CHAPTER 15
Kit waited nervously for Mac to drive his truck around to the ER exit. She stood just inside the automatic doors under the cool air of a vent and shivered despite the oppressive humidity that hit her every time the doors opened.
Her stomach had managed to tie itself in a variety of knots a Boy Scout would be proud of. After escaping the clutches of the sick, twisted former friend of hers, a man who’d raped her once already, all she could think about was whether she’d screwed things up with Mac.
She leaned heavily on the crutches as she shifted so her injured ankle wouldn’t bear the brunt of her weight. The thin pair of scrubs the nurse had given her to wear home hung loose on her, and with only a little provocation would slide right off. She looked like a ragamuffin. Mac had offered to go get her clothes, but in the time it would take him to go home to get them, she could be away from this place.
Mac roared up and quickly got out. She started forward, her movements awkward as she tried to learn the crutches. He stopped her before she went two feet.
He held out his arm to her. “Hold on to me for a sec,” he said.
When she complied, he took the crutches and leaned them against the side of the building. Then he swung her into his arms and carried her the remaining distance to the truck.
“Careful not to bump your foot,” he cautioned as he eased her into the passenger seat.
She melted into the seat, her muscles lacking any sort of tone. Fatigue rippled through her body, and she fought to keep her eyes open.
Mac got into the driver’s seat and eased away from the ER.
“You get my crutches?” she asked, not opening her eyes.
“In the back.”
She nodded, too tired to say anything else.
“We’ll be home in a minute,” he said softly.
She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Mac shook her gently. She roused as he cradled her in his arms and lifted her from the seat.
When he walked into his house, she sighed as a blast of cool air hit her.
“Where do you want to be?” he asked.
In your arms. Next to you. Close to you. God, anywhere he was.
“I need to change,” she said.
He took her into the bedroom and set her down on the bed.
“Sit tight. I’ll get you some shorts and a shirt.”
“Just a T-shirt.”
He smiled. “Okay. Just a T-shirt. Want one of mine?”
“Please?”
He rummaged in his drawer and pulled out a large red T-shirt. He returned to where she sat on the bed.
“Want help?”
She thought for a moment and quickly decided she didn’t have the strength to hold her arms up much less get out of the hospital scrubs.
With infinite care, he tugged the scrubs from her body then quickly pulled his T-shirt over her head and settled it over her shoulders.
It smelled of him. She clutched her arms around her, hugging his scent close to her. Then she slowly raised her gaze to him, looked into his blue eyes.
“Hold me?”
“Ahh, sweetheart.”
He crawled onto the bed with her and pulled her gently into his arms. He tucked her into his side and rested his chin on top of her head.
Safe. She felt safe and protected, like nothing could hurt her in his arms. God, she never wanted to move. Could she stay this way forever?
“I love you, Mac,” she whispered.
His entire body stiffened. He went so still, she couldn’t even feel him breathe. Then he pulled slightly away from her. He stared down at her, his eyes intense.
“Say that again.”
“I love you.”
His body deflated like a balloon. His breath tore out of his chest in one explosion of movement.
“Do you mean that?”
Hunger flooded his expression. And vulnerability like she’d never seen before in Mac. She lifted her hand to his face and cupped his beard-roughened cheek. “I never say something I don’t mean.”
He closed his eyes then lowered his forehead to hers until their noses brushed. “God, Kit. I never thought I’d hear you say those words.”
Tears welled and threatened to spill over the rims of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mac. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve let fear rule me for so long, I don’t know how to live any way else.”
Mac cupped the side of her neck, threading his hand through her hair, up behind her ear.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Kit. I’m not going to leave you. I’m never going to leave you.”
“I know,” she said softly. She smoothed a hand over his rumpled hair. “You look like hell.”
He grinned. “So do you.”
She sobered and grew silent.
He feathered his hand over her cheek then ran his fingers across her lips. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“What do we do now?”
His smile was so gentle it made her chest ache.
“We take it one day at a time. Me and you. Together. I love you, Kit. So much it makes me crazy sometime.”
“I love you too.”
“Say it again.”
She smiled and kissed him full on the lips. “I love you. I always have.”
what she needs
CHAPTER 1
Ryder Sinclair eyed the shapely blond onstage as she wound down her routine. She dipped and swayed, keeping perfect time with the music. Not as tall as most of the other strippers, she was still dynamite. Her naked breasts bobbed and swayed, and Ryder wished to God he could muster enthusiasm for the sight.
He sighed and threw back the rest of his beer in a long swallow. Mia would be done soon. They’d have a few beers, shoot the shit and both go home alone. What a fucking way to spend a Friday night.
The music stopped, and he glanced up to see Mia collect a few eager tips, then she stepped off the stage and pulled on a large T-SHIRT. She made her way through the crowd then slid onto the bar stool next to him.
“Beer,” she said, motioning toward the barkeep.
“Hot stuff as usual, darlin’,” Ryder said.
She snorted and rolled her eyes then stared ahead, focusing on the bartender as he plunked a beer down in front of her.
Ryder shook his head. She was young to be so damn cynical. Somewhere, sometime, someone had hurt that little girl but good.
Mia slid him a sideways glance. “You not hanging out at Mac’s this weekend?”
Ryder slowly shook his head.
Her eyes softened in sympathy. “You going with avoidance mode now?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Ryder muttered.
Mia raised an eyebrow and nodded slightly. “That much is evident.”
He reached over and smacked her on the ass. “Watch it, little girl.”
She laughed then quickly sobered. “You know, it would have made things a lot easier if we could have been attracted to each other.”
“No shit,” Ryder agreed.
They’d certainly tried. A few months earlier, they’d made it all the way to Mia’s tiny apartment. Had even shed their clothes before they realized what a huge mistake they were making. Instead, they’d gotten roaring drunk and exchanged sob stories.
