“I didn’t expect for this to happen. I miss him. I’ve gotten so used to him being a part of my life that I’m not sure I want him out of it.”
“Then don’t. Go to him. Be with him.” Her eyes glimmer in the wavering light. “Only you know what feels right and what doesn’t. With everything in life also come risks. If he’s worth it, you’ll know and then there’s no reason to deny it.”
“He’s gone. I don’t know where he is and the dean wouldn’t tell me. I think Brooke scared him off.”
“She’ll come to her senses sooner or later. The hopeless romantic she is won’t be able to deny you your happiness. If you and Trey love each other like you say, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t be together.”
“But there’s always the issue of him going back to Michigan in the spring.”
“And there will be more obstacles thrown your way. You’re twenty years old, with a full life ahead of you. Don’t let love pass you by because you’re too scared of an outcome you don’t even know yet.”
“She’s right,” Brooke’s voice breaks through. She’s standing in my bedroom doorway, hands on each side of the wooden doorframe. Her eyes are somber as she listens in on our conversation. “May I?” she asks, seeking permission before stepping further.
“Yes.”
“Emma, I didn’t know you two were that serious. I thought it was just a fling. I didn’t want to hear it when I saw you two and listening to you now makes me feel like the world’s shittiest sister.” She sits down in my computer chair, across from my bed.
“You’re not a shitty sister, Brooke.” My voice is low. “You just didn’t want to listen.”
“You took me by surprise. I’ve met one boyfriend of yours, and that was at least three years ago. I never expected that, the next time I saw you with one, he’d be the guy I briefly dated. Let alone...”
“I know, I know.” I sit up taller. “It wasn’t like I went out looking to fall in love with my swim coach. You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you, but I owed it to myself to see what the feelings I had for him meant.”
She licks her lips, nodding. “I know. I was shocked. Hell, I’m still shocked. Do you two know how much trouble you could have gotten into if you were caught by someone else?”
“He’s worth the risk.” I say it again in my head. My eyes drift to Ali’s. She gives me an understanding smile.
“I’m going to leave you two alone,” Ali says as she stands up. Her hand gives mine a tight squeeze before leaving Brooke and I alone.
“Brooke, listen. I love him, and I was…”
She stops me. “Emma, I won’t tell anyone. I wouldn’t do that to you. When I saw you coming into the office today I swear I lost my breath. I was so nervous that someone found out and you were going to get in trouble and lose your scholarship. I would never do that to you. I said those words to be spiteful. I was hurt and mad and I wanted to hurt him more than I wanted to hurt you. And for that, I’m sorry. I was stunned. I really liked Trey, but when I look back now I agree with him. We were better off as friends. I was foolish to say what I did. It was heated.” She stands up and walks over to the bed, sitting next to me. I rest my head on her shoulder, and she curves her arm around my waist.
“I need you to know I would never do anything to hurt you, Brooke. When I was with him it was like no one else mattered but us. That may sound selfish, and hell, what we were doing was selfish, because we weren’t thinking of anyone but us.” I know this next part may be hard for her to hear, but I continue. “There’s an undeniable chemistry between us. I believe in lust at first sight, not love, but when we first met we connected on a level I never knew existed. Yes, there’s a physical attraction, but we have this magnetic pull to one another. We share so many of the same passions that I’m not sure I’ll ever meet anyone like him. Keeping our relationship a secret was to protect everyone involved.”
Her eyes become red as she rubs the tears away. “Then you need to see where that path takes you, Emma.”
“I’m scared that it might be too late.”
She rubs her nose. “What do you mean?”
My face falls. I will the tears away. My heart aches at the thought of him telling me he’s letting me go.
“He said he was letting me go.”
“But is a future without each other better?”
It’s not. There’s no life without love and happiness. I’ll always have swimming. That’s inevitable. It’s who I am and what I was born to do. But I’ll never have another Trey Evans.
***
The wind blows through the Saturday morning air. I rush into the school with Erin and the other teammates. From the sounds of cheers and clapping coming from inside the aquatic center one would imagine half the student body is here.
Entering the locker room, the smell of various fragrances mixed together causes my nose to scrunch upward. Deodorant bottles rest along the ledge of a large mirror that’s hanging on a wall that separates the large room into two. Swim caps are laid out in a variety of vibrant colors on the gray tile floor, making it look like a large game of Twister.
I head over to my locker, spinning the combo wheel to open it. My swimsuit is hanging neatly inside along with my goggles and two caps. Flip-flops snap against the wet floor as one of my teammates walks by. She gives a wave before heading out to the pool.
Once I’m changed into windbreaker pants over my suit, I close my locker and see Erin walking over.
“You ready?” She arches a brow.
“Yeah.” Stretching my arms out behind me, I welcome the pull to my muscles. “I need to loosen up first.” My individual free-style is up shortly, with the 4x100 medley shortly after.
I leave the locker room and enter the pool area to find the bleachers filled with students, family members, faculty, and people from the community. The view brings a tender smile to my face. Brooke and Ali are sitting front and center next to my parents. I give them a giant smile and wave.
