"Hey wildcat!" Called Vihaan, throwing a fistful of snow at Kimaya as she turned.
Kimaya shrieked and threw snow back at Vihaan, and before anyone realized, they were all enjoying a full-blown snowball fight. Finally, they all stopped, tired. They took some photos and got into the car for their return journey.
On the way back, Kimaya suddenly asked the driver to stop the car.
"What a magnificent view!" She exclaimed. "Let me take a picture of this, please?"
"Sure Kim!" Said her mom, amazed at Kimaya's sudden excitement and interest in the trip. It looked like she had finally given in to the beauty of the place.
Kimaya got out of the car happily, staring at the beautiful view. Suddenly, she appeared at the car window, and said, "Mom, if I move a little away, it will be a much better picture. I'll be back in two minutes okay?"
"Okay! Just be careful, hmm?"
"Of course, mom!"
Kimaya walked slightly away from the car. She took one last look at the view, and then looked back at the car. And then she turned around. She ran, away from the car, towards the trees. She ran as fast as the rough terrain would allow her to. She moved away in the trees, making her way higher, back to where she had been coming from. Towards Zero Point.
As the two minutes Kimaya had asked for came to an end, Mrs. Verma grew a little worried.
"This stupid girl. Vihaan, please go and call her back."
"Yes aunty!" Said Vihaan, getting out of the car.
Five minutes later, he returned. He had a sad and shocked expression on his face.
"Aunty..."
"Vihaan what's wrong? Where is Kimaya?"
"I... I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I searched everywhere I could. She is nowhere to be seen."
"Jesus Christ! NO! Nothing can happen to my daughter!"
"No aunty I'm sure she's fine!" Said Tashanna.
"Just a second ma'am," Interrupted the driver. He asked Vihaan to take him to the place Kimaya had wanted to go. Vihaan did so. The driver stared over the edge and searched for something. He carefully observed the side of the road. Then, they returned to the car.
"Ma'am, I am sure that your daughter did not fall off the cliff," said the driver.
"How can you be so sure?" Asked Mrs. Verma, who was already in tears.
"There is no such sign. The whole area is clean - not a footprint near the edge. The footprints are towards the inner side of the mountain."
"Then where did she go?"
"Perhaps somewhere towards the trees. But why would she do that?"
Mrs. Verma sighed, as she finally realized that Kimaya's happy behaviour had all been just a facade.
"What did you do, Kimaya..."
Vihaan got out of the car.
"Where are you going?"
"To find this stupid wildcat," he declared, storming off into the depths of the trees.
Kimaya
I walked through the trees, making my way upwards. I was not going to back to Zero Point... But I was going to go as high as I could. I made my way, admiring the beauty of the nature around me. The area was so calm, so serene. It felt good. I wished I could stay here forever. But I couldn't. I would die out of starvation. Anyway, I was going to kill myself one way or the other, so I decided not to procrastinate and do it off today itself. I would jump off the cliff when I was sure no one could find me. I didn't want anyone to find my dead body lying on the rocks; I didn't want them to feel worse than what they already will. I had already written my last letter and left it in my suitcase, which was in the car. Someone would surely find it someday.
After over an hour of walking, I reached a spot isolate enough. I was surprised I even made it till here. It was almost three in the afternoon by then. I walked closer to the edge and looked at the scene before me. This place was beautiful. I felt sorry that very soon, I was going to destroy it's peace. I walked back to a tree and sat down. I placed my head on the trunk and dozed away. A few last moments of peace before I meet my end, I guess.
I woke up around two hours later, by the brush of cold wind across my face. It was beginning to snow, and the place looked enchanting. I smiled. God had made my last moments so beautiful... So astounding. The snow might cover up my body, which was good. But as I looked at the view, I started crying. I didn't really want to die - but it seemed to be the only option left. After half an hour of crying, I finally got up.
