“Sydney said he looks like a decent guy.”
There was no hiding the irritation that washed over Angel’s face as he stood up with his empty plate in hand and walked around the counter.
“I know. I know,” she said, suddenly feeling stupid about even saying it. “Looking decent doesn’t mean anything, and you’d think I would know this better than anyone, right?”
Angel set his plate down in the sink and wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her on the cheek. “I wasn’t even thinking about that, babe. All I’m saying is, from what you know about this guy, at least at one point in his life he was very bad news. I don’t want you taking any chances.”
“I won’t,” she whispered, spinning around to face him. He pinned her against the sink, looking into her eyes. She smiled, softly pecking him. “But it’s not even about meeting him so much. Of course I’m curious, but I’m more curious about meeting my brother.”
“If he’s even your brother,” Angel reminded her but kissed her the second she felt her smile level. “Baby, I know this has gotta be exciting for you, and I wanna be excited for you too, but I’d hate for you to get your hopes up and this turn out to be a letdown. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
She nodded, knowing he was right and felt suddenly embarrassed to look him in the eyes because she knew how stupid he must be thinking she was. How could she let herself get so caught up in this so quickly? There were still so many unanswered questions. She knew all this. It was the first thing she’d thought. This could very well be one big lie, but a part of her was hopeful that it wasn’t.
“Hey,” he said, lifting her chin so she was forced to look into his eyes again. “It’s okay to be curious. I am too.”
She took a deep breath and shrugged. “Maybe I could do what Sydney suggested. Feel him out via email for a little bit before I decide if I wanna meet him. I could ask him to send me photos. That way my mom can confirm whether or not it’s really him, and Sydney can confirm if it’s the guy who showed up at his place. At least then we’d know it’s actually him. It still wouldn’t mean we can trust him, but at least we could rule out if he’s an imposter.”
“Now you’re talking.” Angel smiled, kissing her, then took her by the hand around the counter and toward the sofa. Without turning around, he asked. “So how late were you up with Syd last night?”
It was casual, but Sarah knew him too well. It was probably something he’d had every intention of asking her from the moment she’d mentioned she was up late.
He sat down, and she plopped down next to him, flipping the television on. “I’m not sure. One maybe? I just know it was late, and then this morning we were up early, and after that conversation with my mom, I was done. The nap felt real good.”
Angel peered at her. “Anything new with Syd?”
“Actually,” she said, knowing this was going to change the mood, so she chose her words carefully. “He and Carina had been having problems for some time now, and they finally broke up.”
Over the years, Angel had gotten pretty good at hiding his displeasure when it had to do with Sydney even when she told him things she knew he wouldn’t exactly be thrilled about. But being with him for this long, Sarah was also good at picking up on the telltale signs that something had hit a nerve, like last semester when she’d switched her classes around a few weeks into the semester. By the time she was settled in her new Marketing Principles class, the only person left to partner up for the project they’d already started was Dae, the guy Angel couldn’t stand on her track team. Dae had asked her out more than once, knowing she was in a relationship with Angel.
When she had to break the news to him about who she’d be spending time working on their project, he’d played it off as if he were okay with it like he was now. But Sarah could see it in his eyes just by the way he looked at her. He’d been anything but okay with it.
“Did they? How long ago was this?”
“Few weeks ago,” Sarah said. “It’s why he decided to come home for the rest of the summer.” Seeing his reaction to that almost made her want to keep what else he decided to do to herself, but she knew it was just a matter of time before she had to tell him, so she figured she may as well do it now. “He’s transferring to East Side U. too.”
That launched the brows. “He is? When?”
“This year. He put in all his paperwork before he came home, and, of course, he’s already been accepted.” She leaned into him, feeling how tense he’d suddenly gotten. She rubbed his arm. “Remember way back I told you U.C.L.A. had always been where he’d talked about going when we were in high school? ESU was the other big one he’d always wanted to go to. Now he’s decided to finish school there.”
She wouldn’t mention that the only reason he changed his mind back then was because Carina had gotten a scholarship to Columbia and that now that they’d broken up he was transferring to a school just two hours away from Sarah. Regardless of how bad it sounded or looked, Sarah knew it had nothing to do with wanting to be near her. He just wanted to be closer to home, and he said staying at Columbia, where he’d see Carina every day, would be awkward. There were other academic reasons for it that made sense. He also said he was over the cold weather and being in Southern California would be a welcome change—the change he’d need to get over Carina.
“So it’s over, over?” Angel asked, still looking a little stunned over the whole thing. “After all that time with her, he’s really walking away? Weren’t they together as long as you and I have been?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, still a bit saddened over it. “They started going out the year I moved out here. But this isn’t the first time they’ve broken up. They’ve had issues for a long time.”
Angel eyed her weirdly. “What kind of issues?”
Sarah straightened out, feeling a little uncomfortable. If she didn’t know any better, Angel was already coming to conclusions of his own—conclusions he was partly right about. Just like Angel, Carina had had the same reservations about Sarah and Sydney’s friendship all along, but she’d never told him. Still, Sarah knew the whole truth. No matter what, she wouldn’t let him make accusations.
