Without hesitation, I mouthed the words, ‘I love you.’
A beaming smile came over her innocent image. All at once around us, in the sweetest, most innocent voice, I heard those words from my Monroe. From my daughter.
Vade’s arms flexed, but he let his energy fall so we could hear it more clearly.
“We are going to prevail, Glory. We are holding the winning hand, and the other kings have no idea that we have even been dealt in. They will end each other with their own hand, karma in its simplest form. They planned to force us into destroying ourselves; now, they will in turn destroy themselves.”
Monroe stood from the field she was in and waved, and as she did I saw a ring, the symbol of eternity, facing me.
I sent my thoughts to her, and a wind circled the field of flowers, picking up every single purple petal and carrying it to her. The petals swarmed around her as the children with her danced and laughed. The springs faded at that moment.
I warily looked down. “You tried to tell me…I see that now. When I look back over all our time together, you tried to tell me everything. You spoke clearly and calmly, you held an immeasurable amount of patience in your soul, and like with the Creator I never heard you. My anger and wrath have caused me so much time, so much time that I will never recover.”
That ghost of a smile he loved to use was threatening his precious lips. “We appreciate it all the more now. If this life were given freely to us, we would not see each other or her the same way. Easy come, easy go. I wanted it to be hard as hell to get you to fall in love with me because I knew once you did, you would forever be mine.”
“Forever, Vade. Forever.”
His eyes fell to my lips just before his lips claimed them. I felt my soul pulsing, wanting to get closer to connect core to core, but I couldn’t do that right now. I had to ask for my life back.
Sensing my thoughts, Vade let his kiss end slowly.
The springs around us flickered again, and this time Silas’ image appeared. He was still lying in that field.
“I have advice if you want it,” Vade said to me.
“Always,” I whispered.
“This is going to be hard for him and Mazing. The time they had before they were viciously separated was too short, and the time apart has been too vast. I believe they can find devotion, but walking up to either of them and saying to love her or him instead is going to be more than they can handle, especially in the middle of this war.”
“Then we are at square one. He will still assault your line.”
“Not if you tell him how you feel about him. Not if you open his mind to his past.”
“I should ensure that Mazing and I have a life first,” I said with a fading hope that I would witness all that Vade had revealed to me.
“The procession of death is at dusk, so you have time to do this. I will gather your First and mine. When you get back, we will travel to the cathedral.”
“The other kings will see you go in there.”
“And they better tremble because when I return, you will be at my side.”
I grinned, but then my wrath took over. “I don’t think I can look either of those two kings in the eye without destroying them.”
“Wit. Half of this war will be won with wit.”
That was Vade’s way, why he was such a great king: he thought deeply and wisely before every move he made. I swear, he could see the cause and effect of every action for eons to come, and he had the patience to wait for the effect. I did not.
I kissed him once more before I said, “I’m going to wake him. I truly hope he is not in pain.”
“You have just given him billions of warriors. He will not have to endure that any longer.”
“Our Escorts can take in that energy?” They were still Escorts in my mind. “They did not perish, so they were not risen as Witnesses. Right?”
“We die many times within one life, shed old ways and find new ones. Our lines have the power to take anger and wrath out of every emotion and instill love in its place; our Fated have done as much already.”
“Because they loved.”
“Fiercely,” he said with a wink.
“Wish me luck.” And with that, I manifested into the field Silas was still sleeping in.
I hesitated and glanced back at the bench I sat on with the Cowboy, my Creator; the bench where I shed my armor of wrath.
“I’m sorry I was blind to your signs and deaf to your words. I feel it now. I feel and hear you, and I will swear to never forget that emotion, to hold the soul of Vade forevermore in my heart, if you in turn will protect our girl, our symbol of love. Please don’t let anyone hurt her; please protect her.”
The sky opened, and the sun beamed around me. I felt the promise. It was a promise that assured me in the end that no matter what we endured, we would be safe, that the lessons we learn from agony are the ones that not only make us stronger, but also the ones we never forget.
I nodded once and then began a slow, graceful walk to my dear Fated Silas.
Chapter Eighteen
Silas’ eyes were gently closed as his body lay on the soft grass. The marks of agony were still displayed on the clothes around him that were ripped to shreds.
A gentle nod from me dressed him once more, covering his chest and restoring his torn jeans.
I sat down next to him and let my fingertips slowly caress the locks of dark blond hair out of his closed eyes. His skin was so much darker than mine, making him seem that much stronger. My fingertips traced his eyes, his powerful jawline, my cool touch next to his balmy flesh.
“My dear Fated…I am so sorry, so sorry that you have been tortured so, that agony has paved your path…I adore you.” His closed eyes twitched ever so slightly. “I love you.”
All at once his eyes flew open, revealing the deep, rich, beaming color of honey.
“You what?” he asked, focusing on me.
I smirked. “I love my adored, Fated soul that was chosen for such a precious charge. I love that the Creator used me to bring your power forth, that He used me to create a deadly weapon.”
