from the inside out.”
His heart beat wildly at her words and grabbing her face in both hands, he crushed his lips against hers. She responded frantically, clutching at his shoulders as he pulled her against him. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut at the sweet agony of holding her in his arms. He kept kissing her until he thought he’d pass out, knowing even then it would never be enough.
She broke away, breathless, and rested her forehead against his. “I love you so much, Ryan.”
“I love you too.”
“Will you come home now?”
Ryan wiped her tears away with his thumbs and nodded. “Of course.”
He held Fin’s hand in his as they walked towards the car park, and as he opened his car door, he paused to watch her.
She opened her own car door and turned. “Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have any photos of Kassidy?”
He nodded. “I have one I carry with me, but Mum gave me some today.”
“Maybe we could put them up on the living room wall next to Jake?”
Warmth flooded his body. “That would be nice.”
Fin gave him a brief wave and slid into her car, and as he pulled out of the car park behind her and onto the main road, a soft deep sigh breathed cool air through his body. He shivered because it almost felt like Jake was sitting right there in the passenger seat.
“Brothers forever, right, Kendall?”
Ryan grinned. “Brothers forever, Tanner.”
“Baby, I’m home.”
Despite sounding tired and gruff, a thrill of excitement at his words gave Fin goose bumps. Four weeks of having Ryan in her house and it still felt shiny and new. How easy it was to see now that her reason for pushing Ian away was because this was the dream she had buried deep inside her heart.
Hearing Crookshanks greet him in the hallway, Fin scrambled madly through the mess on the kitchen bench. Grabbing the tin she’d just filled, she flung open the oven door and tossed it recklessly in the direction of the wire rack.
“What are you doing?”
The words came from so close behind her she shrieked and jumped. Her pulse racing, she slammed the oven door shut and spun around to stand in front of it. Ryan was leaning casually against the entrance to the kitchen in his army fatigues, his arms folded and brow arched as he watched her.
“Nothing,” she lied, blinking her eyes wide in an attempt to salvage the surprise.
Fin meant to have all this done before Ryan got home, but she got held up at work. That’s what happens when you tell people you’re leaving work early, she thought crabbily. Suddenly everything becomes urgent.
Ryan looked over her shoulder at the disaster zone, and she shifted a little to the left. Her movement exposed the oven door, and he immediately turned and pointed at it, accusation making his eyes sharp. “You’re baking a cake.”
Fin tilted her head and shrugged. “Well, you know, it’s for Crookshanks.”
Her breath caught when a grin spread slowly across Ryan’s face and lit up his dark eyes. He lifted his chin at her. “Come here.”
Needing no further invitation, Fin launched herself at him. She twined her arms around his neck, and when he picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his hips and kissed him.
His fingers dug into her legs, a deep groan rising from his chest when she stroked her tongue against his. She broke the kiss when she couldn’t breathe. As her head fell back, he licked a pathway down her exposed throat and bit down on the tender skin of her neck where it met her shoulder.
“Oh,” she moaned, rubbing her hips against him.
“God I needed that,” he muttered, his voice muffled as he nibbled and licked his way back up. “Needed you. Been thinking about fucking you all day.”
Ryan’s eyes were heavy-lidded and hot when she looked into them and smiled. “Happy birthday, Ryan.”
“
You remembered,” he murmured.
“I’ve never forgotten. I baked a cake for your birthday every year you were gone.”
He rested his forehead against hers and whispered softly, “Baby.”
Fin closed her eyes. “I didn’t know where you were, or what you were doing, but even if you weren’t here, I wanted to make sure you had a cake.”
She opened her eyes, seeing him arch a brow.
“And who got to eat my cake?”
“I did.” She grinned. “And Crookshanks. And if there was any left, I’d take it into work.”
Ryan ran his eyes along the length of the kitchen bench until they fell on the bowl she had tucked in the corner. He strode towards it and sat her down on the bench. Standing between her thighs, he dipped his finger in the thick, cream cheese frosting. A shudder of heat flooded her body as she watched him lick it slowly from his finger.