Chapter 18
July 31st, 2013 (5:45 PM)
The frosty forests lay before her, the white of the snow reflecting off the sunlight. She stared ahead, her jet black eyes focused - there was no looking back now. A tear dropped down her eye, leaving a stain on her pink cheek. She wasn't a person to have regrets, but somewhere, deep in her heart, she knew she would regret this.
Only if she'd be alive to feel the regret. She stood at the edge of the cliff, counting her last breaths, lost in the memories of her gone life. She wasn't very old, but there was nothing left in her life any more. Her gaze was fixed on the snow topped trees, the serenity and calmness filling the air with peace. The cool of the atmosphere seemed inviting - the trees ready to engulf her in their green arms, forever.
She took a step forward, and spread out her arms. This is it, she breathed. Her mind raced back to the few happy memories she had left. Happiness was rare. She was scared of happiness, because the moment she had a smile on her face, life seemed to be bent on knocking it off her face. She remembered all the time she'd passed on this earth - the friendships, the fun, the fuss. And then, the downfall. She remembered the beginning of this all, two years ago. She'd been a mere teenager, and had an acceptably normal life. She had faced the basic problems almost every kid of her age faced, and she'd had the basic happiness most teens owned. She just didn't know that two years were all the life she had left.
She bit her lip anxiously, sweat beads forming on her forehead though it was snowing, as she inched ahead. A voice inside her went insane, screaming her to back off - a voice that remained so silent for months. But it suddenly came to life, as she edged closer to her end.
She passed a glance to her watch, a silver Armani. It was one of her most prized possessions, for it was a gift from her best friend. The watch told her that perhaps she still had some time left to live. It was her birthday today. Only that she believed there was still some time to go. She was born on 31st July, at sharp 7 in the evening. It was only 6 PM. She wanted to be 19 before she died - and in true sense, there was still an hour to go.
She moved away, her footsteps tracing their way back to the tree under which they'd spent the entire afternoon. She whisked off fresh snow that had fallen over the tree roots with her mitten, and settled down on the wood. She curled up into a little ball, her arms hugging her knees. She loved this position. It made her feel tiny and unnoticed by the accusing eyes of the world. And this was perhaps the last chance she would get to be like this, all by herself, no one caring about who she is, what she's up to.
An hour more to go and I'll be 19. And I'll be dead. She sighed. She was scared - not of dying - but of the myth that she might have to start over, as another kid. She didn't really believe much in the superstition that the soul switches body after death, but it did scare her. What if it was true? There was only one way of finding out, she knew that. Dying. If it turned our right, then she'd have to re-live all these years, and probably all these problems too, perhaps more of them. She didn't want to do this, but staying alive was no longer an option. She was scared that staying alive would only lead her to destroying the happiness of everyone she knew. She was sick and tired of life, and these were maybe the last of her thoughts.
She looked at her watch again, and groaned. It had been just two minutes since she'd last checked the time. Great. She sighed, let her head droop over her knees, and closed her eyes.
Her mind gently led her back to the start of it all - that day, around two years back. She had turned 17 the week before. Sh
e was a happy, bubbly girl back then, full of life and joy - and yet, incredibly shy. She had loving parents, and people to call her friends. But all those were things of the past. She didn't know anything anymore - who to trust, who to love.
It all started on that one day, two years ago...only if I hadn't gone.
So much had changed in those two years. Skydiving, the start of it all. Then, Aakash, Tej, and Naina. Michelle. And those two men. Her life was nothing what it used to be like... It seemed to have become a complete complicated mess.
Kimaya put her head down on her knees and stared at her feet. There was almost an hour to go and she had nothing to do, except recall events from her past life. She thought about the times when she was young. A cute little girl with curly hair, frolicking about their house in London. Astrid, her best friend, would be running around with her. And her lovely parents. It was all so perfect.
Damn it! I wish I'd never grown up at all!
"Kimmy!" Said a voice in her head. Oh shut up. Kimaya thought. Don't make this harder than it already is.