He pulled himself up, propping his body up on his elbows as he tilted his head slightly. “I must be dreaming, for my queen has but two choices: to imprison or smite me.” The sarcastic smirk that followed that statement made me smile and suppress a laugh.
“Your queen was blind, fooled by the king that took you from me not once, but twice.”
He didn’t seem to understand what I was saying, and I wasn’t sure how to explain it to him.
“I have loved the King of Anger from first sight, but a savage lore was spoken to me. I believed it, and therefore I hid behind an armor of wrath. That armor has vanished and my emotions have surfaced. My line, Vade’s, and any Escort that chooses to follow our path, can now say and feel what has been absent to us for far too long.”
“I guess that will make it easier to figure out which Escorts to kill,” he said with a sly grin.
“I suppose,” I said with a stagnant grief in my tone. I despised the kings that had fallen into a savage addiction, but I had a hard time despising those they had led to follow them. I was saddened that in The Realm right now, as well as in the corporeal world, there were Escorts that had been forsaken. I made myself vow that I would reach out to them, and if any of them wanted to be claimed by me I would accept them. With that thought, white doves soared above us.
“So where does this leave us?” Silas asked. “Your essence may be a part of me, but I was risen as a Witness and there are guidelines for such a role.”
“Now you can love as you serve both.”
“But if I continue to love Charlie, that still hurts the king you love.”
“If you strike them, it does.”
“Does Draven now have control?”
“I have no idea. Yet, you know the control was not the issue. You needed Charlie to love you.”
“Her heart is vast. She doesn’t have to be in love with me; just love me.”
“Would it not be fair to tell her that she is a means to an end? For her to understand why you need her so?”
“I think she knows.”
“I think not. You have played the guilt card with her.”
He glanced away in shame. “It was not fiction. We had a past. A rather long one.”
“Sometimes the length of the past doesn’t matter as much as the emotion felt in that time. I have witnessed shorter relationships that are vastly stronger.”
He sighed as he sat up further so that we were now face-to-face. “I tried to love her the way Draven loves her. I really did. But I have always been broken.”
“You and your Charlie girl fought hard together, but in the end souls made of one will find themselves, whether they have to become Witnesses, Escorts, Fated Escorts, or whatever title you want to give them. In the end, they are souls of one and they will find each other.”
His eyes squinted as he let out a breath, a sign of obvious pain.
“I meant it, Silas. I am very sorry that you have suffered so, even more sorry that the pain is not over.”
He nodded once as he glanced at the sky. “It is not as bad as it looks, and I would do it an infinite amount of times to guard those I was chosen to.”
A faint smile came to my lips as I glanced to my side and thought of my greatest discovery.
Silas tilted his head to try and catch my gaze. “I know I don’t know the King of Anger, but I can tell you that I see so much of Monroe in you.”
I quickly glanced back to his waiting honey eyes.
“What?” he said with a sly grin. “You didn’t think I knew she was yours? That I knew that you had to be capable of love because you created her?”
I let out a sigh. That was the lesson. When the Cowboy told me our children teach us, he wasn’t talking about Mazing or anyone else in my line; he was telling me to listen to Silas—listen to how he dared me to love from our very first conversation. “I didn’t. Not until this day.”
“I know,” he said under his breath. “When I first saw you, that is why I told you to leave then and I wouldn’t kill you. I could see her in your eyes; hers are darker most of the time, but when she was younger, or when she wakes from a deep meditation, they look like yours.”
That made me smile.
“And though I gave you hell about the mint scent—I didn’t mean it.”
“Her scent is like Vade’s?”
“No,” he said, trying to hold back a smile. “It is a scent like no other, honey and mint, but together it created an aroma that is pure bliss, warm. I’ve never been able to describe it—that is, until I sensed them both on you after my awakening.”
I looked away so I could hide the tears.
He reached for my arm. “I kept her safe, and I’m not going to stop now. I will give you this: knowing that her real mom and dad are watching out for her now will give me a reason to take the first deep breath that I have since she was given to me.”
“Did she ever believe that Donalt was her father?”
“I don’t think so…her mother didn’t either. She gave Monroe to me because she said my energy and scent were near the same. I didn’t get why she thought that, why this lover of a horrid king was handing me their infant Escort, but I knew it was my purpose, that every war before had been fought so I would be strong enough to keep her safe.”
I was reading his thoughts, taking in the images I could see there, wanting to know this child of mine all the more.
“She’s with Charlie,” I whispered.
He nodded once. “That is part of my issue. I know Monroe is a guiding light, and she led me right to her, right to my past—right into a war of hearts.”
“Listen to me. You have the misfortune of having the queen of wrath’s essence within you. This queen often does not see past the turmoil she is in. Even when a sign is carved out by the Creator Himself and handed to me, I still lack the power to read the words He left there.”
“Still?”
