Gratitude
By Khaleel Jooste
Copyright Khaleel Jooste 2015
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I seek protection from satan the outcast and I begin in the name of Allah, The Gracious, The Merciful.
Ayat Al-Kursi
Allah - there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of [all] existence. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is [presently] before them and what will be after them, and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills. His Throne extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not. And He is the Most High, the Most Great. Surah Al- Baqarah (The Cow) 2:255
As Allah wills
#Appreciation #Family #Love
#Patience
Gratitude
2013
“You’re late.”
He stares her up and down. He shakes his head.
“Well, Merry Christmas to you too.” She brushes something off her dark-green coat. It reaches to her knees.
“I made an effort to be on time. I only expect the same.”
He continues to stare at her.
She was wearing black stockings and ankle length boots.
“Sorry, I got held up. Last minute things for my mom.”
She extends a hand in greeting.
“I’m Mya.”
He shakes it. He observes her firm grip. Her fingers soft.
“Omar.”
She takes a wet wipe from her huge, beige leather bag and wipes the hand she just shook his hand with.
He notices.
“My hands ain’t dirty.”
She giggles.
“Are we gonna stand out here all night? Where you takin’ me?” She tosses the wet wipe in a bin. Straightens up and stares at him.
“Ugh, ugh. Thought you’d like to go to, you know, the ballet with me.” He clears his throat and stares at the side-walk.
“That sounds fun. Let’s go.” She closes the huge gap between them and gestures that they should start walking.
“Just a second. I…” He trails off. Worried expression on his face as he looks around.
“Somethin’ wrong.” Mya looks in the direction he was staring.
“Tiger, where you at?” He mumbles to himself.
“Who’s Tiger? A friend of yours? I thought this was a date.” She shakes her head. Tight lips.
He continues to look around.
“My best friend in the world he is. He’s my cat.” Giving up he starts walking.
“I’m allergic to cats. I hope you don’t have any cat hair on you. I get really stuffy and might go into shock.” She moves away from him and takes another wet wipe from her bag. She wipes her hands.
“He was gonna join us. Guess it’s good he’s not here. Allergic you say?” Deep frown on his forehead.
“Cats, dust, peanuts, latex, fish, shell-fish and all oil based lubricants.”
“I can see we are going to get along very well.” He pulls his beanie tighter over his head as they cross the road.
“You think?” She smiles eagerly.
“I’m sure were gonna be the best of friends.” He puts his hands in his pockets as they pass the park. The theatre was not too far from there. He kept looking around.
Where can Tiger be?
“I’m so glad to be outta the house. Christmas is always busy. The whole family’s there. My brother’s annoyin’ girlfriend and not to mention my dad’s stepmother that everybody hates. Her children always come too and they always annoy me. They make this really dry turkey and ooooh greasy fried foods. I can’t stand those. My dad is always in a bad mood, so he takes it out on mom and she takes it out on me. I don’t know why, because there is my brother too, but he gets away with everything.”
She takes a quick breathe, takes out a wet wipe from her bag, wipes her hands and continues.
“Last night we had to stay up late to listen to my dad’s stepmother sing Christmas carols. That one likes to hear her own voice. Pity no one has the courage to tell her she sounds awful.”
He nods and looks around.
Tiger, where you at?
“She also made us drink that horrible concoction she calls her Christmas speciality. I still get sick thinkin’ about it. It is really terrible. And every year the same thing. No one has the courage to tell her that it tastes awful.”
He nods.
“My brother keeps encouragin’ her to make it. I think it’s so that he can see us all drink it and pretend to like it. He always says we are all so pretentious, so he will let us suffer because of it. He never drinks any of it. But he constantly compliments her and tells her how great it smells. She likes him. Perhaps a little too much too. She always wanted grandchildren and none of her own kids have any. That’s why she lets him get away with the ridiculous things he says.
Tiger… probably with the girls again.
إ
“Full house tonight, Angel-face. Even the mayor’s here.” He walks into her dressing room.
“Just what I need, Bob. Thanks.” She breathes in deep.
