Chapter 3
Sentinel
(Olivia)
I don’t know where Mason has been, but when he pops up near the cafeteria, I latch onto his arm and refuse to let go. “Where have you been all morning?”
“Getting to know our new friend,” Mason says.
“What?”
Mason shrugs, as if my question barely fazes him, but I can see the tension in his shoulders.
“I decided to go to class with Robin.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Mason asks. “Because she can see me and talk to me. That’s reason enough.”
I can certainly understand the appeal, but I’m still miffed. “You could have at least told me where you were going. I turned around and you were gone.”
Mason rolls his eyes. “And interrupt your fascinating conversation with Hayden Benton?”
“Fascinating?” What on earth is he talking about? Hayden returned my pencil and asked me if I knew when our next test was.
I shake off Mason’s weirdness and say, “Look, I know you’re excited that someone other than me can see and hear you, but we know nothing about this Robin chick. What if she uses something you tell her against you?”
“What’s she going to do? Tell people you have an invisible guy living at your house? I’m sure that will go over well.”
“Would you please be serious about this for five seconds?” I snap.
Mason’s body bristles. He takes a step away from me and turns the corner. Knowing the drill, I follow him to the abandoned drinking fountains and pull out my phone. I hold it to my ear, so if anyone walks by they’ll assume I’m arguing with whoever is on the other end of the call and not that I’m totally insane, yelling at a wall.
Usually we can manage to talk without anyone else noticing, thanks to the crowds and noise. Pulling a stunt like this means if we continue this conversation, people will notice. I don’t like these kinds of conversations.
Locking eyes with Mason, I ask, “What is going on?”
For a moment, Mason doesn’t respond. He seems to be considering his words very carefully. That’s never a good sign, either.
“Robin knows stuff,” Mason says slowly.
“Like what kind of stuff?”
After a minute of shuffling, Mason responds. “Stuff like naming ceremonies, Caretakers, how good my memory is.”
“What do you mean? How much does she know?” Everything he’s saying is only making me more anxious.
“Well, she knew enough to ask me questions about my name, for starters. She knew what a big deal it was to my family, and she acted like that was totally normal.”
I can feel my nose crinkle. Evie tells me every time she sees me doing it that I’m wrecking my skin with all the scrunching and I’ll end up with wrinkles like cat whiskers. I’m not vain, or at least I don’t think I am, but that does concern me a little. I try to unwrinkle my nose and think.
“Okay, so what does that mean?” This time my forehead wrinkles. “When she called you an Aerling and acted like it was no big deal, I guess I figured that meant there are more people like you out there somewhere. How does she know this stuff?”
Mason fidgets again, folding his arms across his chest. “She said something about Caretakers, people who watch over Aerlings. She said her and her ancestors have been Caretakers for a long time, and get this… she used to have an Aerling.”
“She used to have one? That sounds like she’s talking about a toy car. What is a Caretaker, anyway? Like some kind of foster family?”
“I guess,” Mason says with a shrug. Now he really starts getting antsy. His feet shuffle and his eyes go to his shoes. I know that look as well.
Sighing, I ask, “What did you tell her?”
“I may have told her that you and your family are Caretakers, too,” he admits. Mason looks up, searching my expression for a reaction. He seems shocked when he gets one.
“What?” I demand. “Why would you do that? What if she asks me some kind of Caretaker question, or wants to compare notes, or has some kind of secret handshake?”
Mason snorts, only maddening me even more. “Really? A secret handshake?” His laugh is incredibly annoying.
“Well, it isn’t any weirder than living with an invisible person!” I defend.
His head shakes back and forth. “What else did you expect me to tell her? Was I supposed to admit that my real family …”
Suddenly, Mason looks away. When I realize his hands are balled into fists and his jaw is quivering, I reach out to him. I can hardly stand here hugging a bunch of thin air, but I slide my hand around one of his fists. I know thinking about his family is never easy. His reaction right now is more intense than usual, though. Worry that Robin dredged up memories he’d rather forget makes me edge away from concern about her and toward dislike.
It takes another minute before Mason continues. “I couldn’t explain all of that to her.”
“I know.” My hand tightens around his. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
Mason shakes off my apology. “It’s more than that, too. She obviously knows what’s supposed to happen with Aerlings. If I tell her what really happened, what would she do? Maybe there’s some kind of Aerling Child Services, or something. What if she told someone and they tried to take me away from you?”
“Mason, Mom and Dad would never let anyone take you from us. I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Who knows what people might be involved, or what they’re capable of?” Mason says.
The worry that has been niggling at my mind worsens. Mason has never shared the exact details of what happened to his real family, but I know enough to understand it was bad. It had to be for a five year old to end up wandering the streets alone. If that wasn’t proof enough, Mason’s nightmares are more than enough to convince me.
