“You are undone, Mrs. Lovell.”
“I? I am undone? Sir you defraud yourself. I demand you make sense of this and go up this minute.” She felt tears sting her eyes.
He softened his voice. It was clear she was distraught. If he spoke harshly now he could see he would be pounded severely by those little fists that formed. For he doubted she even knew herself, they were bound up one on each side holding her skirts. He had only to make the wrong move.
“You madam have allowed yourself to be misinformed.”
“Aye, then you are refusing to acknowledge your own child?”
“If the child was mine I would stand up as her father. As it is, I am not the child’s father.”
Rose looked at him and afraid she would lose her self-respect, she gave him her back.
Captain Wyatt noted her tiny waist, her fragile frame and that red-blond curly hair popping out from every direction. Had the opportunity arisen he would take her in his arms and comfort her, but that would never be possible. She was too much like the love he lost and he was not sure he could abide that kind of loss again. He steeled himself.
“You sir, are a blackguard.” She turned back and stared at him.
He almost laughed at that.
“You smirk?” She took a step closer.
She was a full head shorter, but the woman had spit and fire in those blue eyes.
“I do not. You accuse me of an untruth Mrs. Lovell. Shall I say I have fathered a child when I have not?”
Rose had had enough. Besides that she was too tired and could not think clearly. “I leave you sir to do your duty, whatever that may be.”
Captain Wyatt watched her walk away, but he saw her shoulders shake just as she shot into her husband’s office and shut the door. Hard. Hat in hands, he started to put it on and leave, yet figured he’d best go above stairs and see to Matilda Jane.
“Captain Wyatt.” Portia greeted him quietly. “You be here to see the chile?”
“I am here to see Miss Matilda Jane. May I go up?”
“Mrs. Lovell ain’t around?” She said. “How’d you come in?”
“We have spoken, Miss Portia.”
“You have? Where she at?”
Captain Wyatt lifted his hat and pointed to the office with it.
“I see. Well, I gonna go up and see if Miss Matilda Jane want to receive you sir. Wait here.”
“Yes ma’am.”
While he waited his eyes traveled. He passed by the desk and saw his name on a paper and leaned over to read it. She was writing to him when he walked up to the door, else she would have hidden it. He had caught her in the midst of her righteous anger.
He moved away and looked out at the river across the way. She was so sure of his sin, she had written the letter hoping he would confess and do his duty. He only wished it would have been that easy.
This town was not a place where he felt free. Mr. Lovell had offered him the office of Captain to the Emerald Star and he now had ready cash. He had been pushed and shoved out of society by the very ones whom he now had to do business with. Mr. Dalton was the last man he wanted to have any dealings with but because of his promise to Captain Lovell, he was forced. Well he didn’t have to live here.
As soon as he was certain Mrs. Lovell was taken care of…that there were no concerns at the bank or otherwise, he was going to load up the Emerald Star and make his home in London. There was only trouble for him here. Right now the situation with Matilda Jane must be handled.
“She ready.” Portia called from the top of the stairs.
As he started up, he heard soft sobbing from the office. He wished he could go to her, but he could not. He took the stairs two at a time.
Portia led the way and he followed and found himself alone with Matilda Jane. “May I come in?”
“Yes.”
He noticed she sat up in the bed. Her face was red and splotchy.
“The babe was a girl, then?”
“Yes, but I don’t want her.”
“You don’t want her?” Captain Wyatt took a step forward. “What do you mean?”
“I want to go back to the Orphanage. I was safe there, until…”
“May I sit down?” he said gently and waited for her answer.
“Yes.”
“Tell me what you are thinking Matilda Jane.”
He waited patiently, looking away and back again, noting her lips were quivering and her face showing deep anguish.
“I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?” She mumbled blowing her nose into a handkerchief.
“Yes. You deserve that.”
“I don’t want to grow up. I want to go back. I want to finish learning to play the piano and talk like the French do. I know I can do it. But I won’t be able to go back with a baby. And I don’t want her to grow up there. Not like me.”
“I understand. Would you like me to make arrangements for someone to keep her? Perhaps until you are above your age now?”
“No. I want her to go to Miz Rose. She loves her. I can see it. And when it was born she took it right off and wrapped it up and rocked it. I want her to have it.”
Captain Wyatt noted she called the child ‘it’. The girl had already decided. And he didn’t blame her.
“I’ll see what I can do. Shall we draw up papers?”
“Oh…oh yes…” she started sobbing. “I didn’t know how to say it…I’m sorry…really sorry…but…”
“You don’t have to explain. I understand. I’ll take care of it. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, yes I do Captain Wyatt. If it wasn’t for you . . . I don’t know . . .”
He remembered stumbling upon them in an alley, his sister’s husband forcing the girl to get rid of the child. He had her by the arm dragging her along, Ashton knew to someone who would do the deed and hide Theodore Madison McGuire’s sin. He pushed the scene from his mind.
“What’s done is done. It can’t be undone. You are free to go out from here and do all those things you want to do. Will you give me your word you will keep yourself busy and make something of yourself?”
“I give you my word, sir. I do.”
