Read Hawaiian Shirts in the Electric Chair Page 2


  that went extinct

  with the letter

  and the barn.

  and i think “all

  this animal has to do

  is shit

  in the right place

  and it makes me happy.”

  that’s it.

  i’m pretty sure if there was a god

  he would’ve stopped evolution

  at the

  dog.

  of course, the dog can operate

  with no regard because it

  doesn’t know the greatest

  fear- that someday

  it will

  die.

  but as animals

  grow weak,

  and the weak

  are killed

  and eaten,

  humans grow old

  in community

  homes. and sometimes

  they’ve lost it, and drool

  on bingo boards and smile

  at the space between

  them and time. but usually

  they haven’t. and

  because they

  are old and

  boring they’re

  stuck away, to ride out the days alone,

  and watch their roommates

  drop out one by one.

  and at the end, their very first

  learned lesson becomes their last-

  if they want to keep everyone

  happy,

  all they have to do

  is shit in the right place.

  My Friend Tom

  my friend Tom always understood me,

  even at the times

  when I scared

  myself.

  I was always screaming for an audience

  up on a guitar amp

  and then I’d drink too much

  and quiet down from the pills.

  Tom just sat there smiling

  sipping a dark beer

  enjoying it,

  watching me go sweaty and crazy,

  knowing that we’d both end up at the same place.

  and that’s what I learned after my youth passed me by.

  I wanted to be great, but never proved it

  with more than words,

  and by 25 the only thing I was running

  on was caffeine.

  Tom wanted to be the best average person he could be

  and always had been

  since the day I’d met him.

  and as much as I hate people

  who have figured out how to be happy,

  Tom is one

  that I think deserves it

  This Time, It Was

  Going To Be Me

  tonight,

  I decided it

  was time to be

  the other guy.

  some men

  cannot

  figure out women.

  I too,

  was one of those men.

  and

  in earlier times,

  I would take the same

  strategy of defeat,

  “nice guys finish last”

  I’d say.

  “someday they’ll all want me

  and they won’t have me.”

  but someday never

  came.

  and

  the bars kept closing

  and the girls

  never went

  home

  alone.

  so, when a Slovakian girl

  with eyes

  like a blue hawaiian

  lost

  on a subway in the

  cool part

  of new york

  looked at me and

  said, “

  i want the american

  experience”, I knew

  it was time to change

  tactics.

  we went to

  st. marks.

  even if

  she

  didn’t dig the freak show

  I knew we could

  find weed. bob dylan

  lived here I said.

  cool.

  bukowski

  wrote right here, I said,

  on this stoop.

  cool.

  I pointed at

  the st. marks hotel.

  “and that’s where

  sid

  killed

  nancy.”

  I knew something

  about my facts was

  wrong but I didn’t

  stop.

  she held the flask up

  to her mouth.

  I took it and

  kissed her

  before she could

  say

  cool.

  later,

  we said

  goodnight

  and I moved

  down

  7th avenue.

  I looked up

  and

  saw the hotel chelsea.

  EVERYTHING

  I told that curious

  slovakian had been a lie.

  bob, bukowski, dog diced nancy

  they’d all lived here

  not st. marks.

  and then

  I smiled

  because

  she’d

  never know the

  difference and

  I

  got to kiss her

  anyway.

  tonight,

  I decided it

  was time to be

  the other guy,

  and

  I won

  Turnpike Blues

  he looked at me

  as uninterested

  and defeated as a 25 year old

  on his way to a shitty job

  in a shitty town

  could, and asked,

  “have you ever thought about a necktie?

  I mean … why?”

  it was a question someone

  who hasn’t spent hours

  driving alone,

  to somewhere they didn’t want to go,

  could never understand.

  I looked at the landscape of the

  New Jersey Turnpike, right at the

  starting line of what was sure to be

  another dead

  and eternal winter, and

  the air stank like a chemically enhanced

  napalm fart.

  then I looked down at my necktie

  hoping, somehow, it wouldn’t be there.

  it was.

