Rose felt a trickle of laughter climb up into her throat.
“You laughin’?”
“Just the way you are smashing those flies.”
“Just thinkin’ on it gets me all up in de air again. And ‘dis heat don’t help none. I declare it be the hottest day yet.”
“Maybe that’s why we are all a bit sluggish. Maybe some lemonade with ice chips….”
“That be the thing.” Portia trotted off. “Under the shade.”
“I’ll get the girls.” Rose took her time, heading for the front verandah. June had come already; six months since her husband passed. She wiped her face and collapsed into a chair. The sun was beating off the water so brightly she had to shade her eyes.
“Girls, Portia is making lemonade. We’re heading out under the shade tree out back. Come along…sun’s too hot up front.”
“We don’t mind.” Lily said quickly.
Rose looked in the direction of Lily’s gaze. There was Thomas, talking to Nettie. What was Nettie doing around here? Then a smile came to her face. No doubt paying a visit to a local, because Nettie was dressed very nicely for a hot day like this. And in one of her own stylish dresses. She must be making a call. So…Thomas and Nettie knew each other.
Love was everywhere. Portia and Emmanuel. Stella and Foster. Upstairs in the attic. Someday, maybe she would be loved.
“Goodness gracious.” She said aloud. “I must be overcome.” She fanned herself with the church paddle fan she found laying on a chair.
“We ready.” Lily said and took hold of Matilda Jane’s hand and pulled her up.
The next second Matilda Jane gasped and there was a puddle at her feet.
“Oh my.” Rose said. “Quick, run get your grandmother, Lily.”
Lily was off like a gunshot.
“Let’s get you inside.” Rose put her hand at her waist and helped her in.
“I don’t want to get your floor wet.” Matilda Jane looked as though she was going to cry.
“Don’t worry. I’ll clean it up. It’s only water.” Rose said, not knowing a thing. She was happy to see Portia come hurrying up.
“Here now chile. First babies take a long time. We ain’t takin’ you up to the bed just yet. Too hot and all you be doing is rolling in dem hot covers. We’ll get you cleaned up and walk this baby right on outta you. Best way.”
The young girl looked like Rose felt. Scared out of her mind. Matilda Jane was just a child herself. And Captain Wyatt, the scoundrel, wasn’t even here. Rose let her thoughts overtake her. And scolded herself . . . this was not the time.
Portia helped prepare the girl while Lily went to boil water. Rose didn’t know what to do, had never been present at a birth, only heard talk from the ladies, which wasn’t much; they didn’t discuss such things. She felt useless.
Quick, she ran out to the garden, cut some colorful flowers and carried them up in a large vase to Matilda Jane’s room. Perhaps the sight of them would soothe her pain. She turned the counterpane down, then snatched it off the bed. It would be too hot. She found a fresh set of sheets and smoothed the cotton material over the mattress, then tossed several pillows on the bed.
The infant bed must be made ready. She searched the wardrobe, found pillow covers and formed a soft bed for the baby. Thankful she had made gowns, at least the child would have clothing, even though it most likely wouldn’t need much in this dreadful heat.
Done, she looked around. It was all she knew to do. Anxiety lit her up inside. She had to be about some business. Down the stairs she flew as Lily flew up with the same look on her face.
“Where’s she at?” Rose inquired.
“She sittin’ on the bench in the garden just this minute, but Granmama made her get up and walk.”
Rose nodded and scurried toward the garden and peeked out. Sure enough Portia was instructing her to breathe and walk. The girl’s face looked okay, and then she stopped, grabbed a nearby branch and Rose watched as her face screwed up tight.
“Oh dear.” She whispered and noticed Portia left her alone until the pain passed.
“Should I go for the doctor?” She whispered.
“No. Women be having babies just the way God made it. Natural-like. We have trouble, we’ll call Dr. Case right away.” She assured Rose. “You go on now and I be lettin’ you know if we need you.” Portia shoved her off.
