Chapter 36
Andrew was smitten; there was no doubt about it. He and Alyssa had shared a few more dinners and a movie. Every time Andrew was with her, he felt as if he was in a waking dream. She grew more and more beautiful, and his respect for her strong faith grew the more he got to know her. They hadn’t discussed whether they were actually dating or not, and Andrew hadn’t even tried to kiss her. He wanted to make sure that God was leading them forward, and somehow he felt that Alyssa deserved the greatest of caution and care when it came to the physical side of a relationship. She never got too close or voiced any expectations; she allowed Andrew to lead their relationship. This was so different from any relationship he had ever had, and he knew it was because he was different. With other girls, he would have already had a heavy make-out session or two, the temptation already rising. But with Alyssa he felt as if they had all the time in the world. It wasn’t that he didn’t find her attractive, she was dizzyingly beautiful and graceful and amazing. Actually, it was the strong pull of attraction that caused him to keep his distance. He was almost afraid that a single kiss would open the floodgates. He occasionally held her hand, and even that small touch caused his heart to pound.
After several weeks, Andrew knew he needed to tell Alyssa what he was feeling. He decided to make dinner for her. He was not a bad cook, after all. He could throw frozen lasagna in the oven as well as anyone else. He spent the week praying about his desires, God’s will, and whether or not he was following God’s direction. He had never wanted anything so badly in his life, but he was willing to accept God’s no if that was the answer; however, he sure hoped he wouldn’t have to do that.
On a Friday night, Alyssa came over to his apartment for dinner. She brought some brownies she had baked earlier that day. When Andrew opened the door, the sight of her standing there, her hair pulled up, oven mitts holding the pan of brownies, he thought to himself, “Yep, that’s what my wife looks like.” The thought made him nervous, so he shoved it to the back of his mind and said, “Hey, come on in.” He took the brownies from her and placed them on the stove.
“It smells great in here. What’s for supper?”
“I made lasagna,” Andrew replied.
“You made lasagna? From scratch?”
“No, but Marie Callander did,” he teased.
Alyssa laughed that laugh Andrew loved and asked, “Mind if I look around?”
“That’s fine. I’m going to check on the lasagna.”
Alyssa looked around the house. She called to him from the study. “You were a part of all of these ad campaigns? Wow.”
Andrew walked into the room and said sheepishly, “Yeah. I had lots of help though. We all work as a team.” As he surveyed the campaigns he had worked on with Kelly, he felt a pang of guilt, but he tried to put it out of his mind. This was his big night with Alyssa.
Alyssa looked at him. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re too good to be true? Do you have any faults?”
Her question took him by surprise, and his cheeks grew warm. “Well,” he cleared his throat. “I have quite a few faults. I just hide them well,” he grinned. “The lasagna is done by the way, but it needs to cool. I thought we could talk for a while.”
The walked into the den and sat on the couch. Andrew’s heart was jumping around, and his mouth was dry. Why was it she did that to him every time he saw her? “I wanted to tell you a few things,” he said.
“Okay,” Kelly replied, giving him her full attention.
“Well,” Andrew began. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together, and we’re getting to know each other pretty well. I just thought, you know, I would tell you how I feel about all this.” He paused, trying to read her face. She just smiled and nodded. “Okay, well, I really admire you – your faith, your openness, and you’re so…well, anyway. I would like to move this forward a little, to officially call this dating. I have pretty strong feelings about you. And…well, that’s it. What do you think?”
Kelly laughed softly and moved a little closer. “I’ve been praying about this too. I have to admit; I feel more than friendship too. I think…I think it’s fine to move forward.”
The urge to kiss Alyssa was so strong; Andrew felt he would die if he didn’t kiss her at that moment. Instead he said,” The lasagna is probably cool enough now. Want to eat?”
Kelly gave him a peculiar look, but she followed him to the table. He pulled the chair back for her and served her. Then he filled his own plate, and they began eating. They were silent for a few minutes, but the silence was comfortable. He was so glad he had finally told her how he felt, and he was extremely relived that she felt the same way. Of course, he knew she might not feel exactly the same. Andrew knew his feelings were stronger than he had indicated. The fact was; he was already in love with Alyssa.
