Which brought him back to the original problem. What would he do with the child? He was a man and could not – would not toss his problem in Mrs. Lovell’s lap. That was not the man he had become. And he had given Captain Lovell his word he would watch out for her.
He heard the dinner bell. Struggling, he sat up, put his shoes on and went down to the dining room that was abuzz with deep voices. Several shipments must have just come in. He caught up on the news from all along the coast. Talk of pirates and troubled crossings and prices of goods took him away from his present difficulties.
Chapter 46
Ireland Rose leapt from her bed and dashed to the cradle in her room. She had slept all night, the babe had not woke once. She touched her to be sure she was breathing and sighed with relief.
Quick, she fit herself into an old dress. She’d learned that babies spit up their milk and stained her good gowns until Portia had to scrub them clean. In a moment she had changed a very wet diaper and tossed it in the water bucket, then put a fresh gown on the squirming body.
“What a lass you are. Look. Wide awake and not a tear in your eye. My but you are a happy little one. We must find a name for you.” She cuddled the babe as she spoke. “Now down for breakfast. Surely you must be hungry as an ox.”
With her burden in her arms, Rose stepped carefully and made her way down to the kitchen where Portia and Lily both had a turn at holding her while Rose dipped a bowl of milk and retrieved the miniature spoon. She dipped then filled the little hungry mouth.
“That be good, Miz Rose. Her stomach is no bigger than this…” she made a circle with her fingers hardly the size of a walnut.
“Really, it’s that small. Do you think I’ve overfed her?” Rose looked to Portia.
“No. You’s did it just right. We gonna get that pig cut up and hung in the smoke house today. Emmanuel got the butcherin’ done already and we cain’t waste ‘dat good meat. Lily and Thomas be helpin’ too. You think you can take care o’that little thing until we get done? Might take all day, chile.”
“I can. We’ll sit on the porch between her naps. The winds are favorable today. She’ll enjoy rocking in the swing.”
Portia paused and with a look…
“Do you think it unwise to take her outdoors? Is it too soon?” Rose worried.
“No…no…nothin’ like dat. I just be thinking what’ll people say if you got yoself a little baby out there like dat for all o’Charleston to see. That’s what I be thinkin’.”
“Oh.” Rose said
“Aw, now don’t let your heart sink down. I’s don’t mean no harm. Just thinkin’, that’s all.”
“You’re right, Portia. I didn’t think of it. Rose carried the infant to the back gardens. “We’ll sit out here in the shade, where no one can see us. At least for a time until the sun comes up over the house.”
“Dat’s a good idee.” Portia said. “Mind we gonna be gone the whole day down at the butcherin’ shop. What’re you gonna do if you need us?”
“I have Matilda Jane here and she’s getting around well now. If there is a difficulty I’ll leave the baby with her and come for you. We’ll be all right, though I’m sure of it.”
“All right den.”
Rose saw worry in the brown eyes. “Don’t think a thing. You’ll be back before we know it.”
“You ‘member Captain Wyatt comin’ at 2:00 dis afternoon doncha?”
“Oh my, I had forgotten.” Rose exclaimed and after a moment, “I’ll just make sure she’s ready for a nap and she’ll sleep right through our visit. I’m sure Captain Wyatt means only to discuss business.”
Portia gazed at Ireland Rose and knew that girl’s heart had already become attached, just like she her mama. She whispered to her husband.
“Hmmm…mmmmm.” Emmanuel agreed.
“Ain’t nothin’ can be done about it neither.” She wagged her head. “Matilda Jane wants to be free and Miss Ireland Rose, she want ‘dat baby. Lord have mercy.”
* * *
Rose pulled out a small tub and gave the baby a bath. She watched Portia give her the first one…she was already a week old…and dressed her. While she was humming to her, she made it a point to think about asking the girls at Newgate to stitch some little bonnets and dresses to match, for when she grew a bit older. Light weight gowns made of Charleston-grown cotton were perfect. Rose dabbed the fresh lavender scented water over her after she was clean, wrapped her in a cloth and carried her upstairs to be dressed. She hadn’t thought to bring down extra clothes.
