Through every chapter of my life, poetry became the music that harmonizes with my thoughts and feelings. In this book I open another chapter of my life with poetry I have written based on important details that colored the blank pages of my life.
I am opening myself to the world, offering them songs of poetry I have written and composed with the lyrics and melodies of my heart and soul. And this time around you will meet the real girl who is writing behind poems and singing unknown songs.
The Girl on the Sidelines
Four years I spent cheering you on
Shouting number thirteen as you run along
Even when the odds were against you
For me you always won.
Sitting on the sideline as I waved your number up
You turned at my direction
Acknowledging my presence with a smile
Only to realize it was meant for the girl sitting behind.
When the crowd goes home
I walk towards you with open arms
But you pass right through me
And forget that I was even there.
Left behind I watched you walk away
With you holding her hands
Hoping that one day you would notice
That I am the girl always waiting on the sidelines.
And when I get my chance with you
Not even for a moment do you even see
The girl who dreams of you every time
While you talk about her all year round.
When you cried each time she broke your heart
I wiped the tears that fell on your eyes
Tried to paint on you another smile
And let you sleep on my arms.
But you never noticed my heart was bleeding
That I force myself to smile so you won’t see me hurting
But I don’t think you’d even care
Because you only look away and I’m lost in your memory.
And when the game is done and we’re left alone
You leave me again and drive her home
And you even waved goodbye
To the girl who’s still waiting on the sidelines.
I dream of the moment when you’d finally see
I’m the girl who dreams of you every time
But you only look away and I realized
I will always be the girl on the sidelines.
I’m always the girl watching you on the sidelines
I am always the girl waiting on the sidelines.
I Wish I was Young
I'm staring at old photographs
Where I was cradled in my father's arms
I smile and wish I was still a child
Without a care in the world and time was all I had.
Back when everything was funny,
And it felt great being silly.
Jumping up and down in bed,
Thinking I was in the clouds that were fluffy.
When you could play all day long
And laugh with the birds and then sing along.
Dance in the rain and dive under the pillows
And fear those pretend monsters.
I clasp the pictures in my hand,
Wonder where that carefree child has gone
In her place instead is a girl with a broken heart
Her dreams shattered and her laughter gone.
And I could never try and pretend
I was a Princess in my fairytale land
I knew my Prince Charming would never come
He has hurt me and was long away gone.
I can't pretend everything is funny
That I don't have anything to worry
I wish I was still a child
And I was my Daddy's little baby.
When I could wrap a hand in his finger as we walked
And my Mother would dress me up for school
Believing that no one could ever break my heart
And time was all I had.
When I would sleep and the lights were on
Hugging Mr. Teddy Bear who's the greatest friend in the world
Listen to Daddy's footsteps as he left the room
While he sings my favorite song.
Now I'm alone in bed and all grown up
Wondering where that carefree child has gone
As I noticed the gray hairs in my parents' head
And know I would never have the time.
Putting on my make-up, as I fixed my hair
I see my reflection on the mirror
Remember the time when swimming on the dirt was fun