Now, she just wanted to make it better for him.
If only she knew how . . .
But one thing was certain, she wasn't going to leave him like this. Alone. Tormented. Isolated. She owed him too much for that. He'd given her a new life free of over-the-top restrictions and stern punishments.
Her throat tightened as she realized that for the first time in her entire life she was outside in the world without being covered from head to foot, with no guards scowling at her and no old chaperones warning her not to speak or touch anything.
She was free because Adron had stood up for her for no other reason than he was a decent human being. Such a man deserved happiness and love.
Somehow she would make him laugh again. Even if it killed her. Page 23
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THREE
Adron shoved the oxygen mask off his face.
His doctor gave him a peeved glare. "Would you stop that? You need it."
"I can't breathe with it on."
"You can barely breathe, period." Theo put the oxygen mask back in place. Adron narrowed his eyes at the man, but as usual, Theo didn't care. Over the last eight years, their battle of wills had become legendary with the hospital staff.
Theo brushed a hand though his graying black hair while he scowled at Adron. "I can't believe you'd even try to have sex in your condition. What were you thinking?"
That his wife had the best ass he'd ever seen . . .
Adron jerked the mask off. "I'm not a friggin' eunuch."
"No, you're not. But that's about the only part of you that didn't get cut off and that still works the way God intended it to." Theo put the mask back in place. "You need to remember you're a man whose internal organs are barely fused together. Their functionality is minimal at best, and any strain on them can kill you. How many times do I have to tell you that you can't put any pressure on your abdomen?"
"Well, if I have to die, I'd rather go out with a good bang."
Theo curled his lip. "You're not funny."
His throat tight, Adron closed his eyes. An image of Livia drifted through his mind, and he cursed it. Theo checked his IV. "If you'd wear your chest brace like you're--"
"It's hot and it chafes. I can't even move in it."
Sighing, Theo set his electronic chart aside. "Like it or not, Adron, one misplaced fall and you could break something and kill yourself. Your body is as fragile as a roshuna flower."
Yeah, there was something an assassin really wanted to be compared to. He, the baddest of the bad
--the man who'd once made the worst scum in the universe piss in fear--was now a goddamn delicate flower.
I wish I were dead.
Adron removed the mask again. "I don't care. I'm not going to wear that monstrosity. It makes me look like a freak." Which he was, but by the gods, he had no intention of letting everyone know just how damaged he really was.
He did have some pride left.
Theo rolled his eyes. "One day, that stubbornness is going to get you killed."
Yeah, but obviously not soon enough.
More roughly than before, Theo replaced the mask. "By the way, there's a reason why I don't give you medicine to completely numb your pain. You need to feel it to know the limitations of your damaged body. Tell your wife it was a nice thought, but in the future you better not let her help you. Not unless you want to become my permanent guest here at Hotel Hell. Now keep that damn mask in place or I'll have your hands restrained."
In one last act of defiance, Adron made an obscene gesture.
Letting out a sigh of supreme disgust, the good doctor walked away. Theo stopped at the door and turned back to face him. "And the next time you want to have sex, you better find some way to do it without putting any strain on your chest or abdomen. I'm not kidding, Adron. You do this to yourself one more time and I will geld you for it."
"Hey, big brother."
Adron opened his eyes to see Zarina leaning into the room. He tried to muster a smile for her but couldn't. The pain was just too much right now. Not to mention she wouldn't be able to see it anyway for the mask covering his face.
Still, he was glad to see her. No matter how bad he felt, Zarina and her offbeat sense of humor could always make him feel better.
"Theo the Bad said it was okay to see you. How do you feel?" Zarina took a hesitant step inside his Page 24
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room, and it was then he saw Livia behind her and all thoughts scattered. His wife had her long brown hair braided down her back. The blue conservative pantsuit caused her pale skin to glow, and those large doe eyes held so much tenderness in them that it made him ache to be whole.
To be able to love her like she deserved . . .
Adron clenched his teeth as a wave of desire tore through him. He couldn't stand to see her, knowing she belonged to him, and yet he could never again have her.
It was the cruelest blow of all.
I'm not even a man.
He turned his head away from them so he wouldn't be reminded of what an abomination he'd become. Wouldn't remember the man who could have made love to her all night long without tiring. Now . . .
He looked down at his bare, scarred arm that disgusted him. The twisted flesh. The puckered skin . . . How could Livia not be repulsed by him? Even he hated himself. "Get out and leave me alone."
"Adron?"
The sound of Livia's gentle voice washed over him like a gentle caress, and it tore through him like glycerin on glass. Gods, it wasn't fair!
She came forward, and when he felt her touch on his scarred arm . . . Forget the pain of his injuries. They were nothing compared to the mental damage that touch wrought.
"Get away from me!" He pushed Livia back and glared at his sister as his monitors blared. "Take her to a lawyer and get us divorced. Now! I mean it, Rina. Don't you dare ignore me."
Theo came running in with two nurses behind him. "Out," he snapped at the women. "I told you not to upset him."
Livia felt her tears swell at the sight of the doctor forcing Adron to lie down and the sound of Adron cursing them all.
Her throat tight, she looked up at Zarina. "What did I do?"
