Slade wasn’t ready yet, and I had a feeling Blake would be the hardest to reach, but my most recent conversation with Jax made me think that things could start with us.
Thirty
Addison
Cai had a lot going on in his head, and while a part of me wished he’d only be here with me, in this moment, I knew that wasn’t something I could ask of him. We’d agreed to sex, and that was somewhere I could ask for his full attention, but anything else was extra.
Besides, I would’ve been lying if I’d said other things weren’t catching my eye. When I’d come before, I hadn’t been prepared for it. Tonight, however, I saw things through different eyes. I looked past the clothes and looked for the people. I began to categorize them as Doms and subs, mentally filing away things like collars and leashes; if they walked side-by-side or one trailed behind. I knew that not everyone fit into nice little boxes, but these lists and commonalities – finding patterns – helped me understand, and that was ultimately what I wanted to do.
“What are you thinking?”
Cai’s voice barely carried over the music, and I took a step closer to him before answering, “I’m finding the patterns.”
He nodded, and I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t trying to placate me. He understood exactly what I meant. His hands slid around my hips to my ass, and he pulled me tight against him.
“Would you like to check out one of the rooms?”
Like I’d ever turn down sex with Cai. I nodded eagerly, placing my hand in his, and then following him over to a sign in sheet. We filled it out, checked the appropriate boxes and then headed to the closest empty room.
It wasn’t the same room we’d been in the last time, but I was glad to see that it wasn’t a chains and leather dungeon, but rather a tastefully decorated room. It wasn’t over-the-top lavish, but it wasn’t the sort of place that made me feel like I was in a cheap porn either. A bed and a few chairs were the only pieces of furniture, but the walls held a dozen different toys, some of which I recognized from Cai’s playroom. The color scheme was red and gold, and for a moment, my mind immediately thought of Harry Potter, making me laugh.
Cai gave me a sideways look. “Not exactly the response I’d been going for.”
“I couldn’t help it,” I admitted. “I saw the colors and thought ‘X-rated Gryffindor common room.’”
For a moment, he stared at me, and then he burst into laughter. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. I buried my face in his chest, and his scent surrounded me. He kissed the top of my head, and I thought that I could be happy right here, with him, this way.
“I have a confession to make,” he said as he released me. “I’ve always had a thing for Ginny Weasley.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, laughing along with him. “I’ll never be able to watch those movies the same way again.”
He raised my hand and brushed his mouth against my knuckles. “There’s something I want you to do for me, Little Red.”
The mood in the room shifted instantly.
“What is it?” I asked, my stomach clenching in anticipation.
“Have a seat.” He gestured to a simple wooden chair that sat at the foot of a double bed.
I sat on the edge, unsure of where he was going to take this.
“Are you wearing a bra?”
I flushed despite the fact he’d already seen me naked more than once. “No.”
“Panties?”
“Yes.”
“Pull down your top until your breasts are exposed.”
Somehow, the matter-of-fact way he gave the order made it that much hotter. He folded his arms across his chest and watched as I slipped the straps from my shoulders and tugged at the top until the neckline was under my breasts.
“Scoot back.” After I did, he gave another command. “Spread your legs as wide as is comfortable. Pull up the skirt if necessary.”
The dull thudding of the music from the other side of the door was nothing compared to my heart slamming into my ribs.
“I’m going to watch you masturbate,” he said, pulling another chair into the middle of the room. When it was directly opposite me, he sat, his posture laid-back, even if the vibe in the room was anything but. “Make yourself come for me, Little Red.”
Somehow, being exposed the way I was, with him fully dressed, made the Dom / sub dynamic of our relationship clearer than ever, and I found that I wasn’t simply curious about it. I liked it.
A lot.
I knew enough about this sort of thing to know that meeting Cai’s gaze wasn’t what a good sub would do, but I’d never agreed to be good.
When my eyes met his, he didn’t scold me. He didn’t say a word at all. He simply raised an eyebrow, as if he had nothing else to do but wait for me to obey.
I pulled my skirt higher, then dropped my hand between my legs. The crotch of my panties was wet, but that didn’t surprise me. Not being aroused when I was around Cai was unusual.
The first touch made me shiver. Despite having been a virgin until recently, I hadn’t been inhibited when it came to my sexuality. I’d tried different things, discovered the ways I could bring myself to climax quickly, as well as the things I could do to draw things out.
I pushed aside the damp fabric and traced my lips until Cai’s attention fell, and I knew he was ready to watch. One finger slipped between, gathered moisture, then teased the tip of my clit. A light tingle danced down my nerves, and I started with small circles, easing my body into what was to come.
A second finger joined the first, and I made a V shape, rubbing either side of my clit as it swelled and throbbed. I moved my hand lower, my palm pressing down as I slid my fingers inside me. The combination of sensations made me close my eyes, and I let my head fall back.