After dinner, they cut the brownies and went back to the couch. Kelly had brought a movie, something light and funny, and they watched it, laughing and talking. As the evening passed, Andrew grew nervous. He had to kiss her; he just had to. After the movie was over, he turned toward her. “Alyssa, I don’t think I can stand it another minute. I really want to kiss you.”
“I was beginning to wonder, “she teased.
His put a hand on her face and leaned forward. The first kiss was short, light. Then they moved closer and their lips parted. Alyssa wrapped her arms around Andrew’s neck, and he pulled her close. Before long, he began trembling, and he pulled away, taking a deep breath. Alyssa pulled away too, and looked at him, blushing. “I think we’re going to have to be careful about that.”
“Me too,” Andrew said. But moved in and gave her another light kiss and brushed her cheek.
Alyssa put her hand on the side of his face, and smiled. “Well, it’s getting late. I guess I’d better go.”
Andrew walked Alyssa to the door, and they shared one more kiss before she left. He heard her car start, and she drove away. Andrew leaned against door. “God, I love her. Help me to wait for your timing to tell her.”
On Sunday, Andrew walked into Bible study and sat beside Alyssa. Every once in a while they smiled at each other, but the lesson was very timely that morning. It was about purity and God’s design for intimacy. True, Andrew felt great respect for Alyssa, and they had only kissed, but he knew that God had timed the lesson for them. Andrew’s feelings were so strong for Alyssa; he knew he would have to use all of his strength to resist taking her too far. When the time came to close in prayer, Andrew took Alyssa’ hand, and he knew they were both praying the same thing, that God would direct their relationship and that they would follow his will for purity.
After church that day, Alyssa said she had a surprise for Andrew. They took her car, and she drove them to a hiking trail about 20 miles away. She got a backpack out of the trunk and handed it to Andrew. “You can be chivalrous and carry this,” she teased.
They hiked through the woods and up a hill for about three miles. When they reached a clearing, Alyssa took the backpack and set up a picnic. They sat on the ground and began eating sandwiches and drinking water. They talked about the church service, and Alyssa told him more about her family.
“My mom and dad were really young when they got married. They got married, well, because of me. I guess that’s why I have always been so careful about…things. I don’t want to grieve God, and I don’t want that to happen to me.” She looked away for a moment. “Anyway, when I was ten years old, they divorced.”
Andrew took her hand. “I’m so sorry, Alyssa.” His own parents had been married 35 years, and he couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Alyssa.
“Well, actually.” She smiled, “God did a miracle four years ago. My dad became a Christian and asked my mom to reconcile. They got remarried about six months later. They’re so close and happy now, sometimes it’s almost embarrassing to me seen with them,” she laughed.
Andrew laug
hed with her. “That’s what I want,” he said. “I want to have that kind of love when I get married. I want God to be the center and keep us close forever.”
Alyssa smiled. “Me too. And I know that if I pray and wait for God’s man for me, He can make that happen.”
Andrew’s heart swelled, hoping that he would be that man someday. He didn’t know what to say, so he leaned forward and kissed her. They sat that way for a long time, their kisses growing more and more lengthy. This time, Alyssa pulled back first. “I can’t do much of that. It makes it hard to…not tell you how I feel, and I want God to lead us, not emotion.”
“That’s okay,” Andrew said. “I feel such peace when I am with you, and I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that. Besides,” Andrew took a deep breath. “I think I love you.” He let the breath out slowly. It was out there, and there was no taking it back. If Alyssa didn’t feel the same way, this was probably it; she’d run in the other direction.
She looked at him as if she was looking through to his soul. “I think so too.”
Before they left the clearing, they held hands and prayed, asking God to guide them and keep them in the center of his will. They didn’t kiss or move too close to each other. They both knew that it could lead them to a place where they couldn’t stop. Andrew stood, helped Alyssa up, and they hiked back down to the car.
After church that evening, they both decided to go home instead of going out to dinner. They both felt a little separation would be good for them. Their attraction for each other was so strong. Andrew spent the evening watching television and doing paperwork. He also had a load of wash going in the washer. After transferring his clothes to the dryer, the telephone was rang.
“Hello, this is Andrew.”
“Andrew,” said a broken voice, “It’s Sandy.”
