And he could easily find a woman who was not a total mess, crying in his arms, running through sidewalk eateries like the fraught heroine of a romantic comedy, needing to get an AIDS test because her dead husband was a piece of shit.
And that was why I whispered, “You really should go.”
I watched his eyes flash before he muttered softly but impatiently, “For fuck’s sake, Kia.”
“Sam, you’re Sampson Cooper, you can find a woman who’s not a pain in the ass, easy.”
“Yeah?” he shot back. “Has it occurred to you that I’m thirty-five and I haven’t?”
Actually, no. It hadn’t occurred to me.
Sam kept talking.
“I got the bitches who are very, very aware I’m Sampson Cooper. Last night, you told me you like Sam Cooper better. Last night, I fucked you, I ate you and you sucked my cock. Not them. They do not see Sam Cooper because they don’t want Sam Cooper. They do not suck my cock; they suck Sampson Cooper’s cock and tell all their friends about it.”
Oh God. That stunk but I bet it was true.
He kept going.
“Then I got the bitches who look good, dress nice and think their shit don’t stink. They are not high maintenance. They are not divas. They define both. They get up and go to bed convinced the world revolves around them, even me. They knock themselves out to do one thing, lead me around by my dick like they have every other guy who’s taken a dip in their pussy then they get pissed and seriously fuckin’ bitchy when they can’t do that.”
That stunk too but I bet it was also true.
Sam continued his litany of his experience with the not so fairer sex.
“Then I got the bitches who play cat and mouse, twistin’ themselves in knots to convince me I’m the cat when I’m always the fuckin’ mouse. I’m not a mouse, Kia, no fuckin’ way. That shit doesn’t fly with me.”
Hmm. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
I didn’t get the chance to decide, he went on.
“Then I got the bitches who are so desperate to keep their claws in me, the whole relationship is a sham. They hide everything and show me nothin’ but what they think I want to see. Some of ‘em are good, even I can’t see through them. Luci can, but I can’t. Then they fuck up, they always fuck up, no one can keep that shit up without eventually fuckin’ up and I see through them and every fuckin’ second they spent with me is a lie because they haven’t given themselves to me.” His hand tangled in my hair. “Not you. Right off the bat, you’re shy, hesitant, you lay it out about your husband and you’re honest that you know who I am. Then you tell me you internet stalked me, your girl’s got a cutout of me and you got a yappy dog. With you, for the first time in a long fuckin’ time, maybe even all the way back to high school, I’m the cat. You are not gettin’ this so I’ll lay it out, I like the challenge and I like it because, even when you withhold from me, I like what I see but when I break through, I see what I’ll get when I finally get all of you. But even with this dance we got goin’, baby, you are not lying, you are not pretending, you’re just you and I’ve had a number of pains in the asses, I know when I find one who’s gonna be worth it.”
“Uh… Sam,” I started then pointed out, “when the cat catches the mouse it usually kills it and eats it.”
He grinned at me, it was different than the sweet, understanding grins he’d been giving me, lots different, so different I felt my nipples tingle just looking at it and his hand drifted through my hair as he pointed out in return, “Yeah, and you like it when I catch my mouse and eat it.”
This was definitely true.
My body melted into his and my eyes dropped to his mouth, his hand in my hair brought my face closer then my eyes shot back to his, my body tensed, my hand pressed into his chest and he stopped.
“I ran through a restaurant like the fraught heroine in a romantic comedy,” I reminded him on a whisper. “That’s crazy. That’s drama. That’s –”
“Real,” he cut me off. “Shit was overwhelming you, you had a reaction and you’re allowed, Kia. You didn’t hide that either.” He moved, rolling me and pulling us down in the bed so my head was to the pillows, his arms were still around me, his torso was resting on mine and his face was super close. “What you didn’t do was, when I fucked up, hurt your feelings, you didn’t call me on it. I keep tellin’ you I’m not him and I’ll keep doin’ it until you work him outta you, baby, but, in a healthy relationship, people fight and in a healthy relationship, a fight does not end with you on the floor takin’ a kick. That shit will never happen with me. In a healthy relationship, you’re allowed to get pissed and in my face. Fuck, I need you to do that so I know what buttons not to push, where I can’t go and avoid those places. And I’ll do the same for you. It’s part of learning how to take care of each other. It’s fighting but it’s a form of communication and it’s also a form of trust. We have words, we come to terms, we learn about each other and we move on stronger.”
