“Wow girl, you do know how to pull a crowd!” Shirley drew me to her laughing.
“I don’t even know half the people here,” I whispered.
“They obviously know and like you. I haven’t seen this many people in our office send-off before.” I looked around, feeling humbled and loved. Tears filled my eyes.
“No tears or you’ll ruin the photos.” Shirley admonished me. I swallowed hard and tried to get a grip on my emotions.
I was thankful that I was calm and smiled as speeches were made. Everyone who spoke had something nice to say about me: my smile, gentleness, friendliness, and diligence. Michael closed his speech by saying that I was one of those workers who were irreplaceable as a team player and problem solver. Lynn talked about how she would miss seeing me briskly walk along the hallways and my smile that never failed to brighten her day.
Lynn presented me with a gift from the department.
Remembering the KISS principle, I kept my speech short and simple. “Thank you everyone for this, I wasn’t expecting anything like it! Working with you all in Minot has been a wonderful experience. Right from my first day here, I realized that you’re the most loving group of people I have ever met. That never changed after all this time. Thank you Michael for being an exemplary leader. Lynn, you made my work very easy and enjoyable – you’re indeed an admin rockstar. Thank you all for coming. Your presence here today means so much to me. You all made my day big time! It will be an understatement to say that I will miss you all and the PI. I will take along with me, the love and skills you have given me and spread among other people I meet. I wish you all many blessings! Thank you.
It was a nice get-together and a memorable send-off; the best I had ever had.
A few employees dropped by my office to give me something. They included cards, books, and a few other knickknacks. Shirley and David gave me a beautiful red jacket.
I cleared my desk on my last day at work. The next day, I would be on my way to my home and native land. O Canada! I was gripped with wholesome excitement; the kind I had not felt since graduating from college.
Chapter Ten
Once I got to Victoria, I found myself doing more writing. I had been writing since I was little and my mom used to say that I would be a talented writer when I grew up but I never took her seriously. As I got older, I continued to write. It was therapeutic for me. I never showed anyone my writing and never thought I would. That was until I met Michael.
Speaking of Michael, out of the blue, almost a month into my stay in Canada, I received an email from him. In the brief email, he said I had been in his thoughts and prayers. He was hoping we could chat when I had the time.
I was not sure how I felt hearing from him. It took me two days before I could reply. I did not want to seem too eager but I did not want him to think I was shunning him either.
So it was that we moved into the epistolary level of our friendship. It looked like I was far from being rid of him. I began to despise myself for not making a clean cut.
We started with “Hi Michael”, “Hi Erin”. From the impersonal greeting, we progressed to ending our emails with “Me” which he initiated. When are you going to open your eyes to the fact that he’s not the right man for you? Open my eyes if you can; I’m still hooked. I fired back at the persistent voice.
**********
Chat with Michael
Jun 21
4:50 PM me: Are you telling me or someone else?
Michael: telling you what?
4:51 PM me: "I am around but may not be paying attention"
4:52 PM Michael: i actually forgot I had that listed; that's really old from sometime last spring. I'll go and change it.
me: I see.
Michael: how are you?
4:53 PM me: I'm good. And you? Is it still cold there?
4:54 PM Michael: Doing okay; it does feel cold here; temperatures are in the low…
4:55 PM me: It's been raining every day. Everyone says it hasn't rained continuously like this in a long time
4:56 PM Michael: Do you like it?
4:57 PM me: Yeah. Have you read my mail?
Michael: I just did
me: Okay.
4:59 PM Michael: i think i understand everything you had to say. Was there something you were hoping i would comment on?
5:01 PM me: I can't tell since i don't have the mail right in front of me. But if I were in your position, I would ask what specifically have I said that hurt so much.
5:02 PM Michael: that hurt me? I can't say that you have hurt me - puzzled me, and frustrated me at times :) but not hurt me
me: No, I meant that I would have liked it if you had asked me that
5:03 PM Michael: You mean, what have I done that has hurt you?
