Rocks settled in my stomach. I folded my hands together to keep steady. Steady Ava. Keep calm. I would not let Russ see my emotions. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but I had no evidence. Rhett had told me I was there that day with him. Had Russ been there as well? Nausea coiled in my stomach like a viper ready to attack.
“That’s great you found out who he is.”
“Did you overhear anything about their plan of attack?”
“No. Like I said, they locked me in a room.”
“Do you know where their hiding base is?”
“No.”
“You don’t have any valuable information to share. I’ll let Mr. Novak know you’re clean. Enjoy your dinner. See you in the morning.”
I didn’t bother to be polite. Relieved he hadn’t asked me about shooting at the ISAN guards, I sauntered for the door and debated whether I should probe for more answers. Not able to help myself, I halted in the middle of the room.
“How long has ISAN been around?”
“They don’t disclose that kind of information. Only the founders would know.”
“How long have you been here?”
“I started working for ISAN a little before you came aboard.”
“How about Lydia?”
“Same for her.”
“How about Mitch?”
Russ rose from his chair, and approached me. “I’m not going to answer for him. You need to ask him yourself. Better yet, don’t ask him anything. Why are you asking these questions, Ava?”
I didn’t answer. I remembered Mitch had said he’d been out in the field a lot longer than Russ when I’d gone to kill Mr. San. Reyna had also mentioned Mitch, like she knew who he was, but I hadn’t asked. When Mitch and I were next alone, I would drill him with questions. I figured I could ask one question before he decided to stop answering.
“Are there other ISAN facilities besides us?”
Russ placed a hand behind my back and guided me to the side, away from the door. “Yes. There is one in each of the four territories.” His voice lowered to a whisper and didn’t hesitate. At least he hadn’t lied about that.
“We will be meeting the other ISAN groups soon and possibly working together,” he added casually, like he was telling me the color of my hair.
The news thrilled and shocked me. According to my father, my twin was in the West. My lips slightly curled at the corner. Would I recognize my twin?
“Where are we located?” Though I knew the answer, I needed a confirmation.
“I can’t disclose that information. But you’re a smart girl. I think you know.”
I had a hunch we were in the East and it had been confirmed when I traveled to the Leviathan Hotel. It wasn’t too far. I had recognized the hotel when Rhett had taken me to the city.
Since Russ seemed receptive, I probed more. “Can ISAN erase someone’s memories?” As soon as those words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What was I thinking? My desire to find answers made me bold.
Russ chuckled lightly and cocked an eyebrow. “You forgetting things, Ava?”
I scowled. Russ found my question amusing, and obviously he had no idea, or he wasn’t going to give me an answer.
“Never mind.” I sighed, beyond frustrated. “Was the blood test the only indicator that pointed to the kidnapper?”
I needed to know if Russ knew about the messages Rhett sent me, or if he had been spotted on cameras when we were out in the city.
Russ glimpsed over his shoulder to his desk and then back to me. “Rhett contacted us. He let Mitch know he was going to release you on the third day. We were to meet them at the Abandoned City. Mitch wanted to go earlier, in case he wasn’t telling us the truth. His team wanted to scout out the place, but they ran into trouble.”
I wasn’t sure what hurt me the most; the possibility Russ had lied to me or Rhett had kicked me out. At the end, just like the book, Rhett walked away after relentlessly pursuing me. Though it wasn’t fair of me to think that way. I was the one who had made the decision to go back. He would have let me stay.
“I should be dead.” I folded my arms in front.
“What do you mean?” Russ furrowed his brow, his eyes focused in heavy concentration.
“I should’ve had a heart attack since I never made it back to our sub-glider.”
Russ shifted uncomfortably. “It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. We wouldn’t have let it get that far.”
He didn’t look away like I thought he would. It meant he told me the truth.
“You said you wouldn’t let it get that far for me. Are you trying to tell me Mitch didn’t activate my capsule?” I waited for his answer. When he didn’t, I pressed more. “But how about Brooke, Tamara, or Justine?”