This made sense, but…
“Sam, I’m getting that there’s a lot I need to deal with and –”
“I’m here.”
Those two words said so quickly, firmly, they settled in my soul, deep and they felt good there, very good.
But…
“You… I, you…” I hesitated then finished, “You should know that there’s a lot of it and I haven’t dealt with any of it. When Ozzie told me Cooter was dead, he told me it would hit me but he didn’t mean the way it’s turning out it’s hitting me. This, what just happened now, was the first time I cried since Cooter died and not because he’s dead but because I need to mourn the time he took from me. With all the stuff that’s coming up, I don’t think I’m done. I have to talk to my folks, my friends and deal.”
“Who’s Ozzie?” Sam asked.
“The Sheriff. I’ve known him since I was a little girl.”
“Right,” Sam mumbled but said no more.
“Sam?” I called and his arms gave me a squeeze to say he was listening to me. “What I just said, you… maybe you and me… maybe this isn’t the right time and –”
He started chuckling.
And I was so surprised at this reaction, I stopped talking.
Then he said through his chuckles. “Baby, I’m here. Honest to God, even you can’t twist in your head the last two nights we’ve had and the day we shared yesterday and think that it isn’t worth goin’ through some bad shit with you to get to those kinds of good times.”
Oh God. That settled in my soul too and it felt even better.
Sam continued, “We got the rest of Italy and we got Crete. When we’re in Crete, we’ll talk about what we’ll do after Crete.”
“After Crete?”
“Kia, you live in Indiana, I live in North Carolina and this is not a vacation fling.”
“Oh,” I whispered.
This was not a vacation fling. I hadn’t really thought it out beyond the present but it was safe to say the fact that Sam had felt good.
No.
Freaking great.
Sam kept speaking.
“But right now, we got that and what you gotta get is you’re safe to be real with me. Shit comes up, I’m here to help you sort it and, baby, I like where I am a fuckuva lot because you are real, that’s the whole reason I like where I am,” he grinned again, “outside the fact you’re fuckin’ gorgeous, you got great fuckin’ legs, you look good in clothes and a fuckuva lot better out of them.” His grin faded, his eyes changed, they warmed in a way they warmed me and he finished, “So don’t worry about that. If it happens, roll with it, I’m here and I’ll roll with it with you.”
I stared into his warm eyes, they didn’t move, they held mine, firm and steady and the warmth didn’t cool.
He was going to roll with it with me. Like my Dad taking my hand in the haunted house, while everything around me was scary, Sam was offering to take my hand, make me safe and lead me through.
Wherever you are, however you got there, if it’s good
, you’re meant to be there either because you earned it or life led you there and you were smart enough to hold on.
I needed, right then, to be smart enough to hold on.
I pulled in a deep breath.
Then I whispered, “Okay.”
He held my eyes, looking deep, assessing, I knew, where I was at.
Then he decided he liked what he saw and he whispered back, “Okay.”
“We left our food and Luci –” I started but didn’t finish.
Sam bent his head, touched his mouth to mine then in a fluid motion, he rolled us and I found myself on my feet and in his arms by the side of the bed.
I tipped my head back to look at him to see he was already looking down at me.
“You go fix your face,” he ordered and my hand flew to my face but he shook his head and his lips twitched. “Yeah, you’ll think it’s a mess when it’s not but I’m gettin’ from you you give a shit about the way you look so you’ll wanna fix it. I’ll call Luci and tell her you had a thing, it’s sorted and we’ll be back in fifteen. That work for you?”
