"We were so worried." He said pulling away.
"Are mom and dad here?" She asked trying to side step his comment.
"They'll be home soon." He said looking at her. "Where did you go?"
"Places," she said, not feeling like going into detail.
"I didn't see you at school."
"I avoided you." She said facing the comment and being truthful about it too. She had been avoiding him, taking precaution so she didn't run into Paul.
"Oh..." Was his only response. He flopped down onto the couch and looked up at her.
"I know... well I haven't... it's just, Scar..." He stopped, not finding the right words for her.
She just nodded and smiled ever so slightly. "I know I've been a bit of a psycho."
He grinned at her, the grin that still looked like a little kid even though he was growing up. "I guess that's true enough, but I still love you."
"I love you too." She said ruffling his dark auburn hair as she sat down next to him.
It was only a few minutes before Emma came in the door looking grim and tired. Her blond hair was falling from the bun she had done that morning and her blouse was wrinkled.
"Paul." She called as she walked into the living room.
"Mom..." Scarlett said softly, standing up.
Emma couldn't even keep herself together, the tears just started falling from her pale eyes onto her even paler cheeks. She soon fell to her knees, quivering.
Paul didn't move, he just looked at Scarlett, his eyes telling her to go hug their mother.
She sighed and moved closer, she placed her hands onto her mother's still shaking back.
"It's okay." She whispered.
"I missed you." Emma said, looking up and pulling her daughter into a hug. "I love you, sweetie."
"I... I love you too." Scarlett said the words and somehow her heart almost seemed to warm.
A few minutes later both Emma and Scarlett stood up, Emma wiped the tears from her amber eyes, Scarlett just stared down at her black converse sneakers.
"Where were you?" Emma asked, putting on her best "shame" voice.
"I stayed with..." She thought a moment, if she said Renny, would that get Renny in trouble? "I stayed with Jared."
"But I called... he said you weren't there and so did his mother." Emma said catching Scarlett's lie.
"Why does it matter? I'm back." Scarlett's voice was cold once more, suddenly she wasn't hopped up on the idea of coming home. "Where is dad?" She asked, trying to change the subject.
"He's... he's uh, on a business trip."
"He left." Paul said without emotion.
"Why?!" Scarlett was scared now, what if she had done this!
"Your father and I just needed a break." She explained calmly, as if it was no matter to her.
"It's my fault." She replied, it wasn't a question.
"Scarlett, of course it isn't!" Emma exclaimed, her face showing a mixture of anger and guilt.
"I'm the one that's been depressed since September, when it is now the middle of November, I'm the one that tried to commit suicide. It is on me." Scarlett couldn't believe that tears were now filling her eyes. For once it wasn't about Levi, it was about her family... the family she had beaten down and thrown away! Now, they were falling apart and it was her fault. She suddenly remembered a time when she had pushed Levi away for a short while.
She sat outside in the front yard, the afternoon sun soaking into her semi-tan skin. She watched as a few of the kids from the neighborhood played a game of hockey in the street. She had done that, not too long ago, getting scraped up knees and elbows, but having a blast. It was practically neighborhood, summer, tradition... especially since their were rarely cars passing through their neighborhood.
"Scarlett, wanna play?" Greg Wilson, from across the street, skated over. He was sixteen, the same age as her and they had grown up playing the game... they liked to brag that they made it popular.
"Nah." She said shaking her head and looking down at the romance novel she held open in her hand.
"Sure? It's tradition, remember?" He said with a mischievous grin.
"Maybe one game." She said and held out her hand for him to pull her up.
She ran and grabbed her skates, putting them on and skating out onto the street. She hadn't of agreed if they had all been little kids, but like today the participants weren't usually under twelve and they were often closer to her own age.
"Let's play!" She shouted and got a good uproar from the players. And so the game began, five minutes in and she already saw a small trickle of blood coming from her calf.
"SCARLETT." It was Levi, he was on the sidewalk, shouting over the loud hockey game.
She ignored him, she had nothing to say to him.
"SCARLETT." He shouted again, he was half way in the street now."
"Go see what he wants, you can jump back in." Greg whizzed past her.
She sighed and skated over to Levi, zig zagging to avoid skaters.
"What?" She asked coldly and harshly.
"Why are you avoiding me?!" He asked, thoroughly confused.
"Oh please, like you don't want me to avoid you."
"What? It's the summer, I wanna spend it with my girlfriend." He said looking down at her, his brown eyes looked sad.
"Go spend it with the slut you were with at Ora's."
"Excuse me, you think I'm cheating on you?" He laughed, trying to contain it, but he laughed.
"Well I'm glad you think I'm such a joke." Scarlett said. She turned back towards the game, but he grabbed her upper arm, lightly, and pulled her back.
"No, of course not! That slut was my cousin who had come for a few days after school let out."
"You were being all handsy." She said, feeling guilty.
"Not in an inappropriate way, I'm not cheating on you, Scar. I love you!" His voice softened and so did her angry eyes.
"I love you too." She said hugged let him lean down and kiss her lightly.
