Chapter Eight
In a few moments, they were standing in front of her door. Charles took the key from her hand and turned the lock opening the door allowing her to go on, alone.
“I understand why you wanted to cut the evening short and I am flattered,” she began, “but there is just a little bit more that we should discuss if we are to give ourselves a chance. Please come in for just five minutes and let’s get that out of the way. Please.”
“Not much I can do when you put it like that, but don’t blame me if I can’t keep our promise.” He laughed nervously. A still tense Charles looked about the room admiring the exquisite décor. “Odd, we have almost the same colors in our respective rooms, although I think yours if more suited to my simpler taste. I really wanted a room that would impress you when we finally did meet, so I chose the more opulent one and the biggest.”
“It was most impressive. I hope it wasn’t too expensive for you.”
“No, not at all. These days I can afford what I want.”
“Great. I am glad to hear that and speaking of what you can afford; I want you to know that no matter how curious I have been about your line of work, you don’t seem to be quite ready to tell me about it. That’s okay. Right now, we have barely met and I for one have hardly gotten adjusted to the idea that we are even here, together.”
“Neither have I.” His voice was almost a whisper. “I had planned for this so long and yet, I find it difficult to believe.”
“In regard to that, although you seem to know more about me than I do myself, there are things I am not ready to discuss. I feel there is no point going into our life details or possible things we are not ready to divulge. You are reluctant to discuss your work and I too have things, well, secrets. At least, I think they are secret.”
“I don’t know everything about you. I’m sure there are a few things I missed. And I agree with you about taking our time to discuss everything.” He stepped closer to her.
“Slow down.” She held up her hand. “I want to make this clear. It is possible that we have nothing more than memories of a youthful passion. There may not be any love between us. Why don’t we start slowly, get to know each other as we are now and not worry about any respective secrets until and unless the relationship progresses the way it might.”
Charles breathed a deep and obvious sigh of relief. “That takes a lot off my mind. I’m willing to wait, although I can’t imagine what hidden things you might have that I don’t already know. There are however, a few things about me that would be easier on me if we do wait, just a bit.”
Kathy laughed. “You may have all these resources at hand, but there are things….. But if our situation is correct for both of us, I will tell you. If not, then there is no need to know.”
“Agreed. Nice painting.” He gestured toward the mountain landscape hanging above the settee, ready to change the subject. “When are you going to start painting?”
It was as if he still knew her every thought, her every move.
“Now, how did you know about that?”
“That is plain obvious. No secret. Remember that we used to talk about your dream of painting some day. I knew you spent all your time being a good wife, mother and wouldn’t take time to pursue your art. Certainly, after seeing all this scenery, you must have gotten back that desire. I bet you have sketch pad in your car right now.”
“Right. How well you know me. There never was time to paint, not with my daughters and all the school activities. Recently, I decided that I would finally try, at least.” That was quick.
“Great. Now sweet princess, I am going to have to leave you before, well, before I can’t stand to leave you ever.”
“I understand.”
“How about I meet you for breakfast and then we’ll make plans for tomorrow? That is, unless you already had something planned for tomorrow. I just want to spend every safe minute with you.”
“Safe minute?”
Katherine, don’t tell me you don’t know what I mean. Twenty years, four months and six days and you expect me to forget those precious moments with you?”
“Is that the exact time we’ve been apart?”
“Yes it is. I’ve counted the days, haven’t you?”
“No, I thought you were lost to me forever. I tried to put you out of my mind. "Although," she thought of the previous days and the memories that had driven her wild, “it hasn’t been easy.” What would he think of her if she told him how he had invaded her life, her dreams and her desires?
“Kathy, my sweet princess, it has been miserable for me. I’ve had you on my mind day and night, hoping that the day when come when I could feel free to go to you. When she and I divorced, it was a relief to both our son and us. We knew we had struggled to long, but I felt the obligation to try to make a go of it. I even tried to forget you for a few brief minutes. It didn’t work.” He stood at the door as if wanting to stay while afraid of what might happen if he should.
Katherine smiled up at his obvious emotions. Who would it hurt at that moment if they just took up where they had left off? She was no longer capable of having a child and neither had spouses. Her heart and her body ached to pull him to her, comfort and love him as she had done so many years before. Feelings were welling up in her that she had long denied existed. For so many years, she had put off any natural drive that she had begun to feel as if she were no longer capable. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt if they became a little closer. Her body was beginning to feel as if she were twenty years younger. The once familiar burning sensation was starting to overcome her reluctant, well, not too hesitant body.
It was Charles that stopped her, though he didn’t realize it. “I am so glad we decided to wait until we are certain this time. There is so much to learn about each other before we commit ourselves. I don’t want to have a quick affair that is over when we part. If we get together this time, I want it to be forever. So my precious one, I had better go before I forget…. Well, forget, you know. I’ll be here at….what time would you like me to come here to get you for breakfast?” Charles knew how he felt about her. There was no doubt in his mind, but Kathy, could she possibly understand and accept him including the line of work her hesitated to discuss with her?
“Five too early?” she quipped laughing at his return expression. “Okay, how about seven?”
“Five is fine, but that won’t give you much sleep and I have planned a busy day. Seven is much better.”
“Do you honestly think I’ll sleep well tonight with you on my mind?” The words of praise came easily to her lips. She meant them.
“In one way, I want you to stay awake all night thinking of me. In another, it would be best if you get your sleep and prepare for tomorrow.”
“And what, sir, are your plans for me?”
“I’ll tell you then.”
“Charles,” she became serious, “just one quick question about your line of work. Is it dangerous?”
“It can be some times,” was that a slight quiver in his voice? “I promise we’ll talk about it soon, perhaps even before we get closer. It is important that you know what I have been doing the past years before you make any decisions. I don’t think it is what you expected of me and I am not sure it will meet with your approval. Goodnight, Kathy, I’ll be here at seven, sharp.” He quickly left afraid she might detain him with questions he wasn’t ready to answer.
Kathy looked after the quickly retreating figure. What could it possibly be about which he was so concerned? He wasn’t a gangster type and she was sure he wouldn’t be involved in any wrong- doing. His age eliminated many foolish and dangerous occupations. What if he was involved in something she could not accept? Would that be the end of their relationship? Frank’s work had not been considered risky, but he had died all the same. At this time in her life, at any time in her life, nothing was secure, safe. One could get killed in a plane, walking across the street, almost anywhere at any time. Still, it was something to consider.
It would be devastating to lose Charles again, especially after her recent loss of her husband. But she was reaching the time of her life when losses would become more and more the norm. Of that, she was painfully aware. The mental argument continued. “I forgot to show him photos of Beth and Jesey or was that deliberate?” was her last conscious thought. Sleep did not come easily, but finally her tired eyes closed to give her some measure of sleep. Morning couldn’t come too soon.