With another sigh, he looked at his watch and then sat up straight. Eighty-thirty. His heart plummeted. He'd promised to pick up Betty Ann at seven-thirty. Time had gotten away from him at the little mission house. He'd forgotten all about his date with her.
In his mind's eye, he saw Betty Ann, her hands on her waist, glaring at him. Then he gulped. His wedding to an Exalted Brethren member—would his decision tonight change all that?
Though JD had walked away from the Seventh Street Mission with joy, his world fell apart under the weight of reality. What would be his next step?
He fingered the cell lying on the passenger seat and turned it on. He had two phone calls to make—the first to Betty Ann with an apology and the second to Dave Reyes.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
JD gazed at the skyline of El Camino. Little twinkling lights popped up everywhere on the horizon and in the valley. He punched Betty Ann's speed dial and lifted the cell to his ear.
"Hello." She huffed out the word.
JD grimaced. "I'm sorry, Betty Ann. Can you forgive me?"
She clicked her tongue, intensifying the nervous pangs in his stomach. "I don't know when I've been angrier. I put on a new dress and spent thirty minutes on my makeup, just for you. I waited forever and you didn't show up or even call. Is that any way to treat your future wife?"
His heart sank. This had been the most life-changing night of his life. He had a good excuse for forgetting, but no way would he tell her. For one thing, she'd never understand his encounter with the Jesus of the Bible. "No, it's not. I kind of forgot."
He sat up straighter in the driver's seat and held his forehead. How could he marry her? He didn't hold to the faith any longer. His face burned. The whole purpose of the marriage was to better his status on the Scale of Balance.
JD's pulse throbbed. Should he still go through with the wedding? He couldn't abandon Betty Ann after bringing her into his life, proposing, and planning a wedding. Could he? Call it off now, and he'd be responsible for a mark on her life she'd never forget—a fiancé who backed out at the last minute.
All her plans—the wedding gifts pouring in, Betty Ann's dress, the cake, the flowers … everything would be for nothing. It wasn't fair to her or her family. And his parents … what would they say? All his life, his parents and the temple had taught him responsibility. JD mopped the cold sweat off his brow.
In time, he'd share the gospel with her. She'd be eager to receive the free gift of salvation once she heard. Wouldn't she?
"You know. I'm really worried about you. You've been so worn out lately. Almost like you've lost your zest and enthusiasm. Are you sick?"
"No. I'm fine." His feelings had shown through. But tonight he'd found a real purpose for living.
"If you'll forgive me, I'll take you to a great new buffet tomorrow after church. Then we can continue to look for an apartment. It'll only be a couple of years before you have a house of your own."
JD's heart pounded in his throat. The temple. Tomorrow he'd attend a church where they didn't teach the truth. He took a cleansing breath. Later, after the wedding, he'd ease away from EB.
"Well, okay. We do need to finalize our honeymoon plans."
"Thank you for understanding. See you tomorrow." In reality, she probably wouldn't go along with his new faith. But surely she'd change after they were married. He gripped his cell.
Joella. She danced across his mind. Now, they shared the same belief. Though his wedding was twenty-two days away, he still loved her. He covered his face with both hands and slumped down farther in the seat. Now the same God she'd always spoken of had come into his life, but he had no other choice than to marry Betty Ann.
He couldn't bear this alone. Tension in his shoulders tightened as he picked up his cell phone again. Time to make the second call.
*****
JD paced his small living room, grateful Dave had agreed to meet him at his condo. What was keeping him?
Finally, the bell dinged. JD rushed to the door and threw it wide open. "Come in. Come in, Dave."
"Hey, JD. How ya doing?" Dave's dark eyes twinkled, and a half smile sat on his lips as he walked over the threshold.
"Okay." JD mopped perspiration from his brow.
"I just got back yesterday from the youth rally in Sacramento. Your friend Henry said to tell you hello." He glanced around the room. "What's going on? You sounded as if it was urgent."
"I promise there will be no attempts of bodily harm this time." JD pointed to his couch. "Please sit down."
