Sandra continued. “We ordered coffee and he wanted me to pay for mine and I did. We sat and were having what looked like a normal conversation. Maybe half hour later, I excused myself to go to the washroom. I was back in less than five minutes, and he was gone. I waited for some time thinking he had gone to the restroom. Next, I went outside to see if his car was still there. It was not – he had left.”
“What a jerk! What did you do?”
“I called a cab and went home.”
“What kind of human being does that?”
“Since then, he’s been constantly online. I should write something there warning women about him.”
“It may not be wise, especially since he knows where you live. He could be a criminal of sorts or a nut case. I was told there are many people out there with mental illness since the government stopped part of the hospitalization funding some years back.”
“You’re right. It’s one of those risks one has to take with dating regardless of whether you met online or at the pub.”
‘Some would say it’s worse with online dating.”
“I disagree. Both have their failures and successes. I know someone who met a guy at the gym. He hit on her and she was attracted to him right from start. However, he had another girlfriend. Both women were visiting his house without knowing about each other’s existence until it all came out. Thanks to Facebook!”
“It’s the height of irresponsibility to start dating another woman without first breaking up with the other. It’s a mean, heartless behaviour if you ask me.”
“True, best to end the relationship than be in it and cheat on your partner.”
“So I was wondering if the recent experience will make you rethink your stance on online dating.”
Sandra looked at me like ‘did I hear you correctly?’. “No way, my friend. It’s such fun meeting new people all the time. You know what they say about many fishes in the sea.”
I had to admit that Sandra was an enigma. I saw no point in dwelling on why she was still on the dating sites. My conclusion was that she was having fun. However, something in her reply made me frown. “Didn’t you once mention a similar name for a dating site?”
Sandra nodded. “Sure did. It’s the most popular site locally.”
“I guess some homeless and jobless people are there too, pretending to be some executive or millionaire,” I said feigning genuine interest in the site.
Sandra gave me a knowing look. She understood my intent was to disparage online dating but she was not perturbed. “I know so for sure. A colleague once did fall for someone like that but that’s a long story. The trick is to communicate online in the evening with people you are interested in – when most people are home and public libraries with free internet services are closed. Also, beware of men who say they are self-employed.”
I beamed at Sandra. “Wow, that’s so smart. You should start a blog for online daters.”
“And you one for online haters.”
“That’s unfair. I have nothing against the internet or any electronic media. My feelings about online dating are based on natural self-preservation tendencies.”
“I hear you,” Sandra said. “Are you ready to leave?”
“Sure, let’s get outta here.”
We were going downtown to do some shopping at The Bay Centre and then Mayfair Mall. Last month we had gone to the Hillside Mall and we had so much fun we decided to make it a monthly affair. It was mostly window shopping, trying out clothes and taking photos, checking out latest books at Chapters or other bookstores, and buying a few things. It was all about fashion and learning; no grocery shopping during such outings except if it was absolutely necessary. Stopping for ice cream, lunch or dinner was part of the plan.
Sandra and I had already decided that we would go to Uptown Mall next. After visiting a few of the stores, we would stop at a coffee shop for cappuccino before leaving the mall. We also planned on going to a popular restaurant on Pandora Avenue for dinner. Since Victoria was famous for its numerous cuisines from around the world, I was looking forward to exploring as many restaurants as possible.
Smiling, I picked up my pebble leather cross body bag and got up. Sandra took her purse from the dining table and hung it on her left shoulder. She put her right arm around my waist as we left. She did that often, even when we were out in the public. At first I had worried people might think we were a couple but I gradually got used to it. Sandra had a lovely heart.
**********
It was Sunday evening. I had attended the 10:00am church service. The congregation as always seemed friendly; yet, I had not made any friends. It had always been difficult for me to form close friendships because I was uncomfortable seeking out people.
I had attended the women’s group meeting a couple of times and enjoyed the fellowship. It was a weekly meeting that took place at the church every Wednesday morning. Since I started working fulltime, I had not been able to attend. A few women from church had invited me to Easter and Christmas parties at their homes but I had not attended. Regrettably, that was my style. I always went solo. I knew I needed to change some in that area. My friendship with Sandra was a step in the right direction. We met at least once each week except when she was out of town.
I stared at the TV screen, noticing that a repeat of The Voice was on. I was beginning to enjoy watching The Voice more than American Idol. I liked the current judges on American Idol, especially Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban. Although I knew nothing about Harry Connick, Jr., I absolutely liked his personality. I also liked Blake Shelton, Usher, and Shakira – judges on The Voice. I did not know much about Adam. In my opinion, the contestants on The Voice were way better than those on American Idol. The former had a more entertaining competition process as well. I focused on watching the show, relaxing all alone – by myself. I liked Sundays.
As the last two from Adam’s team were about to sing, I heard a gentle tap on my front door. I peeked through the hole…., it was a delivery guy. I had not ordered anything online. When was the last time I …. Upon closer scrutiny, my face pressed further against the door, I realized it was pizza delivery. I did not order pizza. In movies, I had seen people tricked into opening their doors by offer of tantalizing pizza and I was not going to fall for it. A firm knock shook me out of my reverie; I moved away from the door.
