CHAPTER 35
Movin' On
"Holy crap!" I shrieked through marshmallow eyes as I was jolted upright by the realization that I had fallen asleep on the roof with Ty. The sun was just beginning to light up the morning sky.
"Good mornin'," he smiled, looking as though he had already been up and showered.
"Oh, my gosh. This is not cool. My mother is going to kill me when she sees you."
"I'm pretty sure I heard her leave about fifteen minutes ago. She must have had to go into work early. Do you want me to check?"
"No," I stressed in a what-are-you-crazy tone. "You stay here. I'll be right back." I crawled through the window, over Axl, who must have been sleeping on the bay window's cushion all night. He wasn't a morning person either. He lifted his head slightly to acknowledge me, but then laid it back down, just wagging his tail slightly.
I crept down the stairs, careful not to wake anyone. I could smell the coffee that my mother had made and hoped she'd left some for me. The digital numbers on the coffee pot told me that it was 6:27AM. Under an empty mug, she had left me a note.
"Good Morning, Essie, I know you were out late last night so I didn't want to wake you any earlier than necessary. Hope you had fun. ? I left you one cup of coffee to start your day. Sorry I forgot to tell you that I had to go in early today. Please wake the kids up at 6:45 and help them get ready. Thanks, sweetie. Love, Mum."
Thank goodness. I went back upstairs to let Ty know that the coast was clear.
"You were right. She left early. I can't believe how lucky we are."
"I loved sleeping with you, Essie."
"You know, that's the first night in I don't know how long that I slept peacefully through the whole night. Thank you."
"Any time," he winked.
"Yeah, like that can ever happen again."
"I'm going to figure out a way to climb up here silently every night and hold you in my arms all night long so that you can sleep peacefully."
I smiled. "Thank you for coming to get me last night."
"Thanks for letting me take you home."
If there was ever a perfect time to say "I love you" this was it. But, as usual, the words remained stuck in my throat. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him a hug. He hugged me back and I wished that music was playing. I envisioned him singing "Love of a Lifetime" and started swaying. He swayed along with me, without saying a word.
All too soon, the song in my head ended. "You need to go so that I can wake the kids up," I said softly without letting him go.
He backed up a bit and bent down to kiss my cheek. "I'll be back to pick you up at the usual time."
"See you."
He left my room quietly and walked lightly down the staircase. After I heard the door latch click, I quickly tore off the costume that I had fallen asleep in and threw on my pj's, then I went into each of my sibling's bedrooms and woke them. They knew how to get themselves ready, they just needed a little prodding to keep them focused.
As promised, Ty returned to pick me up with a large coffee.
"You're a life saver."
"You're easy to please."
The school day dragged by. The only thing that got me through was thinking about the best Halloween ever with Karen and Mara and Nicole at The Jinx. And, of course, sleeping with Ty on my rooftop refuge. Saturday seemed like forever ago. Until I got home.
I don't know how it happened, but I totally forgot about my tutoring session with Michael. I was lazing on the back porch, the book that I was supposed to be reading spread out across my lap, when he appeared before me.
"You startled me," I croaked, my book falling to the floor.
"I'm sorry. You looked so peaceful. I was trying not to disturb you. Would you rather not tackle Statistics today?"
"I can't do this, Michael," I said, meaning the words more seriously than they sounded.
"Don't worry about it. Skipping one week won't hurt you. If you come across anything you can't handle, you can always give me a call."
"I don't mean Statistics. I mean us."
"I'm not sure I follow."
"It's too hard for me to spend time with you. You know how I feel, but you also know that I'm not going to break up with Ty. Being with you is just too..."
"Oh."
"I'm so sorry, Michael. I don't want to hurt you. I love you. It's just that..." I gasped and covered my mouth.
"I love you, too. But you already knew that."
"I can't believe I just said that. I'm so sorry. It just came out."
"You don't ever have to apologize for that. I'm glad it slipped out."
"I'm not. It only makes this harder."
"Then don't do it."
"It's too late. I'm already invested."
"If you knew for certain that everything I've told you was true, would you spend your life with a demon?"
"Of course not. But I don't know that."
"Could he see the bracelet?"
"Oh, my gosh. The bracelet," I noted, glancing at my empty wrist, missing the beautiful gift that Michael had made for me. "I took it off last night when I put on my Halloween costume and I guess I forgot to put it on this morning. I'm sorry. But, honestly, it wouldn't matter anyway. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm choosing Ty. I can't see you anymore."
"What about the nursery?"
"If you'll have her, I'm almost certain that Karen will take over my shifts."
"Looks like you've thought this through."
"I'm not sure about that. All I know is that there's a war going on inside of me and I'm battle weary."
"I understand. I'd better go then," he hesitated, walking toward me with his arms opened.
I stepped into his arms and he embraced me tightly.
I lost it. "I'm so sorry, Michael. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Ssshhhh. It's okay. It's okay."
He did his best to console me, but I was inconsolable.
"Eternal, you're mine, so I'll wait for you. Patiently. It's okay," he whispered. And he was gone.
I collapsed into my chair. I continued sobbing until my tear ducts were empty. My head was throbbing and there was no way I was getting any homework done.
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," I reprimanded aloud. I took a deep breath. I needed to get out of here. I needed Mara.
After lying down with an ice pack on my eyes for a few minutes, then washing my face, I was calm enough to call her.
"Hey, girl. What's going on?" she answered cheerfully.
"Just wondering if you're up for a ride to Savannah. I could use a break."
"Give me twenty minutes."
"Thanks, friend."
True to her word, she pulled up exactly twenty minutes later in her shiny red Porsche. I felt better already.
"What's the emergency?" she asked offhandedly, shifting into first gear.
"I took your advice. Sort of."
"To which nugget of wisdom are you referring?"
"Remember when you told me that my relationship with Michael was putting a strain on my relationship with Ty?"
"I don't remember saying that exactly, but..."
"Well, I just told Michael that I couldn't see him anymore. He came over to tutor me in Statistics and I told him that being with him was messing me up with Ty. I also quit my job at the nursery. I told him that Karen would take my shifts."
"It's about time! This calls for a celebration and I know just the place."
She sped down the highway and through the streets of Savannah until we arrived at Lulu's.
"Perfect!" I declared.
Over countless cups of coffee and every chocolate confection they offered, I filled Mara in on everything I had previously kept from her, with regard to Michael, that is. It felt good to be completely honest with Ty's twin. I had always felt it necessary to hold back, knowing how close they were, certain she'd feel obligated to share with her brother.
I was liberated. Freed from the pressure I had put on myself of trying t
o be something that I wasn't. Michael and Mr. Joshua were doing their best to make me believe that I was a player in some angelic drama. Heck, why on earth would angels need me? From now on, I was Ty's girlfriend. No more, no less. Free to live my life on my terms.