Faster and faster. More pressure, taking me almost to pain. Slick skin against skin. Up, down, around. Alternating motions to take me closer to release.
And all the while, I was aware of Cai watching me. He didn’t speak, but it wasn’t sound that told me he was still near. I felt him, the weight of his gaze, the heat, and the energy pulsing off him.
I wanted to come for myself, but I also wanted to do it for him. My orgasm was no longer for me alone.
My muscles tightened, and a spike of pain and pleasure shot through me. I pulled up my legs without even thinking about it, my body curling forward, as if I could contain an explosion by wrapping my body around me. Then I was there, limbs shaking, breath coming out in gasps.
As the ecstasy faded, my muscles unclenched, and I flopped back into the chair, uncaring that my legs were splayed wide, my breasts still exposed.
A strange rattling sound made me open my eyes a minute or so later. Cai had returned his chair to its place against the wall, and now he was pressing a button. I couldn’t figure out what he was doing until I followed his gaze up to the ceiling and watched a pair of chains descend. On the end of each one was a metal cuff.
I had a good idea what Cai wanted to do next.
Shit.
“Are you able to stand?” He broke the silence.
“Yes,” I said.
“Do it.”
I stood and resisted the impulse to adjust my clothes. Being a sub was an awful lot like playing the kids’ game ‘Simon Says.’ I’d do nothing until he told me.
No matter how uncomfortable my panties had become.
“Take off your panties.”
I did, grateful to be rid of them.
“Set them on the chair, and then walk over to the chains.”
He joined me a few seconds later, still completely dressed. I looked up at him as he reached out and pinched my nipple. He cupped my breasts, lightly squeezing before leaning down to take my nipple between his teeth. He tugged on it, then rubbed the tip of his tongue back and forth until I could no longer stand still. I clenched my hands into fists, shifting my weight from foot to foot.
When he straightened, the smug smile on his face tol
d me that he’d intentionally pushed me until I had to squirm. I swallowed a smart comment, more eager to move on than I was to get into a debate. He took one hand, lifting my arm until he could latch the cuff around my wrist. Some sort of material covered the inside of it, offering some padding. Still, if he wanted to, he could make me hurt.
I trusted him, though, and said nothing as he latched the remaining cuff around my other wrist. My arms were up, but not stretched too tightly. I twisted my wrists to get a feel for the restraints but didn’t try to get free.
The sound of a zipper drew my attention back to him. He still wore all his clothes, but now, his erection was free, curving up toward his stomach. He stroked it a couple times, then put his hands on my hips. He lifted me, and I pulled on the chains to balance.
“Wrap your legs around my waist,” he said.
I did, his cock rubbing against me as he worked to line us up. Then he was there, sliding inside me like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. His hands locked together at the small of my back, holding me flush against his body. My torso, however, had no extra support unless I used my arms. And with him thick and pulsing inside me, I could barely remember my name, much less how to maneuver with my arms like this.
Then his mouth covered my breast, the suction hard enough to make me gasp. His teeth scraped and nipped my flesh, leaving marks, but I didn’t care. Every sensation went straight to my core, mixing with the almost too-full feeling as he began to move.
I had an odd sense of weightlessness as he controlled every movement. He drove his hips up as he used his arms to pull me down, pushing him deeper than he’d ever been before. My legs were locked around his waist, but I had no illusions about who was in charge here. His mouth moved across my skin, but he didn’t miss a single stroke.
This time, he came first, fingers digging into my hips as he ground me down against him, giving me that last little bit of pressure I needed to follow. Even as he emptied himself inside me, I didn’t think for a moment that he would let me go. With him, I was always safe.
And I didn’t want to lose that.
One day I would, I knew, and all I could do was choose to enjoy the time I had. Which meant I had to focus on the here and now. The future would take care of itself.
Thirty-One
Cai
I let out a slow breath and tapped my brother’s name. There was no going back now. Even if he didn’t answer, he’d see that I called.
“Cai? Is everything okay?” Jax’s voice was more worried than I’d ever heard him. Even when he called about Grandfather, his voice had been flat, controlled.
“I’m fine,” I said, sitting down in my favorite chair. It was an old thing I’d found at a garage sale, but it was far more comfortable than the most expensive piece of furniture I’d had growing up.
“Not that I’m not glad to hear from you,” he said, “but you must admit, it’s not exactly a normal thing. I mean, the last time you called, you were in Texas dealing with some epidemic.”
I took the route he offered. “I’m back in Atlanta now, with my whole team. The treatment I came up with knocked the infection out, and we were able to locate the source and contain it. I don’t know if I thanked you for helping to get my mind off things for a while but thank you.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“I saw Slade.”
Silence.
“How is he?” Jax’s voice was strangely soft when he finally asked. “I’ve been wanting to call him and Blake to tell them about Syll, but I didn’t know how they’d take it. I don’t want any of you to think I’m reaching out because of Grandfather’s ultimatum and what it means for my position at the company.”