Dave grinned. "Okay, I'm taking you at your word." He settled down on one end of the sofa.
JD dropped to the other side. Dave's presence calmed JD's churning stomach, but still his hands were ice-cold. "Thanks for coming over. I had to talk to somebody. I figured you of all people would get it. I mean … being a pastor and all." He shifted on the couch and took a breath. "It's about … Do you remember when you told me about God? You said humans didn't have to work to be good enough for Him."
A slow smile spread on Dave's face. "Yeah, I haven't forgotten."
JD couldn't sit any longer. He bolted up, paced the room, and rubbed his forehead. "There's so much to tell. I don't know where to start."
"Look, dude. I've got all night. I'm here for you." Dave leaned back into the couch and propped an ankle on his knee.
JD's heart warmed at Dave's declaration. "Thanks, man." Dave's gaze followed him as he began to wear out the carpet again, traipsing back and forth. "Maybe at the first … that's where I'll begin." JD sank to the couch and squared his jaw. "I grew up in a church much different from yours. Joella probably told you."
Dave nodded.
"The requirements almost broke my back, and because of those regulations, I'm engaged to a woman in that faith."
Dave's eyes grew large as JD described the tenets of the Exalted Brethren religion.
Reliving the dream, the encounter with the street preacher, and the downtown mission thrilled him all over again as he described what happened. "For the first time in my life, I'm a free man."
"I'm honored you shared this with me. And I want to tell you, I'm praising the Lord for your new faith. You've encouraged me, knowing that something I said about the gospel caught your attention."
JD folded his hands over his chest. "I have so many questions."
Dave reached in his shirt pocket. "Let me give you this copy of the Bible. The last section contains the story of the historical Jesus. I suggest you read the book of John first. It covers a lot of the spiritual ground about our Savior." Dave chuckled. "Hey, I've been a Christian for over ten years, and I learn new things every day. But you've made the most important decision … to trust in Jesus, God's Son, to bring you eternal life."
JD bounded off the couch again and stared out the window at the dark night. Down below, the headlights of a passing car illuminated the road then the street went black. "Before, it was like I saw a ladder reaching all the way to heaven. I had to climb to the top to get to God. A lot of times, I made it up a few rungs then fell off. Sometimes the mere height was staggering." JD turned to Dave with extended palms. "Then one day I realized I could never ascend that high. I was crushed."
JD took a long, cleansing breath. "Now it's freeing to think I don't have to. I don't have to work my way to heaven. I'll tell you the truth. In my heart, I knew all along I couldn't do it." JD's shoulders never felt so light. As if a weighty load disappeared through no effort of his own. A pesky tear rolled down his cheek. It was a tear of relief and joy. JD knuckled his eyes, mopping the moisture away. "Sorry."
Dave shook his head. "Don't worry, friend." He patted the couch. "Come back and sit down. I need to talk to you about something else."
JD edged down. "What is it?"
Dave rested both hands on his knees. "I saw the article in the paper about your wedding at the EB church."
JD struggled for breath and nodded.
Dave studied his fingers. "Do you love her?"
"No. I still love Jo
ella." His voice was a little louder than a croak.
Dave raised his open palm. "Look at me, man."
JD lifted his painful gaze.
Dave shook his head, a grave expression on his face. "If you marry Betty Ann, it will be a mistake you'll always regret." He emphasized each word. "It's not fair to her or yourself."
"But I can't just abandon her. I used her to gain a better standing in the next life. Betty Ann never asked for my attention. I ambushed her."
JD stood again and strolled to the window. The room shrank, enclosing him in a tight space. "I feel so guilty now." He blew out a breath. "I'm not sure I could live with myself if I called off the wedding. Look, if God could reach me, he could reach her, too. Surely our God of love wouldn't want me to ruin her life." What a complicated existence.
"I'm telling you, man, don't do it. Yours and Betty Ann's beliefs are no longer the same. You'd be living a lie."