“Mmm, baby. This is good.”
His hand reached for the bowl again, and she smacked it. “Leave some for the cake.”
Ryan smirked as he scooped up some more. “It’s my cake.”
He smeared the frosting over the swell of her breasts, and she gasped. “What are you doing?”
Leaning down, he began licking it off her skin.
“Oh God,” she breathed, fisting his hair in her hands and shivering at the wet heat of his tongue stroking her skin.
“I’m making up for all those years of missed cake.”
The idea of baking Ryan a cake every day for the rest of her life suddenly held enormous appeal.
He slipped his hands underneath the hem of her pretty pink dress and spreading his fingers wide, ran them up her bare thighs. “You taste so good,” he moaned.
Loud thumping came from the front door and he froze, his muscles tensing as his grip on her tightened. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“Open the door before we bust it down,” Kyle yelled.
Ryan groaned, his head falling onto her shoulder.
“I did.” Fin sighed and he took a step back, letting her slide off the bench. “I’ll get it.”
“Hey,” he said, and she looked up at him. “Thank you. For doing this.”
“I’m just glad you’re here so I can.”
“Me too,” Ryan agreed, his lips curving softly. He wiped at a smear of frosting on her cheek. “I’ll get the door,” he told her and disappeared up the hallway.
Moments later, Kyle filled the little kitchen followed by Tex, Monty, and Galloway. She was greeted with kisses on the cheek and moved to the side as they filled the fridge with beer and rummaged through her cupboards, grabbing bowls and filling them with chips.
The television was flicked on and the sound of football flooded the living room as Kyle shoved the second beer in his hand at Ryan.
Ryan took it as Kyle slung his arm around Fin’s shoulders and grinned down at her. “How’s my girl?”
Ryan cleared his throat pointedly.
“Hey, I got a penguin from Antarctica.” Kyle smirked. “What did you get?”
“I got Fin,” Ryan replied smugly as he folded his arms.
“You win,” Kyle muttered. His eyes dropped to her chest and amusement flashed in his hazel eyes. “Fin? You’ve got a bit of something on your boob.”
Fin flushed wildly when she looked down at her cleavage and saw the blob of frosting.
“What is that anyway?” Kyle asked. His arm fell away from her shoulders as she spun around and grabbed for the cloth from the sink.
“That’s my birthday cake,” Ryan retorted, “which I was enjoying until you all so rudely barged your way into our house.”
“Ryan!” she wailed through the laughter and catcalls. He joined in the laughter and she glared. “You won’t get your present later.”
He sobered. “Later? Why can’t I have it now?”
Fin flushed all over again. “Because.”
“That’s gotta be something good,” Tex said around a mouthful of chips as he launched himself into the armchair, his eyes glued to the television.
“Christ, Ryan.” Kyle slapped him on the back as he passed by into the living room. “You lucky bastard.”
“Excuse us,” Ryan said to the room. He grabbed her hand and despite her resistance, dragged her effortlessly up the hallway.
“Ryan. What are you doing?”
“I want my present.”
Another loud thump came from the front door, but it flew open before they could do anything. Rachael came through, followed by Fin’s cousin Laura and Jess, another friend from Fin’s years at university.
Without pausing, Ryan nodded towards the living room. “They’re all in there.”
Fin shrugged helplessly at the wide eyes and raised brows before she was shoved inside the bedroom and the door slammed shut behind her.
She spun around and folded her arms. “Well, that was rude.”
“I don’t care. I’m the birthday boy. I can do what I want.”
She shivered and he grinned, knowing full well how much she loved his controlling behaviour in the bedroom.
“I’ll remember this when it’s my birthday.”
“Good. I’ll look forward to it. Now take off your dress.”
“Ryan! No. We have guests, and I have a cake in the oven.”
“So we’ll be quick.” He folded his arms and leaned back against the closed door as the muffled sound of loud talking interspersed with laughter filtered through. “Take it off or I’ll rip it off.”
Fin closed her eyes, throbbing at the heat in his words.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Me ripping off your dress.”
