CHAPTER 31
For What It's Worth
Days had turned into weeks and my seventeenth birthday was fast approaching. I knew that Ty and Mara were planning something, but they wouldn't tell me what it was. I couldn't even get Karen to give me a hint.
A week before the big day, I went to work at the nursery as usual. However, when I entered the retail building, Gabe was there instead of Michael.
"Good morning, Gabe. Where's Michael? Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine, Essie. Good mornin' to you."
"Why isn't Michael here?"
"He should be here in just a..."
"Hey, Essie," Michael called out as he bounded through the door. "I'm sorry I wasn't here before you, but I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise? For what?"
"Come with me."
I followed him to his truck. He opened the passenger door and motioned for me to get in.
"What's going on? Where are we going?"
"I told you it's a surprise."
"What about work?"
"Don't worry about that. We're covered."
I had no idea what to make of this, so I just enjoyed the country music that was playing as we drove. A couple of minutes later, we were at Michael's house.
"Why are we at your house? Did you forget something?"
He ignored my questions and hopped out, using his super speed to open my door before my hand had even reached for the handle.
I giggled. "I really love that."
"I really love... I mean... Come on," he blushed as he reached for my hands to help me down.
"This way," he guided, keeping hold of my right hand as we made our way around the house to the pasture in the back. In the light of day, I could now see the horses that I had only barely made out the night I had been here for dinner. They were magnificent.
"Are we going riding?" I asked, full of excitement.
"That wasn't the plan, but I'd be happy to take you riding later on if you'd like."
"I'd like," I said with a big smile.
As we walked through the pasture, I watched the late morning mist float upward toward the sun which, through the lens of my sunglasses, looked like a big, blurry ball surrounded by a rainbow halo. This is how I had imagined heaven would look.
We kept walking to the left, toward the large trees that served as a wall preventing the horses' escape in that direction. As we got closer, I noticed an arbor that was all but hidden amidst the branches and vines woven through the latticework. A tall, thin wrought iron gate guarded whatever was waiting on the other side. Michael lifted the latch and pulled on the handle. It groaned and creaked as though it hadn't been opened in a very long time.
"After you."
I walked through the arbor and was astonished. This was the English garden from the dream I had had the night I learned we were moving to Eden. In the middle of the emerald grass laid the red and white checkered blanket on which sat the woven wooden picnic basket.
"How is this possible?"
"What do you mean?"
"I dreamt about this place, and you, before we moved from Bradford. I remember waking up feeling as though the dream was real, it was so vivid. That's why I was so startled when I first saw you at the nursery. But you knew that I recognized you. You said that the day you and Ty had the altercation at my house. How did you know that, Michael? How did I dream of this place?"
"Let's go sit down," he urged.
I stood there for a long moment, still as a statue, remembering the ancient-looking trees on the outskirts of the large, rectangular area that I was now standing in. Lush plants and exotic-looking flowers were formally placed in several groupings and I could see two perfectly manicured hedges at one end of the garden that formed parenthesis around a small pond with a stone bridge crossing it. A couple of wooden benches were nestled in close to the hedges. There was so much more to it than what was revealed in my dream. This hidden enclave stood in stark contrast to the casual cowboy feel of the Powers' home.
"Come on, Essie. Let's go sit down," he repeated.
I followed him this time but said nothing. We sat on the blanket. It was a beautiful sunny day and I was freaking out just a little bit. I had never experienced an extended d?j? vu before; surely, that's what this was. I had no special abilities, no psychic powers, although I remembered Mr. Joshua quoting some scripture about visions and dreams that he thought applied to me. When I finally looked at Michael, as if on cue, a gentle breeze blew just slightly enough to keep my hair out of my face. I shook my head vigorously, trying to make sense of this place, this picnic, this day.
"Are you okay, Essie?" he asked after giving me a couple of minutes.
"Uh, huh. What's in the basket?" I asked slowly.
Before he had a chance to open it, I stopped him, placing my hand on his, enjoying the now common buzz that happened every time we touched. "Wait. Let me guess. You packed a lunch consisting of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, salt and vinegar potato chips, diet root beer and malted milk balls."
He smiled his perfectly imperfect smile.
"I'm right, aren't I?"
He nodded with raised eyebrows, still smiling, an encouraging look taking over his face.
"What? Please tell me what's happening," I implored.