“We’ll see,” I sighed. “My point is that my daughter led you to where you are for a reason, and I truly do not believe that it was to find Charlie or to fight the soul she loves.”
“I’m sure you’re right. Monroe knows I’m broken, shattered on the inside. The only time my chest doesn’t ache is when she is near.” He raised his hand. “Wait, that sounded wrong. There is no attraction there. I mean that she is so blissful, so innocent that she makes me forget.”
“Was it her scent?”
“Maybe on an unconscious level. I only really noticed it after you toyed with my nose. I mean, Witnesses can pick up on things like that, but understanding that is an essence is not something I could have done.”
I sighed. “Silas, I’m going to do something. It may hurt. No, it will hurt. For several reasons. But I think it is for the best.”
“Why so?” he asked, furrowing his brow.
I glanced to his chest. “Have you ever seen the marks on your soul?”
“I have been struck many times, Queen.”
“Right.” He really had no idea this was going to be excruciating. “Listen, in a past very long ago you were right before my eyes, and I did not see you as mine. I’m so deeply sorry for that.”
“It’s the past.”
“It is, but the scars of my blindness, the results of it, are on your soul.”
He glanced down, but his armor of a Witness was shielding anything he could have seen.
“I’m going to open your mind. When I do, you will see your past, not only the one I know of, but your beginning. That beginning could have been eons before you fell into my line for the first time.”
He was really confused now.
“As your mind opens, I want you to seize the wrath you want to feel. Xavier will pay, and I have already killed the girl by the name of Cadence.”
“I don’t understand what you are worried about. I already carry a wrath for Xavier.”
“That you do,” I sighed. “The wrath in my line is the strongest at the top of it. My First is woven very close to me, meaning that within that soul there is rage, stubbornness, jealousy, a skilled and lethal warrior, and hopefully now a soul that can feel love without fear.”
“Sounds like a man I would fight with.”
“Not a man.” He moved his head from side to side to tell me that I was losing him. “My Fated soul, tread carefully with these memories, for they were never forgotten by those that share them with you. The emotions are raw, and it will take time to mend the wounds.”
“Are you sure you are not about to smite me?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Silas, do you accept me as your queen? Do you openly accept your heritage of an Escort, a heritage that can now love?”
“I accept it, as well as my fate as a Witness.”
That was all I needed. Now he was claimed, connected to all of us.
I reached my hands for his forehead; beneath them, a glow beamed. He breathed in as he felt the hum of my touch. As I slid them down his beautiful face, my energy was fully awakening him, opening his soul so that he could see all of his past.
He began to tremble violently. I pulled him to my arms and held him with all my power. Right now, everything was exploding inside of him; he was reliving it all, feeling it all. His body fully flexed as waves of wrath rolled off him.
I held him until the trembling stopped, until I heard him gasp and draw in a deep breath. He slowly pulled away from me. His eyes were wide as they stared at his chest.
“You always knew. Feel no guilt. You always knew.”
Silas moved his head from side to side as his hand clenched his chest. “He killed her,” he breathed.
“She has been with me in the care of the Reaper.”
“Reaper?”
“We have guarded The Fall together. And tonight, at the procession of death, I will ask the Reaper to grant us a permanent stay, to restore our lives.”
“I’m going.”
I held my hand out. “No, she knows nothing of this.”
“She thinks I’m guilty.”
“Deep down, I doubt it. She knows you are alive.”
“How?”
“Because we stepped out of the Veil and she is still breathing.”
That confused him more.
“You coupled with her. You are joined by the Creator.”
“Three hundred and thirty-three times,” he said as his gaze captured that memory.
“Yeah, that was excessive. But anyway, now as an Escort you are linked to her; if one falls, so shall the other. You need to pay your debts to Charlie, explain that you do love her, that she loves you, but you are not now or have not ever been in love with each other. Tell her why you have had no other choice but to use guilt with her. Tell her so that when I manage to restore Mazing, when you go to her, she will see that.”
“I look nothing like before.”
“That might make it easier, son. The past is painful…maybe you should just convince her to fall in love with you again. As Silas. Let Colton rest.”
“I don’t think I can stay away that long.”
“Right now, you need to speak to Charlie. You need to look the soul that loves her in the eye and tell him that you are sorry, that you are cut from the same cloth.”
“He is yours, too?”
“No, but I love his king, and we are one.”
Silas looked down in shame.
“Fight with them, Silas. Put the past behind you. Rise as a Fated soul that sees both sides. You are not broken; you are tested, tried and true, and you will be rewarded.”
“She is okay? You swear she is?”
“She is.”
“When can I come home? When can I see our home?”
Oh, those words gave me so much peace. “When I return from the Veil.”
He nodded once as he stood. “I’ll do as you ask.” He then bowed gracefully.
I was standing in front of him at that instant. “You have to want to mend these bridges; otherwise, your words matter not.”
“They will matter. I swear it.” He glanced up and then bowed to one knee.