Chapter Twelve
One nearly sleepless night. Kathy tossed and turned with all kinds of thoughts going through her mind. Why was he with that young woman? What was the relationship? Why would he possibly say he wanted to marry her when he was with that young woman? What was the business that could not be discussed, yet? There was really no need of him ever even coming to meet Kathy if his intentions were not of the best. No reason at all. She hadn’t searched him out.
Finally, after dawn, Kathy went to the coffee shop for a light breakfast she couldn’t finish. After dawdling for over an hour, she finally left the restaurant and started back to her room to prepare her art things for the outing that Charles had promised. She promised herself that she would eat something more substantial for her lunch with him.
Just as she had reached the half way mark, she was startled to see Charles in his silver car coming up the road toward the rooms. Again? He was supposed to be sleeping in this morning. Wanting desperately to know what was going on, yet afraid forcing the issue could ruin things, she ducked behind the rock post as he drove by her. He hadn't even noticed her before she had ducked behind the pillar. Nor, evidently, did he see the battered old van that had come in just behind him. It stopped at the base of the hill, but the occupant or occupants did not get out. Could it be that this vehicle had followed him and why? Surely, he would have noticed if that were the case. After a few moments, the van turned around and left the parking lot. Whoever was in that vehicle had to be following him. Kathy knew that they would have to face the situation before the end of her vacation, but it would have to be on his time. Naturally curious, she wasn't sure she could hold out that long, but she would try. As soon as the car and the van were safely out of sight, she hurried to her room to wait for his call.
As she had expected, the phone started ringing just as she opened the door. The conversation was quick. Perhaps he had only run out to pick up something he needed. But then why was he followed? He said he would pick her up within thirty minutes so they could take off to paint after breakfast instead of waiting for lunch. Katherine decided not to tell him that she had already eaten something although very little and that she didn‘t feel like eating, but she decided she would go along with a very light breakfast or just coffee. There went the diet again.
An hour later, they were on the freeway, in her car, since it was already packed with what equipment and supplies she would need, headed toward what he called a spot between Pismo Beach and Shell Beach, Dinosaur Caves. It sounded interesting, although Kathy couldn't visualize what kind of place would be called Dinosaur caves.
"Nice car," he commented admiring the blue sports vehicle. "Was it his?"
"Yes, how did you know?"
"Lucky guess. Not your style really. I bet you drive a sensible one."
"Thanks. It is. Do I appear that dull?"
"No, Kathy, just sensible. This is the kind of car a man desires in his middle years."
"Like yours?"
"Yes, like mine. Women seem to have more sense. What are you going to do with this one?"
"Sell it as soon as I return."
"Probably a good idea. I'm sure you have a lot of memories with this car."
"No, not the kind you would think. There were times I hated this monster, but that's over. I'll just get rid of it and forget any bad memories associated with it."
"Why do you call it a monster?"
"I suppose it sounds childish or as if I was jealous, but I couldn't understand why he would spend so much time grooming this thing. You can't imagine how much time, money and trouble he went to with this blue monster."
Charles laughed. "Of course I can. That's a guy thing. I hope you don't mind me spending some time taking care of my car, that is, when we... well, if we get married. No, that's when we do. I want think positive about this."
Kathy didn't answer for a minute. The scenes she had witnessed yesterday when he had been with the young woman and today when he was supposed to have slept in late. Then there was the van that had followed him. Who and why would that have occurred? If only she had the courage to ask him now and get this off her mind. Too bad she had been raised in that generation where a man was never questioned instead of being like her daughter who would never allowed "such nonsense." "I haven't agreed yet and neither have you committed yourself. After all, we both seem to have secrets we are not yet ready to divulge." That was his clue to tell her what had been going on. Or her own to tell about their child.
"One more day, Kathy, that's all I ask. Just one more day and I promise you I will tell you anything you want to know. You can do the same. Can we agree to that?"
"Yes,” what else could she say, also a bit afraid he might not accept what she had to say?
"Good, then let's forget all that and have some fun today."
