“What do you need?” he asked.
“Water,” I mouthed. “And I want to get up.”
North held his hands out, palms up. I let go of Kota and clutched at North. He hefted me until I was on my feet. I blinked at the bandages at my wrists. I felt more crunching of bandage seams around my ankles. I was wearing a pair of shorts that didn’t fit and a large Nike t-shirt. I wondered who changed my clothes but I really didn’t care. My poor brain couldn’t handle that thought at the moment.
I wobbled on my feet. My legs didn’t want to work. My ankle throbbed. I willed myself to at least stand up straight. Kota rose with me, and wrapped an arm around my waist. North held on to my hands until it looked like I was stable.
North stepped beside me, holding on to my left hand like he was never letting go. Nathan and Silas hovered behind him. Their eyes were wide, mouths drawn, terrified. I mustered up another smile, hoping they would know I was okay. Nathan looked relieved but Silas hesitated, his dark eyes narrowing, unsure.
“Let’s get inside and sit down,” Dr. Green said somewhere behind Silas. “We should talk.”
“I think we need to let her sleep,” North said next to me. “She needs to recover.”
“We need to figure out our next move,” Mr. Blackbourne’s smooth vocals cut through and I shivered with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe he was there, too.
North squared off his shoulders. “What we’re doing is getting her the hell out of there,” he said.
I squeezed at his hand. His eyes glided to mine. “Inside,” I whispered. “I want to talk.”
He smirked at me. “Baby, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you can’t talk.”
I rolled my eyes. “Never stopped me before,” I croaked out.
He and Kota, who must have been the only ones who could have heard me, started chuckling. Silas finally relaxed his shoulders. He and Nathan stepped out of the way. Behind them stood Dr. Green, with Luke, Gabriel, Victor and Mr. Blackbourne next to him. Nine concerned eyes fell on my face and I shivered under the weight of their pity. Heat clung to my cheeks but I was feeling too miserable to protest.
It took a little bit of stretching and a few steps assisted by Kota before I was able to break the stiffness from my limbs. The entire lower half of my body felt numb. I staggered toward the house. Mr. Blackbourne held the sliding door open for me.
I stood in the living room until everyone collected inside. Kota motioned to the large leather chair but I shook my head. There was a large wooden coffee table on the rug in the middle of the room. I slid onto my knees to the rug and sat with my butt on my heels. I felt the bandages against my ankles wrinkle and a pain through my legs. My tailbone radiated equal agony through my lower spine. It was dulled, more like a throbbing ache that eased in and settled into my bones. I couldn’t sit on my butt, I knew, not right now. The ankle was bad enough but tolerable. I folded my hands into my lap and I patiently waited, my eyes challenging anyone to tell me to do otherwise.
The others took positions around the table. Silas, Luke and North sat on the couch. Victor fell into the armchair. The fire was gone from his eyes. I only caught glistening and it looked terrible on him. Kota and Gabriel took up positions next to me on the floor. Gabriel chewed on a thumbnail, as if he wasn’t sure if he should be near me or not.
Mr. Blackbourne stood by the coffee table, his arms crossed against his chest and looking displeased. Nathan disappeared for a moment but came back with a bottle of water to hand to me.
Dr. Green plopped down on top of the coffee table in front of me. He scooped out a flashlight from his pocket.
“Let me check your throat,” he said. He gently placed a thumb on my chin to get me to open up. He shifted the flashlight to let the light glare into my throat. The warmth of the light was surprisingly soothing on my esophagus. I pressed my tongue down in my mouth so he could see better.
“Was it vinegar again?” Kota asked next to me.
I felt I couldn’t talk to answer with my mouth open, but I squeezed his hand and nodded.
Dr. Green let go of me and sat back, swinging his eyes to Kota. “This happened before?”
“Her mother made her drink vinegar and lemon juice a couple weeks ago. It burned her throat for a few days so she couldn’t talk.”
“That’s not all,” North said, in a quiet tone. I fired off looks at him but he ignored me completely. “She was forced to kneel in rice on the hard floor for a few hours a couple of weeks ago, too.”