"I was just jealous..."
"I know, it's one of the many things that are awesome about you."
She smiled and thrust a hockey stick into his arms. "You playin' or what?"
Scarlett had gone to her room and as she thought about her father leaving she cleaned. She cleaned up the floor, started her laundry, vacuumed, dusted... everything. She hadn't realized how dirty it had gotten and smelly. So despite the bitter wind she opened the window letting fresh air in.
"Dinner." Emma called and Scarlett didn't wait for a second call, she walked out of her room and into the kitchen, where Paul and her mother were sitting down.
"Your eating with us?" Paul was surprised.
"Why not, I'm hungry." She said sitting down as Emma jumped up to grab her a plate.
"So, should I make an appointment with Renny?" Emma asked taking a bite of the pot roast.
"Yes!" Scarlett said with way too much enthusiasm, making Emma and Paul look at her with curiosity. "I mean, yeah." She said more quietly and immediately hopped up when she heard the phone ring.
"Hello?" She answered the phone sitting on the microwave stand.
"Hi, it's Chase. Um, is this the right number... the uh Jonas house?"
"Hey, Chase, what's up?" She asked, leaning against the white wall.
"You want to go up to the cliff?" He asked.
"Now? It's almost six-thirty and it's dark out."
"So, it will make it more exciting." He said.
"Yeah, sure. Um, pick me up?" She asked and when he grunted yes she gave him their home address. "See you in a few."
She hung up and asked, "what?" when she saw both her brother and mom looking at her.
"Who was that?" Emma asked.
"My friend." She said shoving a fork full of food in her mouth before hurrying into her bedroom, leaving the two of them in shock.
"She has a friend..." Paul mumbled and smiled ever so slightly.
"I-I... wow." Emma was so surprised, her daughter was
not only some what happy, but had a friend.
Chapter16
As Scarlett and Chase sat on the dead grass they both had a thought. Chase's was simple, she's beautiful yet troubled... but I really like her.
Scarlett's was also simple, yet in her mind it complicated all her emotions. He's been so amazing and kind, we've both had losses and dealt with a lot of crap... I don't wanna like him so much!
It had become a thing, these last few days, too not speak. Whether they both looked off the cliff or not, feeling the adrenaline of the dare rush through them, or sat on the sidelines, they didn't speak. So on this particularly cold night they didn't speak, but were left with their thoughts. Dangerous thoughts.
"What about college, Mr. Bane? Don't you plan on going?" Haley Waters, the young and fresh guidance counselor, asked.
"Me and what money?" He asked. "I'm not going, there is no point."
"Chase, summer vacation starts tomorrow and then Senior year... you really need to start planning these things. If it's money, there are programs we can get you into and if it's grades, I can help you figure out how to study."
"It's not about any of that! I just don't want to go." Chase said, standing up, roughly, from the chair.
"Please consider it."
"I have and I say I don't want it! Hell, I don't want school at all, but if I don't go my little brother won't go and if he let's his education slip, I'll never forgive myself!" He was screaming now and charged out of the small office, down the hall and out the door. It was true, everything he ever did he did for Grant, even more so when their mother died. Grant needed someone to look up too and that had always been Chase, he wouldn't let his brother down like their father had. If he had to give up everything, he would see his brother got a good education and turned into a decent person.
"So... do you live with your father?" Scarlett asked, breaking the silence.
"Technically yes, but no I don't. I never see him. I avoid him and he's too busy drinking and fooling around to see that." Chase replied quietly, his usually monotone voice was close to breaking. Everything was building up.
"Oh. Sorry." She said, looking down at her hands, they were red from the cold so she stuffed them in her coat pocket.
"Yeah." He muttered and sighed, looking at her. "How did your parents take you coming home?"
"Fine, I guess I'm trying, but... dad is gone and I just realized I've missed two months of my brother's life." She said, although saying it made it seem about ten times more real.
"Oh. Sorry." He said.
"Did you just mock me?" She asked, looking at him, a smile tugging at her chapped lips.
He shrugged. "Mocking is loving."
"Yeah, I really feel the lo-," She stopped and looked back off into the night, the few stars that twinkled.
"You need to loosen up!" He exclaimed and stood up.
"Excuse me?" This time she was truly offended.
He rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm, pulling her up onto her feet.
"I mean you never smile, laugh, grin... your all depressed and grumpy and too be honest way too sorry for yourself."
"Whoa, that is not fair! I lost the person I love, I'm entitled to a little time, a little depression." Her voice was on the verge of shouting.
"Hey, calm down now. I'm not saying you can't be sad, but, Scarlett, just try to be happy." He said and opened up the messenger bag he carried when on the motorcycle. He pulled out an ipod and speakers, plugging it in and scrolling until he found the song.
"Do you think Levi would want you too be sad for the rest of your life? Somehow, although I didn't know Levi well, I think he would want you to be happy... and dance?"
"I know, I just need... time." She said the word she had been saying forever... time. "And dance?"