“I didn’t order pizza,” I spoke trying not to let my panic show.
“Your friend did and asked that it be delivered to this address.”
He must think I was stupid. “I’ll give you ‘A’ for effort.”
“M’am, would you like me to leave with the pizza?”
I was trying not to be irritated and impolite. “I didn’t order pizza and know no one who did.”
“ No worries….”
Just then I heard the click of heels and someone was talking. I peered through the hole again thankful to whoever invented the use of peepholes.
Sandra. Did she….
“Erin, you in there? Open up.”
I immediately did. “Sandra, nice to see you.”
“I can see my well-planned surprise worked.”
Sandra was holding the box of pizza. “You ordered the pizza?” I looked around but the delivery guy had already left.
“I did. Looks like you were giving the delivery guy a hard time.”
“I wasn’t sure it was really a pizza delivery guy.”
Sandra shut the door as we walked towards the living room. “You have been watching too many investigation or PD movies and TV shows.”
She was right. I did not consider myself a couch potato but I watched a lot of TV. Spending so much time at home alone meant I had to find ways to occupy myself when I was not writing. And my favourite things were TV, reading and my treadmill.
I smiled. “So, what are we celebrating?”
Sandra stood like she was a participant on America’s Next Top Model. “You are looking at the new Admin Assistant for the youngest and newest p
artner at Wilcox and Wilcox law firm.”
“Wow! You got the job?” I knew she had applied for the position although she had no experience working in a law firm. She was studying at Camosun College to be a legal secretary and had done short stints as an administrative secretary at DND.
Sandra beamed. “Sure did.”
I hugged her. “So proud of you girl!”
Sandra said, “I couldn’t hold back the excitement and just wanted to come celebrate with you.”
“What better way than with pizza.”
As Sandra sat on my loveseat, I went to the refrigerator and brought out two cans of ginger ale and put them on my small, oval dining table. Then, I got out two wine glasses from the chest of drawers. I had a bottle of red wine in the fridge. I took the wine and poured a little into each glass.
I handed a glass to Sandra. “To the kindest, loveliest, most intelligent woman I know. May your career blossom into everything you have ever dreamed it would be like and even more!”
“Amen!”
That was a beautiful part of my Sunday evening that I had not anticipated. It was a wonderful surprise and filled me with renewed joy.
Chapter Fifteen
“Marriage made in heaven is not a clichéd expression here; it’s the reality you get when you join us at www.hisoulmate.com.”
Was it ‘Hi Soulmate’ or ‘His soulmate’? The latter sounded gender-biased. It must be the former because of the single ‘s’.
I read the advertisement again. My skeptical eyes ran through the testimonies of couples who had been matched successfully by that matchmaking cum dating services provider located in Vancouver but serving the entire BC province. There were also glowing reports from those who were not matched; yet found each other on the site. Should I try this? Why not, what do you have to lose? At least, it will be fun and help refocus your thoughts. That was the familiar voice.
My eyes lingered on the page. Yet I hesitated. My thoughts went back to all the online dating sites Sandra had recommended. A month ago, I had registered with two but nothing romantic was developing between me and anyone. All the men who showed interest in me were the kind of men I was not interested in. I had communicated with a few but kept shillyshallying – my trademark – whenever someone who lived in Washington State or somewhere in BC wanted us to meet. I just stopped replying their emails for no reason.
But I justified myself: I was not playing games with them. It seemed surreal attempting to get a life partner through the Internet. Perhaps I should say ‘e-partner’. ‘E-partners for free.’ How weird!
Another hitch was that I felt very uncomfortable putting up my photo for the entire world to see. What if someone who knew me saw it? Although, over the years, I had lost touch with most friends and family, the thought of any of them seeing my photo on a dating site sent chills down my spine. Therefore, on those two dating sites, I never uploaded a single photo. In fact, I ended communication with each new contact when they asked to see my photo. Others had been okay with meeting me in person but I also closed those chapters soon after they asked to meet me.
My eyes were drawn to my laptop again. I clicked on the link to the ‘Hisoulmate’ website. Staring at me were two different couples. One couple was in an inter-racial relationship and the other couple was of same race. Both couples looked happy and fulfilled. I had a special respect for couples in inter-racial relationships because they had unique hurdles to cross and were bold enough not to care what others thought. That showed their strength and depth of love for each other.
I allowed my eyes to read the couples’ testimonials:
Hisoulmate.ca helped us find each other. We were so perfectly matched that we did not have to look any further. We’re in our fifties and never thought we would meet anyone we would consider our ideal partner. Many thanks to hisoulmate, for finding us for each other! We feel truly blessed. We’ve been married five years and it has been an incredible journey together!
