I willed myself to keep moving. I was scared. I was worried my appearance would alert my mother and she’d come after me again. I was worried for the guys, who would be at risk if they were exposed. I was stuck between these two worlds and unsure how to break them apart again.
Did I want to?
I sucked in a deep breath and held it. I tilted away from the wall, so I could peek inside my mother’s room.
My mother was in her bed, in a deep sleep. She was snoring loudly this time, too. I moved quickly, pushing the door back to bump against the wall to see if she woke up. No response.
I stepped into view, shuffling forward along the beige carpet toward her bed.
She wasn’t sweating any more. There was a pill bottle spilled over on the comforter. I recognized the morphine pills. The heavy curtains were drawn tight.
She’d blocked herself from the world she imagined was cruel and out to get her. How strange I felt about it now. Despite her efforts that she thought would keep me safe from rape and being murdered, I was now standing over her with a team determined to keep me safe from her crazy punishments. She feared people entering her sanctuary, and instead of warding people away, she drew Kota and the others in as they tried to protect me.
It felt wrong, even as I wished for my friends to remain with me more than anything. I had made excuses for her behavior in the past for punishments and lectures. Her illness made her confused and unable to control herself. My mother didn’t want anyone in her world. It felt wrong because she was sick, and her only request was to keep everyone out. Your family should come before friends or anyone else. You should always protect them. Why were principles such as loyalty and blood bonds such cruel, twisted things?
Luke stepped into the room. He crossed as quietly as I had, using spots I had picked out as my path. His lean, strong body moved with care and he hovered over my mother, his head tilted as he frowned. His blond hair fell in the way of his dark eyes. If my mother only knew, she would die right then. Despite how kind and affectionate Luke could be, she would only see a stranger, one of the scary monsters she feared.
Luke reached into his back pocket, pulling a tiny brown bottle out. He uncorked the top, and held it out toward my mother’s mouth and nose. My mother breathed in deeply as she slept. A moment later, the snoring softened, and her head tilted to the side.
“This should keep her out for a couple of hours,” Luke said quietly. He corked the bottle again and slipped it into his pocket.
“Where did you get that?” I whispered. I swallowed, knowing my voice was probably too soft for him to hear anyway. “Do you carry things like that all the time?”
He looked up at me, flashing a smile, his brown eyes catching a spark from the light from the windows. “Don’t ask those questions.”
I sighed, twisting my mouth. By saying he couldn’t tell me, he just answered both of my questions. Academy secrets.
Nathan popped his head in. His mouth opened like he wanted to say something but he caught on my mother sleeping in the bed. His blue eyes darkened. “It’s hard to believe that’s the same person who...”
“I know,” Luke said. “It doesn’t seem possible.”
My eyes hunted out Luke’s. I wanted to get this over with.
He nodded to me. “Let’s get the others.”
Moments later, Dr. Green sat on the edge of my mother’s bed, checking her pulse, listening to her breathing with a stethoscope and taking other vitals. Mr. Blackbourne sorted through the collection of pill bottles on her nightstand.
“There’s more in her drawer,” I whispered to them, sitting on the other side of the bed. I scooped up the spilled pills across the blanket and dropped them back into the open container. The boys were in the hallway, looking in on us and waiting for orders.
Mr. Blackbourne held out his phone, flashing a picture of the labels. “There’s at least five different doctors. Some of these prescriptions are repeats. She’s taking them irregularly and getting double the dose of the narcotics if these refill dates are right. Duplicates.”
“I’ll call their offices,” Dr. Green said. “I’ll get copies of her medical history faxed over.” He sighed, pulling himself away from my mother to sit up and rubbing a finger at his temple. “I’ll need to know more before making a decision. I need to get an IV in her, though. Sang’s right, she’s desperately dehydrated. I might have to order an ambulance. That’ll be complicated to do without the Academy.”
