Read I'll Be Okay Page 15


  "You're awake?" I asked, staring at her closed eyes.

  "Yes," she said, opening her eyes and smiling. "Kim."

  The tears I'd been holding back since I received Vihaan's call finally spilled out.

  "Hey, don't cry, Kim," Naina whispered as I made a mess out of myself.

  "I did... I did this," I stuttered. "I did this to you. You lost so much time of your life, all because of me."

  Naina's eyes started to water too, and I mentally smacked myself for making her cry. She was still weak.

  "Shut up Kimaya. It's not your fault. Vihaan told me how you've been chastising yourself for the past few months. But you know what? You're one of the bravest girls I know! You fought so that Sharon would get justified. You bore all that pain all alone so that I wouldn't get hurt. And then you fought again, to give me justice. I don't know anyone braver than you, Kim."

  I stared at her, tears still falling out of my eyes.

  "And now, I feel so guilty," Naina continued.

  "Why are you feeling guilty?" I asked, confused.

  "Because I should have been more careful. That accident could have been a lot less serious had I been less careless but I was giving that much attention to my driving. I was missing Sharon so much, I was lost in my thoughts. And I didn't see that truck till it was too late. I... I'm sorry. But I guess, now you'll stop blaming yourself, won't you?"

  What?

  A sudden wave of anger and annoyance gushes over me. She only told me this so that I would stop blaming myself? What is wrong with this girl?!

  "Are you crazy Naina?" My voice was low, as I tried to contain my anger.

  She didn't reply.

  "You are crazy!"

  "I know," she muttered.

  "Of course you do! You are completely crazy! You almost died! You could have never woken up!"

  "I'm sorry Kim.."

  I sighed and let the topic drop. We started talking about what had happened when Naina was asleep, my life in NYC, and all such things.

  Soon, the nurse ushered me out of the room, saying that she needed to check up on Naina. I stepped out of the clean white room, looking around for Naina's mom who had been there in the morning, when I reached. However, the only person I could find was Vihaan.

  "Where's everyone else?" I asked.

  "They went home to change and relax for some time."

  "Then why are you here? I'm pretty sure you need some rest too," I said, eyeing the dark circles which were beginning to form under his eyes.

  "Yeah, I'll go once the others are back. I had to stay for some stupid hospital formality."

  "Oh." I realized that since Vihaan had signed the initial papers for Naina's hospitalization, he still had to do the formalities.

  "So how's New York?" He asked. "Written any new books yet?"

  "New York's fine. And no, I've been too worried about Naina to write anything new."

  He nodded, understanding me. It had taken a lot of arguments to just make me go back to New York; I hadn't wanted to leave Naina's side. Writing was simply out of the whole scenario.

  "What about you? I suppose it's your last year before you graduate?" Vihaan had been doing business studies, though he wanted a degree in music instead. But Mr. Arora was insistent and argued that if Vihaan completed his education the way his father wanted, he could become a musician. Vihaan had reluctantly agreed.

  "Yes. And I realized that maybe business isn't as bad as I thought. I'm planning to do a post-graduation in business studies from a good college abroad, and then come back and handle dad's business."

  Whoa. That was news to me. The last time I'd met him, he was adamant on becoming a musician.

  "Whatever happened to the rock star dreams?" I asked.

  "Let's just say that I found event managing just as interesting."

  "Awesome!"

  He grinned at me and I grinned back. It was nice talking to Vihaan after so long. I suddenly wondered where Tashanna was.

  "Where's Tasha?"

  "At home. We'll go meet her tonight."

  "Tonight?"

  "Yeah. Aren't you coming home with us?"

  "Yes, but I thought I'd go back to my house later on."

  "No, I'm not letting you do that. I mean come on, let's have a movie night or something! It's been ages since we did that."

  That sounded good.

  "Okay then! But I'm still going to go to my house for some time. I'll come back after dinner okay?"

  "Well, okay then."

  The doctor came along.

  "How is she doctor?" I asked.

  "She's doing fine, but I noticed something off in one of the recent reports. The accident messed up with her insides, something we didn't realize when she was asleep. We might need to hold her in the hospital for a little bit longer till her reports are clear.

  "That's not a problem, sir. Just make sure that she is okay," I said, tensing up. I wanted Naina to be completely okay. Messed up reports were a bad sign.

  The doctor nodded and left.

  I felt scared, suddenly. What if there's something seriously wrong? No, that's can't happen. That can NOT happen. She simply has to recover. She's already spent too much time in hospital.