The first night he stayed with me, we were huddled together on my bed, sleeping after a full afternoon of playing in the backyard. It was the shaking that woke me first. I tried to ask him what was happening, but he wouldn’t wake up. Then he started screaming. I was so freaked out that I ran into my parents’ room crying, begging them to help me. They thought I was the one having bad dreams, because, of course, they thought Mason was imaginary, but it did the trick. Mom took me back to my room and sang songs to me while I held Mason’s hand. I wouldn’t let her leave until he stopped crying.
“Mason, what if what happened to your family …” I pause as his hand cinches around mine. “What if Robin has something to do with them?”
“I don’t know, Olivia. I know we just met her, but she seems so genuine. She’s pretty stoked about finding me. Whatever she knows, I don’t think she, herself, is dangerous,” he says, “but if she tells people about me, and word gets back to the wrong people, it could be bad.”
No kidding, I think, as I turn and lean against the wall. I can admit that I have always been curious about Mason’s past. If it means risking his safety or not having him in my life, I will happily leave those questions unanswered forever. I push away from the wall and meet his eyes. My seriousness is hard for him to dodge. He straightens up as well.
“So, how do we handle this?” I ask.
Mason shrugs. “We go to lunch, I guess.”
Okay, so maybe he isn’t going to be serious. My narrowing eyes have no effect on him. “Mason,” I growl. “We need a plan.”
“I already told you my plan. You pretend you’re my Caretaker and we find out as much as we can from Robin at lunch.”
“Your plan sucks,” I grouch. Even still, my shoulders slouch because I don’t have a better one. “Fine. Let’s go to lunch.”
I don’t realize Mason is still holding my hand until he starts toward the cafeteria and my arm is yanked after him. Apparently he didn’t realize either, because he stops and looks down at our hands. He smiles sheepishly, no doubt embarrassed that his earlier anxiety affected him so much.
His hand slides out of mine as he says, “Sorry.”
I bump against Mason’s shoulder with a smile before continuing on to the cafeteria. As soon as we walk through the double doors, I spot her. It’s hard to miss her sitting all by herself at a table meant for eight. Her bright red glasses stick out just as much as her big, goofy grin. I can’t help cringing when she sees us and starts waving enthusiastically. People already think I’m kind of weird. Robin certainly isn’t going to improve my reputation.
Mason is already five steps ahead of me before I commit myself to sitting down next to Robin. By the time I actually sit down, I am convinced she is about to explode. The mental image of her head bursting like a party balloon does nothing to improve my mood. Normally, I don’t mind perky people. Perky and question hungry, possibly a threat…that, I’m not so keen on.
“How was your morning, Olivia? I had so much fun with Mason! He hung out in my classes with me and we talked about all kinds of stuff. I love the name your family picked out for him! He only told me about his first name, though. I can’t wait to hear about the other names. I was too little when my parents chose the name for our Aerling, but I loved hearing the meanings. I am so excited to get to talk about this stuff again! It’s been forever since I’ve had Caretaker friends to chat with. Aren’t you excited?” Robin says, the words bulleting out of her mouth.
A quick glance over at Mason almost makes me laugh. With one eyebrow cocked and his mouth hanging half open, he looks a little surprised by Robin’s free flowing enthusiasm. He hasn’t had to spend nearly as many hours listening to Evie prattle on about everything under the sun as I have. Needless to say, I recover first.
“Excited might be a little strong,” I say simply.
Now Robin looks shocked. “What? How can you not be excited? I always hated keeping secrets. It feels so awesome to be able to talk about this stuff with someone who understands.”
Regardless of the fact that Robin is acting completely clueless, I’m not buying it just yet. I lean back in my chair and eye her carefully. “We prefer keeping to ourselves, actually. Having other Caretakers around, well, it feels a little claustrophobic.”
“Hmm,” Robin says, tilting her head to one side. “I guess I might be a little out of the loop since it’s been a while since we’ve had much contact with the others, but I didn’t think the conflict was still going on. Grandma said it had been bad when she was younger, but she made it sound like most of it had resolved. Mom and Dad never really talked about it. Has it gotten worse? Was there an actual split? Oh wow, if there was… maybe I should call my grandma when I get home and ask her about it.”
Sure that Robin will continue to ramble without stopping, I step in and shut her up before she totally loses me. “Look, I have no idea what you’re talking about …”
Mason’s eyes widened, thinking I am about to bail on his not-so-carefully laid plan. I roll my eyes and refocus on Robin.
“I never said anything about a conflict or splitting. All I said was that my family prefers to keep things private. We don’t have much contact with the other Caretakers or anyone else involved in all this, for that matter.”
“Why not?” Robin all but demands.
“Why should we?” I counter. Not my best comeback, but I am grasping at straws here.
Robin’s shoulders drop in defeat. “Because…because other Caretakers are the only ones who understand. We help each other and give each other support when we need it. It’s not easy walking around with secrets all the time.”