“Sandy, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“No,” Sandy answered, fighting back tears. “Andrew…I lost the baby.” She began crying.
Andrew felt his eyes stinging, and his throat grew tight. “Sandy, I’m so sorry. When did it happen?”
“Well, on Wednesday I started having some problems. The doctor told me to go to bed and rest. But it didn’t help. On Friday, I went back, and…and he told me I was having a miscarriage. I feel so sad, like a part of me has died. I guess in a way it has.”
“How is Mark?”
“He’s devastated. He blames himself because he’s a doctor and he thinks he should have seen the signs. But how could he know? We’re just sort of holding onto each other for dear life right now. I don’t know how I’ll get through this. I wanted this baby so much. And we had tried for so long….” Sandy began crying again.
“Sandy, I’ll come up this weekend. We can talk.”
“No, no. I don’t want you to rearrange your weekend. I’ll be okay.”
“Sandy,” Andrew said, “You were there for me during the worst period of my life. I want to be there for you. Besides, I need to talk to you too. And it’s good news.”
Sandy sighed. “Good news would be great right now. Thanks Andrew, I’ll see you this weekend. Oh, and Andrew, please pray for us.”
“Always, sis. Always.”
Andrew hurt for Sandy and for Mark. And for some reason, he wanted to tell someone. He wanted to tell Alyssa. It was 10:30, and he hoped it wasn’t too late to call. He dialed her number and waited.
“Hello,” Alyssa said.
“Alyssa, I hope it’s not too late.”
“Never too late for you, Andrew. What’s up?”
“My sister just called. I think I told you she was expecting. She called to tell me that she had lost the baby. I just wanted someone to pray for her. She and Mark are crushed.”
“Andrew, I’m so sorry. Of course I’ll pray for them. I can’t imagine how they must be feeling.”
“I’m going up there this weekend. I feel like I need to be there for her. I know we were supposed to go hiking again-“
“Andrew,” Alyssa interrupted, “Being with your sister is more important than any hike. Just be careful, and let them know I’m praying for them.”
Andrew hung up the phone and bowed his head. He prayed that God would comfort Sandy and Mike and, in time, give them a healthy baby. He also thanked God for Alyssa and her unselfishness. He had almost told her he loved her, but it didn’t seem the time, after such bad news. He knew, however, that he couldn’t wait much longer. His love for her was absolutely real. And he needed to tell her if he was going to ask her to marry him, which was exactly what he planned to eventually do.
Andrew called Alyssa several times that week. She always asked about his sister, and she always told him that she was praying for them. On Thursday, the night before he left, he and Alyssa went to dinner. They talked and laughed at the restaurant for over an hour and then headed back to her townhouse to watch a movie. They knew, as always, that they needed to be careful. In fact, Andrew had given Chuck the phone number so that he could call them unexpectedly. That way they never knew when he would call, and they would avoid letting anything get out of hand. This time they watched a drama, and when the story became sad, Alyssa cried freely. Andrew reached over and wiped her tears. Looking at her while she cried, he was struck again by how beautiful she was – inside and out. After the movie they sat holding hands for a while. Andrew had wanted to tell her how he felt for a long time, but on this night he felt a prompting and an urgency to be completely honest. He turned to face her and took both her hands.
“Alyssa, these last several weeks have been the best of my life.”
Alyssa smiled shyly. “Mine too.”
“Alyssa, I love you.”
Tears formed in her eyes. “I love you too,” she whispered.
Andrew pulled her to him, and she laid her head on his shoulder and stroked her hair. “This weekend is going to be so long, not seeing you.” he said. “I wish I could take you with me.”
“Me too, I would love to meet your family. But your sister needs you. There will be other times. But I have to admit, I’ll be counting the hours until you came back.”
Andrew kissed her then, and this time there was no temptation, only joy. Alyssa loved him. He was sure God was pleased, certain that this was His will. After a few minutes, he pulled back and said, “I love you.”
Alyssa laughed softly, “You mentioned that.”
“But I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying it.”
While he was driving home from Alyssa’s townhouse, he thought about their future. He hadn’t talked too much about her to his parents; things had moved so quickly. But he was certain of one thing; he would be talking with them on this trip. They needed to know all about their future daughter-in-law.