He turned his hand over and squeezed my hand, the one that I had placed on his, then opened the picnic basket, taking out two neatly wrapped sandwiches. He unfolded the paper around one of the sandwiches and handed it to me, along with a red linen napkin. He retrieved two glass mugs and poured the root beer, setting them between us. He reached into the basket a third time and found the bag of salt and vinegar chips and a red bowl. He opened the bag and poured its contents into the bowl and leaned over to set it right next to me.
I looked at my sandwich, cut in half diagonally, peanut butter and jelly oozing out from between two pieces of wheat bread, crust missing. I took a bite and chewed slowly, looking at Michael, waiting for an explanation. I was on my third bite when he started talking.
"We haven't really had a chance to talk since that day at your house and I'm sorry for that. I'm sure that was difficult for you to hear, especially in front of Ty. I brought you here for two reasons. First, to celebrate your birthday. I assumed that Ty had planned something for the sixth, and I didn't want the day to pass without being able to wish you a happy birthday, just the two of us, without time constraints. So, happy birthday, Essie. We can hang out here until the nursery closes, or longer, if you want, and you'll still get paid for the day. That's your present from daddy."
He raised his glass of root beer and waited for me to raise mine. "To your seventeenth birthday. May all your dreams come true."
I grinned wryly at his well-chosen words, then we clinked our glasses and I thanked him. I was so happy that we were spending the day together, despite knowing how angry Ty would be when he learned of the deception. But I chose to put that thought out of my mind and enjoy the time with Michael.
"Second, I wanted to explain in detail what I meant when I said that you were meant for me. So, here goes." He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "As angels, our soulmates are determined before we're able to take human form. We are born at a specific time, in a specific location, to ensure the optimal circumstances for meeting and falling in love."
I had to interrupt. "Does it always happen the way you plan?"
"Not always. Humans have free will and sometimes they act against what their heart tells them."
"Is that what you think I'm doing?"
"Yes. But let's not discuss that right now. You were given that dream, or more accurately, that vision, to show you how perfect we are for each other. You felt that it was real because it is real, Essie. I'm proving to you, by bringing you here, that what I'm saying is true. It normally wouldn't be allowed, but an exception has been made because Ty chose to let you in on his secret identity. I don't know why he did it, unless he somehow knows that you will be instrumental in the final battle."
&n
bsp; "Ty mentioned a final battle when I told him that I had confided in Jane, but he didn't give me any details. Mr. Joshua claims ignorance as well. And, come to think of it, I didn't learn much in the War Room either. Do you know any details?"
"We win. How's that for a detail? But there will be a lot of death and destruction before that because the demons, and all those on their side, will fight till the end."
"How am I instrumental?"
"I don't know that exactly. But even if I did, I'm not allowed to mess with your free will and telling you something that could affect your decisions in the future would do that. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, Mr. Joshua told me the same thing. But it seems to me that I might be making decisions without having all the facts."
"You've been given all the facts you've needed to this point, Essie. And, to your credit, you figured most of it out without our help. You have a gift, an amazing ability to find truth. Listen to the spirit inside of you. You've believed Ty's distorted biblical excerpts; believe this: 'Do not quench the Spirit. Do not scoff at prophecies, but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil'. That's from 1Thessalonians. You can't pick and choose what you want to believe from the Bible. If some of it's a lie, then it's all a lie. As a journalist, you wouldn't trust a source who lied about some of the details of a story, would you?"
I shook my head.
"It's the same thing, Essie, only much more important." He studied my face for a few seconds and continued. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. This day was meant to be a celebration. I'll change the subject."
"It's okay, I'll change the subject. Guess what?" I asked cheerfully without waiting for an answer. "A few weeks ago, I investigated the Ataroth in the woods behind my house. It was awesome, Michael. First, I realized that my senses were improved, then I found that I could jump high and do flips and run fast. It was truly amazing." I could feel my countenance shift from worried to gleeful as I relived the adventure in my mind.
My revelation made Michael smile. "I'm glad you got to experience that. You only went once?"
"Yes. I've been meaning to go back, but I've been busy."
I paused, assuming he'd have a few more questions. I was wrong.
"Essie," he began seriously, waiting for me to look at him. "The moment I saw you, my heart kindled as I felt the sting of your name being etched on it. There will never be anyone for me but you. Your name is literally written on my heart."
His profession came out of left field, stunning me. I was overwhelmed. Tears streamed down my face and dropped onto the half of the sandwich I was still holding. Michael reached across the space between us and wiped the tears with the back of his fingers.