  I felt Vihaan's hand on my arm and snapped out of my thoughts.

  "Just relax okay?" He said. "She'll be alright."

  "I hope so," I said, still upset.

  "Stop thinking about it Kim. She's going to be fine."

  I nod.

  "So how's that book you'd written? Contacted some publishers yet?"

  Trust Vihaan to change the topic. But I let him.

  "Good. One of the editors was interested."

  We talked for some more time, and I told him about Naina's confession. He was shocked.

  Soon, the nurse came out and told us that we can go talk to Naina. We went inside her room and soon lost track of time as our conversation filled the room.

  ***

  Vihaan

  That night, after all our crazy fun, I lay awake in bed. Tashanna and Kimaya were already asleep. But I couldn't sleep. The doctor had said something which was worrying me. Thank goodness Kim hadn't been there when he'd told me this; or she wouldn't be sleeping right now either.

  The accident had damaged Naina's insides more than we had earlier realized. The hospital was doing the best it could, but the doctor was uncertain about how much more Naina's body could take. It was a miracle in itself that she had even woke up, perhaps a sign that she was getting better, but the negative signs her reports showed after her waking up were ominous.

  I felt scared. Naina's return had brought back the piece missing from our lives. If something happened to her again, the impact would be worse this time. It had taken everyone a hell lot of time to get back to their normal routines after Naina had first gone into coma. And Kimaya... She would probably slip into depression again.

  I groaned. Maybe I was just overthinking. Naina would be okay. I should probably try to sleep.

  And sleep I did, until I was woken up by my phone ringing. I glanced at the time. 4:12 AM. Who is it at this time? But the caller ID shocked me. Scratch that, it scared the living daylights out of me.

  "Vihaan?"

  "Doctor? What happened?"

  "It's about Naina. She's critical."

  And that's all I needed to hear.

  "I'll be right there."

  I rushed off to the hospital. I didn't bother waking anyone up. I knew I should probably tell Kimaya, but I couldn't think. All I could think of was Naina. She was critical. She could die. She could slip into coma again. All the terrible possibilities crossed my mind as I drove to the hospital. This can't happen. This shouldn't happen.

  I reached the hospital and rushed through the formalities. She needed another operation. They were in the middle of the surgery now. Naina's parents were already here. Her mom was crying uncontrollably, and her dad was trying to comfort her mother. But it was quite useless, actually. You couldn't ask her to stop crying. That wou
ld be just... Inhuman, I guess. Any mother would be sobbing if her daughter was in a critical condition... Again.

  "Vihaan?"

  Naina's father's voice shook me out of my thoughts. I looked at him.

  "I think you should inform everyone. Before it's... Too late."

  Too late? Did the doctor say something? I asked him that.

  "He just said that she was extremely serious. Her body is starting to give up." His voice was shaky, and I could tell he was trying to hold back tears. Honestly, that was kind of what I was trying to do too.

  I just nod, afraid that I wouldn't be able to speak.

  "Go tell everyone," Mr. Agarwal told me.

  I nodded again, and left.

  I drove back home, wondering what to tell to Kimaya. I thought about it again and again, until I realized that there was no way to reveal the news to her without breaking her heart. I would have to tell it to her, no matter how much it would hurt.

  I entered the room she and Tasha were sleeping in.

  "Kim..." I said softly.

  She didn't wake up.

  I walked up to her and gently shook her.

  "Kim," I said again, this time a little louder.

  She woke up with a jolt and looked around. First at me, then at the clock, and then her gaze settled on me again.

  "What happened?" She asked. Her voice was gentle and concerned. Suddenly, I couldn't hold it back anymore. The tears slipped out of my eyes.

  "Vihaan? What happened?" She asked again.

  "Naina..."

  She didn't need to be told twice to understand what was going on. She was up and dressed in a flash.

  Tashanna too had woken up by now. She told us to leave for the hospital, saying that she would inform everybody else.

  We reached the hospital and hurried to operation theatre where Naina was supposed to be. But when we reached there, the lights of the theatre were off, and no one was around. I found a nurse who had known Naina and asked her where Naina was.

  Kimaya

  The nurse didn't say anything, but just asked us to follow her. She led us down the halls, through the spotless corridors, to a section of the hospital containing small rooms. She quietly opened the door of one of them, and let us inside.

  The sight that greeted us made me crumble.

