‘That’s why I was saying,’ Mahim added, when Gora rose to his feet, ‘it won’t be appropriate to invite your Binoy to Shashi’s wedding celebrations. We can’t let him create a fuss all over again, about all this. Please caution your mother beforehand.’
Approaching his mother’s room, Gora saw Anandamoyi on the floor, with her spectacles on, making some sort of list in an exercise book. Seeing Gora, she removed her glasses, closed the notebook, and said:
‘Come and join me.’
When he had found a place to sit, she said: ‘I need to consult you on something. You have heard about Binoy’s marriage, haven’t you?’
Gora remained silent.
‘Binoy’s kaka, his father’s younger brother, is displeased,’ Anandamoyi continued. ‘None of them will attend. It is also doubtful if this wedding can take place in Poreshbabu’s house. Binoy himself must make all the arrangements. So I suggest – since the ground floor of our house, on the northern side, has been rented out and the tenants on the first floor have moved out as well—that if we arrange for the wedding ceremony on that upper floor, it might be convenient.’
‘How would it be convenient?’ Gora enquired.
‘Who will supervise everything if I am not present at the wedding?’ Anandamoyi pointed out. ‘Binoy will be in a fix. If the wedding takes place there, I can arrange everything from home, without any trouble.’
‘That’s not possible, Ma!’
‘Why not? I have persuaded the one in charge.’
‘No Ma, I tell you this wedding cannot take place here. Please believe me.’
‘Why, Binoy is not marrying according to their customs after all!’
‘Those are mere arguments. You can’t use legal arguments with the communnity. Binoy may do as he pleases, but we cannot accept this marriage. There is no dearth of houses in Kolkata. He owns a house himself, after all.’
Houses were there aplenty, as Anandamoyi was aware. But it rankled in her heart that Binoy, abandoned by relatives, friends and everybody else, should somehow undergo the wedding ritual in his own home, like some godforsaken wretch. Therefore she had privately decided to organize the wedding ceremony in the part of their house set aside for renting out. Thus, without opposing their community, she could have enjoyed the satisfaction of arranging the auspicious ritual in their own home.
Seeing that Gora was firmly against the idea, she remarked: ‘If all of you are so averse to this suggestion, we must rent other premises. It will put a great strain upon me, though. But never mind, if this option is impossible, what use dwelling upon it!’
‘Ma, you ought not to participate in this ceremony,’ Gora objected.
‘What’s this Gora, how can you say such a thing! If I don’t participate in our own Binoy’s wedding ceremony, then who will!’
‘That is simply not possible, Ma!’
‘Gora, you and Binoy may not see eye to eye on some things, but must we therefore behave like his enemies?’
‘Ma, that is an unfair thing to say!’ protested Gora. ‘It brings me no joy that I can’t join in the merriment of Binoy’s wedding. How dear Binoy is to me, you know better than anyone else. But Ma, this is not a question of love; it has nothing to do with friendship or enmity. Binoy has chosen this course, knowing its consequences fully well. We have not deserted him, it is he who has deserted us. Hence the present estrangement will not hurt him beyond his expectations.’
‘Gora, it’s true Binoy knows he will have no connection with you where this wedding is concerned. But surely he also knows I can never abandon him on this auspicious occasion. If Binoy imagined I would not receive his bride with my blessings, he could never have gone ahead with this wedding, not if it cost him his life. Don’t I know Binoy’s mind!’ Anandamoyi wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. This stirred up the deep, painful feelings for Binoy that Gora nursed in his heart.
‘Ma, you belong to a community and you are indebted to them,’ he insisted. ‘That’s something you must bear in mind.’
‘Gora, I have told you repeatedly that my links with the community have long been severed. That is why the community disdains me, and I too keep my distance.’
‘Ma, these words of yours wound me most deeply.’
‘Bachha, Ishwar knows it is beyond my powers to protect you from the pain of this blow,’ replied Anandamoyi, her tender, tearful gaze seeming to caress every part of Gora’s body.