"I didn't mean to make you cry."
I forced a half smile. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Just believe."
I closed my eyes and listened to my heart screaming that he was the one. I could easily imagine myself saying "I love you" to Michael. Being with him was as effortless as breathing. But it was too late. When the day was over and I had to leave this idyllic setting, Ty would be waiting for me. He had declared his love first and, honestly, I had come to enjoy the power and influence that was a part of that relationship package. "Do not quench the Spirit" I heard in my head. I fell back on to the blanket, weary from the endless battle within.
I could hear Michael get up, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt his large body lay down next to mine, heard the grass crunch beneath his weight. I didn't want to open my eyes and look at him for fear of more traitorous tears forcing themselves through tiny cracks in the wall that I had so carefully built. Too late. I could feel him staring at me through closed lids and the tears made their sneaky escape and my thoughts began to focus on his presence so close to me. One of his fingers traced the tears' path into my hair and then his huge hand was on my cheek. I turned my head, trapping his hand between my cheek and the blanket, and opened my eyes. He was lying on his stomach, propped up on his free elbow. I stared at him for several heartbeats, envisioning my name in a beautiful script on his heart.
Unable to control myself, I brought my face to his and kissed him. I had no idea what had come over me.
Kissing Michael was so different from kissing Ty. Ty's kisses were exciting, maybe because I had never kissed anyone before, or maybe because I subconsciously knew there was something dangerous about him. All I felt right now was love. I didn't know my closed up heart could expand this much. As his strong arms enveloped me, I was given a vision of us together in my mind. We were older, in our twenties maybe, sitting on the floor on a fluffy rug in front of a stone fireplace, playing with a baby.
We both stopped kissing each other at the same time. "Whoa!" he exclaimed, out of breath.
Still wrapped in his arms, mere inches from the lips I wanted to kiss some more, I asked, hesitantly, "Did you see what I saw?"
"The fireplace and the baby?"
"Oh, my gosh. That was crazy. How did we both see that?"
"They shall become one flesh," he mumbled, looking away.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing. It's just part of a verse that popped into my head," he whispered, letting go of me.
"Tell me."
"They shall become one flesh," he repeated.
"What does that mean?"
"It refers to marriage."
"Oh. Was that a vision of us married?"
"I guess so. I'm not sure. Anyway, I told you that nothing can override your free will. So that vision is just a possibility. It's not inevitable."
"Are you upset by it?" I asked, confused by his apologetic tone.
"Not at all. You know I believe that we are meant to be, although that was intense. I just don't want you to be freaked out by it."
"Oddly enough, I'm not freaked out. It felt peaceful. Let's try it again!"
He laughed. "Are you using me to get another vision?"
"Do you have a problem with that?" I teased.
"Not enough to stop you," he said playfully, as he wrapped me up in his arms once again.
He waited patiently for me to kiss him; he wasn't forward at all, maybe even shy. Instead, I took my right hand from behind his head and touched his lips with my finger. His eyes closed and I could suddenly feel his heart pounding. I traced his lips slowly. He remained perfectly still, letting me have my way with him. Pinching his bottom lip gently between my finger and thumb, I let my lips briefly touch his.
I returned my hand to the back of his neck and softly laid my head on his chest, right over his wildly beating heart, the one with my name etched on it. I felt responsible for his heart now, and I remained in that position until it resumed its normal rhythm.
"You don't want another vision?" he asked after several long minutes had passed.
"I'm happy in the here and now."
He squeezed me tightly. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For saying that you're happy here with me."
"You're welcome," I answered, squeezing him back.
"You feel like home to me," he whispered, relaxing his grip on me.
"I know what you mean."
"Really?"
"Sure. The night I left your house I remember thinking that I had a peaceful feeling when I was around you and I likened you to a down comforter on a cold New England night."
"I like that."
We ate our sandwiches and continued talking like best friends who'd known each other our whole lives.
"Would you excuse me for just about thirty seconds?" he asked politely after we had finished the chips.
"Sure."
"It might be better if you closed your eyes."
"Why?"
"I'm going to teleport," he said matter-of-factly.
"Am I not allowed to watch?"
"You're allowed. I just wasn't sure if you wanted to see me disappear."
"Oh, I do," I beamed.
He chuckled. "Be right back."<
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He vanished before my eyes. It was all of a sudden, different from what I had imagined. For some reason, I envisioned it being more like beaming from the transporter platform of the Enterprise where he would dematerialize and then materialize. In the middle of that thought, he popped back. It startled me and I jumped.