I nodded.
Sam dropped his head and touched his mouth to mine again.
When he lifted his head an inch, he asked quietly, “Are we sorted?”
I nodded again but added a verbal, “I think so… for now.”
He bent his neck to touch his forehead to mine a second while murmuring, “Good.” Then he let me go, turned me, and with a his hand low at my back giving me a little push toward the bathroom, he muttered, “Face.”
I kept moving toward the bathroom but looked back to see Sam had his hand in his back pocket pulling out his phone, his long legs taking him to the windows.
My legs took me to the bathroom.
Then I looked in the mirror and swallowed a scream.
Eyes red and puffy, mascara everywhere. It was such a mess I had to start from scratch. And Sam had seen me like this and told me it wasn’t a mess.
He was wrong.
But I had fifteen minutes to sort it and get back to Luci which meant I really only had ten.
So I didn’t have time to think about how Sam could think me post-crying jag was not a mess or even how he could see me that way and not even so much as wince.
I had to fix it and get to the restaurant. Luci was alone and probably worried.
And, post-drama (again), I remembered I was still hungry.
Chapter Ten
Skippy’s
“We’ll let you young people enjoy the rest of your evening. Kia, ma chérie, walk with me?”
That was Celeste and I looked at her as she spoke seeing that Thomas was catching her hint and he got up and pulled out her chair so she could rise.
We’d had dinner together, Sam, Luciana, Thomas, Celeste and I, and then moved to a bar for after dinner drinks. It had been a fabulous time, a natural fit with all of them. Thomas and Sam hit it off instantly, talking sports, and Celeste and Luci hit it off instantly, talking fashion, restaurants and spas. We laughed at Thomas’s stories about people he met and things he did while he traveled, we laughed at Luci’s stories about people she met and things she did while she modeled (and traveled).
Now it was late and, even though Sam had just bought Luci another drink, it was also apparently time for Celeste and Thomas to call it a night.
And it was probably the last time I’d see them. We’d exchanged contact information during before dinner drinks but that afternoon I’d called a very curious Teri (but I didn’t share, not the time or place nor did I have the two hours to explain it all to her) to deal with the changes to my schedule and she got me on a flight to Crete a day later, the same one Sam booked when we popped by Luci’s to use her computer in order for him to do just that. Sam and I would be driving to Parma the next day, spending the night and coming back the day after, leaving early the day after that. That meant no more time with Thomas and, worse, no more time with Celeste.
Looking up at her, feeling suddenly bereft, I felt my chair move slightly and my neck twisted to see Sam had risen and was helping me up.
Farewells were exchanged, Luci and Celeste promised to meet for lunch, Sam gave Thomas a handshake and bent to let Celeste touch her cheek to his then she moved into me, wrapping her hand around my elbow, she turned her head and tipped it to Sam, saying, “We won’t keep her.”
Apparently, I was going alone.
I looked to Sam, he tipped up his chin, a small smile on his face saying he got the message then Celeste moved us away, Thomas following.
Thomas had found our table, a table on the back terrace around a corner and mostly secluded from the rest of the bar but still having a fabulous view of the lake and after we were out of sight, Celeste leaned deeper into me, her hand giving my elbow a squeeze.
“Official approval, ma belle, he’s lovely.”
I turned my head to her and whispered, “I know.”
“He has a lovely friend too. You can tell much from the company a man keeps. This says good things about him.”
I grinned and repeated, “I know.”
Her face inched closer and she asked, “If you know, why do I sense hesitation?”
I shook my head, we were still walking and I looked to my feet as I spoke. “I don’t know. Probably silly but he is who he is and I am who I am and, right now, I come with a lot of baggage on top of that and… I don’t know. I guess I wonder when he’ll figure it out. I mean, he’s explained what he sees in me but I’ve got a lot to process, what we have is very new and, as I process, for Sam, it could get very old. And I can’t stop thinking that, as I deal, eventually he’ll remember that he can have anybody so he’ll wonder why he’s putting up with me.”
