Chapter Seven
The music from “Phantom of the Opera” was playing softly on the tape in the car on the drive back to the hotel. Almost at a loss for what to say, Katherine tried to make idle conversation. “Have you seen that play?”
“No,” he kept his eyes on the road. “I had always planned on it. In fact, there were many things I had planned to do, but kept putting off. Never took the time. It’s supposed to be pretty spectacular. Have you?”
“No, but I had intended to go to San Francisco after I leave here and see it before I return home.” Her voice was cool, crisp as if she were talking to a stranger.
“Would you care to go and see it with me?”
“That would be nice.”
“Great!” Charles sounded somewhat annoyed. He said no more as he took the Madonna Road off ramp. Katherine wasn’t sure what was wrong. She looked at his face trying to determine what had caused his upset. Surely the brief discussion about the play had been no reason to show such emotion. As soon as they had parked just outside her room, he turned to her.
“Katherine, I know we had agreed to take it slowly, but let’s not act like perfect strangers. Your voice is so impersonal; you could have been talking to someone you’d never met before. We were lovers, my princess, real honest passionate lovers. It may have been years ago, but it happened and it meant so much to me. I promise, I give you my word that your virtue is safe, at least for now. I want to get to know you, as you are now, court you and perhaps in the future, resume where we left off. I don’t know if we are in love, will be in love, or how we will feel, but please, give us a chance. Don’t be so formal, and don’t feel as if you must hug that car door every time we go out. You can sit closer to me without fear.”
“Is that all? I couldn’t even imagine why you had gotten so upset. I am sorry if I seemed so formal. Well, no, I’m not sorry. Silly habit we have of apologizing so readily even when we don’t mean it. It has been a long time and I am not sure how I feel right now. I know it’s an old cliché, but this is so sudden. I will try to relax, but you will have to be patient with me. There has been twenty years or so. We were once lovers, impetuous, foolish, young and we ignored those we hurt. While I didn’t care that much about the man to whom I was married at the time, I did owe him an obligation. I should have respected my marriage vows. We both owed your wife more respect than what we did. There were vows we took and broke without regard to anyone else with all our poor excuses. My husband was abusive and a drunk, so I thought it was fine to be with you. Your wife was not as attentive as you thought she should be, so that was our excuse there. They were our choices at one time and we did make vows to both of them. They deserved better. I established a new life. You are at this time, a very fond memory. I don’t know you as the man you are today. You don’t know me. We need a lot more time to get to know each other.”
“Of course. I was just afraid you wouldn’t give us a chance.”
“I will. But, you have to understand; we are like strangers to each other. I’m going to be very careful I don’t let old, almost forgotten emotions take over. You will have to be patient and if I decide this is not working, I don’t want to worry about you making it difficult for me. I promise to give us a chance. Now, my handsome escort,” her attitude changed. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”
Charles smiled that very special smile that had remained in her memories for so long. She felt her heart flutter recalling that grin, along with the butterflies that flittered about in her stomach with thoughts of getting involved. “There was a late breakfast, so missing lunch doesn’t matter, but I would think a nice dinner would be on the schedule. I tell you what; let’s have room service in my room or yours. We have so much to discuss and I don’t want anyone around, just us two. Now, don’t give me that look. You will be perfectly safe.”
“Charles, I wasn’t giving you that ‘look’ as you say. I agree, we will be more comfortable alone and I do trust you to a point and I also trust my instincts. There is so much to say and we do need some privacy that the dining room won’t afford us. Let me freshen up and you can come for me to dine in your room at about…?”
“Six. Shall I order for you or do you want to wait or would you like to call in what you would prefer?”
“Yes, you order. Do you recall my preferences? After all these years? No matter, whatever you order will be fine. My room number is….”
“I know. And yes, I do recall. I remember every special minute, every hour with you in and out of my arms. I have never even had a cup of hot chocolate without recalling how we used to share one on those chilly damp mornings.” Those blue eyes had a faraway look. “Pick you up then?”
Was there anything about her that he did not know, except….? Kathy wondered as she closed the door to her “Romance Room.” Good thing she hadn’t chosen this one in which to have dinner. How long would their good intentions last with all this about? Hopefully, his room was less opulent, more on the masculine side.
