Once when he’d had to go into his office, the squirrel of a man refused to give him a loan, stating that his ship did not have enough income to allow the loan. Ashton knew it was a lie but her husband also knew he was Darby’s first love. He was sure her father had told him to refuse the loan. Nobert Raleigh had a high position at that bank because his father had knuckled somebody. That he knew.
And Darby in her outlandish outfit. Feathers flying off her hat, jewels jangling at her wrists, makeup too thick stealing all the beauty she once possessed. Her voice grated on his nerves when he first heard it. She sounded like her husband . . . false-voiced. One look at her at the restaurant and he wanted to leave her standing there, but he could not. Mrs. Lovell would have been publicly embarrassed.
The cologne she wore. Ashton thought he would never forget the overly pungent scent. He shook the memory of it as he watched the sea birds flying and dipping in the air. He pulled fresh air deep into his lungs and settled himself to his work. He wondered how Rose was doing below. They were in calm waters, at least for now. He checked his navigation numbers on the map and satisfied, walked the deck. Passengers were standing at the rails enjoying the winds. The sun was just up and soft white clouds floated on air. They were still in warm waters. As they made their way North, things would get a bit pitchy. He hoped Mrs. Lovell was getting her rest now.
* * *
Below Ireland Rose kept to her bed, her face to the wall. She had pulled a light blanket over her head so she could sob into a pillow. The puppy whined and cried while she let all the hurt and pain flow. Then when she stopped hiccoughing and crying, the puppy slept in the crook near her belly. She had cried until there were no more tears. It couldn’t be helped. She had come this far in life and had never sobbed until it hurt the muscles in her stomach.
Much later, she turned, her eyes burning, her nose stuffed, her head beating like a drum. She opened an eye and saw through the porthole that it was dark. She felt her stomach roiling inside but as yet it was mild. Then a blue light lit the cabin. Lightning. A storm. She quickly disentangled the puppy and used the chamberpot, then spread an old paper and hoped the puppy knew what to do. She couldn’t imagine cleaning up after him and hurling at the same time. Her head swirled.
Dreading the next few days, she laid back down on her side, covering her eyes with her hand and tried to rest.
Not two hours later she woke to violent rolling. She grabbed the bucket and began heaving dry air. The puppy whined. He needed food. Somehow she would have to get off the bed, up those stairs and walk out there where the water was at eye level one second and then the sky at eye level the next. She didn’t know if she could make it. But she had to. The dog would be tossed around and there was no little box to keep him in. Captain Wyatt had forgotten to take him.
For more time than she meant to, she lay in the bunk, the storm continuing outside on the water. Finally, there was nothing to do but grab anything nearby and hang on for dear life. She first held on eyes wide open. If she closed them the room would be upside down. She waited until her eyes and stomach settled and picked up the pup and tied it into her apron.
She needed both hands to maneuver those stairs. Twice she fumbled and passed two other passengers that looked as sick as she did. Twice she gagged and finally when she was at the top of the stairs, she could smell fresh air. Rain hit her in the face the moment she was on deck and it actually felt good.
For a bit she would walk, then stop, get her bearings. One of the crewmen asked if she needed help. She nodded one hand over her mouth. He pulled her arm and led her to the sideboard where she had dry heaving again.
That’s how Captain Wyatt found her. His crewman holding her shoulders while she hung over. His steps quickened. “What seems to be the matter?” He grumped. The man had his hands on her.
“She needed help, sir.”
The crewman walked away, but not before Captain Wyatt barked an order at him.
When she finished, Captain Wyatt took her arm, pulled her next to him with a hand around her small waist and walked from post to post so she could hang on. The storm had almost passed but the waters were still agitating.
“Sit here.” He took her elbows and lowered her to the seat. “Stay there.”
“Wait.” She garbled as thunder rolled across the waters. She unwrapped the puppy from her apron. “He needs food and he’s so … so small he’ll get hurt.”
He took the furry little body and went below to his cabin. Found some food from the cook and set water and paper on the floor, then shut his door.
As he cleared the stairwell, he saw her zigzagging. She was going to smash her head or worse. He caught up with her and offered his arm. “You can stay in my cabin with the dog. I’ll find another place to sleep.”
Rose shook her head, but it made things worse. “I’d rather stay in my own place.”
“You’ve hardly got a voice. Do you want me to get the doctor?”
“No….no…I just want to…” She stopped wide-eyed.
“Hold on. Swallow. Look at me not at the water.
She did. He held her gaze.
He noted both her hands were holding tightly to objects nearby and her stance was wide, trying to keep her balance.
“I’m taking you below.” His voice was loud in her ear because he had leaned down to speak close to her head.
Before she could form a word he had lifted her slowly and she heard the clunk of each step as he carried her below. He let go of her legs and she slid to the floor, one arm stil around her waist, and opened the door.
He walked her to his bunk and helped her in. She still had a tight hold on his sleeve. “You’re safe. Storm’s slowing. We should be in calm waters soon.”
She turned on her side and he lay a blanket across her and made his way back up. Something in him nearly snapped when he’d seen his crewman taking advantage of the situation back there.