He bristled and his nostrils flared.
“Why, Russ?”
“This is where I draw the line.” Russ wrung his fingers around my wrist and practically dragged me to the door. He let go of me and spoke with an authoritative tone, “Go have a nice meal with your team. Make sure to drink your protein shake. Tomorrow, you’ll be sent to the doctor to get detoxed. You’ve missed three days. You’ve got a lot to catch up on with your studies and training.” Rubbing his chin, he paused to inhale a deep breath. “By the way, if you get another message on your TAB, I forbid you to reply. Don’t worry. I don’t intend on reporting you, but you need to stop. ISAN monitors your TAB activities.”
Blood rushed through me so fast I thought I would faint. I didn’t know how Russ knew, but he’d found out. Either he was bluffing to see my reaction, or he had purposely gone out of his way after I had opened my big fat mouth.
Leaning closer to me for my ears only, he added, “Look within yourself. Sometimes trauma can cause memory loss. Don’t ever ask me that question again.”
Ice coated my spine and my tongue. Russ knew more than he would share. At least he’d told me that much.
Look within yourself. Had I caused my own memory loss? Rhett had mentioned the same.
Without a word, I got the hell out of there.
My tray thumped on the table next to Brooke.
“Who pissed you off?” Brooke asked. She already finished with her meal. “What took you so long?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll fill you in later.” I groaned.
“Hi, Ava.” Tamara smiled warmly, her eyes glistening.
I could only muster a half smile.
Nobody else around me seemed to care I existed—even my own teammate Justine didn’t acknowledge me. I was beginning to wonder if she was happy to see me.
Tamara grimaced. “You’re going to eat rice with your fingers?”
Being used to eating with my fingers for the past few days, I had forgotten to grab a fork. “I’m too lazy to get a fork.”
I dropped rice between my fingers when shoving it into my mouth. Heads turned as if I was uncouth. Their heavy stares weighed on me, and their soft whispers rubbed me raw.
Was it about me being gone for three days or the way I was eating? Everyone’s words jumbled together. Then I listened past the murmurs. They were definitely talking about me.
“How many days had she been kidnapped?”
“Do you think she tried to run away and they are covering that up?”
“She’s eating with her fingers.”
I’d had enough. I smacked my hand on the table. “It’s fun. You should try it.”
Justine narrowed her eyes at me. “What’s wrong with you?”
“They were talking about me. Didn’t you hear them?” As a burning sensation rose to my face, I voiced louder. “I was kidnapped, held for three days, and now people are looking at me as if I betrayed them.”
I couldn’t believe I’d said those words. If my emotions had been all over the place when I was with Rhett, they got worse at ISAN. I didn’t know how to glue them back together to make me whole again.
I missed Rhett, Ozzie, Reyna, and the other friendly faces. With them, I’d felt a sense o
f unity and security. At ISAN, I felt disconnected. Their only interest in me was as a weapon.
“Ava.” Brooke touched my trembling hand. “I didn’t hear anything. No one said anything. I mean, everyone is talking within their groups, so it’s not quiet in here. Are you okay?”
Cringing, I dipped my chin in embarrassment at my half-eaten lunch. Was I going crazy?
“Sorry.” I scrubbed my face with my hands. “I’m just really tired. I’ve had a long week.”
“Did they torture you?” Tamara swallowed her last bit of asparagus with a crease between her eyes. “Is that what you’re upset about? I wanted to ask you questions about it, but I didn’t want to bring up bad memories.”
“No. They were really nice.” I regretted saying it. “I mean ... they didn’t ... they treated me fine.”
I couldn’t find the right words without saying too much. I didn’t want to make it sound like they were our enemies, yet I didn’t want to make it sound like I’d enjoyed being with them, either.
“Could we talk about something else?” I asked.
