Gio was sure even Felix heard it—the visual of his dream shattering violently like a glass frame into a million pieces. He couldn’t even respond to that. Not even with a chuckle like he normally would’ve. “Give me that,” he said holding out his hand and Felix handed him the wrap.
If Felix noticed the hasty change of subject when Gio started talking about sparring techniques, he didn’t say anything. This would’ve been the best chance to find out what Felix’s thoughts were on his and Bianca’s relationship—how serious he was about her. But Gio decided he’d rather not know. This was worse than he thought. Gio’s heart had already begun to claim Bianca as his. He wouldn’t even be able to stomach hearing Felix speak in terms of his girl. It was happening already and he hadn’t even slept with her.
CHAPTER 19
The three days following Felix’s early return Bianca managed to keep him at arm’s length. She spent the days working and at school. Then in the evenings, Felix was understanding of the fact that she was still hurt about his betrayal to even cuddle much less do anything else. The guilt would start to become too much to bear. Then she and Gio would have one of their silent moments where she was caught in his eyes again or he’d send her a text that would have her walking on air and she’d be back to square one feeling ready to do or say whatever it took just to be near him.
Felix was doing everything he could to try and remedy things. Now that Bianca didn’t really care and since he supposedly confessed to the real truth behind the stories, she’d begun to watch more of the tabloid shows. It helped ease her guilt. At the same time whenever she came across any of the stories while he was in the room with her, it helped support why she wouldn’t be engaging in any intimate activity with him any time soon. She just couldn’t—not anymore. She had to take full advantage of the tabloid stories now.
Tonight they were all going to Winterfest, a rail jam event in town. The festival was part of the ongoing events surrounding the Snowboarding championships. It was a nice break from the last two awkward nights and she was looking forward to the possibility of getting a moment alone with Gio. So far, since Felix had gotten back they’d had a few but in the cabin it was impossible to do much more than exchange knowing and longing gazes.
They reached the downtown area of Big Bear where the event was taking place. They hadn’t been there very long when Felix was recognized and the fans requesting pictures with him started up. Felix’s bodyguards allowed a few and then they started again through the crowd. Though they tried to remain inconspicuous it was impossible to do so with two burly bodyguards in front of them and two behind them. The one time she wished his busybody publicist Andy were here to distract Felix and pull him away like he usually did at public events, he wasn’t here.
Gio had been quiet ever since they’d gotten out of the car and for the first time in days she’d allowed Felix to hold her hand. It was out of habit. They were walking through a crowd and it was more of a protective measure on his part so as not to get separated in the crowd.
Now that they’d stopped and a breeze blew, making Bianca cringe, he wrapped his arms around her from behind in an effort to warm her. Bianca knew holding his hand was probably what Felix was waiting for to work his way back to the way things were before and she now regretted it. She’d hoped to hold onto the no touching rule for a while longer. If she did anything with Felix the guilt would eat her alive because these last few days Gio’s texts had become more and more heartfelt. He was feeling exactly what she was and if she had to see him with someone else, it’d be worse than anything she ever felt when hearing about Felix with other girls.
As if on cue, Felix reached over and tapped Gio on the shoulder. He’d turned his back on them the moment Felix had wrapped his arms around Bianca. “Check out who’s here.”
Bianca turned at the same time as Gio in the direction where Felix was pointing. Over by the beer booth, Evelyn stood posing with two guys holding beer cups. She wore a white ski suit that appeared to be painted on, with the word Budweiser written down the front of it. The matching white high-heeled boots that went up to her thighs, were in no way made for the snow. Her long dark hair looked perfect even in this God forsaken weather. Even with all the men standing around waiting for their chance to be photographed with her, Bianca knew the moment she saw Gio he’d have her full attention.
“You should go ask her what time she’s off,” Felix said. “Maybe she could join us after for drinks somewhere or come back to the cabin for some and hang out.”
Bianca had to bite her tongue to keep the word NO! from flying out. She stared at Evelyn for a moment then turned back to Gio who smirked then shrugged. “Maybe later. She looks busy right now.”
Normally her ears, like the rest of her extremities in this weather were freezing cold but right now, they were on fire. If Evelyn rode back with them or worse, Gio left with her in her own car, Bianca didn’t know how she would deal with it.
Feeling her throat already swelling she suddenly knew what Gio must be feeling watching her with Felix and she pulled out of Felix’s embrace. She knew it was abrupt and she’d surprised him but she didn’t care. “I need to find a ladies’ room.”
The startled look on Felix’s face eased up a bit. “Oh.” He looked around.
“I know where they are,” she added quickly. “Just wait here. I’ll be right back.”
“Is the mens’ room near there, too?” Gio asked and their eyes instantly locked.
“Yeah, I might as well go too.” Felix said, squashing any hope of sneaking a moment alone with Gio. “I had a couple of beers before we left and it’s just a matter of time before the urge to go kicks in.”
