New Friends, and old Ways
I’d been traveling now for more than a few months, getting close to sixty years old; my legs may hurt once in a while, but feel almost as strong as I did twenty years ago. This is my first week in Antioch of Phrygia, having spent most of the days making new friends and meeting a somewhat different kind of culture, but all-in-all, glad to be here.
Over the past months, especially the last few weeks, I began missing my wife. On occasion, I have sent messages to her, and twice, I’ve received back dispatches from her stating the happenings of her doings, and each was a refreshment to hear. In these travels, I have met some very special people, and most were entwined in their families, and to watch their interconnection was one of the pleasures of the trip. But on this particular night, I was missing my wife more than usual. In the past twenty something years, I have spent little, and occasionally no time at all, with my family; with the exception of Andrew, and on this night was exceptionally home sick.
I know that what I’m doing is right, and, I think predetermined by the Will of God, and I have no regrets; the sacrifice is well worth the journey to adulthood, and seeing the Ways of God preformed before my eyes. In this still and somewhat cool night, I began to consider my old life; not that I’d go back to those ways of living, but evaluating if indeed I’d made the right decision. I love my wife, and she me, and we made this choice together, and was still hoping that her verdict about this was remaining the same as before. And from the relays, I‘m confident it is.
As I laid on the flat of my back, looking through the flap of the tent, watching the small curls of clouds float by; thought about this life that was placed on her, and knowing it was to be unpredictable, and just what she thought, this many years later. I sure couldn’t have picked a more precious woman, and in my foolish way of thinking, wondered if she thought the same about me. We had talked extensively about our choice of my travels, and all that we could ascertain from that thought process, and didn’t know where they would lead, but did we still think the same way about it now that these many years had passed? The last word relayed to me from her was in Derby, and it was from a man that was told by a group in Tarsus to pass it to me when and if they found me; the message was a great word of support, and all is well down south. I too have sent many messages to her through other travelers, and I’m confident that most of them made to her.
I continued lying there, with all these and other thoughts running thru my mind, some carnal, and most on the things of the Spirit. I knew God had a purpose for me being in Antioch, and for the most part never knew what lied ahead, for who knows the thoughts of God, or His ways, but one thing I’d learned through the years, was not to fear Him with regret. Looking for Him in one direction, He’d always reveal Himself from another; getting ‘so-called smart’, and watching the backwards door, thinking, that’s the way He’ll show Himself, again, the revelation would yet come from a place not expected. All I can say about the matter is; who knows His thoughts or His ways? God is always God, and I am pleased to have met Him thru His Son Jesus.
I really didn’t get much sleep that night, and when the sun had roused me, I realized that this was the first time in many years that I didn’t see the new days’ arrival, but for an odd reason, I felt rested. I must have slept at some point, but didn’t realize it, and it was a pleasant night of thought, as I woke to the sun fully out.
Getting up, I could see in the distance, the swarm of folks doing their daily business, and walked in that direction. Andrew had been keeping an eye out for me as I entered the main part of the city. Filling me in on the goings-on of what he could observe. He’d found out where Paul was, for earlier Titus had spoken about his work in Grace throughout the area, and was as yet preparing a larger group on the other side of town, ministering to them the mercies and love of God. Andrew wanted to go in a certain direction, but my mind was set to go in another, so we split up early that day.
Walking along a row of houses that looked as if they were made of hewn stone, like those we walked by coming up the mountains, neatly made with great care, and I could tell they were built centuries ago, but still solid as the mountain they were made from. Indeed this was where the older families of the city lived, as it didn’t take long to meet several people that were willing to tell the story of their history; where their ancestors came from, and how many generations had lived in the same house. These were not uneducated folks by any means, but men and women that knew the country, and why this city began ages ago, and how several of the families, still living here, had grown rich in this cross-road capital of trading. Through tradition, they had their own beliefs, but the man standing in front of me now, a Gentile named Heziriah, knew the transparency of their religion, and it was now growing old with its’ worthlessness, for the elders would speak of spiritual prosperity, but nothing was happening to their followers except they were dying off. He wasn’t old, but still living in the same house with his parents that were old, that looked to him now to run their affairs.
He had told me of this rather small group in town that brought into it a new message of hope, and wanted to know if I was privy to the situation.
“Sir, have you heard of the Messiah from Bethlehem that brought Truth to those that searched?” I said, but not waiting on his response. “And He that was sent by God, in fact from God, knows the end from the beginning, for He Himself is the Alpha and Omega. One that has brought proof that the living God reins. For no other name shall be called upon for salvation, but the name of Jesus, the Christ of God. For that which man had tried to do, but could in no way do, this same Jesus conquered by the Grace of God, redeeming man back to the Father of Creation, by Love.”
This same man that was leaning upon the lintel post, now stood straight with interest gleaming from every part of his face, for the words spoken had hit an inner place in his being that began to burn with interest. And then spoke; “I have heard tales spoken about this man Paul, and of his encounter with this one you call Jesus, but have only heard through others; and from his mouth, I have heard nothing. Are you in association with Paul?”