“And she sat in that stool before,” Luke said. “That was several hours, too. Not in the tub though, just in the kitchen. Just the once.”
North’s face flashed with surprise and he frowned. “That we know of...” He gazed over at me.
There was a stunned silence that fell between them all as they registered the truth. I wanted to tell them that outside of the vinegar and being tied in the bathtub, that the rice and the stool sitting was actually pretty easy. I could handle that. Weren’t they ever punished for doing bad things? Didn’t parents spank their kids? Somehow I felt that it wasn’t the right response. My face flared with heat. I didn’t know what normal was.
Dr. Green pressed a palm to his eye. “Why didn’t you tell us what she was going through?”
“We were working on it,” Kota said. “I didn’t know how bad things had gotten. And I didn’t want to overwhelm her with… with us.”
Dr. Green’s head flexed back. “Kota,” he said. “This is abuse. You shouldn’t have kept this to yourself.”
“She wasn’t fully with us when the vinegar thing happened,” Kota insisted. “And she was around us so often these past couple of weeks, I didn’t realize she was…”
“You know better than that,” Mr. Blackbourne hovered over Dr. Green’s shoulder. His steel eyes narrowed. “Abuse doesn’t disappear overnight.”
“I didn’t know about the rice or the other parts,” Kota said.
“That’s not what I mean. You didn’t tell us the full truth about what was going on. You brought her to us knowing her home life and kept it from us. We might have prevented this if you had told us earlier. Now we’re left without a choice.”
I swallowed. They were talking in circles around me. “It’s my choice,” I said in a whisper.
Mr. Blackbourne twisted his head to gaze down at me. “What are you saying?”
I closed my eyes, swallowing hard again. I knew they didn’t want to hear this but I knew I had to say it. “I have to go back.”
“No,” Gabriel said. He grabbed my hand. He slid closer on his knees near me. His crystal eyes glossed over with tears. “You’re not fucking going back there. I’ll kidnap you myself and take you home with me.”
There was a round of loud talking and it was a mess. I didn’t understand what anyone was saying. I couldn’t attempt to talk over them. I looked desperately at Kota. He leaned in, holding his head close.
I angled until my lips brushed his ear as I whispered. “I have to go back.”
Kota shook his head, pulling away to narrow his eyes at me. “No,” he commanded. “You can’t. Sang, you were in there for hours. Do you even remember what happened?”
I nodded. Of course I did. I remembered everything. I knew the truth. If I disappeared, there was a lot more to lose than if I went back now.
The others were arguing but it was a blur of noise. Gabriel squeezed at my hand, clinging to me. Maybe he would listen.
I leaned into him. “My mother is ill,” I said. “She didn’t eat. With the medication she takes, she’s probably making herself super sick again.”
“She just tied you to a stool and left you to die,” Gabriel said. “You want to go back and save her?”
I felt my body shaking as I forced the words out. “She’s my mother.” That meant something, didn’t it? Wasn’t I supposed watch over her?
He reeled his head back as if I’d slapped him. His hand squeezed mine again. I clutched it back, begging silently that he might understand. “We can’t,” he said, t
hough softer.
“My mother probably doesn’t even remember what she did. I can slip back in.”
Dr. Green’s gentle eyes washed over my face. He pressed his palms to my cheeks. “Sweetheart,” he soothed. “Do you understand what you’re asking? If you go back, she could do it again. She might do worse. We might not make it next time.”
“We will make it,” Kota said. “We’ll be right there. I’m not leaving her again. There won’t be a next time.”
“This isn’t happening,” Mr. Blackbourne said. He started pacing the floor, his hands on his hips. His glasses glinted against the light as he turned back to look down at me. “No, I refuse. I can’t allow it. She can’t stay in that house.”
He didn’t understand. I needed to go back before she called the cops and they were arrested. I couldn’t ask them to take me in. Where would I go? “What about Marie? What happens to her if I leave?” I asked. “What about my dad? Would he be arrested? He didn’t know.” I hunched my shoulders, swallowing hard, trying to suppress a cough.
