“I’ll explain later.” He said and finished eating, stabbing his food like it was alive.
Rose nodded and enjoyed her meal, for there was no conversation after that. She had learned that when a man didn’t want to talk, nothing short of a disaster was going to change his mind. At least in Captain Wyatt’s case.
It was completely dark outdoors. He wiped the carriage seats dry with a towel and helped her up, then drove the horses slowly. The night police were walking along lighting the gas lanterns. When they pulled up in front of her house on the Battery, he parked, brushed the horses and asked her to wait until he was finished. He walked her to the front door and just as she was going in he touched her arm.
“If you have time, I would like to explain what happened tonight.”
Rose turned back and knew he was uncomfortable asking her to stay. She hesitated and then decided. “I wouldn’t mind at all. It will keep my mind busy, so I won’t be thinking about leaving.”
“Well, then.” He indicated the swing and followed joining her on the seat. She was careful to sit as far away as possible.
He leaned forward elbows on his knees and hands folded under his chin.
She lifted her feet as the swing moved. The night noises were loud. Pesky insects were buzzing around their heads. She stood, untied the mosquito netting and let it fall around them and nearly laughed out loud when it caught on his boot. He tried to move but it clung, until he reached down with his big brown hands and released it.
The netting pooled around them keeping the worst of the bugs away. Otherwise they would have to go inside and he would pace again.
“I’m sorry about tonight.”
Rose nodded in understanding.
“I loved that woman one time.” Pause. “She and I were youngsters when I fell in love with her. And we secretly became betrothed. We were going to run away one night and get married, but her father interfered and she chose another man.”
Rose knew the story. The blue envelopes. Darby and W. But his name was Ashton…”
“I never forgave her. And to make it worse, her father is Mr. Dalton.”
“The one at the bank?” Rose’s voice rang out. He turned his face and his eyes met hers.
“Yes.”
“You mean you had to deal with him for me all this while?”
“One of the reasons I was not happy to be left with that duty. It had nothing to do with Captain Lovell or you…”
She felt her face warm knowing she had read those personal letters and looked away.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“Oh no…it’s just…just that I am sorry, that’s all.”
“Sorry for me? Sorry?” He repeated. “It should be her you are sorry for. She had the chance for love. What she has now is money and no love.”
Rose knew that pain. Money, no love.
“She married a man that is under her father’s thumb. He can’t make a move without permission. That was why I moved to London. I had to stay and do my duty for Captain Lovell, and I would do it again. Fortunately I had not seen her since that day twelve years ago…until today. I’ll have no reason to be here once you are settled in Ireland, except of course for my sister and now for CJ.”
Rose loved hearing him call her CJ, but it brought back all the hurt of knowing she had to leave.
When she thought back to Captain Wyatt’s proposal she had to ask. “So your proposal to me citing convenience was not for love then?” she teased him.
He turned his head and she saw the slightest smile come across his face. She was so accustomed to his snarl she smiled back.
“I didn’t want you to be a widow with a child. And I had caused you the trouble in the first place by bringing Matilda Jane to you.”
“I’m glad you did. It gave me something to do, someone to love. My life took a turn for the better that day.”
“But now look what my foolishness has caused.”
“Well you could have hardly avoided telling Ava. She would have broken hearted.” She said softly.
“I owe you an apology Mrs. Lovell. I am sorry for the way everything has turned out.”
“And I for you, Captain Wyatt that you lost the woman you loved.”
“Well, there it is said. And done as far as I am concerned. Shall we speak of other matters? There isn’t anything either of us can do to change the circumstances.” He concluded.
“Indeed.” She agreed and tipped her foot to the floor setting them swinging gently.
After about two minutes, he untangled the netting and released himself. It is late Mrs. Lovell and you need to be abed.”
He lifted the netting so she could get out and helped roll it back up and tie it in place. “Thank you sir for the carriage ride, for dinner, and for your honesty. All were refreshing. I was kept busy as were you.”