Chapter 75
Morning light was burning Rose’s eyes. She moaned and groaned trying to sit up. The puppy was asleep in a little box. She forced her eyes to focus and got down on hands and knees and crawled the short space, put the puppy in her lap and sat on the floor.
“Oh Nibbles I never want to cross the Atlantic again. I doubt I’d survive it. Her throat was dry and sore from too much activity. She hadn’t needed to use the bucket he’d placed by the bed. She actually felt her stomach had settled down. Glad for even a small reprieve there was time to peruse the cabin. A rain slicker hung on the wall, next to a pair of boots. There were no personal items about. Just a simple room.
Then she saw something shiny. She got up carefully and made her way. It was a necklace pinned to the wood walls. A beautiful one. It was hardly noticeable because it was behind his pillow which she had knocked aside as she tumbled out of his bunk.
The sun was shining at just the right angle making it sparkle. She fingered it and admired the beautiful work.
The door flew open and he found her looking at it. His dark eyes, sleepless from the looks of it, found hers.
“I happened to . . .”
“It doesn’t matter. Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Can you make it to your room or do you need assistance?”
His straightforward questions made her wonder what he was getting at.
“Yes, I believe I can.” She tried unsuccessfully to push her hair out of her face. She must look like a waif . . . and her clothes were wrinkled beyond smoothing.
“I need my bunk. Take the box for the dog and try to rest yourself. You look white and should probably get some sun and air up on deck.”
He began to remove his jacket. She scuttled to pick up the box, got to her feet with fair success and grabbed the door handle. “Thank you for…last night. Oh I almost forgot…” she laid the necklace over his palm.
Rose slipped through the door, box, puppy and herself and closed it, leaning against it for a moment. The quick movements reminded her brain
it was still not working correctly.
In a moment she grabbed the railing and made her way to the top. She took his advice and pulled fresh air into weak lungs. Thankfully the sun was behind clouds today, because the water was smooth as an ice skate pond and the day fair. She hung on, slowly closed her eyes and filled her lungs again.
Most of the people at the rails looked as mussed as she was. And sleepless eyes were beginning to look normal. Then there were others strolling arm in arm as though they were walking on the boardwalk near her house in Charleston.
It was time to wash up. She found water, cleaned out her bucket and refilled it with fresh water and sponged herself off. Her trunk was in her room. Someone must have brought it last night. Grateful, she fished through her things and found a cooler lightweight dress in brown. It would have to do. She didn’t much care. Pulling her hair down from its tangled mess, she brushed through it and rewound it enough to get by. Curly tendrils fell around her face.
There. So much better.
“Nibbles, we can only hope the rest of the voyage will be like this. I think I could make it if it were.” She smiled watching him eat. Once finished, she lifted him out of the box and let him waddle and play. An old handerchief tied to a long string made a toy. “You…” she picked up the puppy and hugged it….”are my new friend. When you grow we’re going to take long walks on the Irish hills, just the two of us.”
Her eyes filled. CJ would not be walking the hills with her as she had planned.
With most of her senses back, she thought about CJ, wondering how she was doing. Did she call Ava mama from her bed in the morning. Rose’s eyes spilled over. Then about Mr. Riley. Wondering how he was doing. If he was faring well at all. She chose to think about something else and thought about putting words to her water color sketches. Perhaps she could find a paper source and make a book. Send it to CJ telling her a little story. But then decided against it. That would cause division when Ava would have to explain who Rose was. She put that idea to rest. Perhaps she could work in Dublin with an orphanage there. She could teach drawing, water color painting.
Musing, she missed the call for dinner. The same crewman who helped her last night knocked on her door even as it stood open. “Sir.”
She saw him look her up and down and shivers ran up and down her arms, alerting her senses.
“Ma’am the dinner bell rung. Will you need assistance?”
“No sir, I will not.” Rose said firmly. “Thank you.”
She gave him her back, but instead of leaving, he stood watching her for a long minute and finally left. Rose thought it best to shut her door and mingle with others.
Chapter 76
Two days later strong winds whipped the sails and the ladies’ dresses. Rose made herself stay on deck, with quick trips below to check on Nibbles. The storm passed so quickly Rose gave a sigh of relief. She was actually doing better.
Twilight began to fall. The sails had done their duties well and now the winds were low. The ship rocked and glided along slower than usual. She was gazing at the stars and wondering how many people had crossed this vast body of water and how amazing it was that one could visit countries back and forth. She was anxious to see Haw and Elsa.
Something told her she was not alone and she glanced at several people next to her at the railing. And beyond them stood the crewman she did not like. He was looking her way. Rose made her way toward the front of the ship hoping to find Captain Wyatt. She felt safer near him and dared not go below.
When the Captain was in sight, she felt a tug on her arm. It was him. She pulled away. “Sir you are behaving in an ungentlemanly way. Please remove your hand from my arm.”
Rose was careful to speak in a low, firm manner. No one had ever made her feel this way before. Her heart raced a bit, but she could see Captain Wyatt and knew she could scream.
The man did and stepped back, putting both hands behind his back. “I meant only to steady you.” He said, his eyes never leaving her face. “You have beautiful hair.”