I spot my team off to the left, watching the fifty-meter backstroke competitors. As I continue to scan the area I find Trey standing next to Coach Johnson. They’re deep in conversation with the officials.
My temperature rises at the sight of him. My mouth twists upward as I hold my breath. He’s here. He’s gorgeous, but looks just as tired as I do. There are faint bags under his eyes, small lines crease around his eyes, and his hair is disheveled, like he’s run his hands through it twenty times. By the way he looks I can tell he hasn’t slept at all this week, just like me. His posture appears anything but relaxed in his jeans and Bentwood University Swimming polo shirt.
The second I take a step forward, his head shoots up in my direction. He meets me halfway. I can’t read his face. It’s a cross between torture and excitement.
“I didn’t think you were going to be here,” I declare. The corners of my mouth begin to lift.
His eyes seep into mine. “How are you? You doing okay?” His fingers slide into his pockets and his head dips down slightly. He looks shy.
“Trey Evans, are you blushing?” There’s a hint of laughter to my voice, trying my best to make a joke. I hate awkwardness.
He runs his fingers across his chin, studying me. “Emma…” He trails off.
I know he’s not asking if I’m prepared for my race. I long to reach up and take his face between my hands, and it takes everything inside of me to refrain. Looking over at Coach Johnson, who is walking over and watching us, I reply quickly, “I’m relieved. I’m doing much better now that you-”
“Fantastic.” There’s a bite to his tone. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing so well. Why don’t you head on over and stretch—you’ll be up soon.” His eyes become distant as he looks away.
“Trey?” I need him to look at me. I need him to see that what I’m feeling inside is yearning for the need to be close to him. That I crave to hold his hand, kiss him and tell him I love him. That I’m relieved to see him.
“It’s Coach Evans here, Emma,?
?? he sneers. He looks past me and walks away, leaving my heart to sink just a little. Coach Johnson doesn’t say a word as he comes to stand next to me, but I can see the puzzlement spinning in his head.
“Excuse me Coach Johnson.” I give an apologetic smile and follow after Trey.
“What’s going on, Trey?” I need answers. “Why are you so angry with me?”
He stops. I take that as my cue to get in front of him. “You’re relieved? And doing much better?”
“If you wouldn’t have interrupted me you would have heard what I was trying to say.”
“I’m fucking crushed,” he whispers forcefully.
I use the same tone right back at him. “You’re crushed? I’ve tried to reach you so many times! You won’t call me back! You’re the one that went running when the times got tough.”
“To protect you!” His voice is a little louder, causing my body to jerk. His nostrils flare.
Coach Johnson walks up. “You’re in lane four, Emma.”
“Thanks.” My smile barely lifts.
I turn to move. Trey snatches my wrist and whispers, “Look, I’m still your coach, and I need you to be in the zone right now. I can’t have you being pissed off when you have a race to swim. So, please go out…”
“Being pissed just feeds the adrenaline. This isn’t over, Coach.” With my right hand, I clamp down onto his hand and pry it loose.
Getting into my lane, I take off my windbreaker pants. Coach Johnson walks up and takes them from me. He hands me my goggles and I slip them over my cap. This is what I live for. The rush. The way the adrenaline skates through my muscles, heightening my senses, and expanding my heart so my blood pumps faster. I get on my knees and lean into the pool, cupping water in my palms and splash it over my face. I do one last stretch and shake it out. I catch a glimpse of Trey off to the side. His mouth is straight, his face expressionless. Coach Johnson is toward the center of the pool, where I know I can always count on him to be. He likes to chant words of encouragement to us, even though he knows we’re zoning everything out, but I still enjoy his shadow watching above.
As soon as the buzzer goes off, we all dive downward into the warm water. Like I’ve done so many times before, I push and move my body through the water with so much force. With each stroke my body becomes weightless. I slither through the blue thickness. Rumbles from the chanting and stomping vibrate through my chest as I push myself harder. Filling my lungs, I hold the hot breath of air, darting underneath the water to make my turn. I can see someone to my right out of the corner of my eye. Tossing any thoughts or worries aside, I come up to the surface and blow out the air. My head dips into the water, arms and legs slicing through the thickness. With each breath I move my head to the opposite side. When I don’t think I’m kicking or moving hard enough, I push myself faster. The second I touch the wall, I rip the goggles from my face, panting to look at the time board. My eyes blur from the droplets of water in my lashes, but I can see my name flashing in bold red letters next to “1” with a time of 52.04. I slam my fists into the water with excitement.
My eyes look around to find Trey. He takes a few long strides in my direction with a look of admiration spread across his face. He offers his hand to me, and I take it. With ease, he withdraws my body from the water. My nose tips up to get a better look. His lips beg to be touched, but his body tells me differently, as he holds me an arm’s length away.
“Excuse me,” he mutters under his breath.
“Where you going, Coach?” Erin asks, all smiles.
“You guys celebrate. I’ll be right back.”
I watch as he walks away. Before I even know what I’m doing, I step away from the team and grab my flip-flops and pants to run after him.