"That's why I wanted you to close your eyes. Sorry."
"It's okay. I'm fine."
It took me a second before I realized that he had an acoustic guitar with him. "What's this?"
"I wrote you a song for your birthday."
"You never told me you played the guitar. Or sang."
"It never came up. But I do love music and I play all the time. Mostly in my room."
"And you wrote a song for me?"
"I did. Would you like to hear it?"
"Please."
He sat cross-legged, facing me, and began to strum his fingers over the strings. Looking down at the guitar, he sang,
"Looking at you
I see open sky
Looking at you
I don't wonder why
My heart can't fathom
being without you
Don't let this time pass by
eternal, unfading
love is amazing
but it's all only words
till you're mine"
He looked up at me through his long, black eyelashes as he sang "till you're mine". The song was slow and sweet and his voice was soft.
"Looking at you
I see how you feel
Looking at you
I see you can heal
My heart can't fathom
being without you
Don't overlook what is real
eternal, unfading
love is amazing
but it's all only words
till you're mine
eternal, you're mine"
I found myself crying yet again. Only this time, it was outright sobbing. I covered my face with my hands. What is wrong with me?
Michael scooped me up like a baby and cradled me in his arms, rocking slightly, front to back. "It's okay," he whispered over and over.
When I was finally able to compose myself, I apologized.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Essie. I can feel what you're feeling. You love me and that's more than I could have ever hoped to know today. I also know that you think you love Ty. That's okay, too. I understand and I won't try to force you to make a choice you're not ready to make. Eternal, you're mine, so I'll wait for you. Patiently. It's okay."
Why couldn't I have met Michael first? We'd be happy now and I'd be oblivious to the demonic side of the supernatural world, at least for the moment.
I wiped my tears and relaxed in his secure arms.
"Your song was beautiful, by the way, in case you didn't infer that from the torrent of tears. Does it have a name?"
"'Eternal'. Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you."
He used his right hand to reach into the picnic basket, keeping me cradled closely with his left, and presented me with a small natural-colored box tied with pink raffia.
I took it, nervously, anticipating what I would say if it were a piece of jewelry. There was no way I could wear it in front of Ty or Mara. I pulled on one end of the bow and the raffia fell away. I hesitantly opened the box and saw a bracelet laying on a cotton mattress. I picked it up and examined it. The bracelet was made from black leather cord which held seven square silver beads, each etched with a symbol that was unfamiliar to me. Between each bead was a small silver ball.
"It's beautiful, Michael. What does it say?"
"It says 'eternal' in Malachim, the language of angels. And don't worry about Ty seeing it. I bound it."
I slipped it on and admired it. "Where did you find a bracelet with Malachim beads?"
He laughed. "I made it."
"You made this? Now it's even more beautiful! I love it. Thank you so much," I gushed, squeezing him tightly. "Tell me more about this language of angels."
"I don't want to bore you."
"I want to be a journalist, remember? I'm fascinated by all of this and I want to learn all I can."
"Okay, then. There is an angel called Raziel, who..."
"Wait. I know this. He wrote the Sefer Raziel HaMalakh, the first book ever written. It contained secret knowledge that he gave to Adam."
"How did you know that?" he asked, surprised.
"I dreamt about it, then I googled it and was shocked to find out that it was real. I confirmed it with Mr. Joshua."
"You dreamt about it?"
I nodded.
"Hmmm. That's pretty amazing." He studied my face for several seconds. "Would you like to know the whole story of the book?" he asked, abandoning the subject of my prophetic dream.
"Definitely." I backed up a few inches and sat up straight, awaiting his instruction.
"As you said, it was the first book ever written. Actually, it was originally inscribed on a stone made of sapphire. Raziel's duty was to record all the secret knowledge that was given to him in Heaven. After Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden, Adam was distraught and prayed for wisdom. His prayers were heard and Raziel was sent to give the sefer to Adam so that he could learn all he needed from the holy book. Upset that this secret knowledge was given to Adam and not to them, the fallen angels stole the sefer and threw it in the ocean where it remained for centuries. Eventually, the angel, Rahab, was sent to retrieve it and return it to Adam. It was passed down through generations of Jewish patriarchs, finally making its way into print, and wider circulation, in the beginning of the eighteenth century.