‘Then let me tell you what I must do,’ declared Gora, rising to his feet. ‘I shall go to Binoy and tell him not to widen the gulf between you and the community by involving you in his wedding plans. For that would be extremely unfair and selfish on his part.’
‘Very well, do what you can,’ smiled Anandamoyi. ‘Go tell him, and I’ll handle what follows.’
After Gora had left, Anandamoyi thought for a long time. Then she slowly arose and went to her husband’s quarters. Tonight being ekadashi, there were no arrangements for Krishnadayal to cook for himself. He had found a new Bengali translation of Gherandasamhita, which he was reading, seated on a deerskin. Seeing Anandamoyi, he grew agitated. Keeping a suitable distance from him she knelt on the threshold.
‘Look, this is very unfair,’ she declared.
Krishnadayal was beyond worldly things like fairness or unfairness. So it was with indifference that he asked:
‘What is so unfair?’
‘We ought not to keep Gora deluded for a single day longer. Things are getting out of hand.’
This had occurred to Krishnadayal the day Gora had spoken of penance. Subsequently, busy with sundry yogic practices, he had not found the time to think about it.
‘There is talk of getting Shashimukhi married,’ Anandamoyi told him. ‘Perhaps it will happen soon, this coming month of Phalgun. Previously, whenever any community ritual has taken place in our house, I have always taken Gora elsewhere on some pretext or other. So far, no major ritual has taken place either. But now that Shashi’s wedding is due, tell me what I should do with Gora. The wrong we have done him becomes more serious with each passing day. Every day, morning and evening, I beg the Almighty’s forgiveness with folded hands. Let me bear any punishment He wishes to inflict, but I am constantly afraid that we can’t hold out any longer, that there will be trouble with Gora. Please give me permission now, let me frankly disclose the whole truth to him, whatever misfortune it may bring upon me.’
What sort of hurdle had Indra, king of gods, cast in Krishnadayal’s way, just to disrupt his holy pursuits! These pursuits, too, had grown very intense of late. He was accomplishing impossible feats with his breathing, and his diet had also gradually dwindled to such frugal proportions, it would not be long before he achieved his resolve to flatten his abdomen until his stomach touched his back. What a nuisance all this was, at such a juncture!
‘Are you mad?’ Krishnadayal demanded. ‘If these facts become public now, I shall have to offer all sorts of explanations. My pension will be stopped for sure, and maybe even the police will be after me. Let bygones be bygones. Try to manage as best you can. If you can’t, even that won’t be too bad.’
Let things take their own course after his death, Krishnadayal had decided. Meanwhile he would remain detached. Then, one could somehow manage by turning a blind eye to what others were doing without his knowledge.
Unable to decide what was to be done, Anandamoyi arose dejectedly and stood in silence for a while. Then she said:
‘Can’t you see what’s happening to your body?’
‘My body!’ Krishnadayal gave an abrupt guffaw at her stupidity. Their discussion on this subject did not lead to any satisfactory conclusion. Krishnadayal once again immersed himself in the Gherandasamhita.
Meanwhile, Mahim was in the outer chamber, discussing lofty spiritual truths with Krishnadayal’s sanyasi. Having anxiously inquired, with extreme humility, whether mukti or spiritual liberation was possible for householders, he folded his hands and awaited the reply so attentively, with such excessive dev
otion and eagerness, it seemed that he had pledged all he possessed to attain mukti. The sanyasi was trying to console Mahim somehow, assuring him that heaven, though not mukti, was available to householders. But Mahim refused to be consoled. His heart was set on mukti, heaven was of no use to him. If he could somehow marry off his daughter, he could devote himself to the pursuit of mukti by serving the sanyasi. Who could deter him? But marrying off a daughter was indeed no easy matter. Not unless the sanyasi baba took pity on him.
