She nodded. “I like that. I don’t think I’d want to be whipped or anything like that.” Her gaze dropped to my hands. “But a spanking…”
My jeans instantly became too tight.
“What else?” she asked softly.
“Also along the pain line, there’s various forms of sensation play. Ice, wax, feathers, and the like. Sometimes I use them, but I don’t generally go to the extreme with any of them.”
Addison took a step toward me, and I felt like the temperature went up ten degrees.
“Then you have some other toys. Dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, gag balls.” I listed off a few. “I don’t really use the gag too much, but the others are quite useful when it comes to orgasm denial, or other sorts of…torture. That’s where I like to push limits.”
Her pupils were wide, with only thin slivers of pale green encircling them.
“I also like to use them for double penetration. I would never deny a sub that unique sensation, but I don’t share.”
“That’s good,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to be shared.”
“Any man who even considered sharing you would have to be the dumbest man alive.” I cupped her cheek, my thumb brushing the side of her mouth.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back to the way things had been. Not knowing that someone else would take my place. Another man would truly teach her about the aspects of BDSM that appealed to her. He would be her first in other ways. He would get to hear her beg for release or sob when the sensations became too overwhelming.
And all I would have would be memories.
I was grateful for them, but I couldn’t let them be the only ones I’d ever have.
I had to ask. I’d accept her decision, but if I didn’t ask, I’d regret it.
“Little Red,” I deliberately used the nickname, “I have a…proposition for you.”
She reached up and trailed her fingers along my jaw. “Yes?”
“I know that we agreed that when we got back home, things would return to the way they had been, but now, I’m rethinking that decision.” I dropped my hand from her face and caught her hand with mine. “Neither of us want something complicated, and I think we’re both logical, intelligent people. We can keep things from becoming emotional.”
“Just ask, Cai.”
I smiled, even though my heart was pounding in my chest. “Would you be interested in an exclusive but purely physical relationship?”
“Purely physical?” she repeated.
“Our work relationship and friendship would stay the same, but we’d add sex to the mix.”
“All right,” she said, a grin curving her mouth. “And you said exclusive?”
I nodded, telling myself not to get too hopeful. She hadn’t agreed yet. “Neither of us would become sexually involved with anyone else as long as we’re sleeping together, allowing us to continue being able to forgo condoms. If that’s something you’d want.”
“And what if we met someone else we’d like to have sex with?” Her words were matter-of-fact, and I hoped she was simply thinking through the possibilities. I didn’t like the thought that she could already want to find someone else.
“We would keep open communication,” I said. “When one of us wishes to end the arrangement, we tell the other, and that is that.”
She was quiet for a few minutes, and I wished I could hear what she was thinking. I’d put myself out there, asking her this, but if she agreed, it would be well worth it.
Finally, she nodded. “That would work for me.”
I leaned down and took her mouth in a hard, possessive kiss. She was mine. I didn’t know for how long, but I intended to make the most of every second we were together. I would leave my mark on her so deep that I would be the standard by which every other man would be measured.
No. I wouldn’t think of other men. She would only be with me. I had so much to teach her, and we would begin tonight. Until we parted ways, she was mine, and that was what mattered.
Mine.
Twenty-Eight
Addison
This was…different.
I was naked – that wasn’t the different part – and I was on the bed, face-down. My wrists were tied to each other, and to each ankle, pulling my legs out and up. The position also kept my arms up, parallel to my back. He’d had me braid my hair, then tied the bottom of my braid to the restraints around my wrist. My head was pulled back, stretched right to the very edge of comfort. I was pretty sure adrenaline had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t uncomfortable yet, but I’d take it. I didn’t want to be in a position where I’d need to use my safe word. The thought of disappointing Cai bothered me in a way in which I wasn’t accustomed.
My head was at the bottom of the bed, so I was able to see Cai as he stopped in front of me. He’d removed his clothing as well, giving me a heart-stopping view of strong thighs, those deep v-grooves at his hips, and a thick, full erection.
“I let you take control the first time, but now, it’s my turn.”
He put his hand on the back of my head, not exerting any pressure, but rather providing a reminder that he was in charge.
As if I could forget it.
“Open.”
I parted my lips, eager anticipation coiling in my belly. He slid his cock into my mouth, taking it slow. The taste of him exploded across my tongue, and I licked around him, savoring the texture as well. The skin was soft, delicate, but the muscle beneath it was firm. He made a few shallow thrusts before speaking.
“Are you able to snap your fingers?”
I snapped my fingers in response.
“That will be your safety sound if you’re not able to use your safe word,” he explained. “Snap again if you understand.”
I did as he asked, and he rewarded me by inching forward until he was almost at the back of my throat. A flutter of panic unfolded in my chest, but I pushed it down. I trusted him not to take things too far, to know where my limits were, even if I didn’t know them myself.
As he began to pull back, I applied suction, remembering that he’d enjoyed that before. I earned the same moan as before and dedicated myself to making him feel even better. I tried to move my head to control the depth of his strokes, but a jolt of pain in my scalp reminded me why that wasn’t a good idea.