"It's not you, sweetie." Zarina hugged her to her side as they left the room and headed down the hallway. "Adron is just blaming you for what Alia did."
"Alia?"
"His first wife."
Livia stumbled at the news. "He was married before?" Please don't let him still be married. That was one question she hadn't even thought to ask.
She nodded. "Yes. And she was one serious bitch. To this day, I'd love to rip her cold heart out and feed it to her. Since she was the Wurish heiress, her father had negotiated a marriage between them when they were both in their teens. Alia had agreed only because she wanted a trophy husband, and as the youngest commissioned officer in League history and the next in line to inherit my father's empire, Adron was a choice candidate for her.
"But they never really got along. She was too selfish and bitchy. I think half the missions he took were to escape having to be around her. He spent so much time away from home that he was all but a stranger to us. Then three weeks after Adron had been found--while he was still fighting for his life--my mother, father, and I were in his hospital room, trying to give him reasons to live through the pain. All of a sudden, Alia showed up with divorce papers. She handed them to him and told him she was too young to be nursemaid to some cut-up cripple."
Horror for him filled Livia as she gave Zarina an incredulous stare. "How could she do such a thing?"
"I have no idea, but if I live an eternity, I will never forget the look on Adron's face. I saw something inside him die that day. But honestly, between you and me, I think it's the best thing that could have happened to him. He didn't need her in his life, and it was good riddance to self-indulgent trash. I just wish the bitch h
ad had better timing."
Zarina stopped and leveled a hard look on her. "And speaking of timing . . . are we going to a lawyer'
s office?"
Livia bit her lip in indecision. Adron had been through so much that she wondered if he was still Page 25
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mentally sound. His physical scars she knew; it was the ones she couldn't see that scared her. She searched Zarina's eyes for the truth. "Tell me, is he psychotic or abusive?"
"No. But he is angry and extremely bitter. He was never the type of person to depend on anyone for anything. It humiliates him every time he has to ask for something, and right now he needs help to do even the simplest of things."
She could understand that. She'd never liked being dependent either. And if what she'd seen was his worst, she could definitely withstand it. "Then take me home."
Zarina smiled. "I knew I liked you for a reason."
Over the next few days, Livia spent as much time as she could learning about Adron while she waited for him to come home.
Zarina and Adron's twin brothers, Taryn and Tiernan, were tremendous sources of information. And that afternoon, they'd provided her with a box full of files and pictures. Sitting alone in his media room, she pulled out a handful of old discs to watch. The first one was of Adron with a tall, dark-haired man. Adron appeared to be around the age of twenty, with the dark-haired man a little younger. Adron's long blond hair was loose, spilling over his shoulders as the two of them played a complicated electronic board game. Goodness, but she barely recognized her handsome husband. His face intact, his eyes glowed like blue fire while he drummed his fingers impatiently on the table.
"C'mon, Devyn, move already. You're like watching ice freeze. You keep this pace up and my grandkids will be able to finish the game for you."
"Shut the fuck up, Adron, I'm thinking."
"Yeah, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears. What? You strip a gear or something trying to think? Want me to call Vik over to take your turn for you?"
Devyn made an obscene gesture at him.
Before Devyn could do or say anything else, water poured down over the two of them, drenching them completely and short-circuiting the board.
Adron held his hands out as his expression darkened in anger. "What the hell?"
The men looked up to see a young Zarina with a hose, leaning over the wall while she laughed at them. Adron's gaze narrowed dangerously. "Oh, Reen . . . You're going to die. Painfully."
Dropping the hose, Zarina shrieked and ran, but Adron caught up to her the moment she came around the fence.
"Get her, Adron!" Livia recognized the voice as Tiernan's or Taryn's. One of the twins must have been the one filming them. "Make her pay!"
Adron slung Zarina over his shoulder as he sprinted across the yard with her. Zarina pounded on his wet back as she tried to squirm out of his hold. "I'm going to tell Dad on you if you don't let me go! Put me down, you overgrown bully."
He stopped in front of an inground pool. "You got it." He flipped her over his shoulder, straight into the water.
Zarina came up sputtering and coughing. "Oh, that's it! Devyn! Help your baby cousin! I need my avenger."
Devyn came running. His dark hair was cut short and his eyes glowed with mischief. He grabbed Adron by the waist, and the two of them fell into the pool.
Adron broke the water's surface, laughing.
Devyn grabbed him from behind and dunked him while Zarina pounded on his head.
"No!" Adron's mother, Kiara, shouted as she ran to the pool. Her eyes were wide with fright, and her beautiful face was stern. She looked like she was about to cry. "No playing like that. You know better. One of you could get hurt."
Adron shoved Devyn back before he swiped his hair out of his eyes. "Mom, it's okay."
Kiara shook her head, causing her long mahogany braid to spill over her shoulder. "No, it's not. I Page 26
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couldn't live if I lost one of you, and you both know what Shahara would do if she saw you and Devyn fighting in the deep end of the pool. Now get out of there, all of you, and stop playing around."
Subdued, the three of them climbed out of the pool.
