“Forgive me,” said Luke. “I have neglected your needs. Let us break for sustenance.”
The carriage slowed then rocked to a stop. The thought of fresh air brightened my mood. I took Luke’s hand and ducked to get out. Scents flooded into me. Flowers, trees, dirt, animals. It was too much. The beauty in a spring breeze was the crisp plainness, everything blended together.
I covered my nose. It wasn’t that the smell was unpleasant; it was just overwhelming.
“Are you okay?” Luke asked. “We could go back inside to eat.”
I shook my head, but kept my hand where it was. I had to get used to this place eventually. Hiding from it wasn’t going to help me. I lowered my hand and smiled.
He led me to a grassy knoll. An absolute feast lay before us. Luke sat down next to me. I didn’t mind so much, and I should have.
He gathered a few delightful looking pastries and fruit onto a plate and handed it to me. I nibbled on what looked like a grape, unsure what to expect. The fruit burst in my mouth. It was heavenly sweet, sort of like a grape but richer. The flavor lingered on my tongue. I grabbed a few more. The juice danced on my taste buds, revealing hidden subtleties. All the food was divine. I couldn’t decide what my favorite was, but I was leaning toward the fluffy tarts. I finished everything he had given me. I was sated. It felt good for a change.
Why wasn’t he eating? “Aren’t you hungry?”
He nodded, plopping an entire pastry into his mouth. “I didn’t want to miss seeing that.”
Heat flooded up my neck. I had to be crimson. I hoped he couldn’t see my embarrassment. I had probably made a fool out of myself, but I had been caught up in the newness of textures and tastes I could have only previously imagined.
Luke lay down, placing his hands under his head. I stretched out beside him. This was eerily similar to my first date with Zach. I felt as though I could reach out and shake Orion’s hand.
Luke spoke softly. “From here, it looks amazing.” His tone hardened with every word. “The cold expanse of space is much different when it is all you have around you.”
I looked over at him, tempted to touch him, to comfort him. “How long have you lived here?”
His gaze locked onto the stars. “We were the fourth wave. Have you ever heard of the Tuatha de Dannan?”
“I remember reading something about them. Didn’t they overthrow the Formorians?”
He chuckled, but it sounded false. “Close. The Fir Bolg. The Fomorians defeated the first fae on your planet. The Milesians defeated us. They won the land in our final battle. We were warned to stop the fighting or face eviction. None of us wanted a life with no home, so we divided the land and the power. Not long after that was when the lovely Faine flittered into and out of my life.” He laughed ironically as though trying to hide the open wound in his heart. He picked at a long blade of grass. It jumped onto his palm. As though it were a cat, he stroked it gently. Try as I might, I couldn’t find his kindness odd. “This is the most beautiful land in all of Faeresia.” His teeth gleamed in the dim light. “But don’t let any of my people know I said that.”
I looked around wishing I could really see the magnificence of the place. A fence-line glowed in the distance. Trees swayed. Florescent veins webbed under softly illuminated bark. The leaves shimmered. I didn’t know how it was possible, but the soft glow emanating from everything concealed more than it revealed.
Aside from a few oddities, it could have been any moonlit pasture. I had seen plenty of those before my twelfth birthday. After that, I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house if it was dark. I had felt vulnerable for some reason.
“Did you love her?” I asked softly.
“Hmm?” he said.
I looked over at him. He seemed more than distracted. I didn’t like the longing way he was looking at me. “Faine. Did you love her?”
The blade of grass skittered away, finding its place amongst the others, settling in. Luke seemed lost without it. “I was infatuated. I wasn’t with her long enough to develop true love.”
“Exactly how long was that?”
“Five hours.”
Great. We’d already spent more time than that together. Did he imagine himself in love with me?
He scooted up next to me, hesitantly reaching out a hand. I lifted mine to his. His emotions flooded into me. The fear had been replaced by a shining hope.
What was that other thing? The feeling was as intense, but he was suppressing it. I could tell it was costing him.
His expression turned serious. “I think I’ll take that promise now.”
“What?” I asked, feigning confusion.
“Remember. You promised to do something for me.”
Uh-oh. “What do you want?”
He caressed my cheek. Heat flooded up my face. I closed my eyes.
Luke moved closer. I could feel his breath on my skin. I knew it wasn’t possible, but I felt as though I could hear his heart beating.
He whispered, “Let me have one unguarded moment with you. Let me see you.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” I said softly.
I felt him probing the recesses of my mind and heart. I didn’t resist even though it was hard. He explored areas I hadn’t allowed myself into in a long time. How had he bypassed my walls? Were they that flimsy?
I relived the day Aunt Grace finally admitted my mom was not coming back. The first day I drove my car. My first kiss. The day I broke up with Brody.
The familiar pain slammed into me. Tears streamed down my face. I had trusted him; he hadn’t deserved it.
“Not all men are like him, Rayla.” Luke held me to him. “You have to know that.”
That was the problem. I didn’t. I couldn’t. Even though it had been three years since Brody, I still didn’t know how to trust. Yet in the last few weeks I had trusted nearly completely without reason.
Luke withdrew. He hadn’t pushed as far as he could have. He hadn’t taken advantage. I was in trouble.
He brushed my hair from my forehead. His fingers blazed a trail across my throat.
I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel more of him. I wanted to know him.
“We should get going,” he said, lifting me as he stood.
Disappointment flooded through me. With a flick of his wrist, our picnic disappeared.
I followed him to the carriage, plain worn out from whatever had just happened, so I asked him for the bed. I needed a break from my feelings. Why wasn’t I stronger than this?