***
“Trey!” I call his name as I push open the main doors. The wind blows into my damp hair, causing it to stick to my cheek. A light shudder slides down my arms.
I spot him in the parking lot next to his SUV. I start to run when he begins to open his door. I scream his name.
He looks up, perturbed. “Emma? What are you doing?”
“I don’t care about the repercussions. I choose you,” I say. “I want to be with you.” I rush the words out, afraid if I don’t get them out now I never will. “This past week has been torture.”
Desperate eyes stare back at me. “Emma, I can’t do this.”
“Well, I can.” I step into the open door so I’m blocking his way. “I need you to believe in us, because I do. You said when we started this journey that it’s you and me. I will burn with you, Trey Evans. Whatever comes of this, I’ll be right there with you. I’m not ready to let you go. I love you.”
He steps back, stunned. “What?”
“I’m not willing to let you go.”
“No, the other part.” His lips begin to twitch.
I smile. “I love you.”
He takes a small step to close the distance between us. Brushing the hair off my face, he looks down at me. “Say it again.”
“I love you.” I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his chin. “I want to be with you, Trey. I’m tired of keeping this a secret and I’m tired of being afraid. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street, kiss you on the sidewalk, and share every hope and dream of mine with you. You’re all I’ve been able to think about this past week, and I can’t bear another moment without you. I don’t care what happens, as long as you’re by my side.”
His eyes shift to the front doors. “I quit this week.”
My heart stops. “What?”
He looks back at me and lets out a long exhale. I step back, but his hand snatches my wrist. “I can’t do this, Emma.” Tears pour into my eyes. My heart feels like it’s splitting all over again. “I interviewed for another coaching position for next year.”
I try to push out of his hold, but his grip tightens. “In Miami.”
I stop fighting. My eyes dart to his. “You’re staying?”
I can feel his heart racing. The vein on the side of his neck throbs. I’m all ears as I wait for him to talk.
“Emma, when I said I was letting you go because I care, that was the truth, but it’s also because I care that I couldn’t bear to be away from you. After you walked out of my office, I knew there was no way I’d ever be able to go back to Michigan. I told the administration I had some personal things come up and this would be my last race. Coach Johnson will shift into the head coaching position. I won’t know about the job for at least another couple weeks, but I won’t stop until I find something here. In Florida. I don’t know where our future will lead us, but I do know I want you by my side, wherever it goes. Starting now.”
I crash my lips to his, twisting my fingers in his hair. He cries out into my mouth, his breath warm against my lips.
Our pace slows and eventually comes to an end. He wraps his hands around my waist. Every nerve ending in my body shrieks with the simplest of touches. “You better get inside, you have another race to do and I’m still your coach for another two hours.”
I giggle. “I’m going to miss calling you that.”
His eyes grow large. “I’m always up for role playing.”
My smile matches his liveliness.
“Come on, let’s get another win under your belt so I can take you back to my place and congratulate you properly.”
***
We drive up to Trey’s house in silence. I feel as if we’ve come full circle, ending up at the place where we first met. It’s the perfect start to our new beginning. He gets out from behind the wheel all too eagerly. He laces our fingers, leading the way up the newly painted steps to his place.
He picks me up and carries me into the house.
“Bed. Now,” I order against his chest.
He moves with ease up the steps and into his room, where he places me back down on the floor. In one swift motion, Trey’s in front of me taking off my shirt and unclasping my bra. My nipples are firm and erect. He rolls them between his fingers. His coo
l breath against my stiff nipple explodes the current inside of me.
“Like that,” I moan.
His hands squeeze my breasts, filling his palms. “God, I missed you.”
I welcome the gentle twinge of pain. My head falls back, enjoying his hands caressing my body. I can’t say for sure how long he plays with my breasts, but as our hearts continue to beat the passing seconds away, I feel his cock becoming erect against my inner thigh.
We walk together with our mouths connected and hands exploring one another. He removes my pants and kicks them aside. I slide out of my thong, letting my body be free before him.
“Fuck, you are the sexiest woman.” His warm mouth covers my neck. A delicious shudder warms my body.
I give his hair a gentle tug. “I need you inside of me, Trey.”
The ache grows.
He growls.
Standing straight, he tears off his clothing. His eyes flare, causing my stomach to flip. Locking my mouth to his chest, I swirl my tongue along his flesh and over to his nipple, massaging it.
“Don’t torture me,” he hisses.
I laugh against him.
Trey takes hold of my body and takes me over to the bed. He flips me so I’m resting on my hands and knees, bare ass hanging in the air. He gives it a smack, making me cry out in inclination. His palms press against the backs of my knees, spreading my legs further apart, and then he lays his palms on my hips, his erection poking at my slit. I twinge with joy as my core becomes wet. Trey’s fingers run along my slick folds. I look back and watch him rub it along his thick cock.
“Take me,” I breathe. His cock rests at my entrance, taunting me. “Trey!” I beg. He slowly eases his way in.
His movements are slow at first, gentle even. When I push back against him, he begins to pick up the pace, his balls slapping loud against my clit. I cry out louder. My insides pulse, clamping tighter around him. He continues to rock in and out of me.