Rose pulled in a deep breath. She was going to take a walk. She went straight out the front door and down the verandah steps. The sun was still high, so she headed down the wooden boardwalk, turned and came back again. It was too hot, so she did not meet too many people. She walked until she couldn’t breathe anymore. How awful it must be for Matilda Jane, she thought and walked faster.
Some time later she realized the top of her head was burning. She hadn’t even had the sense to put on her straw hat, protect her creamy pale complexion which so many ladies were fond of. She dashed inside, listened for noises and hearing slight groans, dashed back out. This time she took the swing and swung. Hard.
In and out she went all afternoon catching Portia’s eyes and then at the shake of her head, leaving again. It was nearing dusk and she heard louder noises and went in. Surely the girl had suffered enough, she prayed for the child to come quick.
“Time to take her up to the bed.” Portia declared. “You come on up behind me and Lily now Miz Rose and make sure our girl doesn’t fall down ‘dem stairs.”
Rose knew Portia. She was worried. It had been so long.
She helped get Matilda Jane into the bed and watched as Portia tied old dish towels to the black iron footboard. It was all she could do not to run, but birth was something every mother had to go through and if she wanted to be one, she’d better know how it went. So she stayed.
Matilda Jane labored and cried, called out and shouted, and still the baby did not come. Even if Portia said no, Rose was going for Dr. Case if this didn’t stop.
Suddenly, Portia placed herself next to the bed and when Matilda Jane let out a scream, Portia called out, “It be a girl. A purty little girl.” She lifted the tiny bundle. “Come on Rose, take ‘dis child and wrap her up good now. She cain’t get a chill. Go on, lay out a blanket.”
Rose did and she watched Portia place the tiny thing into it and Rose folded her inside and picked her up, for she was mewling like a new baby kitten. She held it close and looked at the miniature eyes as they tried to open and when they did Rose spoke to her.
“My, my, aren’t you something. So tiny and look at all that dark hair.” She crooned and took a seat in the rocker.
Matilda Jane’s hair was tossed all about and she was sweating. Portia had finished her up and now was sponging her face with a cool rag. “Der now, chile you done had yo baby and she be just fine. You rest and pretty soon you can nurse her. Right now Miz Rose done got her over der in the rocker and she be doin’ jus fine.”
“Thank you…” Rose heard the weak voice from the bed.
Chapter 42
Portia took the babe and washed it in warm water and gave instructions for Rose to dress her.
“I’ve never dressed an infant. Let me watch you do it.” Rose looked up to see a bit of merriment in Portia’s eyes.
“Then it be time you learn how, if’n you want your own babies some day.” She declared as she handled the freshly bathed child to Rose.
“Oh dear.” She declared and held it tightly against her, then relaxed. “I’m so afraid I will hurt her; her bones are so tiny and her fingers.
“She be fine. Now…” Portia spread a clean square of cotton out. “Just lay her head and feet cornerwise and wrap like de wrap them fish down at the market.”
Rose, tired as she was fell into a fit of giggles. “You make things much more simple.” Hand over her heart.
A shaky hand, Portia noted. “Ain’t nothin’ to it. They needs to be clean, bellys full, and loved up. That’s it and all in a basket.”
“That’s all?” Rose questioned, serious now.
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“Yep, ‘at’s it.”
“Well then, I believe I could do that.” Rose lifted the child and laid her just like Portia said and wrapped her up.”
“Forgot one thing.” Portia held her hand over her mouth. “She need a diaper first.”
“Oh.” Rose said and unwrapped. “I didn’t think of that.”
“She be ruinin’ ever dress you got.” Portia said matter-of-fact and showed Rose how to diaper an infant. “Now den you wrap her up.”
Rose did and smiled. “She looks quite cozy and look, her little eyes are closing.”
“Take her on up now and give her to her ma. She be needin’ to feed her chile and grow close-like.”
Rose gently lifted her to her chest and walked very slowly to the bed, all the while watching the little face. Once there she said over her shoulder, whispering, “Matilda Jane is asleep.”
“Den come on over here and rock the babe. Maybe she be tired from all that long birthing, both of ‘em. They’ll sleep. And when that little one open up her mouth and start calling for her ma, we’ll know she be hungry.”