Determination darkening his eyes, he strode towards her and her breath caught in her throat. Grasping the hem of her dress in her fingers, she pulled it off with hurried, jerky movements.
Ryan’s eyes roamed over the tiny pink creation of lace that barely held her breasts together. “You know pink is my favourite colour on you,” he muttered hoarsely. His eyes lowered further and he froze. “What the fuck is that?”
“That’s your present,” she whispered.
“Get on the bed, baby, and lie down,” he ordered.
Fin felt his eyes on her as he stepped towards the bed. Climbing over the soft, cool sheets, she lay down and rolled onto her back. Ryan was right behind her. Leaning over her body, she watched as he hooked his thumbs in her pink lace panties and peeled them down a fraction. With hands that shook slightly, Ryan reached for the rectangular bandage that covered the hollow below her right hipbone. With gentle fingers, he peeled the tape from her skin and folded the bandage over.
“Fin,” he breathed. “I …” He swallowed as he stared at the tattoo of his name in swirling black script. The initial was an oversized flourish and at the end sat a tiny little pink heart. His eyes flew to hers. “It’s beautiful.”
Her eyes swam at the love so bright in his eyes. “Someone once said to me that I’ve always been his, and that even if he never got to keep me, I’d still be his. Well I’m yours, Ryan, and even if you have to leave me, I’ll always be yours.”
Ryan crawled up over her and ducked his head, his lips hovering close to hers. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
“Fin!” Rachael shouted from somewhere down the hall. “The oven is screaming. Make it stop!”
“Dammit,” Fin mumbled.
Chuckling, Ryan stood and taking her hands in his, helped her off the bed. He reached for her dress and it held it out to her. “We better get out there and rescue my cake.”
Fin took the dress from his hands and slipped it over her head. “I thought we were going to be quick?”
Ryan shook his head as he stepped towards her. His hand slid around her neck, untucking her hair from the dress until it tumbled down her back. “I can’t be quick after seeing that. I need slow. I need to fall asleep with your thighs wrapped around me and the taste of you on my lips. That’s worth waiting a little longer for.”
Ryan returned to the living room as Fin r
aced in the other direction, heading for the kitchen to switch off the timer and rescue the cake. Tex handed him another beer after he kissed Rachael and Laura on the cheek in greeting.
“You remember Jess from Fin’s farewell party, don’t you?”
He nodded at her with a polite smile. He never forgot a face. “I do. It’s nice to see you again.”
Tex and Monty roared at the television as someone took a dive over the line with the football. Kyle peeled his eyes away and looked at him. “So don’t leave us hanging, asshole. What was the present?”
Ryan grabbed a handful of chips from the bowl on the coffee table and grinned. “None of your business.”
The tattoo was completely unexpected and utterly beautiful. Her creamy, flawless skin was now marked with his name. A possessive wave of heat rolled through him just picturing it in his mind.
“Were you showing Ryan your present?” Rachael called out to Fin while she took the cake out of the tin to cool on a wire rack.
“Did she get it done?” Laura said to Rachael as Ryan took a deep pull of his beer.
“Yes I did,” Fin called back.
Rachael winked at Ryan. “Did you like it?”
He raised a brow. “You’ve seen it?”
“Seen what, dammit?” Kyle interrupted.
Everyone paused their chatter and looked at Fin. Wiping her hands on a tea towel, she shrugged as she walked into the living room. “It’s just a tattoo.”
Ryan frowned at Fin as she perched herself on his knee. “It’s not just a tattoo.”
“It’s Ryan’s name,” Rachael announced to the room. “In a private spot,” she added. “I took her to get it done today on her lunch hour.”
Ryan’s mouth fell open. “You just went on out and got a tattoo during the middle of work?” He felt a sudden urge to thank the guy who did it and punch him at the same time for having his hands where they didn’t belong.
Fin twisted and looked down at him. “Well … yeah. When else was I supposed to get it done? Is there some special decree that says you can only get a tattoo on a weekend or something?”
“Smartass.”
She winked at him and his heart tripped over. “Nerds are cool.”