That was all I had to say to get Justine chatting away. “You’re not going to believe this, but I overheard a conversation between Russ and Mitch when I went to the mental training room earlier to ask Russ if they’d found out any news about you. I only got little bits, here and there, before Lydia spotted me. Anyway, they’ve recruited more teens and we’re going to meet them tomorrow. Mitch sounded really excited. Something is special about this group of newbies.”
“I hope they bring in hot guys,” Tamara said. “Russ and Mitch are starting to look like one of the girls.” She chuckled.
I had to laugh, especially when Brooke spat a mouthful of water on Justine.
That was kind of epic and warranted.
* * *
I asked Brooke to wander to the restricted areas with me after dinner. Instead of going to the hallway to my room, I went the opposite way when the coast seemed clear. Walking with my head down, I listened for the sounds of boots scrapping or voices.
I halted. With a hand I motioned Brooke to stop. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what? I didn’t hear anything.” Brooke ogled me like I was her idol.
Brooke’s sense of hearing wasn’t strong without Helix, but mine was better. I didn’t realize it until I heard the footsteps and Brooke didn’t.
“Stop staring at me, Brooke.” I pointed at the floor. “Stay right here and let me know if you see or hear anyone coming this way. I’m going to see what’s behind those doors.”
When she nodded confirmation, I went to the first door. I should’ve known better. The handprint scanner wouldn’t let me in.
What are they hiding?
Though my sense of hearing wasn’t as acute as when I was in a mental mission, something was happening to me. While the serum wore off on the others, it lingered in my system. My hearing was heightened to a degree it hadn’t been before. It wasn’t just that. I saw a faint blueprint of the area—and the red dots that indicated people—but not what was behind the walls. Or maybe there were no bodies in those rooms? It wasn’t the first time it had happened without Helix. But it had gotten stronger.
There was one room left to check and the door was unlocked. I went inside to see an empty room and another doorway fixed with a circular-shaped window. Unable to enter, I turned on my heel to go back to Brooke. As I did, a man in a white lab coat stepped out of a room. I got a glimpse of his pale face and gray eyes.
My heart leaped out of my chest. Dad? Could he be my father?
A memory flashed like a daydream. I was in a lab room, the same place I had dreamed about when I fell out the window assassinating Mr. Thorpe.
“Ava. How long were you standing there?” My father asks.
I stiffened from his scolding tone and my four-year-old body goes cold. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
My father leans down, his face softening. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He plants a kiss on my forehead and caresses my cheek. “I love you, Pumpkin.”
I feel his love expand my heart and everything is fine. “I love you, too, Daddy.”
“Go to your room. After I finish my work, I’ll read you a book.”
The memory faded.
I shivered. Shaken by the glimpse of the past, I clutched my chest from the pang, recalling a small treasured memory of my father and realizing how much I loved him.
Look within yourself. How and why had I forgotten this memory of my father?
I tapped on the glass, then the door. He couldn’t hear? When I knocked on the glass harder, he entered another room.
What if Brooke and I got caught? I was being reckless. The need to find my family screwed up my judgment.
Get out of there, Ava. Don’t get caught. You’re not just messing with your life but Brooke’s, too.
I stilled and my pulse soared. Mr. Novak came out of the same room the man in the white lab coat entered.
Crap.
Slouching, I stayed clear from the window, and cursed when I heard faint footsteps. Why hadn’t Brooke warned me? No, not that she hadn’t, but she couldn’t.
The sound came near the first door I’d entered. Without Helix, it was undetectable for her, but apparently not for me.
I dashed to Brooke, my heart racing. She had no inkling of what I had done when I grabbed her and hid us down another hallway. When the sound faded, I led her out of the restricted area. I kept the findings to myself, to keep Brooke out of trouble. One day very soon, I would have to tell her everything, but not that day.
The next day after breakfast, all of the ISAN girls went to the meeting center. Mr. Novak, Mitch, Russ, and Lydia waited on the raised podium. With my hand behind my back, I stood in line and waited.
“Good morning.”
Mr. Novak’s cheerfulness didn’t settle well with me, and hair rose on my nape.