They all walked slowly through the crowd of bundled up spectators. Bianca knew of closer restrooms in the vicinity where they’d been standing but it meant walking past Evelyn’s Budweiser stand so she led them to the ones in the opposite direction. The image of Gio and Evelyn making out on the dance floor flashed through her mind. Bianca dropped Felix’s hand. She’d make every effort tonight and from here on to not give Gio any reason to even consider bringing Evelyn back to the cabin. That would be the only thing that would have Bianca running far from that cabin for good.
Felix was stopped by some fans asking to take a photo with him and Bianca gestured to him that the restrooms were just a few feet away and kept walking. The mere thought of Gio bringing a girl back to the cabin had her in near tears. Feeling like a complete hypocrite, she wiped at the corners of her eyes as she entered the restroom before she could shed even one stupid tear.
Because the restrooms were further from the main crowd they were less crowded like she knew they’d be. She was in and out quickly.
Feeling a bit more composed, she glanced around for Felix and was completely startled when someone suddenly pulled her hand. She turned to see Gio and followed him quickly behind the small building that housed the restrooms. Once behind it Gio backed her up into the wall and kissed her frantically.
Breathlessly and oh-so-happy, Bianca kissed him back just as madly, savoring the familiar taste of his mouth. Her heart pounded now as both the excitement and the reality of the enormous risk this was set in. Even as desperately as he kissed her, the boy obviously knew what he was doing because his kisses were anything but sloppy. They were just as perfect as she remembered; his tongue maneuvered magically in perfect rhythm with hers.
She pulled away just long enough to say what she had to. “Don’t bring Evelyn back to the cabin.”
“I won’t,” he said simply and continued to kiss her.
“I haven’t been sleeping with him,” she said against his lips. “I’m not going to anymore.”
Gio stopped and stared at her breathing hard. “You’re not?”
“No. I promise. But promise me you won’t see Evelyn anymore.”
The response to that was a longer, even more vehement kiss. Then he stopped and looked at her. “I’ve no interest in Evelyn—none.”
Taking a step away from
her, he glanced around. “We gotta go. Felix was just caught up for a few minutes with one of the skaters. Go this way.” He pointed to the quickest route back to where Felix was, then pointed in the opposite direction. “I’ll go that way.” He started to walk away then rushed back and took her face in his hands kissing her deeply one last time before letting go and sped around the small building.
Bianca walked around her side cautiously, her mind still swimming in a blissful daze as her heart continued to attack her rib cage with each wallop. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she was certain it was Felix looking for her but it was a text—from Lala. With her body still reveling the euphoria of having finally quenched her aching need to be near Gio again—feel his touch—kiss his lips, she stared at the screen elated. Just seeing the envelope with the code-name for him now like she had so much in the past few days made her want to do a little dance but she refrained and clicked on the envelope instead.
God I missed your lips.
She smiled, inhaling deeply as she touched her fingers to her lips, still warm from his kisses. “Wow. Now there’s a smile I haven’t seen in a while. Where’s that coming from?”
The phone nearly slipped out of her hands at the sound of Felix’s voice. He stared down at her phone, his eyes full of curiosity—or suspicion.
“I, uh.” Unable to put even one coherent sentence together, Bianca slipped her phone in her pocket. She cleared her throat. “Toni… she…” Bianca glanced up at Felix but unable to look him in the eye too long she glanced away quickly. “She was just being silly.”
Beginning to walk and pulling a strand of hair behind her ear, she snuck a peek in Felix’s direction. His brows had pulled together. “Yeah? What’s she up to?”
“She’s seeing some new guy.” Gio was up ahead waiting for them and smiled when his eyes met hers, making her already wild insides go even wilder. As anxious as the feel of this conversation was making her, she couldn’t help smiling back. “Some indie film maker from Los Angeles.”
Felix nodded, looking up at Gio who stood waiting for them a few feet ahead. “I meant to tell you earlier this week but things have been kind of weird. I’m having the guys up from 5th Street for the weekend. We’ll probably all go out. Maybe you can invite Toni since it’ll be a group thing.”
Bianca turned to him. The pulled together brows and any sign of suspicion were now gone. “I’ll ask her.” She smiled softly, and nodded. “That would probably be fun.”
Of course, that meant letting Toni in on her situation which she now absolutely had to tell her anyway. There was only so much longer they could keep this up without something going horribly wrong and Bianca would have to make a decision soon. Toni would no doubt be helpful in that decision making. Although the idea of walking away from Gio was one that became harder to even consider with each passing day.
There were no further moments the rest of the evening and for the next few days Bianca spent her days dodging Felix’s advances and melting over Gio’s texts.
Determined to not only keep her promise to Gio about not sleeping with Felix but to keep the touching to a minimum, Bianca upped the hurt act every time a new story about Felix and his other women was aired. It helped that the media was relentless and she was more than thankful that her feelings for Gio were so overwhelming they’d completely purged any feelings she’d previously had for Felix. Otherwise she would’ve been going crazy with all the stories. Her grandmother had asked her several times already without mentioning the gossip about Felix if she was okay. Bianca reassured her that she was.
