CHAPTER 13: EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS GIRL
Vincent
My Uncle Al kept screaming at me as he was being restrained by police officers and dragged away alongside his gun-toting crony Eddie.
“You’re gonna get it up the ass, how about that, you disrespectful little shit!” he yelled. “I’ll be coming to see you tomorrow at your mother’s house. I’ll shove that afro up your ass. You better be there, Vincent!”
Yeah, I guess he didn’t like the alternative lyrics for “Papa Was a Gravestone.” Now I was squarely back on his hit list. As the pot wore off, I realized I must have a death wish. What other explanation could there be for my suicidal switch of the lyrics? Then I looked at Freeway, smiling ear to ear as he strolled arm-in-arm with a naughty nurse on one side and a sexy cat woman on the other. Yup. It must’ve been peer group pressure that made me do it.
“That was bad ass, Vin,” Freeway said, patting me on the back and taking in the whole chaotic scene as we stood on the street outside the club. “I got mad respect for you, man. See what happens when you wear an afro. It’s all about musical integrity. You called a spade a spade, man. You called a mobster a mobster.”
Yes, I was still wearing the afro wig.
“Yeah, too bad I insulted my aunt, his wife, in the process,” I lamented, trying to play it cool as I envisioned my very short future on this planet and wondered where the hell Saturn was in the middle of all this.
“Don’t worry about it,” Freeway said. “We got your back. Speaking of which, we gotta go bail out Friday before I retire for the evening with these beautiful ladies.”
They both purred at Freeway as I tried to shake myself out of my daze.
“Good point,” I said. “That was awesome of Friday and Pepe to stop those goons. I owe them big-time.”
“Pepe’s gonna drive us over to the police station if you want to hop in,” Freeway said.
“I gotta find Saturn first,” I said. “The station ain’t far from here. I’ll run over if I have to or have Saturn drop me off. She’s got her car here somewhere.”
Morgan found me first.
“There you are,” the out-of-breath genie/DJ asked us. “Can I interview you guys about what happened?”
“Vin will tell you all about it,” Freeway said with a smile as he escorted his ladies of the night toward the band’s paddy wagon, not to be confused with the police paddy wagons on the scene.
“And excuse me while I kiss these girls,” Freeway playfully added, a gender-changing reference to Jimi’s famous lyric in “Purple Haze.” Back in the day, Jimi often would often sing “excuse me while I kiss this guy” instead of the original lyric, “excuse me while I kiss the sky.” Legend has it, Jimi heard some girl say “excuse me while I kiss this guy” outside a club in London.
Too bad I wasn’t in a playful mood at the moment.
“See you at the station, Freeway,” I said before focusing on Morgan and her cute, earnest little face.
“Vin, please tell me what happened,” she pleaded. “They canceled The Afterglows and everything.”
I tried to sort it all out in my confused brain.
“I changed a few lyrics on that last song and my uncle was actually here for the show, so he got pissed off,” I told her. “Him and his buddy kind of started a fight. They were coming after me, but Friday and Pepe, our driver, got in the way. Some security people got in the way. It was mostly just pushing and shoving near the stage, but then a couple of guys pulled guns. The cops arrested them. That’s it. Just another Halloween show at the Heartbreak, right?”
Morgan shook her head in disbelief.
“You and your uncle don’t get along,” she said, trying to figure out how to turn the mess into a sound bite.
“It’s kind of a long story,” I said. “I’m sorry things got so fucked up.”
“Yeah, it’s a shame,” she said. “You guys put on a great show, except maybe for the chainsaw and the guns.”
“Yeah, wow, what a night,” I said. “I guess they won’t want us performing here again anytime soon.”
Morgan had a hard time disagreeing with that statement, but she looked at me for a second and kissed me anyway — right on the lips. And for some reason, I kissed her back.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “You guys are gonna be great. Everybody can see that, everybody can hear it. You’ll get a gig somewhere after this, especially with all the publicity you’re gonna get after this show. I know we’re going to talk about it on the air tomorrow, that’s for sure. And I know there will be plenty of videos on the Internet. Some of them might be up already.”
“Really?” I said.
“Definitely,” she said. “I hope you’re ready. You’re 15 minutes of fame start now.”
“Holy shit,” I said. “I hope I’m alive long enough to see it.”
Morgan laughed. I didn’t.
And fittingly, just as I said those words, I noticed Saturn looking at me from about 30 yards up the street while standing with a couple of other people. She started walking toward me.
“Here comes Saturn,” I said.
Morgan briefly looked at her, too, and then back at me.
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” she said. “Give me a call sometime if you need a friendly voice on the other end.”
I didn’t answer her right away. I looked at Saturn slowly approaching me in all of her sexiness and agonized over how I had fucked everything up once again.
Morgan made sure to hug me before Saturn arrived.
“Yeah, thanks Morgan. Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” I said, wondering if Saturn had seen the kiss as well.
Morgan quickly bolted in the other direction and Saturn only stared at me. I could tell she wasn’t happy. Her brown eyes looked drained.