~64~
Remembering that he had lately forgotten himself somewhat, Gora became even more rigid than before. He had decided it was due to slackness in his observance of restrictions that he had been overwhelmed by a powerful enchantment, forgetting his own community.
Completing his sandhya rituals in the morning, Gora entered the room and found Poreshbabu there. Lightning seemed to streak through his heart. Even his nerves and blood vessels could not deny Poresh’s deep, intimate connection with his own life. Gora found himself bowing to touch Poresh’s feet in a pranam.
‘You must have heard of Binoy’s marriage plans?’ Poresh asked him.
‘Yes.’
‘He is not willing to be married by Brahmo rites.’
‘Then this wedding should not take place at all.’
Poresh smiled faintly, without arguing about it. ‘No one in our community will participate in this wedding ceremony,’ he told Gora. ‘Even Binoy’s own relatives will not attend, I hear. I am there to represent my daughter’s side; on Binoy’s side there is perhaps nobody but you. That is why I have come to consult you.’
‘What use consulting me on this? I have nothing to do with it.’
Poreshbabu stared at Gora in surprise. ‘You have nothing to do with it?’ he repeated, after a while.
For a moment, Gora felt a little awkward at Poresh’s astonishment. But the very next moment, because he felt this awkwardness, he declared with redoubled firmness: ‘How can I be involved in this!’
‘I know you are his friend,’ persisted Poreshbabu. ‘At such a time, doesn’t he need his friends most of all?’
‘I am his friend, but that’s not my only tie in the world, or the most important one.’
‘Gour, do you find anything wrong or irreligious in Binoy’s conduct?’
‘But there are two aspects to dharma,’ Gora insisted. ‘The eternal aspect, and the everyday one. Where dharma takes the form of social laws it cannot be ignored, for then the world would be devastated.’
‘But there are countless laws. Must we take every law for an expression of dharma?’
Poreshbabu had touched the very area of Gora’s consciousness that was already in turmoil, where Gora had already drawn a certain conclusion from the churning of his thoughts. So, even before Poreshbabu, he had no reservations in pouring out the words accumulated within. The gist of what he had to say was this: unless we defer completely to society by following its rules, we obstruct its innermost, profoundest purpose; for this purpose lies deep, and every man does not have the capacity to perceive it clearly. Therefore we must have the strength to obey society even by suspending our judgement.
Poreshbabu calmly heard Gora out. When he stopped, rather embarrassed at his own garrulity, Poresh remarked: ‘I accept your premise. It is true that the Maker of our destiny has a certain purpose in creating each community. Nor is that purpose clearly evident to everyone. But it is human duty to try and perceive it clearly. There is no fulfillment in following rules blindly, like members of the plant kingdom.’
‘What I’m saying is, that only if we first follow our society’s dictates in every respect, can we attain a pure awareness of our society’s true purpose,’ Gora persisted. ‘To oppose society is not only to hinder its progress but also to misinterpret it.’
‘Without opposition and obstacles, the truth can never be tested,’ Poreshbabu countered. ‘Not that the truth is tested once by a group of wise men in some ancient age, after which the matter is permanently settled. The truth must be discovered afresh by the people of every era, through obstacles and conflict. Anyway, I don’t wish to argue about all this. I believe in the personal freedom of human beings. It is only by attacking the truth with this personal freedom that we can discover what is permanent and what is passing fancy. Upon that knowledge and the pursuit of that knowledge depends the welfare of society.’
With these words Poresh rose to his feet, and Gora, too, arose from his chair. ‘I had thought I would have to remain somewhat aloof from this wedding, at the request of the Brahmo Samaj, and that you, as Binoy’s friend, would see the whole thing through. That is a friend’s advantage over a relative, for he does not have to endure the onslaughts of society. But since you have deemed it your duty to abandon Binoy, the entire responsibility now rests with me. I must accomplish this task alone.’