“Do not get your hopes high. Wait until I speak to Mrs. Lovell. If she refuses, I will find someone to take your child. If I cannot, I will take her myself.”
Ashton Wyatt could have bit his tongue off. Why in the world did he utter those words. He had no wife…no one to care for the child. But they were out and he could not take them back any more than she could take back what had been done to her. He pressed his lips tight and prayed Mrs. Lovell would help.
“Make no comments to anyone. I will work this out and let you know. He stood, took the girls offered hand and left her to fulfill the promise he had just made.
He descended the stairs and knew Portia would be watching for him to come down. “Miss Portia, please tell Mrs. Lovell I shall call on her one week from today at the hour of 2:00. Please give her my regards and tell her it is of the utmost importance.
“I shall sir.”
Captain Wyatt left this same house years ago making two vows to himself. The first never to enter it again, the second that he would never marry. He had lost the one true love of his life. And she had lived here while they courted. Most of his life had worked that way. Why should things be any different now?
Chapter 44
Rose had cried her eyes out. And once it started she couldn’t stop. For the losses; of her young life, her parents, and her husband. She had never really grieved them. Only stood tall and strong like her mother had taught her. Now she lay across the love seat and felt like a rag doll. She had cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, thinking about Matilda Jane and her baby. What would become of the little lass?
Portia had called to her from outside the door and left when Rose asked to be alone.
Now it was dusk, the house quiet. She hadn’t even thought to get up to see if the tiny infant was eating and felt ashamed at her selfis
hness. When she was ready, she dipped her hanky in the wash bowl and freshened her face, then opened the door slowly. The gas lights were being lit; she could see the street come alive post by post.
She needed tea and walked on weak knees to get some. The cup rattled loudly in the saucer. The last few days had broken her strong will. First the hard birthing, then Matilda Jane refusing to feed her child, then worry that the child may die and Captain Wyatt would be…broken hearted. But she remembered he had told her he was not the father. Were such things done like that here? Did fathers deny their own children? Should she believe him? She knew he possessed a brusqueness about him but would he go that far? Had her husband been uninformed of his true character. Had he perhaps even now fooled everyone. But no, her husband had trusted him. Captain Lovell was not the kind of man to harbor judgment, but neither would he have put his wife, his business, nor the carrying out of his fortune in the hands of a man who was less than upstanding. That she knew.
Oh her mind was mush. She couldn’t make tips nor tops of all that dashed around in her head. She gulped down her tea very unladylike, poured a second and gulped that down and went up to bed. All she wanted was to be in her soft nightclothes and cuddle deep into the goose feathered mattress and sleep. She trusted Portia and Lily were looking after the babe, for she heard no crying, and besides that her head ached. She would be useless to anyone just now.
Rose awoke late the next morning with a scratchy throat and a headache the size of the mighty Mississippi. She turned over and over, trying to find a comfortable position, threw a cover over her eyes to block out the sun and tried to sleep. It would not come. Slowly, she pulled herself to her feet and feeling faint, sat back down again.
“You up, Miz Rose?” I heard them little feet on the floorboards squeaking like always.”
“I’m awake. Come in Portia.”
“Heaven’s above you be lookin’ like you done seen a ghost. Your face all red and splotchy like you fell into the berry patch.” She chuckled.
“Oh Portia, you find something funny in the simplest of things I declare. I have such a headache. I cried my eyes out last night until my head hurt.”
“I done hears ya chile. You needed ‘dat, dat’s for shore. You been holdin’ up like ‘at since you was same age as Matilda Jane in there. ‘Bout time you got some cryin’ done. You and Matilda Jane got it all out at the same time…you did.”
“Oh here I am talking about myself. How is the infant? Did she stop crying? Did she eat anything at all?”
“Chile, slow down. You ast so many questions, I don’t know which one to answer first!”
Rose smiled and quieted herself, sitting up against the pillows holding her head.
“Here take some tea. I put herbs in there that should help the headache.”
Rose sipped.
“Now first the child suckled that goat milk down like it was her mama’s. That little tiny thing didn’t wake up onct during the night. Me and Lily done slept all night long.”
“I’m so happy about that.”
“I sees you relieved. Now when you feelin’ better you come on down, I gets you somthin’ to eat and you can feed that little thing yo’self. She a mighty purty little thing.”
“Yes she is.” Rose agreed and drew a long sip from her cup.“Now I’s got to go see to Miz Matilda Jane. She feeling much better, too knowing the baby is fine. She done stopped crying right after Captain Wyatt left here.
“What? Captain Wyatt went up to see her?”
“Shore did and she ain’t cried since.”
Rose pondered the thought but it worsened her headache to think about all that had transpired between her and Captain Wyatt last night. She still didn’t know whether to believe he had fathered Matilda Jane’s child. Heaven knew the infant’s dark hair was as black as his.
She scolded herself for thinking such things and tried to stand.
“Oh, and Miz Rose I nearly done forgot in all this mess. Captain Wyatt said he coming back in one week at 2 o’ the afternoon. He want to see you then. Said it was ‘mportant.”