He grabbed her by the hands as the music began to play. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right
He spun her around and away from him before pulling her back, being careful not to pull her too close, in fear of making her uncomfortable.
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
Scarlett grinned, it was small, but Chase saw it and that made him grin.
They kept dancing, spinning around and moving their feet without any knowing of the beat.
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
As the song finished Scarlett began to cry, the grin was still on her face, but the tears flowed. She stood in front of Chase, her cheeks were flushed and her nose wiggled trying to keep warm liquid from running down her nose.
He stared at her for a minute and then moved closer, he pulled her close to him, her face borrowing in his chest.
"It's okay." He mumbled into her messy red hair.
Her small figure trembled in his arms, his own dark green eyes flashed with sadness, a single tear trailed down his face and landed in her hair.
"It's okay." He said again.
It was close to thirty minutes later when Scarlett pulled away from Chase and looked up at him. Her face was streaked with the wet from her tears, her face red from the crying. He reached out and brushed away some of the tears from under her eye. Just one finger slid across her face softly and she closed her eyes.
"I don't want to go home." She croaked, her throat horse.
He just gave her a single nod, got on the bike and when she had wrapped her arms securely around his waist, he drove off down the road. He understood and although Jared and even Annie had lost Levi too, they didn't truly know how she felt. Chase had something, that something made her emotions rise and her stomach flip.
Chapter17
She couldn't speak.
If she tried she would burst out in tears again, she knew that, so she kept her mouth shut. Chase's house was a rather large (or average) two story house although the outside looked like a house she would run and scream from.
The house itself was filthy, although the clutter was too a minimum there was alcohol bottles lying around, pizza boxes and she was pretty sure she spotted a lacy bra in the hallway upstairs.
Chase opened the door to what would appear to be a typical teenage boy's room, the only difference was their was framed (or canvased) artwork hanging on the white walls. Scarlett wanted to praise the work, make a friendly comment, but saying something nice to Chase, might make the tears come even quicker.
"Here." He handed her a t-shirt. "I don't think you'd be comfortable sleeping in that." He said pointing at her jeans and blouse.
She just nodded wordlessly and took the shirt from him, she tossed her coat on a pile of seemingly dirty clothes. It was followed by her blouse and then her jeans. Chase had turned away towards the bed, which he was making.
"You can sleep in the bed... and if you need anything, just..." He trailed off and looked at her ashen, yet emotionless, face. He grabbed a notebook off the small desk in a corner and handed it to her. "If you need anything just write it down."
Why do you have to be so damn sweet!? She thought and took the paper, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"I'll be back." He said and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
She laid down, pulling the dark blue blanket over her body and letting all her muscles relax. Soon she fell asleep, her mind slipping into her tired dreams. And although Chase wouldn't tell her, when he came back she was crying and shaking in her sleep.
Part 2 of Chapter 17
That morning Scarlett woke up, the pillow under wet and her legs tangled in the sheets.
She could hear laughter floating upstairs, actually a distinct girl giggle. She sat up, for a second she was confused as to where she was.
"CHASE?" She shouted, although it was dry and rather quiet.
"What?" He asked tiredly, coming into the room. His dark blond hair was messy and his shirt was missing.
"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed. Her brain told her to cry, in fact so did her heart, but she had cried for almost eight hours in twenty four hours (although she was oblivious to the crying done in her sleep), therefore she couldn't physically cry.
"For what?" He asked grabbing a shirt off the floor and sniffing it before slipping it over his head.
"For crying, crashing at your place... everything!"
"You literally have nothing to be sorry for." He sat down on the bed, looking over at her.
She crawled next to him, sitting down, her legs hanging over the bed.
"I-I know I can be extremely depressing and even quiet." She said.
He shrugged. "When my mom died I was depressed and quiet and when... well Grant... I was pretty depressed. Maybe not as long as you've been, but for a few weeks I had a rough go of it." He said in a comforting tone, his arm wrapped around her upper back.
She leaned into him and sighed. "Well, will I ever truly move on?" She asked, genuinely interested, although their losses weren't quite the same.
"Yes. You'll even find someone else, I'm sure, but that doesn't mean you'll forget him. You'll always love him, but you'll learn to love someone else as well." He said softly and looked down at her as she looked up. They gazed at each other, as if a million words were being said.
"What if I can't learn?" She asked quietly, "what if I can't let go."
"Then I'll teach you." He whispered as he leaned down into her, their lips meeting.
It was the first kiss she had had since Levi died, in fact it was the first kiss with another man since close to two years ago. She didn't stop Chase, because her surface was nervous, but her core wanted this. Wanted a new life.
"Chase... are you sure you want to deal with me?"
"We're both messed up, we both have issues... I love you." He said, and meant it although he hadn't known her for more then a week.
"I love you too." She whispered and kissed him again.
Maybe somewhere, somehow, Levi was smiling. The girl he had always loved had found happiness again and that's all he ever wanted.
Chapter18
1 Year Later
"I think daisies are slightly girly." Chase said looking at the yellow flowers Scarlett carried in her hands.