“Would you like to see her Matilda Jane?” Rose called as she came down the hall.
“No, Miss Rose. I’m busy writing out my French lessons. Lily is going to take them to my teacher when she comes back this afternoon.”
“All right then.” Rose answered quickly and laid her bundle on the bed and changed her clothes. She couldn’t fathom a mother not wanting to see her child. But it just gave her more time with the little lass. Humming as she worked, she watched the baby’s eyelids become heavy. Perhaps a bath had done the same as it did for her -- made her sleepy. She laid her down and covered her lightly, turning the cradle away from the sunny windows.
Downstairs she flew like a flash and made sure there was enough milk for the day. Lily had left the little bowl in the ice box. Satisfied, she busied herself washing out the diapers and hanging them across a short line draped between two trees. They would need more square cotton cloths for diapers too. When she was finished, she ran to the desk and started a list of clothing and incidentals they would need. She saw the letter, half written to Captain Wyatt and groaned. It was in full sight. But she had no notion if he had seen it or not. She had rushed off to the office for a good cry. She wadded the paper up and tossed it aside.
First of all they needed a name. Rose began to make a list. Jane after her mother. Beatrice. Josephina. She must go up and ask Matilda Jane. She stood, lifted her skirts and dashed up, first stopping to see the babe still asleep.
“May I come in?” Rose asked at the door, seeing the young girl was busy at her desk writing her papers.
“Yes. My hand is quite tired, but I am learning so much.”
“I see. French then?”
“Yes, I love the language.” She spoke a sentence in French.
“How lovely it sounds coming off your tongue, Matilda Jane.
“Thank you Miss Rose. I can’t wait to go back. My teacher promised I could take German if I learned French well enough. She said I was gifted.”
“You are indeed.” Rose agreed.
Matilda Jane stared at her for a few seconds and waited.
“I have come up to ask what you would like to name the lass. She must have a name.”
“I don’t care. She’s not mine. You name her, Miss Rose. I don’t mind at all.”
And Matilda Jane went back to her writing with a smile.
“Are you sure? You are her mother.”
“You are her mother. I will sign papers saying so.” The girl spoke like an adult.
“It has only been seven days, we will wait until you are sure. Meantime I will choose a name if you give me leave.”
“I give you leave. Now I really must finish. Lily will be taking my work to the teacher, if I am finished…” she hinted.
Rose stood and left the girl to her work.
Chapter 47
Rose processed Matilda Jane’s decision to let her name the child and went back downstairs to her desk. She must choose a name. The perfect name. She scribbled several more ideas. Amanda, Hannah, perhaps Natasha…but nothing seemed right. The pen at her cheek, she mused.
“Carolina Jane.” Rose burst out. Her place of birth and her mother’s name. She would always know where she came from and who her mother was. That was it.
Carolina Jane she repeated.
The door knocker sounded. “Captain Wyatt.” she whispered. “Oh dear.”
There was nothing to do but answer, she smoothed her skirts and groaned as she qui
ckly tucked loose strands of hair away from her face.
“Captain Wyatt. I am afraid I have not noticed the time. Please come in. I will go above stairs and make myself presentable.”
She felt her already hot face warm even more when she noticed he was dressed, not in his normal attire, but a pair of tan breeches and a navy blazer. She also noted, his hair was shorter. Still tied in back but not as long. She backed away knowing her skirt must look awful, wrinkled and feared she may not have put on enough underskirts so that he may be able to, in the sunlight, see right through.
Captain Wyatt smiled as she backed away and dashed up the stairs without ever once looking back. He hung his new hat on the peg and wandered about. She had been writing again. Hands behind his back, he leaned over the desk. This time there were scribbled names. Female names and one circled. Carolina Jane. He said it out loud and liked the sound of it. So the lass was named, he guessed.