“Relax, Princess. I told you tonight’s gonna be great.”
“I don’t know, Bob. Maybe I should let Maria do it.”
“That blonde’s got two left feet. No grace what so ever.” He walks towards her and slowly reaches a hand to her shoulder and squeezes it softly.
“It’s just nerves, Kimberly. It’s gonna be fine.”
She puts a hand on his and looks in the direction of his voice.
“With the mayor here, it’d better be. After last time…” she trails off and sighs. Removes her hand from his and holds it to her stomach.
“I think I’m going to be sick.” She runs into the restroom, shuts the door as Bob tries to join her.
“Kimberly, are you alright.” He shakes his head and paces in front of the door.
“Yes, Dad. I don’t need you seeing me… whatever. I’ll be out in a sec.”
“Where’s Kim?” Asks Drew as he enters the dressing room. It’s almost time for her to go on stage.
“She’s in the restroom. She’ll be out in a second.” Bob coughs loudly and stops pacing about. He goes and sits in a chair by the huge mirror against the wall.
“How was the children’s show this afternoon?”
“It was awesome, Mr Jones. The children all adored her.” He smiles and goes to sit next to him; on the desk.
“She really has a way with children.” He seems to stare off into space, as if remembering something.
‘How was the piano? Did it sound okay?” Bob sits up straight and looks Drew straight in the eye.
“Sounded perfect to me, Mr Jones. What? Did she give you a hard time again?” He chuckles.
“Doesn’t she always?” Bob shakes his head.
“Don’t worry, everything was perfect. Those orphans had a great time. They didn’t want her to stop playing. Those that never met her before couldn’t believe that she was blind at all.” Again, he seems to stare off into space.
“Yes, she has adapted so well to it that one forgets. Wish she would stop walking around in the dark though. Nearly gave me a heart attack this morning.”
“She got me like that a couple a times too.” He laughs out loud. “Nearly hit myself silly against the wall from the shock.”
“Yes, it unnerves me to be spooked like that.” Bob stands up and goes to the restroom door.
“Kimberly Amber-Jane. Get your butt out here. It’s time for your solo. You haven’t even dresse
d yet.”
“She’s not dressed? What’s wrong with her? She’ll be late?”
Drew panics.
“Relax. She’s a bit nervous. You know… Last time is still fresh in her mind. She can’t seem to let it go.” Bob shakes his head.
“But that was not her fault. It was an accident. Does she blame herself?” Drew’s forehead creases. He looks down.
“Terrible accident, but still, only an accident.” He gets off the table and paces the room, mimicking Bob.
“Would you stop that?” Bob was more nervous. “You’re making me anxious.”
“What? The pacing?” Drew stops.
“Yes.” Bob shakes his head.
Drew does the same, but stops his pacing. He was dressed in purple. Barefoot. Still make-up on his face.
“Where’s your shoes? Aren’t you going back on?”
“Yes, but only in the last sequence. Those shoes hurt my feet. Think they’re a bit too small, never liked ballet shoes to be quite honest.”
He sits flat on the floor and starts rubbing his feet.
Kimberly opens the restroom door and walks to stand by the huge mirror. She stares at it as if she could see herself.
“Your face is fine,” says Bob and squeezes her shoulder.
“Where’s your dress. You need to get ready?” He looks about in the room.
“It’s in the closet by the door. Maria left it there for me. She got it from the dry cleaners this morning. Hope there’s nothing wrong with it.” She gestures to the closet and Bob goes to open it.
“Hope you don’t intend sitting there while I get dressed?” She turns and faces Drew.
“Sorry, of course not.” He gets up. Surprised look on his face.
He shakes his head. Kimberly could hear a pin drop.
“I didn’t mean... too... I came to see if you were ready. Your solo is up next. You’d better hurry up?” He walks to the door.
“I’ll wait for you outside. Don’t be too long.”
“Thanks. Thank you, Drew. I’ll be quick. Don’t worry.”
He closes the door.
Kimberly takes her dress from Bob.