“Paul, also a brother, and an Apostle in Christ, and I have not crossed paths until now that I have arrived in Antioch, and as of yet, we have not met, except once in Jerusalem, but there is but one Father, and one Son, and only one Spirit for all in Christ, and we speak the same one language through the same Creator of all. Those in Christ are united by the Love that God shared thru His Son; therefore we are all of the same family.”
Bending back, while looking me straight in the eyes, he smiled, as if content in my rendering of the subject, said in a low keyed tone of speech; “I know where this Paul is, if you’d like, will take you there, for I too want to hear more of this Love that is spreading throughout the country. For the words that I’m hearing that are preached about, are not that of the religious leaders that we have heard before, do you want me to take you there?”
As we began walking thru town, I could see multitudes of people about their daily chores, some would stop to speak, but most were determined to conquer their daily goals. While walking, but not more than a block or two, I saw Titus and Barnabas on the other side of the street looking in our direction, and began thinking through my flesh, that being with this man, a Gentile, might be inappropriate. Feeling flushed, and a little embarrassed, I excused myself for a few moments from him, and walked in their direction, only to see their face turn from a smile to disappointment. At that time I didn’t realize that they understood exactly what I’d done, but then remembered the words that I spoke to Heziriah about the same Spirit for all who are in Christ, for both brothers in the Lord knew what I had done. At that point, I was unacceptable to myself. Especially after the Lord had given to me, those decades ago, the vision of the sheet with all manner of unclean beast in it, and I said that nothing unclean had ever entered into me. But was
told to kill and eat, and call no man common, for all have been cleansed.
“What was I to do? Did I hurt Heziriah’s feelings? How about Titus and Barnabas? What’s God thinking about me now? My thoughts were going every which way, and far too fast to process, I just didn’t know what to do, so I ran back to where I’d left the bewildered man standing in the street; but he was gone. Not knowing exactly where he was taking me, I began to wander in the same direction in hopes of finding him, or for that matter, the Apostle Paul. When younger, I’d put my foot in my mouth with my haste of words, later I’d act them out in some useless deed or motion, but that was maybe thirty years ago, and you’d think, Peter, that something would’ve been learned” I said to myself as I walked aimlessly through the streets. My mind went places that it shouldn’t ought to go; I was ashamed, not just of what I did, but how it came so easily.
As I continued wandering through the streets of Antioch, and some couple of hours later, I found the place that Paul was preaching, and sitting on the-out-skirts of the room, I listened. As I heard the words spoken by this once met Apostle, I could see in clearness, that for a fact, Paul had had a true encounter with the same Jesus that I and the other eleven had walked with. The words spoken by him were similar in kindness and empathy to those of Christ, even in his tone, which made me glad inside, but for obvious reasons, also deepen my embarrassment. At this moment, I began to think to myself, and evaluate the real person that lived inside of this skin I, called Simon Peter; then remembered, that I too was an Apostle, which only added to the down-hill slid I was already in, I was hurting inside. A hurt so deep, knowing one thing, but doing another, that I thought my bones would shatter. I knew I had a journey to travel, but this ache within me hurt more than when Jesus, looking at me, said; “get behind me satan.” I just sat there with my chin in the palms of my hands, and my elbows on my knees, crying in self-pity for who I was.
It was probably hours that I sat there, I could hear and see what was going on, but my mind wouldn’t let it register, before Barnabas came to sit beside me. He had been walking among the gathered crowd in exhortation and any other means of ministering, but said not a word, at least for a while. I believe he knew I was hurting for some reason, not known to him, sat quietly, therefore giving me time and space to regroup before speaking.
“What do you think thus far? Barnabas said with a pleasant look that I didn’t expect.
“Right now I don’t know what to think, but this I know; Paul has an understanding of the things of God.” That was about all that I could get out, at the time.
“If you’d like, when all have gone back home, would you join the three of us over by the stone table that we use as the center-piece?
My mind was racing much faster than the mouth could speak, and I’d felt sort of backed in a corner. Looking back, I can now see that it was me backing myself in the corner. All I could do at that point was to say “yes”.
Before all the gathered folks had left, pitch dark, still sitting in the same spot, I heard a voice over my left shoulder, it was Heziriah. “Peter, from the look on your face, I’d say you’re troubled, and I hope it isn’t from our little ordeal earlier. Things like that happen to us folks, Gentiles, all the time. I understand the segregation and disposition that we sometimes place your people in.”
This only added to my sorrows. I knew that it was his kindness that was coming out, a gentle man in every way, but to me, it was a blunt reminder of who I was. In my youth, I had never struggled with prejudice, nor was I tempted by my peers and the pressure they put on me, I walked where I wanted to go, and did what I wanted to do. But with this defect, that was working from within my flesh, I couldn’t understand, people were always people, and I’ve never really seen them as anything but equals. It didn’t matter about the color of their skin, or their nationality, or for that matter, what they believed, but now, even though my spirit is willing, my flesh wants to segregate.
Looking back up to meet my eyes with Heziriah’, all I could see was a man more godly than I’d ever hoped to become. Genuine in every way, standing there with a smile that was as big as the Orion, a man with true compassion, or he wouldn’t be talking to me with that soft tone of voice. I knew that if this man could forgive me, then God would, and maybe, just maybe, I could also.
All I could say way; “thank you, maybe, with your help, we could become best of friends.”