5:05 PM me: I mean that you know you have said things that hurt me but you never bothered to find out what exactly I found hurtful.
5:07 PM Michael: 1. What did you find hurtful?
5:10 PM me: Maybe, we shouldn't waste time on that. It's in the past.
5:11 PM Michael: okay
me: So how far with your writing?
5:13 PM Michael: i'm trying to send you a copy now, but my email isn't cooperating. There it goes; it should arrive soon
5:14 PM me: Got it.
5:16 PM Michael: I have no idea how many pages the text would translate into book pages, but I figure to be about a 1/3 of the way through
5:19 PM me: Looks like you have a title and you sent just the additional part. Would you want it to be about 150 - 200pages in all? Anyway, if you go to view and click reading view, it will arrange it and show you how many pages it translates into
5:20 PM Michael: ooh, i'll have to try that. I don't really have a title yet, just chapter headings; i'm looking for 300 pages.
5:21 PM looks like 82
5:22 PM me: 300 - that's great. Sounds more suitable for the kind of story and theme. Have you got anything on Peretti yet - not that it's important.
You're right then that you are 1/3 done.
Michael: no, not yet, but thanks for reminding me
5:23 PM me: Did you check out the church you mentioned?
5:25 PM Michael: Yes, It’s a little too traditional for my tastes, but still a very humbling time
5:28 PM me: Yes, sometimes the more traditional churches make one feel more in awe of God.
Forgive the concord typo
5:29 PM Michael: no worries there; i especially enjoyed singing some of the old time hymns
me: I know what you mean...
Michael: how’re things with you?
5:30 PM me: Okay…. Summer’s a good time of year.
Michael: i always like the summer; none of that political/administrative rigmarole to worry about -
5:31 PM me: I guess you lost me there
5:32 PM Michael: the summer is a nice time; no meetings, no deadlines, no to-do lists
me: I see what you mean.
5:34 PM Looks like you get to the internet less frequently now
5:35 PM Michael: not at all; the internet thing has been frustrating
5:36 PM me: Any plans to fix it?
Michael: Yeah, they’re working to put a high speed one
5:37 PM me: That’s good.
5:38 PM Haven’t heard from Shirley in a while. How’re they?
5:39 PM Michael: They’re retired now.
5:40 PM me: Is she in Minot?
5:41 PM Michael: No, they moved to Hawaii
5:42 PM me: Good for them – from temperate to tropical climate.
Michael: Not bad at all.
me: Great place to retire.
5:43 PM Michael: so tell me, since I have never asked before, what’s your favorite flower?
5:44 PM me: Not sure I have a favorite, maybe tulips or lilies or zinnia. Planning on going to Seattle to watch Brandon Heath perform
5:45 PM Michael: when? With friends?
me: Yes. Same day s
occer world cup ends so I hope the team I'll be rooting for lifts the cup
5:46 PM Michael: which team would you most like to see win the cup?
5:47 PM me: Brazil of course. Two reasons: 1. they have been most consistent generally 2. I like Kaka; he’s a very nice guy.
5:49 PM Michael: Boo; though I did not know that about Kaka
me: I don't mind Spain winning too cos I just love Torres
5:50 PM Michael: the US team has come a long way but won’t be playing the championship game, so I guess I'm pulling for England to finally figure themselves and play like a team
5:54 PM me: What's Boo? Yeah, I won't be surprised either but USA is currently ahead of England by goal points. I think France is in bigger *
Michael: France is done for; i said "Boo" because I don't like the Brazilian team
5:57 PM me: I guessed as much that you were booing them. At this point we can't really tell how it will go because no team is outstanding. I guess after the knock out stage things will get clearer. The team with a lucky streak so far seems to be New Zealand.
6:00 PM Michael: Germany looks tough, too; i'm sad to see the African teams not fairing so well
6:01 PM me: Don't remind me! First one in Africa and the African teams are doing worse than ever. Look at Cameroun leaving the world cup in the first run. As for Nigeria - let's not go there.