He tipped his hat and Rose heard his footsteps as she let herself in the door. She had seen another side of Captain Wyatt this evening.
Chapter 72
Rose spent the next day with her family in her former residence. She never thought to be back in Charleston and wandered around the house memorizing every room. Yet she longed for the smaller, cozy rooms of her cottage; for the views from her window of the bright green carpet as it rolled away, lifting then dipping with each hill. She missed the quietness, the slow, easy pace of the people there.
Crashing noises from the kitchen pulled her back to the present.
Portia and Lily were cooking her favorite meal. Rose felt like she was taking the last meal before her beheading as Queen of England. Then laughed at herself…such musings. Maybe she should take up the pen and write a story for every sketch she made. God knew she was going to need something she could throw her life into, now that she would no longer have CJ.
The smells coming from the kitchen and her sincere desire to not grow morose, sent her flying toward the fragrances. She was hungry and told Portia so.
“Chile it almost ready. We done made you yo favorite. Chicken with some o’ that good low country rice and string beans and the best lemon cake.”
Rose smiled. That was Captain Lovell’s favorite dish, but it didn’t matter. It all smelled so good, especially since she dreaded the awful knowledge she would once again be starved and miserable all the way back. Most likely even more since her grief would be added to the seasickness.
Emmanuel came and helped her and Portia into their chairs while Thomas held Lily’s for her. Rose’s eyes lit up.
Rose did not sit at the head. She chose a chair at the side. Emmanuel gave her a look and she fussed with the napkin in her lap. All of a sudden, each chair scooted back and they all stood. She looked around wondering…then did the same.
“We pray standing and holdin’ hands ever meal, Miz Rose.” He said with a smile. “Grateful for everthing we got.”
Rose nodded and took Emmanuel’s hand on her left, Lily’s on her right and then Lily took Thomas’ long arm that stretched across the table and Portia took Emmanuel’s.
“God we thank you for this home, we thank you for this food. Bless Miz Rose in her troubles, Lord, and in her good times. Thank you Lord for your blessin’s. Amen.”
Rose felt tears prick her eyes. It seemed she had spent a lot of time this last year crying and hoped those troubles Emmanuel talked about were over. She was only 21 yet had been a wife, widow, and mother. Now she was just a widow. Alone again. It was good her father and mother were not here to see it. She hoped, there was still time to make a good life.
She knew one thing, as she set the napkin across her lap. Her life just had to count for something.
Portia’s smile stretched from ear to ear. Rose gave her a glance. “What are you up to?” She set her fork down and gave her the eye.
“Nothin’ you just eat chile.”
A giggle escaped from Lily’s mouth. And from Thomas, a shy smile.
Rose looked at Emmanuel who was also in on whatever was going on. She ate but wondered what in
the world had them all atwitter.
After dessert, Thomas asked to be excused. Rose had almost forgot the earlier silliness when suddenly she saw a little puff of brown fur waddling into the dining room. Portia had excused herself and Rose was picking up dishes as usual.
Then they erupted, Portia standing in the kitchen doorway, her hand over her mouth in laughter, Emmanuel chuckling and Lily beside herself. Thomas stood to the side watching, a quiet smile on his face.
“What is this?” Rose exclaimed and bent down for the little puppy who was coming straight for her. “And who are you?” She picked it up and nuzzled it.
“Captain Wyatt done brought you a puppy. Said to tell you it cain’t make up for Carolina Jane but it was the best he could do.” Portia smiled, her hands on her hips, proud she had kept the secret. “We been a’feedin it all day. Captain Wyatt done tole us to wait until after dinner.”
Rose’s face felt warm.She buried her face in the soft fur and missed her beautiful little daughter even more. Still she had something soft and wriggling in her arms and that had to do for now.
“Oh dear.” Rose said aloud.
“What, somthin’ wrong?” Portia eyes grew large.
“I get seasick. Who’s going to take care of him?”
“Oh don’t you worry none. Captain done told us about ’dat and he said he’d keep the pup with him until you made it over.”