  I was a manufactured monkey like everyone else.

 

  I lit a cigarette to dilute

  the fart smell.

  Ernest and I exchanged a silent nod.

  we worked an

  hour later than was scheduled.

  I fell asleep

  i fell asleep

  thinking

  about lorraine’s

  toes,

  and how she’d

  never show

  them to me.

  but

  she let me

  see

  everything no one

  else is

  ever supposed to

  see.

  now, at night

  i don’t stay up

  thinking

  about our bar

  crawls

  or parking lot

  sex.

  i fall asleep

  thinking

  about lorraine’s

  feet,

  and how she

  never showed

  them to me.

  Arrested Development

  her parents said

  -believe in God

  -believe in yourself

  -believe in family

  -don’t have sex it will

  leave you

  empty

  i thought of

  these things, and

  many other things

  as she pulle
d into

  a park, turned off her headlights

  and lit a

  cigarette

  I said, “I

  don’t think this is

  a good idea”

  she took off

  her shirt

  I said, “I can’t

  I’m dirty”

 

  she unhinged her

  leopard bra

  I said, “jesus,

  if I ever have a daughter

  there’s no way to stop her,

  is there?”

  she handed me a

  water bottle and

  said, Go Clean Off

  her parents were asleep

  when we got back, but the goddamn

  brother-

  3 feet shorter than me

  100 pounds lighter, but

  with a better haircut, said

  “I didn’t say you

  could come back over”.

  he smiled to himself, as if

  he had won something

  I smiled back, and thought

  if that’s what you need

  then take it ... I’ve already

  helped myself.

  I Liked Her So I Never

  Should Have Talked To Her Again

  i’ve been tricked

  before

  “i don’t usually do this”

  will make a man

  carry you

  down the street,

  carry you

  in

  his mind

  flat stomach

  still

  after all those drinks,

  your help with the bra

  “i wish my breasts were bigger”

  i don’t

  no age

  pink

  like you were born

  yesterday

  “i like you”, you say,

  “let’s wait”

  i leave

  smiling

  at cats on the sidewalk

  a week

  later

  all i have

  is a memory

  and a cd with your songs.

  i didn’t realize

  you

  were the

  now or never

  kind

  i still carry you

  hoping

  you’ll

  look back.

  in my mind,

  down the street,

  i found a little bit

  more

  to give you

  but time doesn’t

  smile

  when

  you’re alone.

  the only thing

  left

  is empty the ashtray

  and

  move on

  to the next disappointment

  The Things Men Say On

  Their Way To Work

  “I worked for

  an airline

  once. Younger

  than you. Tix for $20.

  Anywhere

  in the world. I

  went to

  Paris.

  With three other stewardesses.

  Man,

  you should’ve seen

  me

  then. I saw

  Paris.

  Sure.

  I saw it from

  the airport to the hotel.

  I saw it on

  the way back

  too.

  The rest of the

  time I saw

  Gail

  Lily

  and Katie.

  I saw the places they’d never

  even seen.

  What do you think

  about that?”

  I think you

  made the right

  decision.

  Paris has been Paris

  for 700 years.

  And it’ll

  probably stay

  that way until

  the end.

  But you saw

  Gail

  Lily

  and Katie.

  Maybe 100 other

  men could say

  that.

  And I’m sure

  none of them

  will age

  as well

  as

  Paris.

  “I went

  to Florida once,

  too.”

  Not

  even Gail

  Lily

  and Katie

  could make

  Florida

  worth while.

  “I brought my wife.

  I saw every

  inch of

  Florida, but I barely

  saw

  the hotel.”

  See? I said.

  You

  let yourself become

  one of those

  and you got a 2nd

  place story.

  Florida

  will still be

  Florida

  in 700 years

  and it’ll

  still be

  nothing

  to write home about.

  What happened to

  the passion? The stride?

  God put his hand

  right to his

  head and saluted you.