Within a short time, they came over a hill to see a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean as he directed her to turn off at Shell Beach Rd. Kathy couldn't wait to take one of the side streets that promised to take her right to the ocean. Each street appeared to be only three blocks long before stopping at the cliffs.
"Turn here," he suggested. "There is something I want you to see; perhaps something you would like to paint." Before he had a chance to tell her, she knew right away when she saw the small lighthouse in someone's yard. Beyond that in the next estate facing the ocean, sat a windmill.
Kathy took in both, her mind spinning as to how she could incorporate both of these into a painting. The high fences around both private properties would not allow her to sit and paint with the ocean as a background, but perhaps with a few photos, she could come up with something. It amazed her to see so many bountiful colorful gardens so close to the salt water. Somehow she had thought that the sea air would preclude the many flowers. Katherine followed his directions and in moments, they were parked in front of a quaint gazebo setting on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
"This is where I thought you could paint. You can get several views of the ocean and there is enough shade."
"You certainly know this area quite well."
"Yes," he replied, “My home as I told you is a bit south of here, but my work takes me to this area quite often."
As if to prove his answer, a policeman in a patrol car driving by waved at them.
"I see you know the right people too," she teased.
"In my business, it pays to know the right people." Before she could get a chance to query more, he asked her again how she liked the area.
"Perfect," Kathy was elated that a policeman had been so friendly. That eliminated the thought that he might be a gangster. Although she wanted to ask more, she sensed that it would put a damper on their plans for the day. It was business, she told herself. It was. Later she would ask, not now. "Feel that breeze. Let me check the area to see where I want to set up the easel. "
"Do you think it would be best under the gazebo or perhaps out in the sunshine?" he asked as he assisted her out of the car.
"I'm not sure." Kathy walked over toward one of the benches that were facing the long pier at Pismo Beach. "This is a perfect view. Look at those rock formations and the way the sunlight plays on the cliffs. Look here," she pointed down to a plaque behind the bench. "It says, " Jocelyn Domela, She made the planet greener and more beautiful with her ideas." How extraordinary. I wonder what kind of woman that would be who would be so admired by another, perhaps many more. What do you think she could have done to make the planet more beautiful? That's how I would like to be remembered, as one who made a difference."
"I think you will always make a difference in my life."
"Thank you, Charles; you are very important in my life as well. Perhaps I had best get on this painting before... “She pointed to the view from the bench.” Oh, that is the exact type of painting I would like to do. Please help me set up the easel and I'll get the paints." It was fun working together as if they were a confirmed couple. For some reason, she felt as if they were closer t
han when his arms were about her. As soon as all was prepared, she started immediately putting on a thin layer of something she called "Magic White" on the 18 x 24 stretched canvas using a rather large 2 1/2 inch brush.
Charles was sitting comfortably on a bench watching her with pride. "I could be wrong, but are you getting ready to paint a house with that brush?"
Kathy laughed. "I know it looks like it, but this style of painting using these brushes makes the painting go quite fast. It doesn't give me time to make errors. Why use tiny brushes when a large one will do the job just as well and in this case, better? She proceeded to add a touch of the blue to the brush still wet with the white and place odd shapes like criss crosses on the top of the canvas as well as large brush strokes back and forth across the bottom of the canvas. Picking up a dry clean brush of the same size, she blended the blue at the top until is resembled an interesting sky. Using a brush that appeared to be like an old fashioned shaving brush, she picked up white and a touch of reddish alizarin crimson, Kathy quickly whipped in floating clouds. Mixing varied colors, she used a small palette knife to place several cliff edges as well as a few rocks in the water area. Charles was amazed at her accomplishing so much in such a short time.
"What is that?" he inquired as she added a small amount of something from a small jar to the white on the palette.
"This is a special wax I use to add a glistening quality to the ocean foam and foam patterns." She continued using a fan brush to bring life to the ocean placing splashes of foam on the waves as well as on the cliff edges. To his untrained eye, it was complete until she added the eye of a wave into the water. "I have to be careful here. The eye of a wave can only be seen when the light source is at a certain low level, so I have to maintain that light source. Detail is so important. A thousand people who see this might not know that, but a true artist or naturalist would, so I strive for some measure of perfection."