Her impetuous feelings for Gio were a bit alarming. Especially given the fact that she still had no idea how this would ever work. She wondered at times if it was their circumstances that created such an urgency to be with each other. The need was profound—the willingness to take risks becoming greater.
With Felix and Gio’s friends coming up early for the weekend Bianca took the weekend off, including Friday, but left the cabin Friday morning before any of them got there to get her hair done and have a much needed talk with Toni. Toni had already agreed to come with them later that evening when they went night boarding. With Roni being pregnant Bianca planned on hanging out with her at the resort while the guys snow boarded so getting her hair done wouldn’t be a waste. Toni had been excited about meeting them and since Felix’s previous visits had been limited up until now, this was only the second time she’d be around him. She was still a little star struck.
Knowing Toni’s salon got busy Friday mornings Bianca ran a few errands first. Toni was still busy when she got there but told Bianca the wait wouldn’t be long. Bianca sat down in Toni’s tiny little waiting room and began sifting through all of Toni’s tabloids. She stopped when her phone pinged with a text. It was from Felix. The whole week she’d calculated leaving when he was already in the gym so there’d be no danger of him attempting more than the goodbye peck—the only affection she’d given him since his admission of having gone out with Shelley. And she made sure that happened only in the privacy of the bedroom. The master bed in his room was so freakishly big it was easy enough to steer clear of his side and so far he’d respected the boundaries. When she’d left that morning she barely stuck her head in the gym to let him know where she’d be.
Will you be home before noon? The guys will be here in a couple of hours and we were thinking of going out for lunch.
She’d just finished reading his text when she got another one from Gio.
This weekend should be interesting. We might even get some time alone. How long till you get back today? I miss you already.
They’d probably just finished their morning workout and Gio was back in his room. Felix said today’s workout would be a short one. As usual, her insides were already mush. And like she always did, she reread the text smiling brightly before responding.
I miss you, too! I shouldn’t be too long. Just getting my hair done then I’ll head back. I hope you’re right about this weekend. This is torture!
She hit send and waited flipping through the magazine again until she heard the ping again. She smiled hitting the envelope again.
I know it is and something’s gotta give. SOON. Things can’t stay this way much longer. I’ve been giving it some thought. But I’m not sure if this is what you want. We’ll have to talk as soon as we get a chance.
Bianca reread and stopped at the most intriguing part. If this is what you want? She hadn’t put much thought into what she wanted. All she’d allowed herself to do was to be grateful for what little he could give her under the circumstances. Up until that moment, she didn’t think anything more could come of their relationship except a forbidden one even after she and Felix broke things off, which she knew was inevitable and barreling down on her.
Is was only a matter a time before Felix would question the point of having a girlfriend he wasn’t allowed to touch. Especially since there were a million girls out there who’d be more than willing to oblige.
“I’ll be with you next, Bianca,” Toni informed her as she walked her previous customer to the register.
Bianca clicked back to the main screen of her phone to check the time. It wasn’t even ten yet. She had plenty of time. “That’s fine,” she said, getting back to her text screen and responding to Gio. Afraid to ask and agreeing with his final comment, she’d wait until they could speak in person to find out what he meant by what she wanted. So she kept her response simple but sweet.
I can hardly wait. Xoxo
She stood slipping her phone in the front pocket of her jeans. As she made her way to the salon chair, still thinking about Gio’s text, her phone pinged again and she pulled it out. How something so simple could excite her was beyond any reason. She smiled big then quickly frowned when she saw the text was from Felix. Her stomach dropped when she saw she’d sent that last text to him, not to Gio. His response was nothing more than a question mark.
“Oh my God.” She brought her hand over her mouth.
“W
hat?” Toni asked as she walked back toward her.
The salon was empty now that her last customer had walked out. Bianca couldn’t be happier about that because she had so much to tell her. Things she didn’t want others hearing. But right now she had to figure out how to explain this.
She was still standing there her hand over her mouth trying to calm herself. This could’ve been so much worse. Some of the responses she’d written to Gio’s texts this past week would’ve completely buried her. Especially since she’d been so cold and indifferent toward Felix. Even sending x’s and o’s to him now might be questionable. And it obviously was, judging by his response. “Shit,” she muttered as any suitable response eluded her.
With her mind still racing she gasped when her phone rang. It was Felix. Not only did she have to lie, she wouldn’t be able to hide behind a text to do it. Damn it!
Toni must’ve seen the panic in her eyes because Bianca saw the worry in hers when she asked, “What’s wrong?”
Bianca lifted a finger to her lips then answered her phone bringing her hand to her forehead. “Felix, Toni was about to wash my hair. Can I call you back?”
He was quiet for a moment then spoke slowly and a bit cautiously. “Bianca, was that last text you sent meant for me?”
She laughed nervously. “No, actually. I meant to send that one to my mom. She’s making my favorite empanadas this week.”
More silence then. “Oh, okay. I thought that was weird. I’m glad it was for your mom and not anyone else.” Bianca couldn’t be sure but his laugh sounded as forced as the one she responded with. “So, you’ll be back in time for lunch?”