He took the bench seat there in the foyer and bowed his head, closed his eyes to think. After a minute he leaned forward elbows on his knees, eyes staring at the marbled tiles. Then stood and paced. The space seemed too small and there was little air circulation. He pulled at his collar, wishing he’d be through with it. He had papers to prepare. The ship was loaded and now needed only a small crew. He was anxious to get out on the waters.
Rose quickly changed as she peeked at the sleeping baby. “Pray you stay asleep a little longer. We know when you are hungry you make very much noise.” She whispered, smoothed her skirts and hoped her wayward curls did not look too mussed. Portia was not here to manage her unruly hair.
“Mrs. Lovell,” he met her at the bottom of the stairs. “Shall we go into your husband’s office?”
“If you wish…” perhaps there were papers to sign.
She walked in and her stomach did a flipflop. Her drawings and paint supplies lay about just where she’d left them.
“Oh dear, I’m afraid….”
“What are these?” He picked one up and held at arm’s length, then turned so the light would show it better. “You use water colors?”
“Yes. But I’m afraid they are just juvenile works…” she tried to snatch the painting but he moved it out of reach.
“No, these are good. This is Mrs. Shevington’s place, if I am not mistaken is it not?”
“It is.” She tried to whisk them out of his hands but he held them away. “Come Captain Wyatt, I’m sure we have other business. We will use the living room. The sun is not on that side of the house.” She hurried out and led him away to the front room.
He followed, but slowly she noted. “Here take this seat.” She offered.
“Ladies first.” He gestured with his hand and waited until she was seated and then sat.
“You have papers you wish signed?”
“Are you in a hurry today Mrs. Lovell. You seem a bit overwhelmed.”
Sure he was remembering her behavior of last time when she ran to the office and shut him out, she lifted her chin and kept her shaky hands in her lap. “I am quite at ease sir. Please state your business.”
The next instant he was on his feet. He could not think sitting down. “Mrs. Lovell, I have already informed you I am not the child’s father.”
“Her name is Carolina Jane. I have just gotten permission from Matilda Jane.”
“I like it.” He shoved his hands through his hair. “Now that is taken care of, we must decide what we will do with her. I have spoken to Matilda Jane and she wants to return to the orphanage. She has a teacher she admires. And if she learns French she may be able to travel to France a year hence.”
“But how could she ever afford such a venture?” Rose stood. The man did not stay in one place and she could not abide carrying on a conversation without being able to read his eyes.
“I have seen to it.” He said quickly and spoke again before she could interrupt him. “Mrs. Lovell, as I said we need to rectify this very unfortunate situation and I am at the present suggesting we marry and give the child a home so that she does not have to be returned to the orphanage.”
Rose stared at his back, for again he had moved to the window. Did he say marry?
“Whatever made you think . . .”
“What?” He turned.
Dark eyes bore into hers as he said, “I am well aware I am not of equal caliber as your former husband, Mrs. Lovell. I, too, admired him. And I do not wish to compare myself to him. All I am saying is I would take the position of the child’s father and your husband only to look out after the two of you. You cannot stay in Charleston and raise a child alone without being eaten alive by the locals.”
“You are angry without cause, sir.” She said quietly. “I did not mean to compare you to my husband. It would be unkind. “I only meant to say you do not have to sacrifice your life to save mine. Or Carolina Jane’s.”
“You misunderstand me Mrs. Lovell. It would not be a sacrifice…”
“Captain Wyatt I remember you expressed to me once you would never marry. And since the first time I met you, I sensed you do not like me.”
“That is not true…you have no idea why I…I have not been kind.” He rammed his hands through his hair dislocating the band until his dark hair fell loose around his collar. He stuffed the band in a pocket to give himself a moment. The woman deserved the truth. There had been enough falseness. He was tired to death of it.