“If he doesn’t know, it’s neglect,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “You can’t stay in a house with an abusive mother. Marie can’t, either. Your father made his choice. You didn’t have one.”
“I have one now. Where else am I going to go? I have to go back.”
Anguished glances were exchanged above my head.
Mr. Blackbourne knelt nearby, his fingertips brushed my arm. The gentle touch forced me to look in his direction. His steel eyes focused on mine. “Miss Sorenson,” he said in a quiet voice. “Listen to me. You can’t go back. We can’t keep you safe there.”
“She needs help,” I whispered. There was nothing they could say that would convince me otherwise. Where else would I go? Kota was being brave but he couldn’t take me in. How would any of them explain it to their parents? How could I explain everything to them without a voice?
I turned to Gabriel, looking for help. He bent his head over, pressing his ear to my lips. He spoke for me. “If she’s not there, her mother may call the police to find her. If the police find out what happened, she’ll end up under control of the state.”
Kota frowned. He swung a distressed glance at the others.
“We could...” Dr. Green started. He looked over at Mr. Blackbourne intently. A silent communication using expressions passed over my head faster than I could keep up with.
Mr. Blackbourne shook his head. “No approval. It’s not a shelter.”
“Application?” Dr. Green.
Again Mr. Blackbourne shook his head. “Trial time. We don’t even know if she qualifies.”
“We could keep an eye on her until then. Special circumstances? Expedited? They can’t refuse us.”
“No,” Kota said. “I don’t want her there.”
“What?” I asked. I was having trouble figuring out this conversation. Did I miss something? Maybe I did need to sleep.
They all ignored me and concentrated on Kota.
Kota hooks his arms under my thighs and around my back, lifting me off of the floor and pulling me into his lap. “No, she’s not going there,” he said. He crossed his legs on the ground and drew me in close to him. His arms encircled my waist. His cheek touched my temple as he talked over my head. “She’s right. She has to go back.”
“Fucking hell no!” North shouted louder than the others but each of them expressed equal displeasure, all except Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green, who only looked curiously at Kota.
“Sang goes back,” Kota said in a louder voice. “But not alone. We’re going to set security up in her house. We’ll monitor her. We’ll be close by. Anything she needs, we’ll be there for her.” I felt his chest rising as he inhaled. The sound of his voice reverberated through me. “We’re not prepared to take her out of her house right now. She’s right. If her mother calls the police for her, we’re not equipped for it alone.”
“We can handle this,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “We’ve done it before.”
“We aren’t prepared right now, not without asking a favor. Her mother will call the police today if she figures out she’s gone. I’m surprised she hasn’t done so yet. What are the police going to do? They’ll arrest her mom and her dad and they’ll send her and Marie to live in a foster home.”
“We can’t get the police involved,” Mr. Blackbourne said.
Kota nodded. “It’s too volatile. We’ll get her mom treatment. We’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. We need a better plan than just kidnapping her.”
“It won’t be kidnapping,” Dr. Green said. “You’re underestimating us. If we just call…”
“Not that.” He zeroed in on Mr. Blackbourne. “She is never going to the Academy. I don’t want them knowing any more about her. We’re going to do it without their help.”
My eyes popped open. Dr. Green and Mr. Blackbourne were going to send me to the Academy? How? I didn’t even know it was a possibility.
Why would Kota refuse to let me? And why wouldn’t he let the Academy help? Wasn’t he part of the Academy, too?
The silence in the room suppressed me until I shivered hard against Kota.
“None of you understand what you’re doing,” Mr. Blackbourne said.
“I don’t care,” Gabriel said. “Kota’s right. We need a little more time. I’ll stay with her. Whatever she needs.”
“I’ll do it,” Nathan said.
The others chorused similarly.