“Were you looking for me?” Saturn asked.
“Uh,” I hesitated. “Not yet. Morgan was kind of interviewing me about what happened with the show and all.”
“I see,” Saturn said, keeping a poker face and possibly holding onto an elephant-sized piece of information — whether she saw Morgan and I kiss or not. “Are you OK, Vin? Did your uncle try to shoot you?”
“Sort of,” I said. “He had his goon coming after me, at least until Friday and Pepe stepped in.”
“Can we please talk in private instead of out here on the street with a bunch of freaks running around?” Saturn requested.
“Absolutely,” I said, finally taking off my afro wig. “Can we talk in your car? I don’t have mine and I told the other guys in the band I would see if you could drop me off at the police station. I kind of wanted to be there and help bail out Friday since he had my back a little while ago.”
“Sure,” she said with the curtness of a taxi cab driver before strutting along the sidewalk with her long black heels. “I’m parked one block over. Follow me.”
Saturn beeped me into the passenger seat of her cozy little silver Honda CRX and then got into the driver’s seat. She didn’t start the car. She got right to the point.
“Vin, this isn’t going to work between us,” she said, coldly. “You’re too young, you still have a lot of growing up to do and that’s OK. You’re 18. That’s what you should be doing.”
I listened and immediately felt a sharp kick to my gut.
“You saw us didn’t you?” I said.
“Saw what?” she asked, waiting for me to slit my own throat.
“Morgan just kissed me,” I admitted. “And I kissed her back.”
“No, I didn’t see that,” Saturn said, looking right at me like she meant it. “Sounds like a great interview, Vin.”
I hung my head.
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said. “You didn’t have to admit to that.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I blew it, my one chance. This is over so fast … over before it barely started. That’s what really sucks.”
“The truth is, Vin, I would have never even thought about dating an 18-year-old guy until I saw you the night
of your first performance,” Saturn said. “I’m 22. I should be dating guys who are 25, not 18.”
“Then why did you want to meet me back stage and start something?” I asked.
“Because you’re a handsome guy, you’re special and you connected with me on some level with your music,” she explained. “Tonight everything felt different, weird, not right.”
“What was it?” I asked.
“Where do I begin?” Saturn asked herself as she gripped the steering wheel. “The pot, the chainsaw, the gang signs, the guns, Morgan … every fucking song about death. Don’t we have enough death in our lives already, Vin, with my parents and your father? What about life? What about love? How’s that for starters, Vincent?”
“Oh,” I said.
“I didn’t even mind my Twister thing, that was kind of fun,” she said, trying to soften the blow a little. “I know it was Halloween and all, but could you guys include one fucking love song in your set? Just one?”
“I knew it,” I said, pounding the dashboard with my hands. “I wanted to perform the song I wrote for you and sang for you over the phone, but I was afraid it didn’t really fit for Halloween.”
Saturn sighed.
“Vin, with all the gambling you do and all the risks you like to take without thinking of the consequences, that was the one gamble you should’ve taken tonight,” she said. “I would have loved that. That would’ve made all the other shit worth it.”
Damn. That fucking hurt. Tears crept into my eyes.
What a blown opportunity. What a gutless idiot.
Saturn put her hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Vin,” she said. “You’re 18. You’ll be fucking up and making these kinds of mistakes for the next 10 years, even more so if you’re in a band and you’ve got all these women chasing after you. That’s what being young and foolish is all about.”
“Really?” I said.
“Really,” she said.
“And look at it this way,” Saturn continued, looking right at me. “If you had sung me my song in front of all those people tonight, and I caught you kissing Morgan on the street after that, you wouldn’t be here talking to me right now. I would’ve punched you in the face 10 times and you’d be lying in the gutter.”
I was completely dazed again.
“Wow,” was all I could utter.
Saturn drove me to the police station. We both sat in silence for the short trip. The “what ifs” taunted me again and again.
“Can I get one last kiss?” I groveled as she pulled next to the curb and stopped the car outside the Providence police station near a bridge overlooking I-95. I certainly wasn’t “Jamming by the I” at this horrible moment in time.
“No,” she said flatly, her pretty brown eyes showing no tears, no letup from literally dumping me on the curb. “Save it for Morgan. She’s all yours. Better watch out with her. She might be kissing another guy right now … or worse.”
Man, this girl knew just how to slice me up with her words. She was a Jedi master and I was a pathetic, fucking amateur.
“I’m sorry,” I said again as I got out of her car.
“Don’t be,” she said. “We all fuck up from time to time. This just wasn’t meant to be right now. Down the line, who knows, Vin? Grow up a little. Write some better songs. Don’t get killed by your uncle. Kick ass with the band. I’m not closing the door on us forever.”
A precious little slice of hope. It was all I could’ve asked for.
“Good,” I said. “Cuz I’m not.”
And with that, I closed her car door and waved goodbye to Saturn. Yes, that beautiful young woman had orbited out of my life almost as quickly as she had arrived. But I was determined to be ready for her if the planets aligned again.