How alone Poreshbabu felt, Gora did not realize at the time. Borodasundari opposed Poreshbabu, the daughters of the house were not pleased, and fearing Harimohini’s objections, Poresh had not even consulted Sucharita about wedding preparations. Meanwhile, everyone in the Brahmo Samaj had taken up cudgels against him, and the couple of letters he had received from Binoy’s khudo, his paternal uncle, abused him as an evil, scheming kidnapper.
As soon as Poresh left, Abinash and some other members of Gora’s group came in, ready to make fun of Poreshbabu. But Gora objected:
‘If you are incapable of respecting someone worthy of it, at least spare yourselves the pettiness of mocking him.’
Once again Gora had to immerse himself in his customary activities involving his group. But how distasteful everything seemed! It was all worthless. This could not be described as work at all. There was no soul in it. Until now, it had never struck Gora so forcibly that merely by saying things on paper, or giving speeches, or forming groups, nothing real was being accomplished; rather, a vast amount of useless effort was being accumulated. Broadened by his newfound powers, his life-stream now demanded a true channel where its current could flow in full force. His present activities no longer pleased him.
Meanwhile, arrangements were under way for the ceremonial penance. Gora had been particularly enthusiastic about these preparations. This penance was not only for the impurity of life in prison, it seemed a way for him to purify himself in every respect, to be reborn into his field of work with a new body. They had obtained instructions about the rites of penance, the date and venue had also been fixed, and invitations were ready for distribution to famous teachers and scholars of East and West Bengal. The affluent among Gora’s group had also raised the funds. All members of the group had assumed that the country had at last undertaken a worthwhile task. Abinash had secretly conspired with his group that on this occasion, all the learned men present at the gathering would confer upon Gora the title of ‘Hindupradeep,’ Light of the Hindu World, along with flowers, sandalwood paste, rice grains, holy durba grass, and sundry other religious offerings. Gora would be gifted a sandalwood box containing some Sanskrit shlokas inscribed in gold and signed by all the learned Brahmans present. Alongside, a volume of Max Mueller’s edition of the Rig Veda, bound in priceless Morocco leather, would be presented to him by the seniormost and most eminent professor, as a token of blessing from Bharatvarsha. This would beautifully express the feeling that in the modern era of depravity, it was Gora who was the true guardian of the sacred Vedic faith.
So, unbeknownst to Gora, members of his group conspired daily to make the event extremely appealing and productive.
~65~
Harimohini received a letter from her deor Kailash. He wrote:
By the grace of the revered One, all is well here. Please relieve us of our anxiety by informing us of your well-being.
Needless to say, ever since Harimohini had left their home, they had been burdened with this anxiety, but had made no effort to address the lack of information about her well-being. After exhausting all the news about Khudi, Potol, Bhajahari and everyone else, Kailash wrote in conclusion:
Please send us proper details about the paatri, the prospective bride. You inform us she would be about twelve or thirteen years old, but she is a growing girl and looks a little mature—no harm in that. From what you indicate about her claims to property, if you let us know after proper verification whether her ownership is valid for life or permanently, I shall consult our elders about it. I think they would not object. I am relieved to hear that the paatri is committed to the Hindu faith, but we must try to suppress the fact that she was reared in a Brahmo household all this while. Hence you must not divulge this to anyone else. The lunar eclipse on the next full moon is auspicious for a bath in the Ganga. If possible, I shall visit you then to see the girl.
She had somehow remained in Kolkata all these days, but at the faint hope of returning to her in-laws’ home, Harimohini lost all patience. Each day of exile now seemed intolerable. ‘Let me talk to Sucharita at once and fix a day to complete the task,’ she began to wish. But she did not dare make haste. The more closely she observed Sucharita, the more clearly she realized she had not understood her. Harimohini waited for an opportunity, and became even more vigilant about Sucharita’s conduct. Now she tended to spend less time at her prayers than before, no longer willing to let Sucharita out of her sight. Sucharita noticed Gora’s visits had ceased abruptly. She realized Harimohini must have said something to him.