“Oh.” Rose sighed. “I guess he’s thought of everything.”
“He shore did. Acted like a little boy hisself bringing that pup over here dis mornin’.”
Rose smiled. The man had a tender spot after all.
Chapter 73
Rose spent the last night with Portia and her family sitting by a small fire out back in the gardens. The puppy was flopping around playfully.
“Chile you know Jesus see all ‘dis happening to ya.”
“I know.”
“We all got troubles.”
Rose looked up. “You’re right. I know there is a reason. But I’m afraid after having CJ for so long and thinking she was mine forever, I … well, I don’t know how to go on from here.”
“We aint’ got nuthin’ to do but go on til Jesus comes.” She said staring at the fire.
Emmanuel put another small log on and the flames jumped higher and sparks flew. Rose stared at the flames wondering how in the world she was going to find purpose and motivation to move forward.
“Dat little puppy over der’ll keep you company for a bit. And me and Emmanuel, we been a’prayin’ for you a man.”
Rose thanked them with her eyes.
“You could stay here and work in ‘dem orphanages like you did.”
“Oh Portia, I don’t think I could stay. Every time CJ saw me she’d want to come to me. And Ava would be hurt…it would be like tearing the child in two.”
“Yep, just like in the Bible.” Portia agreed. “It be gettin’ late Miz Rose, you better climb up dem stairs and get yoself in dat bed. He be coming at dawn.”
“Dawn?” She stood and shook the dust out of her skirts. “You’re right.”
“I be up early. Get you some breakfast. Captain Wyatt says he eat over at his place and for you to be ready. Lily’ll keep the puppy tonight so’s you can sleep and then he be all yours tomorrow. You best think of a name…” She stood
Rose gave Portia a hug and forced herself to climb the stairs. Tomorrow she would be gone and her little Carolina Jane would stay.
* * *
The next morning when all the goodbyes, handshakes and hugs had been delivered, Rose went out to the front swing, while Portia went flying out the back door with her apron covering her face. Lily followed in the same fashion. Thomas bid her goodbye and Emmanuel said, “Ain’t nowheres you can go Miz Rose and Him not see ya.” He pointed upward.
Rose nodded and tipped her foot, setting the swing going. Her heart was breaking but there was no place to put the broken pieces. So she rocked back and forth her eyes closed to the world.
A few minutes later she heard the wheels cranking their way closer and closer and then silence. Portia had a fear of watching someone off, she had said her goodbyes and gone to work. She wasn’t indifferent Rose knew, just couldn’t see someone she loved leave.
She heard the front door slam. “Here he be, Miz Rose.” Lily handed her the puppy.
She looked into the brown eyes and saw a great deal of sadness. “Have you named him Lily?”
When she nodded Rose asked the name.
“Nibbles.” She said.
“Nibbles?” Rose smiled.
“Yes, all he does is nibbles on my toes everwhere I am.”
“Well, then Nibbles it is.” She said forcing a smile, seeing clearly Lily didn’t want to part with him. She had a notion to leave the little puppy behind, but it was a gift from Captain Wyatt.
“I knows you need him, Miz Rose. More’n me. I know that.”
Rose stood still and caught Lily’s eyes. “Lily, you are a kind girl. I’ve watched you grow into a young lady. The first thing a person can tell about another is in their unselfish ways. I see that you.”
Lily smiled.
Rose could see her spirits had lifted. Which in turn lifted hers.
“I shall make it a point to come back sometime when you are grown and see how you and Thomas have done. Remember, too…if you and your family need anything, please write me won’t you?”
“Yea ma’am I will.”
The dog squiggling in her arms, Rose hugged Lily and then watched her walk into the house. She held herself erect and plunged into her duty.
Rose watched Captain Wyatt, in his shipmen’s clothes, come walking up with one of his crew.
“Good morning Mrs. Lovell.” He greeted and walked right past to her trunk. “We’ll load this up. That’s all you’ve got?”