"Now, to the language. Because the sefer had been stolen by the fallen angels, the original angelic script was changed a bit before it was returned to Adam so that any knowledge that might have been gleaned by the demons would be confused by the new symbols, which were formed by the positions of the stars. Any magic that was attempted by using the former language could no longer be performed. The new language came to be known as Malachim."
"Why has it 'come to be known' as that?"
"We, angels, that is, didn't call it anything. It just was. But over time, as more people discovered the sefer, they decided to call it Malachim, after the Old Testament prophet Malachi. There is a verse that mentions a 'scroll of remembrance written in His presence' in the Book of Malachi. Prior to that, in the ninety-first Book of Psalms, or Tehillim in the Hebrew Bible, verse eleven declares that 'He shall give charge to His malachim (angels) concerning thee'. Those two verses convinced the rabbis that the angelic language should be known as Malachim."
"Cool," I mused, looking back to my bracelet.
"Wait a second. Did you say that this is invisible?"
"Yes. Angels can bind anything to keep it protected. This bracelet is invisible, except to angels and those they allow to see."
"But Ty and Mara are angels."
"They are demons, Essie. Will you finally believe me when you wear the bracelet and they can't see it?"
"It's not that I don't believe you, Michael. I do. But it's like I said before. I think you're both telling the truth, and that truth is up for interpretation. And until I have empirical evidence, I'm not going to change my mind."
"Then let's go horseback riding," he said, cheerfully accepting defeat.
I rose to my feet and offered him my hand, as though I could actually pull him up from his seated position. He indulged me and pretended to struggle to get up as I tugged. Once upright, he kept hold of my hand and we walked back through the lovely English garden, through the creaking arbor gate, and through the pasture to the stable. There were several horses grazing in the pasture who barely lifted their heads in acknowledgement of our passing. There were also a few horses in the stalls.
"How many horses do you have?" I asked curiously.
"A dozen. I think Trinity will treat you well. What do you say?" he asked as we stopped at the stall of a horse that looked like Black Beauty.
"Wha
tever you say. She's beautiful."
Michael opened her stall door and led her to a post where he tied her to keep her secure. She was magnificent.
"Would you mind brushing her while I get her tack?"
He handed me a long oval brush with a thick leather strap attached to it. "I'd love to," I said as I slipped my hand under the strap and began to brush her back. He returned in a flash with her blanket and saddle.
I continued brushing her and he joined me. "Why is she named Trinity?"
"I found her a couple of years ago. Her and that guy over there," he pointed to a stall on the other side of the stable which housed another black horse. "They looked so cool together, both black, and I thought of Trinity and Neo from 'The Matrix'."
"Good one," I agreed. "So, you'll ride Neo?"
"Uh, huh. They haven't ridden together for a while. This will make them very happy."
It took us about half an hour to get both horses ready to ride. As Michael went to give me a lift up on the saddle, he looked at my flip flops.
"I've been so busy looking at your face that I didn't notice you were wearing flip flops. You don't want to ride in those. Mama keeps her boots here, if you wouldn't mind borrowing them."
"Sure."
He retrieved Angie's boots from the tack room, I slipped them on, and we were ready.
We rode for a couple of hours over acres and acres of pristine pasture and along rough hewn paths through the woods surrounding their property.
I couldn't remember when I had had a better time. I was being swallowed up by Michael's infectious easy-going nature. The urge I had to keep my life orderly and under control vanished when I was around him. I wasn't thinking or planning, I was just being, enjoying the moment. Try as I might to tip the scales in Ty's favor, there was no down side to being with Michael. If everything that he said was true, it was perilous for me to be with Ty. If everything that Ty said was true, then the angel thing was a wash and I needed to make a choice. But how could I be expected to choose between chocolate mousse and tiramisu? Both were equally delicious, but totally different. Thankfully, I never had to; I could have one today and the other the next time. The rules of relationships, however, didn't allow me to have both.
As we approached the stable, I could see Michael's mama, as he called her. "Hey, you two," she shouted when she saw us.
"Hi, Angie," I responded when we got closer, still not totally comfortable calling her by her first name.
We dismounted several yards before we got to the stable, and Trinity shook her head upon seeing Angie, making a beeline toward her.
"Hey, sweet girl," she cooed, scratching along her neck. Turning her attention to me, she asked, "Have you enjoyed your day, Essie?"
"Thoroughly. Everything was perfect."
"I'm glad to hear that. Perfect was what Michael was going for," she disclosed.