“Best hurry up, Angel-face. What would the mayor say if you didn’t pitch?” He laughs.
“Very funny, Bob. Probably shut us down quicker than you can say fetch.” She unzips the bag and takes out the dress.
“Do you mind?” she stares at him.
“If your mother…” He takes out his inhaler and takes a few puffs. “I’ll be outside.”
“Bob…” She reaches with her hand.
He takes it.
She walks over to him.
“Stop that, Bob. Please. I am fine. You can talk about mom whenever you want. Okay?”
“Sure sweet cheeks.” He gives her a kiss on the cheeks and leaves the dressing room.
Kimberly takes out her color talker and holds it to her dress. She presses the button.
Dark, luscious, purple says the robotic male voice.
Satisfied, she puts down the talker and gets dressed.
أ
He slips through the roof opening, into the theatre. Walks along the many beams and makes his way to the stage area.
Where is she?
He scans the stage. Disappointed, he walks along the beams, further to the back.
He listens.
“Where is Kimberly? She’ gonna ruin the whole show!” Maria paces about.
“If she is not here in the next minute, I’m gonna do it myself.” She takes out her pocket mirror and checks her make-up.
The tension he was feeling, leaves his body. His face relaxes more. Satisfied smile comes to his face.
He stares at Maria pacing about.
“I know the moves off by heart,” she says that with a smirk, “I was born for that part.” She paces more. Stares down the hallway and looks at her watch.
“If this carries on, things are definitely going to be worse than last year. You mark my words.” She pops her hip and snaps a finger.
He crosses the beams to his right and rests against the pillar that goes all the way through the roof.
He shakes his head.
What’s up with her?
He waits.
ج
Kimberly leaves her dressing room. Drew is immediately by her side.
“Kim…” He catches his breath.
“Wow!” He gasps out loud.
“What? What? Is there something wrong?” Kimberly panics and clutches the bottom of her dress, as if to pull it down.
“Is it too short?” Her face immediately upset.
“No,” he swallows hard, “everything’s… You look great, Kim. Wow.” He puts her arm in hers and gestures for her to start walking.
“Thanks, Drew. I’ll take your word for it.” She seems less nervous. Tries to smile, but only manages a curve of her top lip.
“We still have some time. Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be awesome.” Drew tries to reassure her.
“I hope so. A lot depends on this show being a success.” She holds onto Drew’s arm tighter.
He squeezes her hand.
“I know.” He looks at her worried face. He frowns too.
“Don’t worry, Kim. Everything will be okay. Remember to breath and you can’t go wrong.” He manages a smile.
“In and out, in and out. I’ll do my best to remind myself. Wouldn’t want to end up blue in my face. Perhaps my face will match my dress.” She manages a soft laugh, but stiffens quick.
“This way.”
He leads her to the stage area.
‘Finally!” shouts Maria.
“Where have you been?! You’ll ruin everything!”
“Maria, calm down. She’s here now. Back off.” Drew eyes her up and down. Sharp twist in his brow.
She puffs her cheeks and walks away.
“That girl needs a real attitude adjustment. Perhaps a whole new personality.” Drew removes his hand from Kimberly’s and lets go of her arm.
“She’s worried. This is important to all of us. That’s all.” Kimberly smiles sincerely.
“Sure, Kim. Always covering for everyone.” He shakes his head.
“Any way, here’s your position. Remember, twenty paces and you’ll be in the centre of the stage.”
He kisses her on her cheek softly.
“Break a leg.”
He backs away.
“Remember to have fun.”
Kimberly smiles as he walks away. She breathes in deeply. There is loud applause as the performance before hers ends. She starts counting.
Loosens her fingers and takes a deep breath in, holds it for a few seconds, then exhales and takes her position.
The orchestra starts to play.
خ
He hangs from the beam right above where Kimberly was positioned. He lets go and lands softly in front of her. He looks at the audience.
Sure are a lot of people here.
He looks at her.
She stares him straight in the eyes.
Can’t believe she’s blind.
He looks her up and down.
Smiles.
What a beauty.
He focuses.
It’s now or never.