“He said she was very clingy and needy—that she always had been—but he’d thought she would outgrow it.”
He was still peering at her in that strange way that made her so uncomfortable. She’d never been good at lying, and she’d vowed long ago to never keep anything from Angel again. She’d learned her lesson. Not even half-truths would be acceptable.
“So what made him finally decide to end it?”
Sarah removed the hair band out of her hair and pulled her hair back again, redoing her pony tail. It was a nervous attempt to make time to think of how to say it. She’d been so consumed with thoughts of her father all day she never even stopped to think of how best to tell him if she ever had to. It hadn’t occurred to her he might ask straight out.
“Carina gave him an ultimatum,” she said, looking away at the television, hoping he wouldn’t ask for specifics, but she knew he would, so she didn’t want to be looking him in the eye when she told him. “And he finally walked away.”
Feeling his eyes on her, she continued to pretend to be engrossed in the laundry detergent commercial on the television. “What was that ultimatum, Sarah?”
If she didn’t hear it in his voice—that he already knew—she might be tempted to continue to stare at the TV. Of course, it was now on an episode of a show Angel knew she hated, so it was pointless to pretend she was into it. Needing to deal with this head on instead of making it seem as though she might actually believe for a second what she knew Angel was already thinking, she turned to face him. “He either ended his friendship with me or ended his relationship with her.”
Angel’s eyes dug into her like she’d only seen them do this intensely a few times since she’d been with him. One of those times was that night she’d never forget: the night he met Sydney for the first time.
“So h
e chose you over his girlfriend of almost three years?”
“Yes, but their problems had been building for months, Angel—”
“And now he’s moving to Southern California?”
Sarah nodded, knowing full well she’d been absolutely right about how Angel would take this. No matter how much she argued or how many other facts she had to back up the idea that there’d been many issues between Sydney and Carina, she could already see it in his eyes. He wasn’t going to buy any of it. “Look,” she said, slipping her hand in his. “I know what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“Of course I do,” she said, trying not frown. “It’s what you’ve always thought: that he has feeling for me beyond friendship and that his moving out here has everything to do me and not the academic reasons he told me and that—”
“He’s in love with you and always has been.” Sarah was already shaking her head, but before she could protest, he continued. “Why do you act like that’s so out of the question?”
“Because it is,” she said with conviction. “You don’t know him like I do, Angel. If he’s always been in love with me, don’t you think he would’ve mentioned it by now? I know, for you, it’s seems impossible, but he and I were friends long before I met you—long before I was in a committed relationship. He could’ve said something then. At the very least hinted.”
“Maybe he was afraid of ruining things,” Angel said, still looking every bit determined to stick with his theory. “I can’t believe the thought never crossed your mind. You said it yourself. He was overweight for many of those years you knew him—very overweight. That could’ve been a huge deterrent for him. If he was that insecure that you wouldn’t be physically attracted to him, maybe that’s what kept him from making a move sooner.”
She continued to shake her head. “It was never like that between us. In fact, I used to tease him that I thought Carina had a crush on him before they even got together.” She took a deep breath when his expression stayed exactly the same. Deciding to try a different approach, she humored him. “Okay, so what? You think now he’s decided to make his move? Now that I’m in love and have been in love and in a serious relationship for almost three years?” She squeezed his hand. “Baby, he knows how much you mean to me. I promise you he would never do or say anything that would cause problems for us, even if by some infinitesimal chance you’re right and he’s been in love with me all this time.”
His glare finally eased up the tiniest bit, but Sarah knew everything she’d worked so hard for in the last three years was down the toilet. The progress she made getting Angel to fully understand the dynamics of her friendship with Sydney, even if it was never full acceptance but more like tolerance, was back to square one.
But she was done with tension for the day. She could tell Angel could use a release, and she definitely could too. Smiling wickedly, she leaned in and kissed him passionately. Feeling him over his pants with her hand, she confirmed he was instantly ready for her. Pulling back, she smiled at him, biting her lower lip. “I’m chaining the door.”
She jumped up and headed for the front door, chaining and locking the dead bolt Angel himself had installed when she and her mom first moved in. She turned to see Angel smirking at her expectedly. The bulge in his crotch was evidence he knew exactly what she was up to. She hurried to him, leaning over to kiss him as her hands worked his zipper open and pulled him out as he groaned in her mouth. Within seconds, she was out of her shorts and climbed on the sofa one knee on either side of him.
As she slid onto him easily, making it obvious how ready she too had been for him, Angel moaned, letting his head fall back.
“God yes,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut as she pushed down, wanting him in as deep as possible.
This was so what she needed today.
Chapter 6
Sarah
A week after Sydney’s visit, Sarah finally sent her dad an email. She’d taken both Angel’s and Sydney’s advice and kept it simple without giving him any info about herself just yet. Basically, she told him she’d gotten the message that he’d been looking for her and wanted to meet with her but she wasn’t comfortable with that until she knew more about him.
