I dreaded going to school on Friday. I was exhausted because I didn’t sleep well at all. I tossed and turned the entire night as I tried to find my way back into my dream, onto that peaceful, heavenly staircase with my father. I wanted to see him again, to be with him, to feel his arms protectively wrapped around me.
Instead my alarm buzzed and I slowly rose to turn it off. I climbed back into bed and tried to decipher whether it was only a dream, and nothing more, or if my dad was trying to communicate with me through it.
It felt so real to me, he felt so real. I desperately wanted to go back to sleep so I could be with my dad again. It hit me hard right then how much I truly missed him. I couldn’t help it. I started to cry. I grabbed my pillow and hugged it tightly. Even though he had died only five years prior, it felt like a lifetime ago, a lifetime since anyone called me Willie.
I contemplated lying and telling my mom that I didn’t feel well. My throat was kind of sore and my heart ached, so I wouldn’t be lying completely. I quickly realized I had no choice but to go to school. I had a huge geometry test that I had spent a lot of time studying for. I didn’t want to forget everything and have to study all over again for the make-up on Monday.
I scrambled out of bed when I saw how late it was and hurried so I wouldn’t have to hear it. I did anyway.
“Willow!” my mom screamed from the bottom of the stairs. “Hurry up!”
I opened my door and yelled back. “Coming!”
I threw on the closest pieces of clothing I could grab, a stained sweatshirt and a dirty pair of jeans, which were strewn on my bedroom floor. I barely brushed my teeth or hair and didn’t attempt to put on any makeup. I never got ready so fast in my entire life.
As I grabbed my hobo book bag, I caught a glimpse of myself in my full-length mirror. At first I thought there was a stranger in my room with me and then slowly realized the sad truth that it was I, looking more like a homeless person than an unhappy, over-achieving, sleep-deprived teen.
• • •
Tessa wasn’t in homeroom and I was glad because I didn’t want to talk to her or anyone. I caught a few people looking at me strangely, probably because I looked so scary. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to be bothered anyway and figured my new look could only contribute to the new hermit image I was trying to convey.
I finished my math test and felt pretty good about it. I got at least an A, I felt, or perhaps even better because I knew the answer to the bonus questions, too.
As I waited while the rest of the class finished up, Erica, who sat beside me, slipped me a tiny note. I quickly grabbed it and opened it up. She wrote, “Just to let you know, some of the senior girls are referring to you and Tessa not as sophomores, but as soph-whore-mores.”
I was shocked and totally speechless. I couldn’t have uttered a single word, even if I had wanted to, because we were still in the middle of an exam.
I glanced at Erica and she shot me her smug, self-righteous smile, as if I was getting exactly what I deserved.
I crumpled up the little piece of paper and threw it back at her. I didn’t care what other girls were saying about me. I knew it wasn’t true. I had no desire to hook up with any of the senior boys and had sat at their “coveted” lunch table only once.
I knew most of the girls in the school didn’t like Tessa and that she had a bad reputation in general. I shouldn’t have been lumped in with her simply because I was friends with her.
Tessa had her own mind, as did I, and was completely her own person. Even so, I thought back to what my mom used to say when referring to some of our oddball, close-knit neighbors from our old neighborhood, “Birds of a feather, flock together.”
But that didn’t mean that I was totally like Tessa because we hung out together a few times. If anything, the only thing that I felt that we had in common was that we both seemed to long for female friendships. I shouldn’t be faulted for wanting a best friend, or any friend at all, for that matter.
The bell rang and I tried to race out of there so I could avoid any further interactions with the condescending Erica. She was quicker than I thought and caught me right beyond the doorway. She tugged on my sleeve and stood with her hand on her hip.
“Willow, I only told you that for your own good. I don’t want people talking about you and saying lies about you because Taylor and I know the kind of person you really are.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I know you mean well, Erica, but right now my reputation and what ‘senior girls’ are calling me are the least of my problems.”
I turned and walked off toward my last class of the day and decided that, at the very least, I would definitely have given Erica an “A+” for effort.
• • •
I finally got home after a long, tiring day. All I could think about was getting back into bed so I could take a much-needed power nap. I put on a clean pair of sweats and finally brushed my teeth.
On the ferry ride back to Pike’s, I had resolved to meet up with Michael. I had thought very long and very hard about it and decided I had nothing to lose. Worst case was that Michael wouldn’t show up and I’d end up wasting money on the taxi ride over. It was still too cold to walk or ride my bike. I was very curious and figured I would at least find out where his family’s summerhouse was located.
As I lay in bed, I thought about how it would be when I saw Michael the very next day. Would he look the same? Would he be thinner or paler? Would I feel anything at all toward him when I looked at him for the very first time in a long time?
I drifted off, even as a million different scenarios raced through my brain. I had finally fallen asleep when my cell phone rang and woke me. I grabbed it and read the phone number. I did not recognize it and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Willow, it’s Brian Roberts. How are you?”
I sat up, somewhat panicked. Brian had never called me on my cell phone before. “Fine. Is everything alright?”
“Everything is fine. Listen,” he said, “as you know, your mother’s birthday is in a couple of weeks and I wanted to surprise her and take her to a spa overnight, so she can get a massage and relax and—”
I was tired, impatient and interrupted him. “So what do you want me to do?”
“Would you be willing to stay home and watch James overnight?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I always babysat, I thought to myself. Why was he asking my permission this time? Was it because it was for more than just a few hours?
“Great! But you’re gonna have to stay home, overnight, Willow, all night long.”
I wasn’t deaf. “I know. You already said that.”
“You can’t sneak out, stay out all night, and then sneak back in, if you know what I mean. James cannot be left alone and I don’t want your mother to have to worry one second while we’re away. I want this to be a trip where she’s relaxed and completely stress-free.”
What was Brian saying to me? “Why would I sneak out and stay out all night?” I asked.
“Let’s just say,” Brian responded, “unlike your mother,” he paused for effect, “I’m a very light sleeper.”
Oh, I thought to myself. I got it. Brian must have heard me sneak back in the night of Rocky’s “sleepover” because he had ended up bunking over at our house. And it was obvious he didn’t tell my mom because I would have definitely been grounded for it. I had to give Mr. Brian Roberts credit; he kept a secret from my mother.
“Not a problem,” I said. “Just let me know when.”
“Well, even though your mom’s birthday is in two weeks, I wanted to catch her off guard and take her away sooner.”
“Sure. When?”
“Tomorrow night.”
What!? I wanted to yell. Tomorrow night, of all nights? Was he kidding me?
“When would you guys leave?”
“I booked the spa for noon, so we’ll have to leave here relatively early, say nine or ten.”
I sighed, fell back onto my pillow an
d couldn’t believe it. So much for meeting up with Michael.
“Does that work for you?” Brian wanted to know.
“Yeah. I guess,” I mumbled.
“Fantastic, Willow, and thank you. Remember, mums the word!” Brian bellowed before hanging up.
I stared at my ceiling and couldn’t believe my luck. What would I tell Michael? Should I cancel the plans altogether or have him come to my house instead? No. I could never do that. My brother had such a big mouth and would tell my mother that I had a boy over the minute she got back home.
As I lay there in disbelief, I decided there was nothing I could really do except try to come up with a solution of how I could do both: see Michael and stay with James. In the meantime, I wanted to close my eyes and seek the sleep that somehow evaded me.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR