Mr. Novak is a monster. I wanted him dead.
I pinched myself to stop the tears from wetting my cheeks. I would not let Mr. Novak know I had cared for the so-called rebels. How could they be called rebels when they hadn’t had a chance? They’d never fought back. They hadn’t retaliated. They’d hurt no one in ISAN after their escape.
They’d only kidnapped me because Rhett loved me. He’d needed me to know. Getting a grip, I bit my lip and focused on the pain. I needed to be strong and give him a fake smile. Right then, I needed to get through it.
As the platform lowered to the ground, my peers gawked at me as if I were some kind of a hero. It made me sick to my stomach. My name was attached to a murderous act. I wanted to tell everyone they were being played, but that would do no good for any of us.
When I was dismissed, I peered up to see Russ. His expression gave me no inkling of how he felt. Mitch and Lydia didn’t seem to care either. Maybe Russ had been aware of ISAN’s plan of attack. It didn’t matter. Rhett and his group were gone, and my heart lay in pieces. Finding my dad and my twin didn’t seem to matter anymore. I didn’t want to know if they were dead. I couldn’t handle more pain.
During the times when I was afraid and alone, like the time when my mother passed away, I needed something to believe in, something to keep me going. Russ had given me that. He had given me purpose.
Then Rhett had entered my life with a new hope. But when hope was gone, what did I have left?
I entered the mental mission full of rage. My actions proved impetuousness. For five days, I had shut down. I refused to cry. I refused to feel. I refused to be weak. No one could know how I felt about Rhett’s group being murdered—no one.
Brooke, Tamara, and Justine were the only people I smiled at briefly. They needed to believe everything was fine.
I ignored Brooke and shot a glance at Payton to see what he would say. His warm amber eyes and even the style of his chestnut hair reminded me of Rhett. It was hard to be near him.
Payton had scored the fastest during the mental mission testing compared to the other guys, and for that reason he had been placed on my team. Knowing what I knew, I was astounded by how the group of guys tolerated Helix. It only meant one thing; my dad had perfected the serum.
Payton showed no sign of the out-of-control aggression Rhett had described, but I wondered if he would later, or when given a stronger dose.
“She wants to take them down,” Payton answered for me.
I turned away from him when his lips curled into a smirk. His expression reminded me of Rhett.
“Are you crazy?” Justine’s tone matched the rage in her eyes. “We don’t have time. Where’s the exit, Ava?”
Tamara gave me a concerned glance. “She’s not going to tell us. We can’t get out of here on time if we don’t know where the exit is. This building is bigger than the ones we’ve done before.”
“We have plenty of time,” I said coolly.
“What happened to the cautious Ava?” Tamara rubbed her arms, her nervous habit.
“You’re our leader.” Justine raised her voice. “You’re supposed to get us out of here. What the hell is wrong with you lately? You’ve changed ever since you became the hero. You having an ego trip or something?” She threw her hands about and tangled her fingers on my shirt. “It’s like you don’t give a crap. You take unnecessary risks.” Her heated breath brushed against my face.
I wanted to tell her I didn’t care. Sooner or later, we were all going to die anyway. If not in the upcoming assignment, then possibly the next one. I also wanted to introduce her lips to my fist, but I contained myself. But then again, what the hell?
“Shut the hell up.” Out of leadership character, I gave Justine what she deserved and socked her face. Damn that felt so good.
Justine’s face whipped sideways, blood spewing from her cut lip. She lunged for me, but Payton blocked her way. She hissed, throwing all kinds of curse words at me.
“It’s too late.” Brooke tapped her feet anxiously. “They’re right around the corner.”
I had no fear. My heart didn’t pump with the same kind of adrenaline it had before. Anger, sadness, and hate had replaced it. I wanted to hurt those imaginary threats, to release the pain in my heart.
“They’re here,” Payton announced.
One aimed a gun at me. I kicked it out of his hand and punched his stomach. Then I threw a blow to his face with my other fist.
I dropped to my knee when a sword swooshed, missing my head. Then I swiped my leg across to knock him down. I took the dagger out of my boot and sliced his throat. When I had the chance to evaluate the situation, I realized all ten opponents were down.
“Good job team. Let’s go,” I said.
More men charged forward and time was running out. I dashed, my team behind me, but I had to stop. A group of men blocked the exit door, and we had no choice but to scatter when bullets came at us.
“How much time do we have left?” Brooke asked. Panic struck in her eyes.
“Eight minutes, Brooke,” Payton said. “We have to do something.”