Rose put more distance between them, turned and walked away. By the time she got to her safe place, she was unnerved.
“What’s wrong?” Captain Wyatt asked her as soon as he turned. “Has he bothered you again?”
Rose’s eyes told him without saying a word.
“I’ll break….”
“Sir, he is pushy, but harmless, I believe.”
“Harmless? No man is harmless when there is a woman around. Let alone a beautiful woman.” He growled, his eyes concentrating ahead.
“Stay here.” He ordered and went below for a moment and returned. “Take this.” He handed her a small pistol.
“Whatever for?” Rose could not make herself touch the thing.
“In the event you need it. Use it.” He pushed it into her hand. “It’s already loaded. You have one shot.”
She wanted to throw it down, but worried it may go off.
“I cannot protect you everywhere on this ship, Mrs. Lovell. Do as I say.”
Rose pressed it into a hidden pocket of her dress and moved slightly closer to him.
“I’ll escort you to your room when you are ready. And I suggest it be soon.”
Now she was worried. If Captain Wyatt thought so, she must not be foolish.
“Then take me when you are ready. I’ll go in and put a stick of wood under the door handle.”
“Start on, I’ll join you in just a moment. The deck is beginning to clear of passengers. Ladies should not be above board at this hour.”
She looked around, and began walking slowly, her eyes scanning. About the time she was out of his sight she felt a hand grab her elbow. She started to scream and heard him say close to her ear. “Just walk with me. That’s all I ask.”
The next moment she felt the hand in the crook of her arm jerk her back. All of a sudden two men were fighting. She saw several men run and the young boy at the top of the crow’s next shimmied down and landed on the deck with a thud. They were surrounded. Captain Wyatt picked the guy up by the scruff of his neck and jerked the man’s face to his.
“I should throw you overboard. Feed you to the sharks.” He said through gritted teeth. “You touch another woman on this ship and I’ll see that you are tossed over. You understand that?”
The man nodded and started to say something and snapped his mouth closed. The crewmen stood ready, fists at their side to assist.
“Jacob lock him in the brig.”
Captain Wyatt tossed the man hard enough to cause him to stumble.
Rose watched thinking this was all a dream. She felt the gun in her pocket, pulled it out and handed it back to him. “I’m sorry for the trouble.”
“Keep it.” He ordered as long strides took him away. He shoved his hands through his hair, straightening his clothes as he went. “Take her down to her bunk, Will.” He ordered.
One of his crewmen stepped forward and indicated she should go ahead. He followed and made sure she was safely in her cabin.
Rose shut the door and wondered where the brig was located on the ship.
Chapter 77
Finally after nearly three weeks at sea…the winds had slowed enough to hinder their trip, Ireland Rose set foot on dry ground.
She never saw the crewman again.
The puppy had grown larger and she became accustomed to having him at her feet at night. She was thankful to be on home soil. This voyage had been so eventful she’d had little time to think about anything but getting home.
Captain Wyatt was busy and stayed to himself, assigning Will to watch out for her and the other ladies. It hadn’t just been her. Other ladies had reported the young man was equally brazen with several of them.
Captain Wyatt made the regular stop in London and then with a skeleton crew, sailed to Dublin. He had insisted. She had insisted otherwise, saying she could hire a driver to take her overland to County Clare.
So they sailed to Dublin and docked the ship. His men, all of them unmar
ried, a requirement for the job, she learned, went their way with instructions to meet back in a week’s time. She and Captain Wyatt set out with a small horse and carriage he rented from the livery stable.
He was distant and Rose wondered what she could have done. It seemed she was trouble for him at every turn. First assigned by her husband to handle her business affairs, having to deal with Mr. Dalton on her behalf, and now this. She needed to find a way to let him go.
Perhaps she could see how Captain Riley was doing these days. Relieve Captain Wyatt from his duty to her.
And…she mused, it seemed every man she came in contact with was a ship’s Captain. And she a fiercely unseaworthy woman.
Wondering as they drove along, the puppy asleep in the wagon, she realized they were getting closer to home. This had been a hard trip in many ways. Her heart hurt for the loss of CJ. Her stomach hurt from all the heaving. Her bottom hurt from bouncing on the hard wagon seat and on top of that she managed to ruin the hem of her dress from the muddy rain. She glanced at him, his long legs stretched out, elbows resting on his knees.
He caught her looking and she turned away, embarrassed to the roots of her hair.
“Are you all right, Mrs. Lovell.” He asked, face forward.
“I’m fine Captain Wyatt. Although it has been quite an adventure.”
“I want to apologize.” He started.
“For what?”
“Woman, don’t interrupt me.” He ordered.
She put her hands in her lap, but knew her chin lifted a level. He was forever bossing people around.
“I made a grave error and I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you.”
She watched as he ran his palm over his darkened chin, looking pretty ragged himself. “You already apologized.” She said quietly.“It’s somehow for the best.”
“Why would you say that?” He demanded.
“Because, sir, I sincerely believe that God does not do anything without purpose. Whether we see it or not, is immaterial. I have begun to look for it now. After having much and having little, I prefer to have little and joy, rather than much and menace.