He closes his eyes as the orchestra starts to play.
خ س
“I love you, Princess.” He kisses her forehead.
“I love you too, Daddy.” She grabs his index finger with her small hand.
“Is Mommy going to be home tomorrow?”
Her big brown eyes expectant. She grips his finger tighter.
He looks away. Stares at the picture on the wall. She drew it when she was five. It was a picture of her with him and his wife. The picture said,
Me, Mommy, Daddy and Them.
Below Them was a big blue-purple circle.
He turns and faces her again.
“Not sure, Angel.” He shrugs.
“What is wrong with her, Daddy?” Her brown eyes serious; it penetra
tes his façade; it unnerves him. It was like she could see everything.
He looks away.
“The doctor doesn’t know yet, cupcakes.” He lies.
Tries not to look at her eyes.
“Is it them? Did they do something to Mommy?”
He looks at her. Tries to hold eye contact, but can’t for long.
He gets up and goes to the bedroom door.
“Get some sleep. We’ll see what the doctor says tomorrow.” He switches off the light.
“Good night, my angel. Daddy loves you.”
He closes the door.
She stares at the ceiling. Blue-purple lights against the ceiling.
“Night. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” She blows a kiss and closes her eyes.
ب ج
Breathe in and out.
One two three, one two three.
Turn.
Yes.
Up.
Down.
Right then left.
One two three, one two three.
Don’t forget to feed the cat.
Yes.
One two three, one two three.
Turn.
Back.
Yes.
Up.
Down.
Breathe in and out.
Right.
Now left.
Turn.
Mom said not to get too close.
That she did.
Turn.
Now right.
Stop.
Where did I put my talker?
Up.
Down.
Pause.
What’s that?
Hold.
Breathe in and out.
Did I remember to lock up?
Breathe in and out.
Turn.
Turn again.
Slower.
Lift.
Stop.
What’s that?
Go back.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
I hope I don’t faint.
Turn.
Turn.
I should have had something to eat.
Yes.
Mom was right.
Yes.
Turn.
Breathe in and out.
Stop.
Hold.
What’s that?
Turn.
Slower.
Mom was always right.
Slow down.
Stop.
Pause.
Breathe in and out.
Hold.
That’s right.
I should have listened to mom.
Hold.
Hold tight.
Too tight.
Let go.
Pause.
Breathe in and out.
Faster.
Stop.
Hold.
Hold tight.
No.
Mom said to let him go.
She was right.
No.
Hold.
Hold tight.
Yes.
Let go.
Stop.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Now left.
Stop.
Right quick.
Stop.
Please don’t let me go.
I need you.
Stop.
What about dad?
Pause.
What’s that?
Move.
Please don’t stop.
Dad was wrong.
It was not the cat.
Turn.
Breathe in and out.
Stop.
Hold.
Hold tight.
Pause.
Almost home.
No.
Breathe in and out.
Drew is such a nice guy.
Stop.
No.
Left.
Turn.
Right.
Turn.
Left.
Spin.
Oops.
I forgot to twist.
No.
That’s later.
Turn.
Stop.
Stop.
That’s what mom said.
Yes.
Why didn’t I listen?
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
I should have had that apple.
Yes.
Stop.
What’s that?
Hold.
Hold tight.
Please don’t let me go.
Stop.
Hold.
Hold tight.
Too tight.
Don’t ever let me go.
Stop.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Stop.
Pause.
What’s Maria’s problem?
Stop.
Breathe in and out.
Stop.
Faster now.
Twist.
Lift.
Down.
Stop.
Pause.
Hold.
What do you want?
Stop.
Turn.
Turn.
What’s that?
Breathe in and out.
Hold.
Hold.
A bit longer.
Jump.
Stop.
Hold.
Hold.
Please.
Don’t let me go.
I need you.
I do.
I beg you.
Please.
That’s it.
Wonder what the mayor will do?
What’s that?
Stop.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
Please.
Breathe in and out.
I need you.
Please.
She hears it.
A beat.
Soft.
What’s that?
It beats again. This