For some reason, Robin’s chin dips down. I can’t say for sure, but I think I see a hint of tears in her eyes. Is she hiding something? Guilt would be my guess, but guilt for what? I’m suddenly so fixated on what mistakes she might have made, or secrets she might have let her runaway mouth spit out, that when she speaks again I jump.
“What about Mason? Staying in contact with the other Caretakers gives all the Aerlings a chance to socialize and help each other,” Robin says, just a touch indignant.
Her tone gets under my skin. Is she judging my family for our choices? In the back of my mind, I know she has the whole situation screwed up because we’re lying to her, but all the same, what right does she have to judge?
“Mason has me,” I snap, “and Evie and Mom and Dad. Why would he need anyone else?”
Again, I look over at Mason, expecting him to back me up. The expression on his face makes me falter. There is longing and guilt reflected in his eyes. I don’t understand. He would never want to leave us, right? There’s no way he would ever want other Aerlings more than us. It hurts to think he would even consider it. I am stunned…until Robin starts talking again.
“Why would he want to be around other Aerlings?” Robin asks in disbelief. She shakes her head at me, like I’m the crazy one. “Olivia, you seriously can’t imagine what it’s like to be like Mason? His world consists of his family, only his family. Even though I’m sure you all love him a lot, that’s a totally tiny world!
“Sure, he can go anywhere, do anything, and no one will ever see him. Nobody else sees the talents he has or gets to experience his personality and sense of humor. The only people who hear and see him are obligated to love him because they’re his family. It makes it pretty hard to ever feel truly accepted!
“And they’re so different. They experience life here in a way we can never understand. They have to be hidden, kept secret, lied about. It hurts to always be viewed as a potential problem, don’t you get that? Being around other Aerlings is the only time they’re actually free to be themselves! Why would you want to take that away from him?”
Her accusing stare pins me. I am too shocked to say anything. My eyes dart to Mason, hoping he will stand up for me, for my family. I am stunned all over again when I see his defeated posture, his glassy eyes downcast. Suddenly, it doesn’t matter that everything Robin is judging my family for is all ridiculous because we never actually made choices to keep Mason away from people like him. We didn’t even know they existed. We did the best we could, but it doesn’t make any difference.
I realize as I watch Robin’s hand slide comfortingly over Mason’s that it’s all true, regardless of reality. Mason has felt isolated. He hates being our secret… our problem. Practical jokes aside, it kills him to be locked inside the little box that is my family. I know he loves us, but Robin is right, he will never have the opportunity to experience life in a way that truly gives it meaning.
Mason’s funk this morning seemed so strange to me at the time. Now, I am astounded that I have been so blind not to see how much he has been struggling lately. I sniff against the inevitability of tears, tilting my head up just enough to keep them from falling.
“Olivia,” Robin says, sounding rather far away.
When I don’t respond right away, she says my name again. Eventually, I turn in her direction, but don’t actually look up at her. Only Mason’s hand closing over mine gives me enough strength to meet her gaze. When I do, Robin looks embarrassed.
“Olivia, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be so awful to you. I wasn’t thinking, something my mom says happens all the time when I start talking.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s just that the other Caretakers we knew were so supportive through everything and it made such a difference to know them. I didn’t think that maybe your family had experienced something different until Mason explained.” Robin shakes her head, chastising herself. “I know, that’s not an excuse. I shouldn’t have judged, either way. Sometimes my mouth just gets the better of me. Friends?”
I stare at her, completely dumbfounded. I turn and stare at Mason. “You told her?” I squeak.
Mason meets my eyes directly, speaking slowly when he begins. “I told her about the other Caretakers your parents knew. I told them how they betrayed some of the families in our area and told their secrets, and the harm they caused. Robin understands now that your mom and dad were just trying to protect me by distancing us from the others.”
His gaze doesn’t waver until I nod slowly.
Where did he come up with that? I am amazed that he was able to fabricate a convincing lie so easily, and deliver it so calmly. More importantly, I am so relieved that he stuck up for our family, no matter how much Robin’s words rang true with him.
Both of Mason’s hands are on the table, but I pat his leg gently in thanks. Mason’s eyes dart over to mine at the feel of my hand on his thigh. I feel badly for startling him and pull my hand back, but suddenly his hand is gripping mine, holding it tightly in place.
Knowing that he is probably still hurting from what Robin said earlier, I don’t try to pull away again. Instead, I turn back to Robin. I am no longer in the mood for a question and answer session, but I do have one thought scampering around in my mind that won’t be put off for later.
“Robin, you mentioned the Aerling your family used to take care of, but obviously he or she isn’t with you anymore. What happened?”
Robin’s already pale face turns ghostly. “Her name was Eliana, and she isn’t with us anymore because the Sentinels killed her.”