“Aren’t you?” I was honestly curious.
“Are you?” he countered. “You’ve called me twice since you left Boston.”
“You know I’m not interested in being a part of Hunter Enterprises. And I don’t need Grandfather’s money.” I picked at a loose thread. “He should have just let you have it all. You’re the one who followed in his footsteps.”
I let my words sit as I waited for a response. I hadn’t flat-out told him that I’d called because I wanted to address what was between us, but I knew him well enough to know he now understood that I was trying.
“I always admired you, Cai,” he said finally. “You excelled at everything. School. Sports. You could’ve stepped up into Hunter Enterprises at any time and left me in the dust. But you knew what you wanted to do, and you didn’t let anyone stop you.”
I sat in stunned silence. He admired me?
“Grandfather was proud of you,” he continued. “I know he wasn’t the sort of man who talked about his feelings, but he bragged about you, all of you guys actually. Every event we hosted or attended, he’d find a way to bring up his successful grandsons. He loved telling people how you worked at the CDC, how you’d gotten there all on your own. Never asked him for help or to make a call.”
“I never knew,” I said softly. “I always thought he held it against me that I hadn’t wanted to join you in the family business. That I’d done what Dad had done and went off to do my own thing.”
“The night he…that night, he was with Ms. K, and I hadn’t even realized he wasn’t in the house. The two of us had lived under the same roof for years, and we rarely spoke outside of work. We never talked about anything that was really important.”
Was Jax really saying that his conversations with Grandfather about work weren’t important? It didn’t seem possible. Hunter Enterprises meant so much to him.
Before the accident, he’d talked about being a professional golfer or a fireman – the usual dreams children had – but not long after the accident, he’d told our grandparents that he wanted to work at Hunter Enterprises. From that moment, he hadn’t faltered.
“Jax, did you really want to run the company?”
He gave a small laugh. “I think you’re the first person to ask me that. From the moment I walked into the dining room and announced to Grandfather and Grandma Olive that I wanted to work at Hunter Enterprises, everyone took it as how things would be. No one thought to ask if I’d been in the right frame of mind, or even old enough to understand what I was saying. And no one ever asked if I’d changed my mind.”
“You’d sounded so sure,” I said. “And you made Grandfather so happy.”
“He did what he thought was best at the time,” Jax said. “But in the end, even he knew that he could have done better.”
“I was never able to measure up,” I admitted. “You were doing everything Grandfather had wanted from Dad, doing odd jobs at the company by the time you were twelve. Everyone loved you.”
“Cai,” Jax began.
I didn’t let him continue. I needed to get this out now, or I’d never say it. “I pushed myself because I thought if I could somehow show that I was as good as you, Grandfather would see me too.”
“Shit, Cai, I didn’t know.”
“No one did,” I said. “When I first heard those stipulations, all I could think was that it was just Grandfather trying to control us after all, force us into being just like you.”
Jax laughed. “My first thought was confusion. I was so full of myself that I couldn’t imagine what Grandfather had meant. We’d just grown apart like siblings do.”
I’d made the call, and I was going to take the initiative. “I’m not doing this because of Grandfather’s will, but I’d like to see if we can…” I searched for the words.
“Be brothers again?”
I swallowed around a sudden lump in my throat. “Yes. I’d like that.”
After a moment, Jax cleared his throat. “How’s your colleague?”
I appreciated the change of subject – that was enough talking about our emotions for today – and followed. “Addison is great.”
“Addison?”
I ignored the question. “How’s Syll?”
“She’s great. You should come back soon so you can meet her before
the wedding.”
“You’re rushing into things, aren’t you?” I asked. “You’ve only known her for a month. An engagement is one thing. Getting married that fast is something else.”
“We’re thinking next year,” Jax said. “But what are the chances you’ll be back before then?”
He had a point. Before Grandfather’s death, it’d been three years since I’d visited. As I talked to my brother, however, I couldn’t imagine not seeing him for another three years.
For the first time since I’d moved to Atlanta, Boston was too far away.
“I’ll plan something soon,” I said.
“Maybe you can bring your colleague, Addison.”
I could hear the smirk in his voice. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh, really? What’s it like then?”
“She’s my intern, and we spend a lot of time together. We’re friends.” All of that was true. Just not the whole truth.
“Do you remember that day at the cemetery when I told you guys about Syll and the club? How I didn’t want to talk about her?”
I made a noise of affirmation, not liking the direction this conversation was taking.
“Syll turned my entire world upside-down,” Jax said without a trace of embarrassment or sarcasm. “She made me see that I could tell myself how fulfilling my work was, and even mean it, but without family, it would never make me happy. She made me see myself in a way no one else ever had.”
“I’m happy for you.” The words fell flat, but not because I didn’t think Jax deserved to be happy. Rather, I kept thinking about how I’d opened up to Addison more than I had anyone else in my life.