Subdued, that was, until Devyn sneaked up behind Adron and pulled his shorts down. Livia gaped at the sight of Adron completely naked.
So, her husband had never worn underwear . . . She smiled at the knowledge. Cursing, Adron jerked his pants up and ran after his Devyn.
"Adron!" Kiara shouted, but the laughter in her voice took the sternness out of her tone. "Don't you hurt him."
"I'm not going to hurt him, Mom. I'm going to kill him."
"Aunt Kiara, help!" Devyn came running back around and put Kiara between them. Not that she was much of a wall, since she didn't even reach their shoulders.
"Adron," she said sharply. "You touch one hair on his head and his mother will skin you alive. You know it. And there's nothing I can do to stop her."
Adron paused as he glared at Devyn. "It's all right. You have to sleep sometime."
"Yeah, but I have a mecha bodyguard who doesn't." Devyn gave a taunting laugh before he stuck his tongue out.
Adron flashed an obscene gesture. "You suck, you little bastard."
Kiara glared. "Adron, I raised you better than that."
Devyn continued to torture him.
Livia laughed at their loving play, and as she watched more files, she realized that Zarina had been right. Adron had been a kind, fun-loving soul who took very little seriously. Somehow, she was going to find that man and return him to the world. It was a full month and three more surgeries before Theo finally allowed Adron to leave the hospital. All he wanted to do was go home and be left alone. He didn't want to see any more pity on his mother's tear-streaked face. See the guilt in his father's eyes over the fact that there was nothing he could do. He just wanted solitary peace away from everyone. A nice alcohol-induced fog . . . His brother Tiernan moved to help him from the transport. Adron leveled a scowl that made him shrink back.
"Jeez, you ought to bottle that look. I know armies that would pay a fortune to have something that toxic in their arsenal."
Grinding his teeth, Adron got out even though the strain of it made him sweat. "Why are you still here?"
"Dad wanted me to make sure you got home safely."
"I'm home. Now leave."
Tiernan scoffed. "Why would I want to do that? I mean, heaven forbid I should be around someone who actually likes me. It's so much more fun to be here with you insulting my manhood and questioning my parentage every five seconds."
Ignoring him, Adron made his way into his apartment building, to the lifts, and did his best not to remember who had been with him the last time he'd crossed this lobby. Livia.
Her name and face still haunted him. And in spite of himself, he wondered where she was. How she was doing.
"I don't care."
Tiernan stepped into the lift beside him. "What was that?"
"Nothing."
Adron didn't speak until he was back in his apartment. He limped to the bar and searched for something to drink. But nothing was there. Not even the watered down crap. Obviously his family had paid another visit to clean his place out while he'd been gone. "Damn it, which one of you did this?"
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"I did it."
He froze at the sound of Livia's voice behind him. That dulcet tone tore through him like jagged glass. Bracing himself, he turned to face her. But all the bracing in the world couldn't prepare him for the sight of her standing there, dressed in white and looking like a precious angel. Her dark hair was pulled up, with wisps of it falling around her face and shoulders. Daylight shone through the strands, making them glow.
But that was nothing compared t
o those large eyes that seared him. To her Cupid's-bow lips that compelled him with a memory of how sweet they'd tasted. Every part of his body surged to life as his cock hardened. And all he wanted was to feel her hands and mouth on his naked skin. I'm not kidding, Adron. You do this to yourself one more time and I will geld you for it. Too bad Theo hadn't made good on that threat. Because all he wanted was a taste of his wife, and it was the one thing he couldn't have.
Livid over that fact, he snarled at her. "What are you doing here?"
"I live here."
"The hell you do." He turned on his brother. "I want her out of here. Now."
Tiernan held his hands up in surrender. "According to your own words, she's your wife. There's nothing I can do."
"Tiernan," he said in warning.
"Adron," he shot back.
Livia moved forward, and by all appearances, she didn't look a bit shaken by his anger. "Thank you for bringing him home, Tiernan. I think I can handle it from here."
Tiernan arched a doubtful brow. "I don't know if I feel right leaving you at his mercy. He can let blood with that tongue."
"I'm used to people insulting me." She directed a meaningful stare at Adron. "As well as being unwanted. I promise you, there's nothing Adron can say to make me cry."
And in that moment, Adron felt low. He'd never wanted to hurt her. Turning away, he headed for the bedroom.
Livia said good-bye to Tiernan, who let himself out of the apartment, and then she followed after Adron. In spite of her brave words, she was terrified. Even though he was her husband, he was a stranger to her in many ways.
But then, she was used to living in fear, too. At least Adron wouldn't beat her. She hoped.
As she entered the bedroom, she found him lying on the bed, fully clothed, with his arm draped over his eyes. His long, lean body was a feast that made her heart speed up. Strange how lethal and powerful he was while relaxing. But even more frightening was how much she'd missed him. His presence filled the room and added . . .
She couldn't define it. Even though they'd been together for only one night, she felt connected to him. And she'd missed him more than she'd ever missed anyone.
Now that he was here, she wanted to make him happy again. "Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Well then--"
"I want to be alone."
She sighed sadly at his sharp tone. How could she reach the Adron she'd seen in his files? The Adron who'd been so tender and kind to her?