Surely the pastor didn't know what he was talking about. JD had destroyed any chance of ever being with the woman he loved? He'd crossed the line of no return when he proposed to Betty Ann. He hadn't taken lightly the decision to ask for her hand. "I've made up my mind. It's something I have to do."
Dave put both hands over his face, shook his head, and moaned.
*****
"Now gentlemen, line up here." Overseer Carson pointed to the left of his podium. "The bridesmaids will walk in and stand to my right. JD, Mr. Roberts will escort Betty Ann down the aisle. After he sits in the third pew, you may join her and both of you will face me."
JD stood at the front of the church next to the EB leader. Tannon, his best man, waited to his left on the platform, followed by Arvin and Jarred.
JD nudged his brother and whispered. "Tomorrow, Betty Ann's four-year old cousin David will be the ring bearer. Instead of the actual rings, he'll carry imitations. You're going to hold the real ones, the ones you have now. When it's time, you'll give them to me."
Tannon nodded his head, a smile absent from his face. He averted his eyes from JD's, as if he felt uncomfortable in the situation.
"All right, ladies and gentlemen." The overseer stood in position. "We can begin the rehearsal."
The lump in JD's throat wouldn't dissolve. After the ring bearer toddled down the aisle, Glorilyn took a few faltering steps behind him, her eyes on the center carpet. Then Betty Ann's friend, Winter, followed and finally Twyla, her maid-of-honor.
Mom and Dad sat on the first row. His father's smug look gave no indication he had any idea about JD's new faith. The irony of the situation launched a blow, deriding JD. He'd finally done something to please his father, but it no longer made a difference.
His mom didn't smile. Seeing her brought back their conversation about Joella. JD's stomach lurched. Mom knows I'm in love with someone else.
Betty Ann, in a simple light blue dress, stood at the back of the church, her arm on her father's and a smile pasted on her face. She strolled in with Mr. Roberts, clad in a gray suit, to the group gathered in front. With a nod, he looked from her to JD and then took a seat in the third row beside Mrs. Roberts.
JD stepped forward to meet Betty Ann and offered his arm. She smiled toward the overseer but not at him. They turned to face Mr. Carson who stood behind the podium on the raised platform. A potted plant sat on both sides. Statues of the eleven founders formed a semi-circle around the walls.
"Now is when I will read from the Book of Wisdom and pray. After the prayer, we will have the vows, and you will put the rings on each other's finger."
Mr. Carson turned to JD. "We'll start with you. Face Betty Ann. Tannon, give Betty Ann's ring to JD. This is just the rehearsal, so you won't actually place it on her finger."
Tannon reached into his pants pocket and pulled out two rings. He held the smaller one in his extended palm.
"Now, JD, take her ring and hold it on Betty Ann's finger."
JD reached back and retrieved the ring from Tannon's hand. He turned toward Betty Ann to look into her eyes.
Every breath warred with the last. Truth rose in his heart like the sun at dawn. First the orange glow on the horizon, and then a soft blaze of fire until the full light of day. I can't do it. I can't go through with this marriage. Lord, my God, help me.
JD's life collapsed around him with one sickening blow. Dave was right. Betty Ann believed JD loved her, but another woman possessed his heart. Even if he never saw Joella again, he couldn't marry Betty Ann under false pretenses. She expected him to embrace Exalted Brethren. How much more unfair could it get?
He held the ring in front of him. Family members sat in the pews watching him, watching Betty Ann. Overseer Carson waited.
JD studied her eyes again. His hands shook. The ring almost slipped from his fingers. Like a deer surrounded by hunters' rifles and no place to run, he cowered in dread.
Betty Ann sniffed and slipped a tissue out of her pocket as a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks.
JD's head throbbed. Something was wrong. Or maybe she was just emotional.
She gave him one agonizing look and fled to the front door.
Gasps echoed from both sides of the aisle.
JD glanced from Overseer Carson, to Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, to his parents. "Excuse me." He jogged down the carpeted passageway and through the door. Had Betty Ann read his thoughts? Had she sensed his doubts about marrying her?