6:02 PM I think we should be calling it a day
6:03 PM Michael: okay - what do you plan for the rest of your afternoon?
6:05 PM me: Go to the non-profit where I volunteer.
6:06 PM Michael: what is it called? I hope you enjoy reading my ms.
me: BC Families in need. I'm sure I will. bye
6:07 PM Michael: bye
It was such chats that got me further hooked on Michael.
Chapter Eleven
There was a part of me that disliked my feelings for Michael. I wished I disliked him. I sometimes felt anger rising up from within against him but then I reminded myself that he was not to blame for anything. I was responsible for whatever feelings I had for him. I still felt like he had let me down. Consequently, I started keeping back information about goings-on in my life. I never let on what had been my horrendous experience since arriving in Victoria. He had lost his position as my confidante. The surprising thing was that I was okay with him not occupying that position anymore. In spite of our supposed friendship, I still wondered if I really knew him and if he was telling me the truth about a lot of things. I feared I would never trust him again.
Nonetheless, as months and seasons went by, we continued to chat.
Jun 24
5:07 PM Michael: hey
me: Hey, I thought we weren’t going to chat today
5:08 PM Michael: why would you think that?
me: I don't know... maybe because you didn't mention my last mail to u.
5:09 PM Michael: which one?
me: The one with feedback on your report.
5:10 PM Michael: i just got it right now
me: That's the only mail
5:11 PM Michael: i've already skimmed over your comments, and you raise some good points, so I need to think about how to incorporate them
me: Okay
5:13 PM Michael: i sent you one about my thoughts on your revised ms, though I neglected to send you a copy with my comments - only because I left my hard drive at home. Next time. But I promise, I have read it! ;)
me: No problem.
5:15 PM Michael: btw: the purse" reference is a take off of "family jewels"
me: isn’t that informal language?
5:16 PM Michael: I was trying to be discreet, but perhaps have become indiscreet.
me: since it’s a well known slang, I guess it's okay.
5:17 PM Michael: i think most western readers would get the reference, but perhaps not
5:20 PM that reminds me of a Bible translation story - this one team was working on the verse where Jesus tells his disciples to cast their nets to go fishing; their native co-translators gave them a word for nets, who assured them that it could be used for fishing; they tested it out and people got the point of the verse, so everything was good. Well, during a church service when the verse was read aloud to the congregation, all the women began to laugh - but shyly, trying to conceal it. Puzzled, the translators did some more checking, only to find out that this native word for "net" was also a female slang word for "scrotum" and since they never checked the verse with female speakers, they didn't pick up on the double entendre.
5:21 PM me: This happened?
Michael: so sworn to me by a grizzled Bible translator.
me: Sounds like something in a funny movie.
5:22 PM Michael: language is a tricky thing, and you have to be very careful how you translate - what sounds perfectly acceptable, can be disastrous
me: True
Michael: How’re things over there?
5:27 PM me: It's been raining a loooot
5:28 PM Michael: that is good, though perhaps a bit too much now
5:30 PM me: Can it be too much?
Michael: Noah might think so
me: He needed it for his boat to keep afloat.
5:31 PM Michael: perhaps those who didn't get onboard!
5:32 PM me: :) I see what you mean (yawning).
Michael: well, i gotta run
5:33 PM me: Okay.
5:34 PM Michael: see you
**********
Another chat with Michael
Jun 28
5:16 PM Michael: hey, how are you
5:17 PM me: Fine, and you?
5:18 PM Michael: okay all in all
me: We sound boring, don't you think?
5:20 PM Michael: well, what can you say? I just sent you an email with your ms's comments
5:21 PM me: Thanks
5:22 PM Michael: You okay?
5:25 PM me: yeah, no worries
5:26 PM Michael: Did you get my email?
me: Yes, thanks for the nice things you said to me.