“Stay where you are.” Cai sounded amused. “I’ll take care of things from my end.”
I responded by flicking my tongue across the tip of his cock, then teasing the slit before he could push deeper. My muscles began to ache, unused to being in this position, but I didn’t stop. I’d never been the sort of person who cared about what other people thought, but with this, I found that Cai’s opinion was important to me.
“Fuck, Little Red, that mouth…”
I’d take that as a positive endorsement.
“I’m close,” he warned. “If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, snap your fingers twice.”
I clenched my hands into fists, so he couldn’t even mistake me wanting him to stop. His fingers dug into my hair, his hips jerking as he lost his rhythm. For a moment, he almost went too far, but then he was sliding back enough to coat my tongue with his seed. I swallowed, sucking as hard as I could, wanting to draw out every last drop.
He curled over me, his breathing ragged, and kissed the top of my head. “Thank you, Little Red.”
I hadn’t been sure about that nickname when he first used it, but the more I heard it, the more it grew on me.
He straightened, his cock slipping from my mouth. He hadn’t gone completely soft, and I knew he’d be ready again soon. His fingers moved behind me, and the tension holding my head in place disappeared. My scalp throbbed, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“How are your arms and legs?” Cai asked as he pulled apart the braid with surprising gentleness. “Circulation good? Muscles?”
I flexed my fingers, testing them even as I rolled my ankles, wiggled my toes. “Circulation’s fine, but my muscles are starting to
feel it.”
He gave me a searching look. “Five more minutes.”
I nodded. Having my head free made me feel my legs and arms less.
He moved around behind me, the bed shifting under me as he climbed onto it. I expected to feel his touch, but I still jumped when a fingertip traced my lips. He ran his finger between them, pushing it inside for a few quick strokes. Instead of adding a second finger, however, he withdrew it completely. A moment later, it teased over somewhere else entirely.
“Easy,” he murmured as he placed a hand on the small of my back. “Just a finger tonight. Trust me.”
I nodded, then put my head down, closing my eyes to shut out everything except what Cai was doing. I sucked in a breath as the finger breached that tight ring of muscle. I knew enough about anal sex to expect the burn that followed, and I breathed through it. What I found, however, was that once I was past that, a different sort of heat was spreading through me. I’d been turned on already, and the sensations combined for something even more intense than I felt before. Not better, necessarily, but different.
“I’m going to release your legs in a moment,” Cai said. “But unless you say the word, your hands will remain as they are.”
“Yes, Sir,” I said, trying to keep the relief from my voice. I was in good shape, but this wasn’t exactly a normal exercise.
His finger disappeared, and then the tie between my hands and feet was gone too, allowing my hands to fall to my back, and my feet to the bed. I waited for Cai to turn me over, unable to do it myself with my hands as they were, but that wasn’t what happened.
He grasped my hips and pulled me up onto my knees, leaving me to catch my weight on my chest and shoulders. I wasn’t given long to process it though because he drove into me with one solid thrust, and suddenly, that was all I could feel…think…know.
My world expanded and contracted with every stroke. The heat of his hands on my hips was nothing compared to the fire he was stoking inside me. Nerves fired over and over, transmitting signals of pleasure and pain one right after the other. My legs had begun to protest, and my fingertips were tingling, but none of it was enough to make me want him to stop. The pressure inside me had built too far for much of anything to distract me.
Then, suddenly, his cock moved against that spot inside me and the world exploded in a blast of pleasure and light. But it didn’t stop there. As Cai continued at his bruising, brutal pace, one orgasm rolled into another until I finally realized what he’d meant about coming too many times. I was almost at that point, but before I tipped over that edge, Cai groaned my name, his cock pulsing inside me as he climaxed.
Neither one of us spoke as we slumped onto the bed, a tangle of sweat-slicked limbs. He untied my hands after a minute, wrapping his arms around me so he could massage my hands and wrists. The silence between us was comfortable and familiar, as if we’d been lovers for years.
We wouldn’t ever be that, I knew. We weren’t in a relationship. We could refer to each other as lovers, but we weren’t in love. Ours was an agreement based on sexual compatibility, respect, and the fact that we got along with each other so well. I was confident that we would be able to amicably part ways when the time came.
But as Cai pulled the blanket over us, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to get tired of me before I was ready to let him go.
Twenty-Nine
Cai
I’d always avoided Valentine’s Day at all costs, never wanting anyone to feel as if I was either taking advantage of them or reading more into things than was there. I hadn’t, however, thought twice about sleeping with Addison on Valentine’s Day. I trusted that she would see it for what it was, and nothing more.
We’d only been ‘snowed in’ that one night, but after having spent so much time together, it had been strange when she’d gone back to her place, leaving me completely alone for the first time since we left for Texas. I’d been worried that, once we’d been apart for a couple days, we’d see each other at work and things would be awkward.
But they weren’t.