At my words, Celeste stopped us firmly, turned toward me and opened her mouth to speak.
But it was Thomas who spoke.
“So can you.”
Both Celeste and I turned our heads to him and it was only then I saw how close he was.
“Sorry?” I asked quietly.
Thomas got closer, his head tipped to the side and his eyes moved over my face.
Then he smiled a strange, small, sad smile and he said softly, “Kia, I just walked through a bar and every man we passed turned to watch you. If you think you’ve been at a party with Sam, to dinner with Sam and he has not noticed this too, you would be wrong. That man is not stupid. That man knows, he doesn’t take care of what he’s found, someone else will do it. He’s Sampson Cooper and he is no fool. He knows a good thing when he sees it, my love, and you’re right, he’s very likely a man who could have anybody, that is, anybody who is his to have so, being no fool, he made certain not to delay in laying claim to you.”
I stared up at Thomas, surprised, then I reminded him, “He hasn’t laid claim to me. We’ve only just met. This is very new. Anything could happen.”
Thomas leaned in close and whispered, “Too true. So I shall look forward to when we meet again, a time when I’m certain he will have chased away those ghosts that haunt your eyes and I’ll remind you of this moment, when the beautiful Kia doubted her power over a powerful man and she’s content in the knowledge that not only did she do very well, but he did too.”
That was so nice, my eyes filled with tears and Celeste’s fingers squeezed tight.
“There is a reason I love him, you know,” she whispered in my ear, my head turned to her and she was smiling.
I fought back the tears and smiled back. Then I looked at Thomas.
Then I whispered, “Thank you.”
His eyes moved over my face then they moved to his wife then his hand came up, his fingers curled around my arm and he gave me a squeeze before dropping his hand and whispering back, “No, my love, thank you.”
I pressed my lips together.
Celeste moved back to my side and guided me forward, murmuring, “We must forge on. It wouldn’t do to burst in gales of tears in a bar.”
She sounded so horrified by this possibility, I couldn’t help but giggle.
; I walked them to their car, gave Thomas a hug and a kiss on the cheek then I moved to Celeste and she immediately folded me in her arms and she didn’t do the cheek to cheek to cheek. She pressed her cheek to mine and kept it there.
My eyes started to sting again and I whispered in her ear, “Please, come visit me. I promise to share my treasures with you like you did with me.”
“We will plan, ma chérie.”
“I don’t have a spa, uh… yet, but you can meet my Mom and she’s a really good cook.”
“Better than any spa.”
She was right about that.
Neither of us moved. Neither of us spoke.
Until Celeste whispered, “Why can I not let you go?”
I knew why and I held her closer, whispering back, “Honey.”
Her head turned slightly, her lips almost on my ear and she whispered in a way that sounded urgent, “Please take to heart what Thomas said. I know it must be difficult but this is a good man, ma chérie, trust him to take care of you.”
My heart skipped a beat and I nodded.
“But more, trust that you’re worth taking care of.” She pulled slightly away and wrapped her fingers around my upper arms. “Oui?” she asked softly.
I smiled. “Oui.”
“Très bein,” she smiled back, gave my arms a squeeze, tipped her head to the side and whispered, “Au revoir, ma belle. We will see each other again soon.”
“Soon, Celeste.”
She closed her eyes, pulled in breath, let me go, opened her eyes and grinned at me before she walked to her husband who was standing at her opened door.
She folded in.
Thomas gave me another smile as he rounded the hood and called, “Get back to your friends, love.”
I nodded but stood there and when Thomas started up and pulled away I did it waving and I kept waving until they were no longer in sight.
Then I walked through the bar toward the back terrace and as I did it, Thomas’s words came to me and I stopped looking at my feet and started to look around.
Then I looked back down to my feet because, at a quick scan, I saw Thomas was right.
Four men were looking at me and the last one I caught his eye before looking past him and he smiled.