Mr. Blackbourne nodded. He handed the pill bottles over to Dr. Green. “Do your best to avoid it. Collect what you need.” He crossed the room, curling his fingers at me so I’d follow. I crawled off the bed, feeling unsure about leaving my mother alone with Dr. Green. What if she woke up and had a strange person so close to her?
Out in the hallway again, Mr. Blackbourne closed the door, leaving Dr. Green alone with my mother. He turned to us. “Okay, Luke, I want a map of this house, every exit point, every nook covered. Silas and North, go fix that bathroom upstairs. When Dr. Green is done, Nathan and Victor, I want you to get in there and look for any more ropes. Anything that can be used as a restraint, I want it gone.” He focused on me. “Show me your room.”
I blushed but turned at his command, guiding the way to the stairs. The others followed behind me, with Victor and Nathan staying behind for Dr. Green.
Silas pointed out to North the upstairs bathroom door. The frame of the door was split. They collected near it, scanning the damage.
North’s face contorted, eyes going to the floor where the stool still remained, fractured into pieces. His fists clenched.
Silas touched his forearm quickly, bringing him back to the job they were told to do.
Marie’s door was open and I could see the usual mess in her room. I knew she was probably still over at Danielle’s. I hoped she wouldn’t pop over right now. I didn’t want her to know the guys were here. I didn’t want her to know what happened.
At my own bedroom door, I twisted the handle to open it and stepped in.
I stopped short, mortified by the mess. The window was open, probably where Nathan got in when he came to look for me. The bookshelf was smashed down across the carpet. The books were scattered across the floor and torn. My trunk was open, the contents completely dumped out. My school books were ripped through, the notebooks and papers spilled out. The contents from the closet were emptied across the carpet. The sheets were pulled from the bed. The mattress was slumped over, half hanging on the floor.
Mr. Blackbourne materialized next to me, frowning. Gabriel slipped up beside me on the other side. He pressed his palm to mine, his fingers covering mine.
Kota tiptoed around the mess, his eyes seeking out answers to silent questions.
Mr. Blackbourne studied the room. “Was it like this before?”
I shook my head. “I had my school books on the bed but...” My whispering stopped. My voice wasn’t going to let me explain.
Victor emerged from the hallway looking curious. He remained quiet, his fire eyes moving over the contents of the room.
“She was looking for something,” Kota said. He knelt, picking up the edge of the bookshelf. Mr. Blackbourne crouched with him and helped pick up the bookshelf, putting it back against the wall. Kota looked over at me. “What would she want?”
I shook my head, blushing. I had no idea. I looked at Gabriel. He leaned his head in and I whispered. He spoke for me. “She said her mom found the notes from the boys at school and the detention slip when she flipped out. But the room was intact mostly then. She must have come back looking for more.”
“If she found more,” Mr. Blackbourne said, “this might have been much worse.”
North appeared in the doorway. His eyes, like the others, searching the destroyed room. He held up the pink cell phone. The face was cracked and blank. “It was in the tub,” he said. “I don’t think it’s working.”
I leaned in to whisper to Gabriel. “She says she’s sorry, Victor.” Gabriel smirked, chopping me
on the head. “Shut up.”
Victor took the phone from North and pocketed it. “I’ll get her another one.” He flashed me a look and I tried shaking my head but he pointed a lean finger in my direction. “Don’t even start with me.”
North disappeared again. I moved away to start sorting out the mess near the trunk. Gabriel went through my closet. Mr. Blackbourne and Kota stuffed books onto the shelves. Victor hung back near the door, watching.
Mr. Blackbourne picked up the stereo, putting it back on the top of the bookshelf. He turned it on, hitting play on the CD player. My guess was he wanted to test it to see if it still worked. A piano piece started. He blinked at it, tilting his head as he listened.
“What song is that?” Victor asked. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was leaning against the wall.
I looked at him, not sure if he could hear me across the room. He frowned when he realized it and came forward, kneeling next to me. I leaned to him, hanging on to his arm as I did to whisper in his ear. “Mysterious by Yuko Ohigashi.”
“Who?” Mr. Blackbourne asked him.