Kathy lingered in the shower, trying a few different soaps until she felt that one had the right scent. That was one of her few luxuries of using different scented soaps. Standing in front of the full- length bathroom mirror, she took careful stock of her mature form. Those stretch marks from her child had never fully gone away. The scar from the surgery only looked worse. As she had matured, so she had lost that youthful firmness in her breasts and no matter how much she had exercised, she was still far more round than she would have preferred. As the years had gone by, she hadn’t minded that much that Frank had no interest in any of the physical side of marriage. Busy with her children, her home and all that was otherwise required of her, Kathy had adjusted to his lack of attention. But now, there was the possibility that she might again be under a man’s discriminating eye. Would he want this body or would he cringe at the flaws? Perhaps, Charles too had some secrets or perhaps they would now have nothing in common. That time was a time of youthful passion. This was now. He did accept her suggestion to wait a little too quickly.
Stop, Kathy, she told herself turning away from that hateful mirror that only told her the truth, not what she wanted to see, almost as bad as the large golden mirror from Snow White. Get dressed, get attractive as you can and enjoy the evening. Remember, this may not work for one or either of them. Memories are great, but reality will win, no matter what the reality may be. Now what to wear? Katherine wished she had brought more attractive clothes, but she had not planned on being with anyone. Maybe she would have to do some shopping to get some more appropriate clothes. The jersey dress of last night was nice, but he probably had seen that when she was in the dining room. The black suit; no, that would be too austere. She held up the purple caftan trimmed in gold sequins about the collar and wrists. No, that too was thrown down as being too formal.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked her reflection. “You’re acting like a school girl on her first date. It’s a good thing you didn’t bring too many clothes or all of them would be scattered about this room.” Simple, casual, colorful, that was what was needed. Kathy brought out her new forest green jacket and slacks along with a bright peacock print blouse. Perfect, she hoped. Glancing at the clock she realized she had only ten minutes to complete her dress. Barely enough time for a hint of makeup and a spray of “White Diamonds,” another one of her few extravagances.
Exactly six o’clock came a knock on the door.
“Boy, have you changed your ways. I never knew you to be so on time,” she exclaimed opening the door. Dressed in gray slacks, blue jacket and light gray shirt was the man of her dreams, so casual, so perfect. Had he been like that before as a younger man or had she been blinded by love? Kathy only hoped she matched up to his expectations, as she wondered what his expectations might be.
“Come on,” he held out his hand. “We have a very short way to go to my room. It’s just up this flight of stairs and at the left end of the building, room 160. Actually, it’s two doors down and up
a few steps from the room you had the first two nights you were here. That was torture for me. Wait till you see the view from the balconies.”
In moments, they were at the door and he ushered her inside. It was so much bigger than she had anticipated for a hotel room. It had been one of the rooms she had considered, but had decided that it was too large a room for even two persons to occupy and a bit too expensive for their budget. The “Austrian Room” was seventy-six feet in length, and had beamed ceilings sloping up toward the roof. Blue and white wallpaper covered the rounded walls while a vibrant blue rug went from wall to wall. There was a definite division between the opulent spacious living room and the luxurious bedroom. An off white couch was sided by white marble topped end tables with a marble topped coffee table. Between two high backed white chairs, at the other part of the living room was another marble topped lamp table. The exquisite golden mirror was well balanced by the golden chandelier. Kathy felt as if she should be wearing a ball gown to dine in this room.
Charles continued to lead her through the elegant room toward the balcony that provided a great view of the quaint town of San Luis Obispo. “The weather is perfect to dine out here, don’t you agree?”
“Yes, what did you order?”
“It should be here in a few minutes. I hope your tastes haven’t changed. I thought we could share a shrimp cocktail, share a spinach salad; they are so large and I thought you would like a filet mignon while I ordered the prime rib. That way we can enjoy a taste of everything and still have enough room for the dinner portion. Of course, if you want something else or you could have the prime rib or…” the perfect man stuttered.
Kathy laughed softly. Nothing could have made the moment more relaxing than for him to be nervous. She wasn’t alone in her assessment of the situation. “No, no, Charles, I couldn’t think of anything I would like better. I always did like our crazy way of ordering so we could enjoy different things. I haven’t had a spinach salad for,..for years. Strange, isn’t it that we, at least, I only order things out of habit, not what I really might want.”
“I guess I do the same thing. My business keeps me on the road so much that I usually just order something substantial without concerning myself about enjoying a meal.”
“Speaking of business, what line of work are you in right now?”
Kathy’s query was interrupted by a knock on the door. He left her side to allow the waiter to bring in the cart with their dinner.
“Let’s enjoy this first. What would you like?”
“I’d like to have my half of the shrimp cocktail and a little less than half of the salad. Your suggestion of steak is fine with me or we can halve both meats and share them too, but I would like smaller portions, if you please.”