We got along just as well as we had before. The only awkward moment had come when Dr. Edison had come into the lab looking for Pansy, and I’d had to explain why she wasn’t there. At least the paperwork I possessed to prove that Addison had indeed been infected supported my decision to send her back to Atlanta and alert Dr. Fenster that I’d taken it upon myself to fire Pansy. He’d backed me up without question, trusting my judgment, but having the evidence to back it up made me feel better.
He’d also made sure security had escorted her to her desk, waited while she’d packed up her things, and then escorted her out. Rumor had it, she’d cussed them out non-stop. She’d left a few nasty voicemails and sent a couple vicious texts, but I’d blocked her number, and that had been that.
Addison and I had spent a few hours together Wednesday night, where I taught her a little bit about orgasm denial. I didn’t, however, tell her that spending nearly forty-five minutes teasing her with my mouth, my fingers, and a vibrator had tortured me as much as it had her.
Yesterday, I’d asked her to join me at the club where we’d met before, but this time as an official date. Well, not a ‘date’ in the sense of us defining what we were doing as dating, but just as us going somewhere together.
I was aware, every time I thought of this, that I was simply making excuses, and I needed to accept the fact that I wanted us to have a more solid definition of who we were to each other. I refused to dwell on it, however, knowing that if I changed anything, I could lose Addison entirely, and I wasn’t willing to risk that.
Besides, I didn’t want a relationship with her. I just didn’t want anyone else to have her. We’d agreed to be monogamous, and I’d been telling the truth when I said that it was so that we didn’t have to return to using condoms, but I couldn’t deny the jealousy I felt at the idea of her with another man.
Tonight, however, I would walk into the club with her on my arm, and it would be clear to everyone there that she was off-limits.
I gave her another sideways glance as she smoothed down her skirt. I’d picked her up rather than having her meet me since I didn’t want her going inside alone. The club was usually adept at keeping out the unsavory element who too often liked to take advantage of new people looking into the BDSM lifestyle, but I didn’t trust anyone else to keep Addison safe, especially not after I learned her friends, Dorly and Codie, wouldn’t be there.
“Are you certain you’re comfortable coming back here?” I asked. “Going here isn’t something I feel strongly that I need. I don’t have a personal connection, I mean.”
She reached over and took my hand. “I’m curious,” she admitted. “I think I’ll be able to see it through different eyes than I had before. Plus, it’s at least one place where the chances of running into someone from work are slim.”
“I agree.” I squeezed her hand, hoping she’d understand that I wasn’t ashamed of her or anything like that. Work finding out about us was a headache that neither of us needed.
My heart was thudding as we pulled into the parking garage next to the club. I’d never been nervous coming in here before, but this would be the first time I’d come with someone aside from that first time.
I had a sudden, sinking feeling that my choice to let her in would come back to bite me in the ass.
I stepped around to her side of the car but wasn’t quick enough to get the door for her. Still, I offered her my hand and helped her get out. I didn’t release her as we walked away, but rather pulling her closer, so I could tuck her hand around my arm.
“Remember, if you want to leave, just say the word,” I said as we approached the door.
She nodded, then stretched up to kiss my cheek. “Relax. Everything’s going to be fine.”
I smiled, but I knew I wouldn’t relax until I saw how comfortable she was.
We stayed near the edges of the Friday night crowd, but before too long, she pulled me onto the dance floor. I
tried to protest, but then she’d given me a mischievous smile, and I knew she’d done it on purpose, wanting to push my own limits.
I was nothing if not up for a challenge.
It took me a minute to find the rhythm, but when I stopped trying to follow the music, and instead followed Addison, it came easily. I reached out and put my hands on her hips, drawing her to me. In my peripheral vision, I saw more than a few people watching us, but I didn’t give them anything more than cursory attention. I wasn’t here for them.
She reached up and put her hands on my shoulders, sliding them across, and then up around my neck. We had a few inches between our bodies, but that didn’t stop the electricity that flowed back and forth.
The music was background noise, the lights a mere backdrop. We moved together as if we’d been doing it for years. I’d never enjoyed dancing because I’d never really been in sync with someone, but Addison and I had some sort of instinct when it came to each other. When the song changed, our rhythm matched it, both of us adapting at the same time without a word said.
Something about being with her had altered me in some deeply profound way that I didn’t fully understand yet. I’d always accepted my sexual preferences as a part of who I was, but it wasn’t until now that being here felt natural. This was something I wanted. A place to go where the two of us could be who we were and no one would judge.
And then it hit me. This was what Jax wanted, the reason why he’d continued to look for ways to build his club even after Grandfather had told him that it wasn’t something Hunter Enterprises should get into. The club that Jax built would be better than this one. He hadn’t told me any of his plans, but I knew my brother well enough to know that he wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less than perfection.
I needed to call him and tell him that I understood now. But that wasn’t the only reason why. I was tired of ignoring the issues between us. Having dinner with Slade had made me realize that, no matter how many times I said that I enjoyed being alone, I missed my brothers. What happened to us should have brought us together, but instead, it’d torn us apart. Grandfather had wanted us to mend our relationships, even if he’d gone about it in a less-than-orthodox manner.