Victor repeated the name. “I don’t recognize it.” I tugged on his arm so he’d lean in again and I could whisper. He repeated out loud this time. “It’s one of her favorites.”
He reached out to me, brushing a finger across my cheek. He stood up, moving to the door and disappearing.
I went back to folding the old clothes and putting them back into the trunk. Mr. Blackbourne collected my school books. Kota started organizing the books on the shelves by author and title name. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he didn’t have to. Some of the books were torn. He collected the pages across the floor, finding where the missing pages went and tucked them neatly inside. He stacked the torn ones on the floor beside him.
He pulled out one that didn’t have a title, my journal, and absentmindedly thumbed it open, looking at the pages. His eyebrows shot up and he turned to me. “Sang? What’s this?”
Did he expect me to answer? Frustrated that they kept forgetting, I used sign language to quickly spell out, “Journal.” If Luke knew it, the others probably did, too. They were smart Academy guys.
Gabriel turned when I was making the last two letters. “Did she just flip you off?”
Kota laughed. “No. She’s using sign language. She spelled out journal.” He looked back at me. “What language is this?”
I spelled again. It frustrated me because it felt like I was taking forever to communicate something that would have taken a second to say out loud. My sign language skills were rusty.
He repeated what I spelled for him, “Korean lettering, and English words.”
“Let me see that.” Mr. Blackbourne held his hand out to Kota.
I sighed, exasperated. I shot a look at Gabriel. He completely understood. “You can’t go reading her journal,” he said. “That’s private chick stuff.”
“I can’t read it,” Mr. Blackbourne said. He took the book from Kota and flipped through the pages, checking it. “Is there a key to this puzzle?” he asked.
Kota watched as I signed “She doesn’t need one.” He smiled, catching on. He slid a finger up to the bridge of his glasses, pressing to his nose. “I get it. She used Korean lettering so she wouldn’t need a key. If she ever forgot, she could just check a book to translate.” I signed to him again and he relayed the message. “So her family couldn’t read it.”
Mr. Blackbourne checked the floor, found a pencil and brought it and the journal to me. “I want to see you write in it.”
I lifted an eyebrow. Why?
“Write: The five boxing wizards jump quickly.”
I twisted my lips, confused that he picked such an awkward sentence. I opened to a random blank page, scratching in the lines and circles. When I was done, I passed it to him.
“You’ve done this for a while,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “You did it too fast to be a new trick.” He checked my work.
“Sang’s full of little secrets,” Gabriel said.
“Tell me about it,” Kota beamed at me. “When were you going to tell me about the sign language?”
I shrugged.
“One of these days,” Mr. Blackbourne said as he snapped the journal shut and passed it back to Kota, “Miss Sorenson, you and I are going to have a conversation to catch up on what you can actually do. You are surprisingly useful.”
Kota shot him a look but Mr. Blackbourne turned away, ignoring it.
I was finishing up the trunk and closing the lid when Silas poked his head in.
“Sang, where does your dad keep his tools? Are there any spare wood scraps?”
I blew out a sigh, spilling onto the carpet on my back and rolling my eyes. I looked up at him from my upside down position, smirking. Was everyone going to forget I couldn’t talk?
He laughed, shaking his head. “Can you please show me?”
I looked over at Kota, wordlessly asking him if he needed me.
“Go help,” he said.
“Kota,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “Grab the other end of her bed, will you?” He half bent over, his tie swinging free from his blazer as he pushed my bed away from the wall.
I got up, confused at what they were doing, but Silas grabbed for my hand to tug me out of the room. His large, strong hand enveloped mine and I let him guide me down the hallway. I glanced into the bathroom on our way. North was pulling the loose bit of frame out of the door with a pocket knife. The stool was gone. The shower behind him was in pieces, the plumbing pulled from the wall and spread on the floor. Did Silas do that?
I followed Silas down the back stairs and out into the garage. I lead the way across the drive to the shed in the back, opening the side door and stepping out of the way so Silas could enter.