“I’ve gathered you here to tell you some good news. First, we had a major breakthrough with our serum. Let me introduce you to the new members of ISAN. Come on out, Miguel, Rex, Payton, Jessie, and Hugo.”
Excitement rose in the air with loud cheers and wolf whistles.
Mr. Novak—or whoever picked the subjects—was not biased regarding race. The guys on the stand were from different ethnic backgrounds. They wouldn’t be the type of guys I would imagine fighting big men, but then again, no doubt they had the special DNA and would be given Helix.
Had my father finally perfected the serum for male subjects? I guessed I would know soon enough. And why did they need more subjects?
A war is coming, Ava. Both Reyna and Rhett had warned me. Their words invaded my mind, freezing me in place. I don’t want to be on opposite sides.
Mr. Novak raised his hand to quell the noise. “I know you’re excited and so am I. They’ll be housed on the opposite end of our facility, in the restricted area. New rules will be implemented regarding the type of physical contact allowed between genders. Don’t try to sneak around. More cameras will be installed in places you wouldn’t expect. If you’re caught breaking the rules, you’ll be asked to leave. Leaving would not be to your benefit.”
His last sentence made my stomach roil.
“More cameras?” Brooke said through gritted teeth. “Freakin’ great.”
“Does that mean no physical contact?” Justine sighed.
“As soon as we’re done with the meeting, you’ll have a short recess. Our new members will be placed on the teams your superiors feel will work best. For the second good news, I can’t take all the credit. Ava, please step forward.”
I blanched. Though I’d heard his command, I couldn’t move.
“Ava.” Brooke nudged me out of my stupor. “Mr. Novak called you. Go.” She gave me a little push.
The arrogant grin plastering Mr. Novak’s face sent a shiver down my spine. My purpose for being there was for his benefit and not mine. Never mine.
My pulse raced, my legs became unsteady, and my jaw clenched. The platform I stood
on detached from the ground and ascended, almost to the same level as my superiors.
Mr. Novak cleared his throat, and his gloating eyes warned me I wouldn’t like whatever he had planned.
“Ava, you’re probably wondering why you were brought up to the front. I want everyone to know what you’ve done for us. As you all know, Ava was kidnapped by a group of rebels that wants to ensure ISAN falls. This group was created by a known criminal who feeds you lies to make you believe we are the enemy. Your bravery and wisdom has led us to the rebels, and we’ve taken them down. Lower the screen, Russ.”
The screen scrolling down seemed endless. Dread slowly rose inside me until it stretched into a full panic. Fire and smoke covered the entire screen. I couldn’t see through it, but I knew whom he meant by the rebel group.
Let me be wrong. Please.
“There are no survivors,” the voice said over the loudspeakers. “I repeat, there are no survivors.”
“The rebel group was led by a traitor named Rhett,” Mr. Novak continued. “He and his group have now been terminated.”
His smug grin made me want to vomit.
“Did you hear that, Ava? This is all because of you.”
Shock slammed into me. Heat flooded through my body like a blazing wildfire, and then I went numb, falling ... falling to an endless abyss with no end to stop me. As my heart thudded, my mind disconnected from my body. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t move. Mr. Novak spoke away, but it all jumbled up into foreign sounds, and the clapping of hands muted around me.
Rhett, Ozzie, Reyna, and others who’d been nice to me, were dead. I had just been with them.
Oh God. Please don’t let it be true.
The room spun and their faces flashed before me. Rhett’s pleasant voice resonated in my mind and his smile haunted me. The comfort and warmth from his arms stayed with me, even the taste of his last kiss.
If I’d had any doubt about how I felt about Rhett and his group, Mr. Novak had forced me to resolve my confusion. I had fought it, didn’t want to believe it, but they gave me a sense of belonging I’d yearned for.
You don’t forget emotions.
Countless ways to bring ISAN down swarm in my head. I swore I would take my revenge. I might be their greatest weapon, but I would become their biggest mistake.