She asked him a few generic questions such as where he lived and what he did now for a living, which was her masked way of finding out if he was still doing illegal things to get by. She also asked about her brother: his age and why he suddenly wanted to meet her. She asked if it were possible for him to send a photo of himself and maybe one of her brother as well.
His response came that night. Sarah stared at the unopened email in her inbox from Omar Ortiz. Even when she’d first gotten the info from Sydney, she’d thought about how, if her mom and dad been together when she was born, she might’ve been an Ortiz instead of a Fierro like her mom.
She’d told both Sydney and Angel that she’d gotten a response but had yet to read it earlier when she saw the email indicator on her phone. Feeling almost silly, she actually considered waiting until Angel got to her place after his practice so he could be there when she opened it. For some reason, she didn’t want to do so in front of her mom. She hadn’t told her yet about receiving the response. Just before she could click on it, her phone dinged with a text. It was from her cousin Valerie.
I’m right around the corner. Let’s go get coffee. I haven’t seen you in too long.
Smiling, Sarah texted back that coffee sounded good to her then exhaled a bit dramatically as she clicked on the email and began to read. There was no way she was waiting until she got back from getting coffee with Valerie.
Hello Sarah,
I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I was to finally hear from you. I guess my trip out to Flagstaff paid off. I completely understand your not wanting to meet until you get to know a little more about me.
First of all, your mom may’ve already told you that I did some time in prison. I’ve been out for over five years now and work at Hanson Beach Memorial Hospital doing maintenance and repair. I’ve been living out here in Hanson Beach ever since my release. My sister and her husband live out here, and I’ve stayed with them until I was able to get a place of my own.
Your brother’s name is Leonardo (Leo) and is just shy of twenty. I think I had it wrong when I spoke to the young man in Flagstaff, which is weird because I’m always a year behind not ahead with his age. He still lives in Arizona and attends the University of Phoenix. I recently reconnected with him since, unfortunately, I missed out on most of his life as well. He actually tracked me down a few years ago, and we’ve met several times since then and stay in touch via text, phone calls, and email. Ever since I told him he had a sister, he’s wanted to meet you. He is an only child, and as far as I know, so are you. I think it would be nice for both of you get to know each other and might not be too inconvenient if you, too, are still in Arizona.
I’ve uploaded a couple of photos of myself and a photo Leo sent me of himself. Feel free to ask whatever else you need to know. I told him you contacted me and that you want to take this slowly. He understands and wants to give you all the time you need, but he did say to tell you he’s very much looking forward to meeting you eventually. He asked me to pass on his contact info in case you want to call and speak with him first or like with me just email.
Warm regards,
Omar (Dad)
Sarah reread the email a second time, taking in her brother’s name and age. If he was just shy of twenty, then those times her dad had been seeing other women, when he was living with her mom, he must’ve gotten someone else pregnant.
Pinching her lips to the side, she thought about that. So far there was little positive she could say about the man who fathered her. She was glad now she’d decided to take it slowly, but she wouldn’t hold her father’s past against her brother. Like her, he had no choice in the matter of who his father was. She wouldn’t be calling him, but she might email him since he did seem anxious to meet her. Sarah
had to admit she too was weirdly excited about the prospect of having a sibling. But like Angel had warned, she wouldn’t get her hopes up. She still didn’t know any of this to be fact.
Valerie arrived just as Sarah was opening the photo attachments he’d sent. Sarah had already filled her in earlier that week on the phone when they’d spoken briefly about the new information she now had about her father. So Valerie stood next to Sarah and her laptop, waiting just as curiously when Sarah told her about her father’s response to her email and that he’d sent photos.
The first one was of himself. In it, he was leaning against a doorway with a faint smile. She could now see what Sydney and Angel had been talking about when they said that her eyes were haunting. For years, Sydney had told her and then later Angel tried to explain it, yet she’d never seen what they were talking about in her own eyes. But she saw it now in her father’s. There was something profound about them. Angel said it was the very first thing he noticed about her the first time he’d laid eyes on her. Just like what Sydney had described feeling when he’d met the man, she couldn’t stop looking in his eyes. It almost choked her up.
“Wow,” Valerie said. “Sydney wasn’t lying, Sarah. You look just like him. There’s no way he isn’t your dad. Look at those eyes.”
Sarah didn’t say a thing. For as much as she stared at them, it was all still so surreal. Instead of commenting because she had no words, she clicked on the second photo. It was another one of him, only he was much younger and very good-looking.
“That’s him too?” Valerie asked.
Sarah nodded, reading the caption on the photo. “This was around the time I met your mom.”
“No wonder your mom hooked up with him. He was hot.”
With a smirk, Sarah clicked on the last of the attachments, making no comment again. This was her father, and there was such a resemblance between her and him it felt weird to talk about him being hot.
The last photo popped open. “Holy hotness, Batman!” Valerie said, leaning in more. “Who’s that?”