Rose took a seat in the rocker and found a comfortable position and just stared at the little piece of human being she held in her arms. She knew a babe was coming to Matilda Jane, but she didn’t know it would be like this.
* * *
Sometime later Rose opened her eyes and realized she’d fallen asleep… with the infant in her arms. Startled, she looked down, afraid should she have dropped her. Still asleep. Two candles were lit in the room. Portia had been here and seen to them. The day had been so long and so intense all the snuff had gone out of them. She tuned her ear, noted that not a sound came from below. What time was it anyway? She heard two policemen talking through the slightly open window and a pole light went out and then was lit again by the gas lighter.
The world went on as though nothing had changed. But so much had changed in her own household. Her tiredness overcame her and she wept. She wanted a child of her own.
Swiping at the tears, she heard the familiar creek of the stairs. Lily stood in the doorway in her nightdress. “Miz Rose.” She whispered, wiping the sleep from her eyes. Granmama tole me to come up and see if ya-all is all right.”
“We’re fine, Lily. Thank you dear, you go back to bed. If we need anything I’ll come down and get you.”
“Yes Miz Rose.” She said and tiptoed away into the darkness.
The time went by slowly as Rose rocked, her head back, eyes closed, but careful not to fall asleep again. Then suddenly her eyes popped open. A sound was coming from that tiny baby and it wasn’t just a mewl, which is all she had heard up to this time. It was a loud, needy sort of cry. Rose wandered if she had pinched her or something worse. She stood quickly and walked back and forth, ready to run for Portia.
But noises came from behind. Matilda Jane was awake. “Bring her to me.” She said and Rose did. The young girl adjusted her gown and set the child at her breast, Rose watching intently as it began to suckle. Tears fell down her face and she didn’t even know she was crying until they dropped off her chin and onto the babe’s blanket. She swiped at them, realizing she was far past overtired. She was just plain daft.
Babies were born all the time, she said to herself. But none of it made sense. There was something inside her that had come alive since all this had happened. Something she could not take back no matter how long she lived. She thought about Ava McGuire who wanted a child but could not because her husband would not allow it. Suddenly she sensed Ava’s desire. And she, Rose, with no husband.
Her mother’s sense of practicality burrowed into her brain. She was a widow, for goodness’ sake. And only six months. There was a decent amount a lady should wait. And here she stands longing for a child. She tut-tutted aloud and forced herself to think rationally.
“Will you be all right?” Rose whispered.
“Yes ma’am. Thank you. But afterward I would like to use the chamberpot.”
Rose pulled it out from beneath the bed and left the room, sensing she was an intruder. Mother and child needed time to bond. Portia had said that somewhere along the way. She took a last look and found her way down the stairs to the ice box where she found cheese and boiled eggs and a chunk of bread. She slattered the bread with butter and ate, knowing she needed her bed and time to gather her senses.
“You’d think I had birthed the little lass myself.” She muttered as she ate.
Chapter 43
The first three days the entire household was running up and down the stairs. No one could stay away from the room. Then something happened that Rose did not understand. Portia caught her at the bottom of the stairs and pulled her to the office.
‘Dat girl won’t feed the babe. She got what we call the ‘baby blues.’ Nothin’ I say or do will make her feed that chile. I made up some herbal tea, like my mama made for times like these, but she would have none of it. Said she didn’t want the babe.”
“What?” Rose couldn’t think why. She had carried the child and given birth. How could she not want to feed her? “Why?”
“Nobody knows ‘bout these things. Human bein’s be funny creatures sometimes. She be young. Could be she didn’t want the babe….”
“Do you mean Captain Wyatt could have …. have….” She couldn’t say the words.
“It be possible. Some men be like ‘at. Where you think all ‘dem kids come from down at the orphanage. Most of ‘em be chil’ren from ship captains when they come into port and leave. Agin and agin.” She said looking at Rose. “Miz Rose, I be sorry. You ain’t a’quainted with such doins. I be telling things I shouldn’t be speaking of to a lady.”