The second testimonial:
Thanks to hisoulmate for helping us find each other. Before meeting my husband, I didn’t believe in soul mates. But now I do. It’s a mystery unraveled when you find him or her. We’ve been married for three years now and ours is indeed a marriage made in heaven!
Tears filled my eyes as I longed for the love of that special someone that had eluded me. Not just someone who loved me; but also whom I loved in return. I could never fake or force it. Why was my love life so messed up?
As my thoughts focused on Dick and Michael, my heart began to harden towards them. It was me against them. The two had an evil streak. Then what are you doing still being friends with Michael? The voice had emphasized the word ‘friends’. I was not sure what I was still doing with him. Did he cast a spell on me or what? He could be a compulsive liar for all I knew. Where were such bizarre thoughts coming from? Was it me or the voice that spoke just now? I began to fret because I could not tell.
My computer screen timed out since it had been idle for five minutes and the screen saver began a slide show of one hundred – not seven – wonders of the world. But I was not interested. After all, I was a wonder myself: a girl who gravitated towards bad boys or unavailable men. That was me.
My mind shifted to the reality TV show, ‘The Millionaire Matchmaker’. I was drawn to the show not because I was looking to get hitched with a millionaire but because of the processing involved and choices the participants made. I often laughed so hard or got angry with a 50 year old man who wanted a 23-year old girl for his future wife. The match maker sometimes succeeded in convincing the delusional middle aged man that the young woman was not right for him.
The slideshow then returned my attention to the computer. I pressed a key and the online dating site stared unblinkingly at me. I imagined it asking me: ‘What are you going to do? Are you for us or against us?’ I could not answer fast enough. Then I imagined that it sighed in frustration. I was thinking to say “I’ll pass ….” when that familiar voice interrupted ‘Don’t even dare!’ I was stunned for a few seconds. The voice had always been gentle until now. Trust me to do the unexpected. I decided to heed its counsel when I usually would not – at least not with alacrity.
I read the text above the contact button. I hesitated briefly; then clicked the ‘Contact Us’ tab and filled out the short form.
The following day, I got a reply.
Dear Erin, thank you for contacting us. At HiSoulmate, we arrange a telephone interview with interested clients and then send them a manageable number of matches to look at. We will also send your profile to all the prospective matches we have forwarded to you. That way, you or they can initiate the first contact. Please complete the attached form and return it to us. Your information is safe with us. Expect a call from us at 3pm PST tomorrow to discuss specifics and fees. Thank you again for your interest in our dating services. – HS Team
The following day, I took a short break just before 3pm and went outside the office building. I sat at a secluded corner near the parking lot. I used my password to open my Nexus 4 android phone. Remembering that they would ask for my photo, I tapped the ‘Gallery’ icon and began to look at my photos. I was never comfortable having my photo taken because I believed I was not photogenic. After going through the pictures, I could not find any that I thought suitable. I breathed out and wondered what I was going to do about it. There was no way I was going to dress up and get my photo taken or go to a photo studio to get a snapshot. No way! The whole dating thing was not worth all that effort. Not when you’re going to pay. That voice of wisdom. It was right of course: if I was willing to spend even a dime then I had better be sure I took the entire dating activity seriously.
The call came through a couple of minutes after 3pm. It was a female voice.
Me: Hello
Female Voice: Hello. Is this Erin?
Me: Speaking
Female Voice: Hi Erin, this is Tess from HiSoulmate.
Me: Hi Tess
Tess: Thanks f
or your interest in using our services. I can promise you that we are one of the most reliable, cost-effective and result-oriented organizations in this business. I have gone through your file and I am excited to say that we have generated the most suitable matches for you. Every client we are working with has provided information (just like you did) which we check out before matching them with anyone. So, you don’t have to worry about people who engage in identity theft or supply false information.
Me: That’s a relief.
Tess: Yes. We can’t vouch for their character but we can tell you that they are who they claim to be in terms of names, marital status, age, physical appearance, work and such information. We, however, don’t do criminal checks.
Me: That’s fine. What about the fee?
Tess: If you decide that you want to use our services, we charge a starting fee of $100 which expires after one year. That’s basically for matching you with prospective dates and you can take it from there. However, if you would like us to handpick a couple of guys and arrange your first date, then you will be charged more depending on certain criteria. For instance, if you are looking for a millionaire….
I burst out laughing. “Really?”
Tess: Well, that kind of service often requires things like makeovers in appearance and skills….
Her voice trailed off.
Me: Wow! Didn’t know that was possible. Not even on the TV show ‘The Millionaire Matchmaker.’
Tess: I know. We get all kinds of requests and are open to helping our clients achieve their goals.
Me: I’ll be fine with a regular guy. Not looking for a millionaire.
Tess: Sounds good. We’ll send you your first set of matches as soon as we receive your payment. Do you know what payment methods are available?
Me: Yes, I saw that on your website.
Tess: Perfect. Do you have any questions?
Me: No, not at this time
Tess: Feel free to contact me anytime and I’ll get back to you ASAP. My email is
[email protected]. By the way, do remember to put up at least one photo on your profile.