And then Kimaya thought of something. Why was she delaying this so much? Why couldn't she just go and it all? It wouldn't hurt much, she was sure of that. One jump, and no one would ever find her. Like she just evanesced off the face of earth. Did she really want to die at all? No I don't, she realized. But then again, more than wanting or not wanting, Kimaya felt that she needed to die. If she stayed alive, someone may eventually find out what had happened with her that night. And then, those men would probably kill Naina. She was already in coma, all because of her. The doctors said Naina was a fighter, and would soon be well, but Kimaya was scared. Vihaan had pretty much forgotten about that night; but if one day, he did remember, he would ask her about it. And it would be simply terrible. Kimaya wouldn't be left with any more excuses. And Naina, perhaps, wouldn't be left at all. Lost in her thoughts, Kimaya dozed away.
She woke up exactly an hour later. She jumped up, wondering if she'd slept too long. A look at her watch made her relax. She smiled a little.
"Happy birthday, Kimaya," she said. "And, goodbye."
She stood up, and walked over to the edge. Her heart was hammering hard inside her chest.
"It's okay, it's okay," She said softly. "I can do this. It's like I'm jumping into the... the swimming pool. That's it."
Kimaya burst into tears. She didn't want to do this. She shouldn't be doing this.
"Who am I kidding... This is no swimming pool." She murmured. "Okay. At the count of ten."
Kimaya moved back ten steps. She's just going to walk off the cliff. There was no need of jumping. Just a little walk.
She started counting.
"Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven--"
"Fall seven times, stand up eight..." Said a voice behind her. She almost jumped off at the sound.
"Life is a gift, don't waste it. Who knows, you may never get another!" The voice continued.
Kimaya stared at the trees. She didn't have the courage to face this person.
"Isn't that what you once told me, Kim?"
Kimaya remembered that night before the art show when she'd gone to meet her captor... Vihaan. When he'd thanked her and told her how he'd been a little suicidal.
Those were the exact words she'd said.
Vihaan's strong arms picked Kimaya up and led her away from the edge.
"Let me go..." She muttered.
"Shut up. You, Miss Kimaya Verma, are coming with me. And giving a reasonable explanation on what made you take such a step."
"Where are you taking me?"
"Home, of course."
"No please! I'll explain here... Not in front of everyone! Please!"
"Fine," said Vihaan putting her down. But he didn't let go of her hand, scared that she might just go and jump off.
"But... I can't tell you anything Vihaan. Those people... Those people might do something to Naina. No."
Vihaan looked at Kimaya, shocked. Kimaya knew the people behind Naina's accident?
"Kimaya...? What are you talking about?"
"It's all because of me, Vihaan. But if I tell you anything, those people will hurt Naina again. That night... The night of Naina's accident... I had just started to tell you about it and they hurt Naina within seconds. I can't do this Vihaan."
"Do you really think someone will be eavesdropping on our conversation in the middle of the mountains - heck no, practically in the middle of absolutely nowhere?"
"I don't know..."
"Kimaya, you have to tell someone. Tell me Kim. Tell me what happened. Who was it who hurt Naina?"
"I am not really sure... I think it was Tej."
"Tej?" Vihaan's eyes widened. How horrible could a human be?
"That night when you went out for your music practice, I got a call. It was Naina, screaming for help. A man's voice took over, and they ordered me to meet them right then, without telling anyone, or Naina would suffer. I wanted to inform someone... But they could see me. I couldn't call for help. They gave me directions, till I reached some isolated spot. A man grabbed me from behind, and as I struggled, another came from the front on a bike. Naina's voice had been recorded on a tape recorder, to lure me in. I had a feeling that it was Tej and one of his friends; but they had masks on and I couldn't see their faces. However much I tried, those masks would just not come off.