  Gail

  Lily

  and Katie,

  for no damn

  reason at all.

  And you

  traded it

  all in

  for

  Florida?

  Another one

  sold his present

  because

  they told him

  his life could have

  a purpose.

  And now

  he’s driving

  a car

  with no

  working windows

  and two full ashtrays.

  Waiting for the day

  he can save enough

  to see

  Paris

  again.

  My Hallway

  Hangs No Masterpiece

  i thought of her young,

  as a canvas

  sitting

  on a towel.

  a brush with a fine head

  a brush with thick hair

  and

  acrylic paints

  (the simple colors

  red,

  yellow,

  black,

  etc)

  form a circle around the canvas.

  but the paint stays capped,

  the brushes stay in their plastic,

  no lines on the canvas

  it can be anything now.

  the artists waits

  and watches

  years pass.

  first comes the

  red.

  the lines begin,

  colors mix. sometimes

  they mesh,

  mostly

  they mess.

  the lines

  don’t follow patterns

  the foundation is covered,

  the canvas stops drinking

  the acrylics.

  colors can’t stay clean

  anymore.

  they sit deep

  waiting

  for new

  inspiration

  oil.

  it takes three

  or four

  layers

  and then it’s permanent.

  it spreads easily

  and it’s expensive,

  only a few

  hands hold that brush.

  but those

  are the colors

  that never fade

  to

  the periphery,

  and they

  shine

  under museum

  and gallery lights

  until

  the switch

  flicks

  south

  i see

  her


  now, with a golden

  frame and the strokes

  of camel hair

  from

  corner

  to corner.

  and she smiles

  as she is handed to me

  with a ribbon

  but no brush,

  an ornament

  without imperfection,

  the priceless

  painting

  to hang

  and to hold.

  i’m worthy

  to receive, but i can’t help

  wondering why-

  why was

  there no brush for

  my hand?

  no space

  left

  for my

  eye?

  i saw

  the other’s

  vision

  but they were all

  wrong,

  was i born

  with

  shaking hands?

  my vision

  so disturbed?

  if i had the

  heart

  only

  i could know

  the concept

  of

  colors

  and

  lines,

  only

  i could see

  the priceless

  piece

  hanging like an ornament

  in a hallway

  where all candles and

  light

  shine.

  i think of her now as a canvas,

  dealt and sold

  to a patron

  who

  understands

  layers and limits,

  and appreciates

  the paint

  as it

  ages with dust

  and time.

  my hallway

  is

  empty

  with light,

  waiting to illuminate a

  gold framed canvas

  that only needed

  one make

  of a dress,

  one color of

  paint,

  no patterns

  or lines.

  I saw in its

  infancy

  an overall

  concept of beauty

  that no color

  could define.

  if it was

  my

  masterpiece

  i might have painted

  sunny

  like june

  or blue

  like july

  but more likely

  i would’ve

  left it

  like the original

  architect,

  and

  the canvas

  would have stayed-

  clean

  and

  white

  Lorraine

  I didn’t know she was drunk

  until,

  she threw up across her desk.

  they say “don’t write about love

  because it’s lame

  because it’s all been said before

  because by now,

  everyone knows it doesn’t exist.”

  but this was it,

  the real thing

  all the burning

  and desires

  the smell of rhone

  the smell of rain

  she wretched back and forth

  (the fish tank lights of fluorescent classrooms found their subject)

  the rest of the class sat in front of their computers

  like rookies in a police academy

  obedient

  loyal,

  sipping cups of coffee for amphetamine psychosis

  becoming machines in hopes of not being replaced by them.

  like the scabs who cross picket lines,

  like the prisoner of war who builds bullets,

  getting a paycheck today to extinct tomorrow.

  but not her

  she is a rebel

  in a time

  when only pop music is cool,

  when the last revolution

  wasn’t televised

  but free wi-fied

  and in an age where being dangerous

  is supporting gays

  and ‘liking’ France

  on your Facebook page,

  sometimes

  all it takes is public vomiting