“Then let’s do something about it.” I pulled out my Taser from the back of my waistband. “On the count of three, shoot your way to the door. I’m going first. One ... two ...”
I jumped out with my Taser pointed, shooting like a mad woman, the way Rhett had when we’d been attacked by the ISAN guards. My aim was impeccable. Half of them fell before my group joined me.
Justine reached for the door, but before she could open it, I hauled her away.
“What the hell, Ava. First you punch me and now you’re trying to get all the glory?”
“One more stupid comment from you, I’ll shoot you myself and leave you behind.”
Justine paled, her eyes wide.
“Shut up, Justine.” Brooke pushed her away. “Don’t you remember what happened last time?”
“I’ll open it.” Payton twisted the knob.
I should’ve been a good leader and told him to stop, but I didn’t care. I stood with my Tasers pointing at the door, anticipating. Payton swung it open. The room appeared empty. Everybody rushed through except for me.
I paused. A figure appeared and my jaw dropped.
Didn’t they see him?
“Rhett?” His name escaped out of me in a quivering breath, and the endless twisting of a dagger in my heart pierced deeper.
Please. Make the pain stop.
Rhett pointing a gun at me brought me back to reality, confirming my mind was screwed up. Rhett was dead. How could he be there? I didn’t want to die and fail the team, so I pointed my Taser at him, but I couldn’t pull the trigger.
The image faded and flickered. A hologram. When Rhett transformed to Mr. Novak, I didn’t hesitate. With a satisfied smile, I shot him. My Taser had transformed into a gun. Mr. Novak collapsed and bled from his chest, and then he changed to Rhett again.
My hands shook. My muscles froze me in place. Mr. Novak’s words reverberated in my mind like a broken record. It is all because of you.
He’d let me know it was my fault. A warning. Everyone I cared about would die if I didn’t cooperate.
Hands gripped my arms, tugging me away. It seemed I’d made it out in the nick of time. I flashed my eyes open and heaved for air. Mr. Novak standing before me produced a wave of icy chills.
Stand your ground, Ava. Don’t let him intimidate you. But...
I became instantly paralyzed as I met his gaze. In those cold serpent’s eyes and his stark features, there were no evidence of kindness. He wore a perfect mask of a reaper.
Had he been over me during the entire mental mission? Had he seen how easily I could shoot him? My team was wide-eyed, shocked to see him too—except for Payton.
“Great job.” Mr. Novak applauded. “I’m glad to see how well Payton is working out with your group. I’ll be sending your team out very soon, as soon as I get Ava under control.”
There was something hidden behind his visa
ge of cheerfulness.
When Mr. Novak leaned into my face, I wished I could sink in my seat to disappear.
“Ava has guilt issues for causing the deaths of all those people. She shouldn’t feel bad for being the hero. Perhaps she should be reminded that death is certain.”
His words slithered out of him like poisonous venom, so deadly. A warning. I had the strong urge to punch him, or coil his tie around his neck and choke the life out of him. I could probably blame it on Helix. I laughed at that thought, but his words were no laughing matter.
Mr. Novak bent even lower and whispered, “I’m not your enemy, Ava. Be careful who you shoot next time. Let me remind you, shooting an ISAN guard is punishable by death.”
You are my enemy and I’m going to kill you if it’s the last thing I do.
Wait. What? Punishable by death?
Then his words hit me. Oh, God. He knew. He knew I’d shot ISAN guards in Abandoned City. Why hadn’t he said anything about it until now?
The answer—he was going to use it against me one day.
Mr. Novak straightened his spine and moved away from me. His gait was effortless and poised, leaving me immobile and flustered. After exchanging a few words with Russ, he dusted something off his suit, and left.
Russ stepped to the center to give us a clear view of him. “Great job, everyone. I’ll see you tomorrow, but Mitch will see you in one hour.”
Just before he entered his office, he gave me a sympathetic smile.
I was surprised he’d even acknowledged me. I had been giving him the cold shoulder lately.
Then something burst inside me.
I tore out of there before anyone could stop me. Heartache won, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I also knew my team would want to ask me why I’d just stood there and why I needed Brooke and Payton’s help to get me out, and I was not in the mood to answer questions. Why was I the only one who had seen Rhett and Mr. Novak?
Storming into my room, I curled on my bed and let my emotions run free. As tears dampened my face, I wrapped my arms around my legs. For five days I had tried to forget what had happened to Rhett and his friends, tried to keep my tears locked up and remain strong.
Damn Rhett. Why did he open my eyes? I hadn’t been happy, but I had been fine. I hated being in ISAN now. I had lost a part of me and my heart was crushed beyond repair.