She stood with her back to him facing an oak tree in the church front yard. Her shoulders shook.
He touched her arm. "What is it?" A squirrel scampered down and fled across the grass.
She whirled around to face him. "JD, I can't do it. I can't marry you. I'm sorry I let it get this far." She swiped at her tears, mascara running down her face.
His lungs expelled all his air. She'd uttered the words he would've said moments later. Unbelievable. He looked up to the heavens. Had God heard his silent prayer? He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but you're not the guy I thought you were. I can't see spending even the rest of this life with you." She dabbed at her face with a tissue. "It was all a big mistake."
The last few minutes seemed unreal, like he'd stepped into the lead role of a movie scene. Was Betty Ann really calling off their wedding? Finally he nodded. "I agree. It's for the best."
"You … you agree? You're not furious with me?" Grooves furrowed her brow.
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, too, that I let it get this far."
Swallows soared overhead, dipping and sailing upward again. She slipped her engagement ring off her finger and held it out to him. "To be honest, I merely relished the idea of being married. Then you pursued me. I never acknowledged that I don't love you."
"I understand. Please forgive me for my part in this. It was so wrong." JD stuck the ring in his pocket. A shiver skirted his spine. Again, he realized Dave had spoken the truth. He had almost made the gravest mistake of his life.
What a fool. He'd approached love and marriage like a stuffy old accountant, analyzing the facts without leaving room for feelings.
Could God forgive him? The words from the sunrise service barreled through his head. He will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Unrighteousness? Guilty as charged. But JD didn't have to work off his wrongdoing to balance a scale this time.
A sniffing Betty Ann remained near the tree staring out toward the church gardens, her back to him.
God had perceived JD's trouble and provided a way out of a situation beyond his control. Thankfulness bubbled up until he wanted to shout. He reached for the sky. "Thank you, Lord, for Your forgiveness and for seeing me through this day."
Chapter Thirty
The entrance to the church loomed. JD wanted to leave and never return, but he had to make the announcement … the wedding would not take place.
He understood the meaning of bittersweet now. Bitter because deep waves of regret filled him. His mistake had affected so many lives
—Mom and Dad's, Tannon and Glorilyn's, Betty Ann and the Robert's, his and … Joella's.
Sweet because now he wouldn't spend his life with a woman he didn't love … and because he'd met the Savior. He couldn't get over the sense of everything being right, even in the midst of such complications. Though a lot of people would dislike him now, maybe even hate him, he couldn't get over the airy feeling in his heart.
Thank the Lord Betty Ann made the decision when she did. She'd been courageous enough to realize the truth and speak up—that she didn't love him. But what if she hadn't? JD released a breath. He would've deserted her at the altar.
His palms were wet. The job he had to do wouldn't be pleasant, especially since Betty Ann chose to remain outside. He took a reluctant step through the front door.
The guests remained in their seats in animated conversation, in all probability discussing how the bride had fled the church followed by the groom.
The Overseer thumbed through papers on the podium.
A low buzz came from the wedding party sitting in the front pew. Twyla glanced up. "Here he comes."
JD inched down the aisle. The conversations ceased as he became the center of attention with every eye on him.
When he reached the front, he took a moment to peer at the statues glistening in the light from the stained glass windows above. He breathed deeply to calm himself, and then turned, facing the congregation. "I don't exactly know where to start. I hope everyone can find it in their hearts to forgive us."
The gasps from the wedding party and the families made his task even harder.
"Betty Ann and I have come to a mutual decision." He wasn't going to place the blame on her because she spoke up first. "We made a mistake." If his heart pounded any harder, he might keel over. "I know this is a shock."
Betty Ann's parents glared. "Mr. And Mrs. Roberts, I'm sorry for the trouble and expense our decision has caused you. But in the long run, it's better to call off the wedding now than make a mistake that would affect us the rest of our lives." Why hadn't he come to terms with this truth earlier?
Mrs. Roberts gasped, rose from her seat, and rushed down the aisle, followed by her husband.