Dr. Green nodded. “I will, too. Maybe Kota is right. We need to keep her close. If we involve the Academy, she’ll be too exposed and it is far too soon for her. We need a little time, but I bet we could do it on our own.” His green eyes flickered at me before he turned to Mr. Blackbourne. “And I can’t believe for one second you’d tell us no.”
Mr. Blackbourne shifted on his feet, frowning.
“What’s the matter, Mr. Blackbourne?” North asked. “Don’t think we can keep up with one little girl?”
Mr. Blackbourne adjusted his glasses higher with a forefinger. His eyes closed as he talked. “Fine. If that’s what Kota wants, if it’s what Miss Sorenson wants, if everyone is sure, we’ll do it.” He opened his eyes again and pointed a finger at all of them. “But I want your word you’ll never take advantage of her, given her situation.”
“Who the hell do you think we are?” Victor barked at him. The fire roared to life in his eyes again. “You think we’d ever...”
“I mean it,” Mr. Blackbourne snapped back at him. “If I hear one word from her that you have touched her or so much as looked at her in a way she didn’t want, any complaint, any rumor, I’ll pull you all out of this, and I wouldn’t hesitate to drop you from the Academy.”
The threat hung in the air. Everyone drew quiet under the weight of what he was suggesting.
I couldn’t believe for a moment any of them would hurt me or do anything bad to me. They were my friends. Kota, Gabriel... all of them. I understood Mr. Blackbourne. I knew he was just voicing the warning to make sure he was heard more than he feared any of them doing it. The suggestion was insulting, but the command had been spoken so everyone would think twice over every possible action. No one complained.
Mr. Blackbourne turned back to Kota. “And I’m telling you, Mr. Lee,” he pointed at this face. “If this happens again, we’re calling in the Academy. I won’t allow anything like this to continue. Not with us.”
Kota’s arms squeezed around me, his hands spreading over my stomach and waist as he glared back at Mr. Blackbourne over my head. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t fully understand what was going on, but I did know they were granting my request. In what way they were going to allow it, I wasn’t sure.
“That’s enough for now, I think,” Dr. Green said. He waved a hand in the air. “Let me examine her and we’ll clean her up. We’ll eat and we’ll figure out what our next step is.”
Inner Sanctum
Two hours later, I was wearing the shorts and blouse I had on the day before, clean and fresh
from Nathan’s laundry room. I stood in my parents’ driveway, with Nathan holding my left hand, Luke holding my right hand. North pulled his black Jeep into the drive, bringing Victor, Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green. The others were close behind them on foot.
Our orders from Mr. Blackbourne were to check to see if my mother was still sleeping and to stabilize her. If she tried to come after me again, the boys would pull me out of there.
I padded over in my bare feet, my bandages in place. My fingers tingled between the knuckles of both Nathan and Luke. With their palms pressed to mine, it forced back my trembling. I didn’t quite know what to expect. I was bringing them into my world. This was way further than I ever expected them to be. Despite what we’d already been through together, was I ready for this?
We walked in to the garage together. At the steps, I let go of them both so I could open the door.
Once I cracked open the door, I stuck my head in and waited. The house was quiet. I looked back at the guys, stepped inside and out of the way.
My heart refused to dip lower than my throat as Nathan and Luke entered. Both of them scanned the room. Luke had been there before. Nathan did a second and third glance at the near barren family room, with a single, barely touched couch and not much else. Like my bedroom, the house had just enough and not a piece more.
While they both had been inside before, it was strange to me to have them walking in the side door. I felt like at any moment my mother might come around the corner and find them.
I knew if that happened, they were supposed to pull me out of the house. I’d been told repeatedly by all of them what was expected of me. If they couldn’t ensure my safety inside the house, I wouldn’t be allowed to stay.
I led the way through the kitchen and to the hallway on the other side. I stepped quietly in places where I knew the house wouldn’t creak. When I turned to the wall to slide over and peek inside my mom’s room, I smelled Luke’s vanilla scent and felt his warmth. He was so close that his arm warmed mine. When I looked back, Nathan stationed himself at the other end of the hall, closer to the kitchen, standing by and ready to charge in or fetch the others as needed.