“No.” Rose said firmly. “I’m a grown woman. I should know about these things. It’s….it’s just that my life has been so protected from the world. My parents…well…we didn’t speak on these subjects.”
“It’s only ‘cause you never had to, chile. No harm in dat. We’ll be think o’somethin’. Emmanuel out right now gettin’ milk from ‘de neighbor’s goat. I done fried a big batch o’dem donuts and traded her for milk.”
“Oh Portia.” Rose threw her arms around the woman and welcomed those loving arms around her. “What would I do without you?”
“Chile you need a husband to take care o’you. And some babies.”
Rose did need a husband, but after seeing Matilda Jane’s pain, she could wait for babies. A sound from the back brought Emmanuel into the house. “Got a clean bucket o’milk settin’ on the table.” He said and seeing the women talking low, went back outside.
“Thank you Emmanuel.” Portia called out, then patted Rose on the shoulder and hustled out. “We gots to get milk in dat child. I be watching. That little girl done cried herself out and is weak from it all. I done brought her down here w’us. Lily been rocking and soothin’ it til we could get milk.”
Rose panicked and ran up the stairs. Perhaps she could talk to Matilda Jane. She had to do something. She knocked at Matilda Jane’s door and crept in. “Are you awake?”
“I’m awake Mrs. Lovell.”
Rose heard despondency in the voice. “Would you like tea? Are you hungry?”
“No, neither. I just want to be alone.”
“I see.” Rose twisted her hands at her waist. “Would you like me to bring the baby up? She’s very hungry.”
“NO. I’ve bound myself up.”
Rose tried not to show her surprise.
“I don’t want it.” Matilda Jane whimpered. “I don’t want it. I want to go back to the orphanage.”
“Back to the orphanage?” Rose repeated quietly.
“Yes. I want it to be like it was before.”
“I see.” Rose said and her anger seethed toward Captain Wyatt.
“Captain Wyatt will be back soon.”
“He can’t help me.” Matilda Jane turned her head into the pillow and Rose heard sobs like she’d never heard before. She couldn’t fix this, no matter what she said, but she could send a lette
r! And she would do it right this minute.
Even though the door was shut the sounds of Matilda Jane’s sobs lingered in Rose’s ears. The quill and ink came out and she scratched off a scathing letter then wadded it up and tossed it. This would not do. Information of this sort must be handled very delicately. Finger at her chin, eyes closed, she prayed for calmness and wisdom. She thought through all she knew about Captain Wyatt. He liked his liquor. He had a woman…oh, there could be the problem. Perhaps he had a woman and . . . well Rose couldn’t think about it. Captain Wyatt had a duty. He must see to his daughter and to the woman who bore him the child.
Noises at the front door. She did not wish to see anyone. No cards lay in the dish, so what guests could possibly be coming now? She sighed. Besides that no one knew Matilda Jane was here so it was better to keep guests to a minimum.
Her thoughts tangled, she opened the door and there stood Captain Wyatt. She stared at him. He was cleaned up and presentable, not in a hurry as usual. She guessed he was not here to gain permission to unload the ship since it was his own.
He took two steps in the door and Rose could not account for what happened next.
“Sir. You have finally arrived. Finally shown your face here. I will have you know your child has been born and Matilda Jane is not well. At this moment the child is receiving nourishment from a neighbor. I am undone Captain Wyatt, and quite disappointed in you.”
When she saw the frown on his face, she became more angry. “Do not insult me by acting as though you know nothing of what I am speaking about. You have a duty sir, and I will see that you keep it.”
“And what duty is that, Mrs. Lovell.”
She heard his voice, saw the look in those dark eyes. He was calm but underneath….she could feel his ire.
“You have a daughter, sir. Born just two days ago. Unnamed. And you stand here her father. What have you to say for yourself?”
“Who said I was the father?”
“It was clear the moment you brought that young lass here, Mr. Wyatt.”
He noted he had lost his title.
“You, sir, need to go above stairs and see your . . . your….the mother of your child.” She stood aside, arms crossed her beating chest.