Ryder winced. He still wished he hadn’t bared his soul. It made him damned uncomfortable for Mia to know his feelings for Kit Townsend.
“How long’s it been since you got together with Kit and Mac?” Mia asked softly.
“Awhile.”
Several weeks to be exact. He’d found it increasingly hard to make love to Kit when he knew at the end of the night he’d be leaving and Kit would sleep in Mac’s arms.
“Any chance they might split up?” Mia asked.
Ryder shook his head. “No, and I’d never try to do it. Kit loves Mac. He loves her. She needs him.”
“You said she loves you too, though.”
He nodded. “Yeah, she does. Just not like she does Mac.”
Mia shook her head. ?
??That is one fucked-up situation, Ryder.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
He motioned for another beer. The barkeep slid a cold bottle across the bar to him, and Ryder picked it up and took a long swallow. After several long moments, he turned back to Mia.
“What about you, little girl? You ever going to stop carrying a torch for that asshole who hurt you and find yourself a decent man?”
Pain darkened her blue eyes, so much so that Ryder immediately felt bad for bringing the subject up.
“Nice try,” she muttered. “But changing the subject won’t work. And I’m over him.”
Uh-huh. And Ryder might sprout wings and start clucking.
Ryder’s cell phone rang, and he looked down to see the name and number on the LCD screen. Mac. Fuck.
“Hey, man,” Ryder said as he put the phone to his ear.
“Hey,” his friend greeted. “What’s going on?”
“Nada. What about you? How’s Kit?”
Mac paused for a moment. “She’s good. The trial has been hard on her, though. Thought I might take her to the coast for the weekend. Wondered if you wanted to come.”
Ryder didn’t respond right away. He knew what the invitation involved. Sex. Between the three of them. Just like so many times before. It hadn’t used to be a problem.
He closed his eyes. “Nah, you two go on ahead. Maybe another time.”
“Okay, man. If you change your mind, you know where to find us.”
“Give Kit a kiss for me,” Ryder said.
Mac laughed. “I’ll do more than that.”
Ryder closed his cell phone and shoved it back into his pocket. Hell’s bells.
Mia looked at him, her eyes soft with sadness. “That Mac?”
Ryder nodded. “Yeah. He wanted me to go down to the coast with him and Kit.”
“Why don’t you go?”
He stared back at her. “It’s hard for me to make love to her and pretend it’s just casual sex. I don’t think I can do it anymore.”
Mia put out her hand to touch him on the arm. “I’m sorry, Ryder.”
He shrugged. “She’s happy. She’s had a lot of hurt in her life. I just want what’s best for her.”
“And what if you’re what’s best?” Mia asked.
Ryder shook his head. “She’s got Mac. He loves her.”
Mia set her beer back down with a tired sigh. “I’m going to scoot on out of here. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired. I’ll catch you later though, okay?”
Ryder leaned down and kissed her on top of the head. “You be careful, little girl. I’ll stop in to check on you soon.”
She smiled cheekily at him and headed for the dressing room.
Ryder headed out to the parking lot and straddled his Harley. A few seconds later, he gunned the engine and roared out onto the highway toward home. He was hungry and restless. If Mac was taking Kit out of town, she must not be working at the Two Step tonight. It should be safe to stop off and grab a bite.
Then again he could be very wrong. Fifteen minutes later, Ryder stood at the entrance to the Two Step staring across the room at Kit.
It was a hell of a note when he started avoiding a girl he’d considered his best friend for over half his life. She was more than his best friend. And that was the problem.
He shook his head and forced himself to walk in as casually as he used to. When things had gotten so fucking complicated he didn’t know. Had he always felt so deeply for her? He honestly couldn’t separate the way he felt about her now and the way he felt for her even six months ago. It all ran together in one long string.
“Ryder!”
Shit.
He looked up, unable to keep from smiling at her. “Hey darlin’,” he said huskily.
She threw herself in his arms and proceeded to wrap herself completely around him. God, she felt good in his arms. He held onto her for a second before lifting her away.
“How you doing?”
She smiled. “I’m good. Hey, did Mac call you?”
An uneasy sensation crept up his spine. “Yeah, he called.”
“And? Are you going?”
Excitement shown in her green eyes, and her lips were split into a wide smile. It was good to see her smiling. She’d been through a hell of a lot in the past months.
“Uh, not this time, darlin’.”
Her lips turned down into a pout. “Why not?”
“You and Mac need the time alone. You don’t need me tagging along like a third wheel.”
Something indiscernible flashed in her eyes. “I want you to come, Ryder,” she said quietly. “You said that me and Mac . . . that me being with him didn’t change things between us. I’ve missed you.”
“Ah hell, darlin’.”
He dragged a hand through his hair and fiddled with his row of earrings. He didn’t want to disappoint her, and she was right. It was him who’d reassured her that her relationship with Mac wouldn’t change things between the three of them. It was a lie, but not one he’d intended to tell. It was his fault things were changing.
“Will you come?”
The pleading in her eyes was his undoing. Kit didn’t ever ask for a lot, and he’d cut off his right arm before denying her pretty much anything.
“You know I never could turn you down when you pout,” he said by way of concession.
She threw herself around him again, and he felt himself harden instantly. She reached up on tiptoe and brushed her lips across his. He caught her before she withdrew and deepened the kiss, his tongue melting hot against hers.
Her breathing sped up, and her hand tangled in his long hair. Man, he loved it when she got her hands in his hair. Almost as much as he loved wrapping his hands in her hair while she sucked his cock.
“You’ve missed me too,” she whispered against his lips. Her mouth curved into a smile of satisfaction.
Hell yeah, he’d missed her. He’d thought of little else for the last several weeks.