  Naina was lying on a small bed. There were no wires attached to her. Her mom looked terrible - there were heavy tear stains on her face, but she wasn't crying anymore. She was just staring into the space, and her gaze was empty. Her dad sat silently, his head in his arms. He did not look up to acknowledge our presence. There was no one else in the room, no doctor, no nurse. The atmosphere was depressing. But then my eyes settled on Naina and I fell back into Vihaan's arms.

  She wasn't breathing.

  Naina was not breathing.

  There wasn't even any external device helping her to breathe. The heart monitor showed nothing but a straight line.

  This couldn't be happening. Right? It’s all just a joke – it has to be.

  I rushed to the bed Naina was lying on. Her face was pale, and her chest didn't rise and fall in its smooth rhythm. I couldn't speak. The tears were flowing freely, and I made no attempt to stop them. I threw my hands around the girl who had become so precious to me in the past year, somehow wishing that she would hug me back. But she didn't. Her skin was cold and unmoving.

  I stayed like that, hugging her, till I felt a strong pair of arms pulling me back.

  "Stop it Kim," I heard Vihaan's voice.  It only made me cry harder.

  "Kim..." His voice was hoarse. He'd been crying too.

  "Let me go..." I whispered, speaking up for the first time.

  "No," he said, still pulling me back.

  I struggled for a little while, before giving in. He pulled me to a bench in the room and made me sit down, pulling me into his embrace. I cried on his shoulder, still not believing what had just happened.

  Naina was dead.

  The girl with the sparkly eyes, a bright smile. The girl who was filled with so much love, it was impossible for anyone to not like her. She was gone. I had met her just today. She was alright, she was smiling.

  And now she was gone. Just like that.

  Vihaan stroked my hair, trying to calm me down. But I didn't want to calm down. I wanted to cry out all the water I had inside me. I wanted to cry till the world ended. I just wanted to cry.

  "It's okay," Vihaan whispered. "It's not wrong to cry... You can cry as much as you want." It was like he read my thoughts. Others came and went, but I couldn't think about anything else. I wanted Naina to wake up. I wanted all this to just be a nightmare. But it wasn't. Naina was really gone. And there was nothing I could do to bring her back.

  Epilogue

  Kimaya

  Naina's funeral was three days later. Everyone was there. Even Astrid had flown from London to meet Naina one last time. It had felt nice to meet her, but I was still too devastated to care about anything else.

  "Stop crying, Kimmy," she said.

  I simply shook my head. I had tried to stop, I really had. But it was only a matter of time, before I remembered another sweet memory with Naina, and started crying again. Vihaan was my rock; I knew he was trying to be strong for me. He would cry occasionally too, but not as much as I thought he would. I needed someone to help me right now, and that's exactly what he was doing. My parents weren't much of a help either, they too were depressed.

  Vihaan wouldn't tell me to stop crying, or that I'd moped enough. He wouldn't tell me I was being stupid and unrealistic. He wouldn't push me to stop denying the fact that Naina was gone. He would just hold me as I cried, letting me pour my tears out. He didn't tell me that it was okay, he just said that it would be alright someday. He didn't tell me to move on; he told me that it was okay to cry. He wasn't trying to make me feel better - and I guess that's what I needed right now. I needed to cry all I could. I knew that it was going to hurt, and I couldn't deny that hurt. I had to face the pain; I couldn't run away from it. And all I needed was someone who wouldn't force me to run away.

  I had still not accepted the fact that Naina was dead. I would start crying at random times, and once I started, the tears would take hours to stop. Just like right now. It was her funeral. It made everything feel so real. Everything which I had thought to be a horrible nightmare. I knew it was real, but I did not want to accept that fact. A funeral was too real. She really was gone. And I couldn't save her.

  The accident had destroyed her body's insides; something which the doctors hadn't noticed till it was too late. They had tried their best to save her, but she was too damaged. When she woke up, her body started demanding more energy, which she couldn’t provide. The problem which had started due to the accident worsened, and finally, her body gave up. She was gone, dead. She would never come back.

  No matter how much I prayed or cried.

  "Hush, Kim," Vihaan said in a soothing voice. "She's in a better place now. And you know what? She's with Sharon. She's happy. And I'm sure she would want you to be happy too... Just stop crying Kim... You'll be okay."

  I nodded. It felt better to think of it in this way.

  And in that moment, I really did believe that everything would be okay someday. That we were going to be fine. And till then, I could just hang on to the last shreds of hope left, and try to believe, that I'll be okay.

 
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