"He succeeded," I confessed.
Her face conveyed the kind of pride that might be expected had Michael just won an event at a major equestrian competition. She was beaming as though she was saying, "That's my son! Isn't he wonderful?" without using words.
"I'd love for you to stay for dinner, if you're free. I made a red velvet cake for dessert."
"Well, I can't say no to that."
Michael had already put Neo up and now took Trinity's reins from me, leading her to the post where he would tie her in order to safely remove her tack.
"Be right back," I said to Angie as I walked to the little room where Michael had put my flip flops and purse. Sitting on the bench to pull off the boots I had borrowed, I grabbed my phone and quickly texted Ty: "Mrs. Powers invited me to dinner and I accepted. Call you later." SEND. OFF.
I rejoined Michael and Angie and we walked to the house together. There were several cars parked in the driveway and I remembered that Saturday night was open house at the Powers'. Michael opened the front door and ushered me through. To my horror, I was greeted by a house full of guests with a resounding, "Happy Birthday!"
This was a wonderfully sweet gesture, but I abhorred being the center of attention and I now had every eye in the place on me. I wished I had Michael's ability to teleport myself to a remote cave on the other side of the world.
"You don't need to be embarrassed, honey," Angie said reassuringly as she led me toward the crowd, each person waiting to give me a hug.
"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked rhetorically once the last hug had been given and we made our way to the kitchen.
"Honestly?" I paused briefly. "No. It wasn't bad. Your family and friends are so nice, Angie. And you always make me feel so welcome."
"Well, honey, we just feel like you're a part of the family. You're always welcome here," hugging me again. "I hope you're hungry. Here, grab a plate and why don't you get us started." She turned away from me and called out, "Hey, everyone. Time to eat."
I waited for Michael to fix his plate and we excused ourselves to the back deck where we ate the last time I was here.
"Welcome to the family," he chuckled.
"Did you know your mama was going to do this?"
"I had no idea. All I planned was the picnic. I still can't believe you stayed. Aren't you going to be in trouble with Ty?"
"Probably. He's been trying really hard lately to be cool about you, but I don't see him dealing well with this at all."
"Don't forget what I told you about thinking of me if you're ever in trouble."
"That's a little dramatic, Michael. Ty might get upset, but he would never hurt me."
"Whatever you say."
"Let's change the subject, okay?"
"Good idea."
We talked about horses for while; he was very knowledgeable, and I eagerly soaked up his many anecdotes.
Angie appeared at the glass door and waved for us to join the others. We put our dishes in the sink and headed toward the great room.
"Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Essie.
Happy birthday to you."
There stood Angie, in the middle of everyone, holding a birthday cake, waiting for me to blow out the candles.
"Go on and don't forget to make a wish," Michael grinned.
For the second time tonight, I felt as hot as the flames on those seventeen candles. Thankfully, she had grouped them together on the left side of the cake which made it easier to blow them out quickly.
Everyone cheered when the last candle's flame was extinguished. "Thank you all so much. Let's have cake!"
I followed Angie as she carried the cake into the kitchen and set it on the island. She got a big knife and placed the handle in my hand.
"You cut and I'll serve."
"Sounds like a plan."
I started cutting down the middle, then the middle of each half, and so on, to ensure the pieces were uniform.
"Thank you so much for staying for dinner, Essie. You know it meant the world to Michael. And to us, too, of course. We consider you family."
I nearly started crying again. What was it about this family that made me so emotional? They were just so good and decent. "Thank you, Angie. I really appreciate everything you've done."
"Aw, honey, it was nothing. You know we love you."
Michael was last in line to get his piece of cake. "Mama, would you mind if Essie and I went back out on the deck?"
"Not at all, baby. Y'all go on and enjoy the rest of the night."
When we sat back down again, he asked, "Are you okay?"
"Sure. Why?"
"I can sense you're upset about something. Was the party too much?"
"No, it's not that."
"Then what?"
"I wish I met you first, Michael," I blurted out.
He lowered his head.
"You know how I feel about you and I just adore your family, too. But I can't just break up with Ty. He hasn't done anything wrong. I feel like I'm going crazy. I wish there were two of me."
"I don't. I wan
t all of you, not half or a clone."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"I know what you meant. But you will have to make a choice, Essie. Probably sooner than later."
The tears flowed freely now and I didn't even try to stop them.
"Don't be scared," he whispered as I held on to him tightly.