How do I keep moving on?
I wished the floor would open up and let me sink into an abyss of darkness. I wanted to drown myself in sorrow and let the emptiness take over so I could feel nothing. No matter what I tried to tell myself, I thought of nothing but Rhett.
He’d proved his point. You could forget a memory, but you couldn’t forget the emotions. Why was it when you lost someone, you finally realized what you’d had?
I hardly knew anything about Rhett, only what little information he’d shared, and what I’d seen him do. During the time I’d spent with him, he’d shown me he had a good heart. He’d provided me with a sense of security I’d only felt with Russ, but I realized it was an entirely different thing. Rhett had given me so much more.
He’d filled a void I had for so long, and I missed his love. Though I wished I could deny his declaration, I felt it. His actions proved more ways than I could count.
If he’d stood before me, I would thank him for showing me what real love felt like. For so long, maybe since my mom died, I had lived without love or true happiness. I was afraid to open up, but Rhett had broken down my walls. He’d slowly crawled inside my heart and latched on without me knowing.
I didn’t know how I knew, but I’d felt that degree of pain before—because grief like that could never be forgotten—so raw, ripping through my heart. Then images flashed in my mind. Rhett jumping inside a trash chute and I stood among the gray hall with guards pointing their guns at me.
One sacrifice equaled victory.
Was I going mad? No. An old forgotten memory. What happened to my memories? Then I recalled Rhett’s theory and what Russ had whispered in my ear.
Look within yourself.
Indignation blazed in me at those thoughts. It gave me strength, and at the same time, I couldn’t think straight. I pounded the wall because there was nothing to hurl across the room. Blood trickled down my knuckles, but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel physical pain to release the agony in my heart.
This damn room. My jail. My hell.
I stopped punching the wall when my TAB slid out. I had accidently hit the button and the TAB automatically turned on. When I released a heavy sigh, my heart steadied to a calmer beat.
I had lost all interest in what was happening with celebrities and fashion. There were more important matters at hand. After I wiped my tears, I reached over to shut it down when something appeared in the corner. I dragged a heavy breath, ready to power it off regardless of who it was.
I froze. Icy chills coursed through me hard and fast.
My breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t blink for fear the words would disappear.
Please don’t let it be a mistake.
Three words flashed on the screen, but they felt like a page to me, filled with depth and meaning. No matter how many times I read them, I couldn’t get enough. I couldn’t stop staring. As blissful tears blinded my vision, a glimmer of hope sparked within me.
Ever so slowly, I ran my finger over the words, as if I could actually touch the only person who could have sent them.
To my agent with a giant heart, Italia Gandolfo, who never gave up on ISAN. To the superwoman, Liana Gardner, for just about everything. To Holly Atkinson, Jonas Saul, and Jessica Nelson for your guidance.
To my parents, Roy and Maggie, Joshua—my son, Kaitlin—my daughter, Amber Garcia—PA, Mary’s angels, and my friends. Thank you for believing in me and for all your support.
To my husband, Richard, my everything. Thank you for encouraging me to reach for the stars and keeping me grounded.
To my bestie, Alexandrea Weis, we’ve come a long way. We’ve crawled through mud and though we are still crawling, look how far we’ve come. Writing world would not be the same without you.
Thank you to my friends New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors, Addison Moore and Tiffany King, for being awesome and supportive. And to Ednah Walters, who is no longer with us; I know she is rooting for me in Heaven.
To my grandmother, the reason why I started writing. I feel your love, flowing out of my fingertips through every new book and the amazing people I keep meeting through the love of books.
Lastly, to my readers, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking this incredible journey with me.
Mary is an international bestselling, award-winning author. She writes soulful, spellbinding stories that excite the imagination and captivate readers around the world. Her books span a wide range of genres, and her storytelling talents have earned a devoted legion of fans, as well as garnered critical praise.
Becoming an author happened by chance. It was a way to grieve the death of her beloved grandmother, and inspired by a dream she had in high school. After realizing she wanted to become a full-time author, Mary retired from teaching after twenty years. She also had the privileged of touring with the Magic Johnson Foundation to promote literacy and her children’s chapter book: No Bullies Allowed.
Mary resides in Southern California with her husband, two children, and two little dogs, Mochi and Mocha. She enjoys oil painting and making jewelry. Being a huge Twilight fan, Mary was inspired to make book-themed jewelry and occasionally gives it away as prizes to her fans.
www.isan.agency
www.tangledtalesofting.com
Mary Ting, ISAN--International Sensory Assassin Network
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