I was hitting the switch as Silas shut the door behind us. We were cast into darkness. The old fluorescent lights above our heads crackled but needed time to heat up.
My skin tingled and my heart thundered. I was alone with Silas.
Silas’s hands found me in the dark. He hugged me close, tightly enough that my breath escaped my lungs. I froze, too stunned to move. His chin dropped to the top of my head, and the breath from his nose mixed into my hair.
With trembling fingers, I slipped my arms around his neck to hug him back. Was this what he needed?
His right arm went under my butt to hold me up and his other holding at my back to press me to him. He scooped me up off the floor. My feet dangled on either side of his legs.
I buried my face into his shoulder, too breathless and consumed by his embrace. It was too close and everything I wanted right then. How did he know?
“Aggele mou,” he whispered, and he moved his face until his cheek was next to mine. “Sang, don’t ever do that to me again. Don’t you ever fucking wait...” His breath was hot against my ear.
I couldn’t speak. Tears stung my eyes. I hadn’t realized until that moment that Silas had been holding back something from everyone, waiting until we were alone to tell me this. I swallowed heavily, tightening my arms around his neck. My fingers slipped into his hair, feeling the smooth black locks. I felt so bad. I’d scared him.
“Don’t you ever wait to call me,” he said. “I don’t care if you stubbed your toe or you’re just lonely. You don’t even have to wait until then. You call, I’ll be here.” He sighed, pressing his lips close to my ear and whispered. “If it were up to me, you wouldn’t be here at all. I’d take you home with me now.”
“Silas,” I croaked out a whisper. My mind whirled and I sucked back a sob. I didn’t want to cry. If I cried now, I wouldn’t be able to hold it in any more. Silas’s hug felt good but I was trying my best to be brave around the guys and not show how scared I was. Monsters. Demons. All the scary things my dreams held and my mother whispered to me over the years. I could handle anything she threw me into. I couldn’t handle this. I couldn’t see Silas so freaked out.
Silas shuddered against me. His large hand smoothed across my back. “Whe
n you called my name on the phone, I knew. Your voice squeaked but I heard you. The line cut out and I couldn’t get here fast enough. I came as quick as I could. Kota and the others were across town and couldn’t get back sooner. I called Nathan. I stayed on the line with him when I couldn’t get back in touch with you. I knew something was wrong. When he couldn’t find you, I thought maybe we were too late.” He growled softly in my ear. “Aggele mou, Sang. We were almost too late.”
“Silas,” I whispered. “You came for me. I’m here. It’s okay.”
He pulled back enough until he could press his forehead to mine. The light finished warming and fluttered to life. I was caught up in those soft brown eyes of his, dark and soothing, glistening. “Promise me,” he demanded. “Say it.”
“I won’t wait,” I whispered. I swallowed hard. “Silas, I promise. I’ll call.”
He grunted, pulled me in close against him once again and sighed into my shoulder. “I hate this,” he said. “I don’t want you here with them.”
Where else did I have to go? I couldn’t go home with him or anyone else. I couldn’t join the Academy, even if I’d wanted and even if Kota said it was fine. My parents wouldn’t allow it. The only way to leave would be to call the cops but the results wouldn’t be what any of us wanted. “It’s not for forever,” I whispered. “If I ran away with you, they’d come after me. Won’t everyone else get into trouble?”
He grunted again and lowered me to the ground, keeping a hand on me to make sure I was stable. He pulled away to rub at his face. “Fine. Let’s fix your damn shower.”
“Was it broken?” I asked. I turned from him, my head buzzing after all of the emotions. I sucked in some air and looked for the toolbox on the shelves.
“I felt like breaking it,” he said. His eyes moved to the collection of boxes that took up the majority of the floor in the garage. It was a mess and I was embarrassed by it but he didn’t seem put off. “So I just took it apart. I’m going to put a timer on it, though. If she even attempts to do it again, it’ll only be on for a half hour before it cuts off. You can flip it off and turn it back on again but it’ll stop it from being run for hours on end like that.”