5:27 PM Michael: Just being honest.
5:28 PM me:
5:29 PM Michael: You’re graceful, caring, and other things I wrote…. How’s the weather?
5:31 PM me: Hmmm... Still looks cloudy which isn't so good for my mood but I'm getting used to it.
5:33 PM Michael: how are things going in general?
5:34 PM me: Good. I'm not sure I know what u mean though
5:35 PM Michael: just curious how you are doing, and what's going on with you? have you gone anywhere or done anything special lately?
5:37 PM me: not much actually…. I have finished the first draft of the biker story and am revising it to increase the word count.
5:38 PM Michael: Wow on your story!
5:39 PM me: Thanks
Michael: really, you're a machine
me: How?
5:40 PM Michael: you work very quickly and efficiently, while I just seem to plod along
5:41 PM me: You have many distractions while I don't. Also, it's a matter of attitude. While you seem content plodding along, I seem to want more out of life.
Michael: oh, snap!
5:42 PM me: hahaha. You know I’m right.
5:43 PM Michael: ouch, now you're being harsh; you really think that's my attitude?
5:46 PM me: Well, you had said so yourself.
5:47 PM Michael: It sounded different coming from you
5:48 PM me: I know what you mean.
Michael: Human nature
5:50 PM me: :) We don’t mind criticizing ourselves….
5:51 PM Michael: But mind when others do….
5:52 PM me: You are right of course.
Michael: point taken
5:53 PM me: My oh my. Someone is fuming
5:54 PM Michael: not at all
me: I believe you. i know u always tell me as it is and I you. That way there can never be bitterness between us.
&
nbsp; 5:56 PM Michael: i would hope not;
5:59 PM me: have you done the diagrams?
6:00 PM Michael: no, but I am revising the body; we'll see how it pans out
6:01 PM me: Well, it's yours to do with as you please. Don't let your sentiments get in the way though.
6:02 PM Michael: you still there?
me: Yes.
6:03 PM Michael: i just got a message that "Erin did not receive your chat."
6:04 PM me: I got it. It is showing on ur screen right?
Michael: it is now
6:05 PM me: Are you working on your report right now?
Michael: not at the moment, maybe tomorrow
6:06 PM me: What are u working on now?
Michael: chatting with you and surfing the net; mostly keeping up with the baseball scores
6:07 PM me: Sorry about USA and England. Like you said, the Germans are good. I also watched the Brazil-Chile match this morning.
6:08 PM Michael: well, I didn't think USA would go much further; Brazil looks tough
6:10 PM me: I'll send you my biker story when I think I have revised it enough for editing. You can tire it apart so that we can turn it into a bestseller. If you do a 'good' job, you can even put your label on it.
6:11 PM tear it apart
Michael: I’ll write a critic's blurb for you
6:12 PM me: What's that? educate me!
6:13 PM Michael: you know, the statements on the back of the book "a scintillating book" "I loved it" etc
me: Ohhh. You have to be well known to do that? Would u be by then:)
Michael: maybe, but I doubt it
6:14 PM me: Pessimist!
Michael: realist
6:15 PM me: Things don't happen that way. What u see is not reality except u make it so. Perhaps u are afraid of success.
6:17 PM Michael: perhaps - maybe I'll give it another go and see if I get inspired
6:18 PM me: What's the problem?
6:19 PM Michael: I want to make sure I can accurately capture that tension without making the presentation seem wishywashy
me: It’ll come to you…
6:20 PM Michael: hmmm
6:21 PM Bye for now.
Michael: Talk to you soon
No reply from me.
Michael
to me
Jul 1
Hi!
I want to let you know that I received your manuscript and will start to read through it. I'm still working through the other ms. Do you want me to focus on this new one, or wait until I finish the other?
I found a new gym today in town. I have been biking regularly, but this was the first time in a gym in some time. Ouch, I think I will be sore tonight.
My prayers and hopes that you are doing well.
Me