As they began their meal, Katherine again asked about his business.
“Never mind that right now. Tell me first about your family, your daughter. I was so happy for you when I heard you had at least one child. Is it just the one or are you blessed with many more?”
There it was; the question Kathy knew would come. How much did he really know? They had once promised honesty always. Katherine decided she would have to tell him the truth, but not immediately. My Beth, Elizabeth, is close to graduating from journalism school and doing quite well and Jessica is also doing quite well.”
“Two daughters. That’s wonderful. So, you’re not a grandmother as yet. I told you, I have two grandsons. Charles Jr. is doing very well now although there were the times I thought I would never see this day.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I hadn’t planned on discussing this so early in getting to know you again, but, well….my son got involved with drugs when he was sixteen. There’s no point in going into detail. I am sure you have heard enough about what families go through when that happens.
“Yes, personally, I haven’t had to go through that, but my friends…A number of them have had that problem. It was horrible. I can understand why you may not be prepared to discuss it right now. Maybe later?”
“Of course, and it is in the past. I’m glad you haven’t had to endure that with your daughters. What are they like? I hope they look like you.”
“Oh, both girls are very attractive, Beth is dark haired and look a great deal like her father. Very little of me in her. Jesey is just the opposite, very blonde and tall.”
“That’s too bad. I mean, it would have been great if one of them looked like you, but great that at least one of them looks like her father. What are the girls like? Do you have photos of them?”
“Of course, never leave home without them. They’re in my room and I’ll be glad to show them to you later. What about photos of your son and his family?” Changing the subject, how would she show him the pictures of her daughter, Beth, after telling him she looked like the father? Could she possibly tell him about their daughter? Just blurt it out? By the way, she is your daughter. No, not yet. She would have to be very careful. The right time would come. Or not. It would come in time one way or another.
“Naturally, I have tons of photos. I didn’t want to bore you the first evening here. I’ll get them out right after dinner.”
The sun was setting as they completed their meal. They should have been naturally hungry after the full day, but though the meal was delectable, they both had trouble finishing it. There were so many things unsaid, things that could affect the rest of their lives. It was obvious that he had planned to come with the full intention of continuing some relationship with her. He did know so much about her, while she knew nothing about his past years. There was no escaping the fact that at some time she would have to tell him about their child. How would he take that? Well, there was no sense in going on until she was certain that the relationship would continue.
The chilling fog was rolling in from the ocean and Charles took her willing hand to lead her to the plush couch in the living room. “Let’s have our coffee in here. It’s getting too brisk out there for you. You know you have to watch your health.”
“Now, what makes you say that?”
“I told you I have kept tabs on you for some time. Didn’t you think I would know about that heart attack you had three years ago? That was one time I almost forgot you had a husband, but I didn’t, though it tore me apart. I had no right to ruin your life. Every day you were in the hospital was a torture for me. I did call often, but most of the time, the nurses insisted that there would be no information given except to a family member. I even lied a few times in desperation. I was so relieved when they said you would be fine and were going home. Now, let’s get out of this night air.”
Kathy nodded in agreement. “It really wasn’t all that bad, more of a warning. I’ve been careful since then, take my pills, watch my diet and exercise almost as much as I should. No stress except for….but that’s past. All I have to do is take any situation; decide if it is worth my life and if it isn’t, I don’t allow it to be that stressful.”
“You make it sound so simple. Just re-organize your thinking. I was so worried when he,when he died. I wasn’t sure you could handle all that stress. But I was afraid if I showed up then, it would only be worse for you. So I waited until now.”
I really should tell him. Tell him right away and get it over? How? The thoughts raced through her mind. It wouldn’t be right. Suppose they didn’t get along as well as she hoped. She wasn’t even sure of her own emotions. Suppose that times had changed both of them enough that they wouldn’t be able to work things out. It wouldn’t be right to have him find out he was a father of a daughter and then lose her if things didn’t work out. No, no, she told herself. Wait. There’ll be time.
“Charles, I am so glad you did wait. It would have been too difficult back then. We had made so many plans for when he retired and his death came so sudden. It was a hard time for me and my daughters,” she added.
“Kathy, I hate to say it, but I think I had better take you back to your room now and we can exchange photos tomorrow, i
n the light of day.”
“But, oh, I understand.” She smiled realizing he was having some difficulty controlling his emotions. So, she still had “it”. “Fine, perhaps it is best.”
“Yes, my princess, before I forget that promise. Don’t smile so much. This is killing me, but I’m determined. I’ll be a gentleman no matter what. We will have plenty of time, tomorrow and more.”