He took the chair opposite her so he could face her. Elbows on his knees, he leaned forward, his hands intertwined. “Mrs. Lovell, I am afraid you resemble the woman I wanted to marry when a young boy. She lived here in this house. Every time I walk through the door I see her here. And…” he paused, then pushed out the words, “she resembles you in coloring, height, and slender stature.”
He hung his head, his hair forming walls on each side, and waited for her response. At least it was out.
“So that was why you stared at me that first night. I thought you despised me and yet we had never met.”
He shook his head and sat up straight so she could see his face. “I did not despise you. Your presence, your looks brought back memories I had thought I forgot.”
“I see. That makes a great deal of sense. Should I have been in your circumstances, I would have felt the same.” Rose said quietly, knowing she had never been in that position. How would she have known what it felt like. She had yet to love anyone. Or be loved by anyone. Rose saw him release his breath, a sense of relief coming from his dark eyes.
“Thank you. I was not in a position to discuss such personal matters.” He stated.
“Of course, nor would I have wanted you to.”
“But now you . . . I . . . and Carolina Jane are in dire circumstances. The child needs a father, you need the child…”
“And you Captain Wyatt, what do you need?”
Up he went.
Rose felt his pain.
He was unused to expressing himself so frankly…and in the tight space. Once a man loved the sea, he could hardly be expected to reside in a small room with no air or wind at his back.
He didn’t answer for a very long time. Rose kept her seat and watched him pace in front of the two windows.
“I don’t know what I want. All I know is that this problem must be resolved and soon. I have gotten you into this position. And I will do my duty.”
“Your duty being?” She stood now and waited.
“I am offering to take you as my wife and Carolina Jane as my own daughter.”
Ireland Rose waited a decent amount of time before she answered.
“Sir, your offer is noble. I am humbled by it. But it would not solve any problems, it would only create more. You have stated that I remind you of your first love. And I have determined I will not marry in name only again. I will marry for love.”
Captain Wyatt turned and stared. “You mean you and Captain Lovell, were, were not …” he cleared his throat.
“We were not sir. Captain Lovell paid a debt and I gained protectio
n.”
Ashton Wyatt had hardly been a man without an answer, so used to ordering his shipmen around and handling problems, but in this moment, he could not think of a proper response.
The air hung thick around them.
“There you have it. And now you understand sir, that I cannot accept your offer.”
What in the world was he supposed to say to that?
“I see.” Was all he could think to say. His mind was reeling. He had thought it all out and it had landed right back in his lap. She had refused him. He should run out the door and be glad. Instead he walked to the peg in the foyer, took down his hat, turned it round and round and said, “Then I will be on my way. I will continue to look out for your affairs, Mrs. Lovell as I promised your husband. If you will allow me to see the child, I would appreciate that very much.”
“Of course.” She barely kept up with his long strides.
“You brought Matilda Jane to me and if you are the not the child’s father, then you know best. I will take the child and raise her as my own. And you, sir, will be free to go on as you were.”
He stood straighter, feeling dismissed.
“But I do request that papers be written so Carolina Jane will know who she is and where she comes from. But not yet. I must make sure Matilda Jane does not want to change her mind.”
“I will see to it.” He backed away, turned, donned his hat and let himself out.
He had just been refused after a proposal of marriage.
Rose heard the slam of the lightweight screen door and knew things between her and Captain Wyatt would never be the same again. They had stated their truths and set boundaries that could not be moved.
The sound of whimpering reached her ears and she lifted her dress and ran up to see to her little charge. Ireland Rose’s heart leapt as she looked into the cradle at her daughter.
Chapter 48
Stunned, Captain Wyatt left the house and automatically headed down to the tavern. Without a thought, he walked in took a seat on the stool at the bar and ordered a whiskey. He threw back his head and slugged it down. As it burned its way down his throat he realized what he had done.
Before he could get to the door, two of his old drinking buddies stopped him with crude comments, about his “coming up” in the world and looking very much like one o’the proper gentleman they laughed at every evening.