Charles was still more astonished, if possible. "Kathy, how long have you been painting like this?"
"Not too long really. I didn't have that much time to spare, but this method allows for quick accomplishments. Frank thought I was wasting my time trying to be an artist. I tried to convince him that although I would never make a lot of money at this, it does give me a great deal of pleasure."
"Speaking of your husband, what was your life like with him, if you don't mind talking about it now?"
Signing her name to the completed painting, Kathy sat down next to him on the park bench. Facing the ocean, rather than at him, she began telling her former lover about the man with whom she had spent the last twenty years of her life. “Frank was a good man at heart and we were very good friends most of the time. After that disastrous teen marriage and then losing you, all I wanted was a good home. I felt I needed him at that time and I guess you would say agreed to marry. He was more in need of a home life and companion than a woman to love. Oh, he did care for me, but he was more involved with his work. I guess some would call him a workaholic and somewhat of a perfectionist too. When possible, he was a good father to our daughters, but often gave them more of material things than affection and time. That was left up to me and while it wasn't ideal, it was acceptable."
The sun was starting to set, a spectacular sight from their vantage point. It was if nature was putting on a show, especially for them. Kathy desperately wanted to preserve the scene with her camera for a later painting, but hesitated, not wanting to spoil the moment with Charles. Although the sky itself was a soft shade of blue, the sun was a golden orb on the horizon. Soft white fluffy clouds were picking up rays of pinks, orange and gold adding more color as they came closer to the sun. Why was it, Kathy thought, that everything was so much more enjoyable when shared with someone special? No sunset had ever been more pleasurable than now.
They watched in silence, Charles only movement was to pick up her hand and place it gently in his large, strong hand. There were others about also just gazing at the sunset, some whispering as if hesitating to disturb the sight.
It was quickly becoming cooler and Charles offered to get Kathy's sweater from the car while she gathered up her art supplies. "No, I kind of enjoy the cool air, at least for now." After placing most of the supplies in the car, Kathy suggested that they just continue sitting there and finishing the conversation they had begun. "Let's sit for a minute and then I'll break down the easel. We can put the wet canvas on the back seat on some newspaper. It will protect the seat." She hoped it would give him the opportunity to finally tell her of his business, something he was still evading.
"Kathy, was it very difficult for you when he ...” Charles paused, not wanting to use a word that would cause her pain.
"He passed away, she continued for him.”It wasn't easy. I don't believe any death is an easy thing to accept. Someone is there; then they're gone never to be seen on earth again. One day, I had a friend, someone to talk to, someone upon whom I had learned to depend. The next day, he was suddenly gone, a heart attack. As they say, at least he didn't suffer. But, although he left me reasonably provided for, I was suddenly alone. Beth and Jesey were and still are living their own lives. Not that they wouldn't help in any way they could, but all the decisions were mine alone. If I had been younger or older, I think it would have been easier. I'm not sure. But, I felt too old to think of meeting someone as I might have had I still been in my thirties or less. Much older and I would have been expecting to spend my last years alone. It just seemed as if I had too much time to be all by myself, days and nights of loneliness with no hope of finding a companion. It's kind of hard to explain. The art is a comfort, a joy, but not enough for all the time. I wish there were a word that goes beyond just lonely."
"Kathy, that was before. I'm here now." Charles put his arms about her. Now was not the time to tell her of his life as it had been for the past several years. She had endured much more than he had thought. Then he should be more certain of her health before he caused her any upset. There had only been that one heart problem, but one was a start and it would only take one major agitation to provoke that condition. Perhaps he would have to make drastic changes, but he couldn't let her go, not the way she felt in his arms at that moment. It would be one of the most difficult things he would have to go through, but not only was she worth it, but he felt he owed it to her.
After he had completed things, he would inform those who needed to know and make the necessary arrangements. Then he would tell her before they were to return to her home and he would meet with her daughters. That would be the right time, not now, not at this perfect moment.