They did what they did with Sharon and Naina years back, Vihaan. They teased me, harassed me... When I tried to struggle, one of them took off a knife from his pocket, and cut open my sleeves, maybe just to scare me. My struggles earned me a few scratches and cuts on my arms too. I didn't fall down the stairs that night, I'm not so clumsy. It was all so terrible, Vihaan. It was only then that I could understand what had made Sharon kill herself... They held me tight... And I was so helpless. They let me go so that I'd reach home just before you did. But only with a warning that if I opened my mouth about all this, they would her Naina. But I made a mistake... I didn't take their warning too seriously... And Naina paid the price... She's in coma today, Vihaan... And the fault is only mine. I ruined her life. And I lost the right to my own. You shouldn't have stopped me Vihaan..." Kimaya completed, crying.
Vihaan just stood there, trying to digest this whole new outlook to Naina's accident. Kimaya kept crying, not knowing what else to do.
Vihaan took Kimaya into his arms. The poor girl had kept all this in for over a month... And finally, the result of the depression had come out. Had he not reached on time, she would probably be dead.
"It's not your fault, Kimaya," he said gently. "Now stop crying. It's payback time. Those men who did this to you and Naina, they will suffer for it. They can't hurt two wonderful young women for no reason and get away with it. Come, Kim. Let's go back."
"No... How will I ever face the others?" Sobbed Kimaya.
"Then what do we do? Set up an igloo in the snow and live here forever?"
Kimaya couldn't help a little chuckle.
"You don't have to face anyone. All you need to do is go home and relax."
He picked Kimaya up and carried her to the car, where she had a little reunion with her family.
"Where did you go Kim? Do you have any idea how worried we were?!" Demanded her mother.
Kimaya looked at Vihaan pleadingly. She did not want to talk to anyone at that moment.
"Aunty, I think we should leave her alone for some time. I'll tell you everything. But let's just take Kimaya home for now," said Vihaan. He did think it was better for Kimaya to tell everything herself; but he knew that she was too upset and unstable at that moment to explain anything more to anyone else.
"But Vihaan, what happened?"
"I'll explain, Aunty. Just get Kim into the car."
Mrs. Verma nodded and made Kimaya sit inside the car, after wrapping a warm blanket around her. She'd been in the cold for too long, she could fall seriously ill. Everyone got into their cars, and soon, they headed towards Lachung. They would go back to Gangtok and then to the n
earest airport the next day, since their flight was scheduled to leave the next night.
When they reached, Kimaya got into her room, changed, and buried herself beneath the blankets.
"Kimaya?" Said her mom, coming into the room. "Have dinner, sweetheart..."
"I'm not hungry..."
"Please? A little?"
"No mom..."
"Kim, Vihaan is refusing to tell me anything... What happened baby?"
Kimaya turned away. She didn't want to answer. She knew how much she was hurting her sweet mother, and it hurt her much more to do that. But sometimes, you just can't help some things. Mrs. Verma pressed on for a few more minutes, and finally left. After a little time, Tashanna entered the room. She didn't say anything. She could sense that something was very wrong; and she didn't think it would be good to worsen the situation by questioning much. As she lay down to sleep, Vihaan came in.
"Tasha... Could you sleep with mom and dad today? I need to talk to Kimaya."
Tashanna looked at her brother curiously, and got up, without a word. She went out of the room, leaving Kimaya and Vihaan alone.
"You need to tell them on your own, Kimaya," he said.
"No."
"It will be much better if you tell them."
"Please Vihaan, I don't want to talk to anybody."
"Kim... For how long will you avoid people? Days? Weeks? You can't lie to them for so long. You can't lie to yourself for so long."
"But they'll hate me Vihaan. They'll hate me for what I've done. I destroyed Naina's life, her future!"
"You told me, didn't you?"
Kimaya nodded.
"And did I ever say I hate you? You are not at fault Kimaya. And I'd say, you're one of the bravest girls I've known. You walked towards danger, just to save a dear friend. You didn't bother about the fact that you may end up getting hurt. You just wanted to save Naina. And you bore all this pain for a month... Just so that they don't hurt Naina any more. They have no reason to hate you Kimaya. You are brave. You are amazing."