“He’s coming back?” She figured in her head. She must work very hard at getting rid of her headache and bringing some sense back into her overworked brain.
She was sure she and Captain Wyatt had much to discuss. Since he went up to Matilda Jane’s room he may want to confess and make things right. She forced herself to remember he had just stepped off from his long journey and may have been a bit overwrought and not in his right mind either when he denied her accusations. She would prepare herself.
“Go on down and get your b’fast.” Portia called to her and then went to tend to Matilda Jane.
“I will. I’m feeling better now after the tea. My head is not quite so dizzy either.”
“See to yourself first and go on and rock that baby. Lily and Thomas going to be busy today. We got to be gettin’ that pig butchered and hung up in the smoke house afore summer gets any hotter.”
Chapter 45
Rose tried her best to prepare herself. She ate heartily the day after Captain Wyatt’s visit and learned how to feed the infant, still unnamed, with a tiny wooden spoon Emmanuel had carved out of a small branch. She dipped the tiny spoon and touched the little lips that opened for milk. It was like watching a bird feeding her young. Rose learned how to pin a snug diaper, too and to pat the baby to sleep across her knees.
The time flew, there was so much care with the new little person in the house. Thankfully, there had been no callers.
* * *
Captain Wyatt made himself scarce around Charleston. He did not go to his regular hangouts, although he could have. Most of the high-class people he avoided never went to those sorts of places. He had recently taken a room in town from an elderly widow who rented rooms in her large house to shipmen usually, was an excellent cook and kept their places while they crossed the Atlantic back and forth.
Ashton made his way upstairs to his private room, glad to be safely across once more. At the previous crossing he had wondered if the Emerald Star or the Ireland Rose would make it into port, so bad the weather had been. Hurricane-like in it’s vengeance out at sea. Mr. Paxton Quinn, the new Captain of the Ireland Rose, quickly decided he was not the man for the job. Ashton convinced him to go over one more time; the weather was so mild during the second crossing, thankfully the man decided to keep his position. Since he was the father of six children he needed the income and on the other hand, he had said, his wife and six children without a husband or father was worse.
Tossing his coat off and crashing onto the single bedstead on his back, he considered his options. He had only three days before he was going back across, with a small crew, carrying a special shipment of cotton. His men were almost finished hefting the cargo on board. The light load would make easy sailing and if the cotton was delivered to the London mills on time, he stood to make a bundle of cash. Perhaps then he could rent a large flat and spend the hot months in England instead of the States. He had come back to Charleston because of his sister. And that was the only reason.
Hands beneath his head, he kicked off his shoes and shut his eyes. It seemed he could not get away from the past and the demons that haunted him. And it had been years. Why had he let himself drink to oblivion. It nearly cost him his job with Captain Lovell. But the good man told him someone had given him a chance and he would do the same. That, if he controlled his drinking, he would appoint him Captain of the Emerald Star. Ashton knew, that Captain Lovell had gone one step further offering to pay him well if he would help build the Ireland Rose which would provide partial compensation to buy the Emerald Star outright.
He had done it and succeeded. The first time in his life he had put down the bottle. That and the fact that Captain Lovell knew he and Ava had come from the Newgate Orphanage and still he believed in him.
Even with this new life, every now and again, he did have a drink or two more than he should have, he had managed to stay clear of the taverns where his old
friends would buy him drink after drink just to have the companionship.
Now he had choices. And he was up against a big one this time. He had to find a place for this child now that Miranda Jane had refused to raise it. He didn’t blame her at all. But Mrs. Lovell could not take an infant without a husband. She would be shunned by society especially now that she had no husband to protect her interests.
The townswomen would be asking where the child came from. Did Mrs. Lovell have a lover and so soon after her good husband’s death. There would be questions about the father. He knew they would be tut-tutting in their little gossip circles, ruining people’s lives because they had nothing else to do.
If he were to ask Mrs. Lovell if she might keep it while he secretly supported the child, how would that look? Even worse. He’d ruin her. What could he do? A thought flashed through his mind. He could marry her and stop all the talk, saying the child came from the orphanage, which it did. He could see she loved the child else she would not have cried in his presence. Who would know it was a marriage of convenience. He had created the problem by taking Matilda Jane to her home in the first place. And she had done her duty and taken care of both mother and child in his absence.
He tossed that thought out with a groan. First of all Ireland Rose reminded him of his lost love, had since the day he laid eyes on her. Second, how would she fare with him staying in London and her and the child in Charleston. People would talk.
He sat up, threw his legs over the side of the bed and ran both hands through his hair. Then thought that if he was in London, she would be free to live her own life, under his protection in name only. And the child would have a home. Would she agree to that?
It seemed to make sense until he remembered the vow he made to himself never to marry. If he did marry it would be to keep that innocent child from going to Newgate.
All the problems would be solved, all the secrets exposed. Except one. Which would never pass his lips as long as he drew breath.
Tossing himself on his back again, he ditched the idea. No way could he be married to someone. He was too free and did not want to answer to a woman, least of all one as young, kind and sensitive as Mrs. Lovell. No. He would only hurt her.