“Yes.” Of course it was all she had. CJ’s trunk was staying and she’d had so little time to prepare for the trip over, she wondered at the man.
She had been careful to eat only toast and one cup of tea, dreading the awful journey to come. Rose knew what she had to do. After all she was a grown woman, a widow for goodness’ sake and weren’t there so many others out there worse off than she was?
At least that’s what she told herself when the crewman helped her up to her seat, handed the little dog up to her and then climbed in back. Captain Wyatt had already taken himself up to control the horses.
The clipclop of the hooves on the cobblestones reminded her of the carriages carrying the dead to the cemetery after the earthquake. Mrs. Riley and little Colleen among them. Wild thoughts flew through her head. Why had she, Ireland Rose Lovell not been one of them? Why was she here and they were not. She was a widow at the time. Mrs. Riley and Colleen had a husband and father. And now he was alone. Where was the justice in the world? Their family had been broken apart. So had hers.
Maybe God had turned his back for a minute.
Rose felt a fear climb over her body. She was leaving Charleston forever. Without her daughter. What good could God possibly make out of that? She swallowed hard, angry at herself for not trusting. For not being more faithful to what she knew was true. She was having trouble grasping truth right this minute.
Captain Wyatt sat stiff, looking straight ahead. The dog wriggled in her lap.
When they reached the wharf she was helped down again. Two men came running down the gangplank and snatched her trunk and hustled it up. She felt the anxiety. Something was amiss.
“Is there something wrong?” She turned to the Captain.
“Winds are averse this morning. We are late getting away.” He grumped.
Rose knew it was because of her. He didn’t have to say it. She left him to his work, grabbed her skirt and ran up the gangplank. Her resolve was gone. She clapped her hand over her mouth and ran below stairs. Now familiar with her quarters, she passed several people and flew into her room and slammed the door shut.
Chapter 74
Captain Wyat
t watched her run. She had clapped her hand over her mouth and with the little dog in her arms looked like a child running to her mother. And he died a little bit inside.
He’d spent a sleepless night. Weather reports had changed. One crewman had been caught stealing and had to be let go and one decided to join another ship.
But he knew the real cause for his misery.
Seeing Darby, hearing her voice, setting eyes on her after all these years had been his undoing. He had built a wall so strong against the hurt, he hardly knew how to knock it down now.
He’d run from the pain most of his life. And wondered why he spent so much time hating her and hating her father. In the few times he conducted business with Mr. Dalton there had been tension so strong in the room, he had had to keep his fists from punching the man in the face.
Mr. Dalton found out about their plans to marry and sent one of his spies to locate their secret hiding place. They were found out. All was lost.
As a young man he had waited out by the gate all night pacing up and down, careful to keep hidden behind the bushes. She had not come.
“Ready to sail Captain?” He heard his name being bellowed out.
“Aye, set her off.” He ordered the ship to her waters.
Once they were off and he was at the helm he could rest. At least his body could. He had to focus out ahead, watch for danger zones and try to forget that she was downstairs crying her eyes out. And he had been the one to hurt her. All because he had kept Theodore McGuire’s sins secret. And now regretted it.
Once they were on the way he began to perform mental list of checkpoints. The young boy assigned to the crow’s nest was new. He looked up and saw he was doing his job. Checked the compass. Checked the sails. Checked the skies. Everything was in order.
The next few hours were relatively calm sailing even though the crew was two men short.
His skin crawled as his thoughts returned to Darby…Darbinger Dalton, the girl he had loved, married to that twit of a man, Norbert Raleigh. Everyone knew he was one of the richest men in the Carolina’s thanks to his father’s tobacco business. But everyone also knew he was a mama’s boy straight from the bluebloods in England and could not make a decision if his life depended upon it. Raleigh’s father was rough, gruff and fearless. The Father’s only son, who was supposed to be groomed to run the business was nothing but a laughingstock to the bank employees where he worked. Somebody had embezzled his manhood. He actually felt sorry for the man.