Chapter 18
Dragonslayer?
"He is the Gateway Controller, Jake!" said a cultured voice. The voice seemed to come from all around the carriage.“And as for the Princess, what can one say? Never change dimensions when you are annoyed or upset! That is a Prime Rule. It would have certainly have helped if the Princess had read the Dimensional Travellers Guidebook properly. SuperSpeed reading may be impressive but if the reader fails to comprehend the material the exercise becomes ineffective! The Guidebook clearly states that you must be in a calm frame of mind when hopping dimensions!”
Alaric: 'It is the Gateway controller again! He must have opened a Gateway from the dragon’s quarters to this spot! But why?"
The Gateway Controller answered immediately. "Correct! I did open a Gateway under Section 311/2 A. Why? Because this very special dragon was pining! Pining away in his luxury lair! The reason? He is designed to fight for glory! With his riders! Without them he became desolate! He has hardly eaten a good meal in a week! In fact, he has not eaten since he arrived in this sub dimension. He is simply burning coal to keep his mind occupied! I opened a special Gateway so he would be close to the Gemini twins! To give the three of them a faint chance of getting together. I told the druids to search for you! You can locate his riders and get them to the dragon! Doubtless CLEO will give you points when you complete that task."
The voice chuckled in amusement.
"But how am I to locate these Gemini twins?" said Jake.
"Even a stand in elf should not baulk at such an easy task," said the Controller reprovingly.
"I am not an elf!" shouted Jake angrily.
"I said a stand in elf!," said the Controller. "You are a good stand in! Ready to be a penny banger? And you definitely have elvish ears! And you have managed to get lost once again…."
"Shilamabosco!" shouted Jake furiously. "I am not a stand iin Elf. I am an Earth lad! I have been kidnapped! I have lost my ears!"
"Shilambosco!" said Alaric, butting in. "You have remembered another Elvish word! It means: I have lost my marbles!"
"A fairly perfect description of his current condition!" said the Controller. "It appears that all members of your party are in a similar state! However, you must all get on with your current task. Locate the Gemini twins and help this worthy dragon!"
There was silence in the railway coach.
Outside, the dragon continued to sob fitfully, occasionally blaShivver out a jet of fire which blazed across the Welsh valley and caused l the hidden onlookers to immediately duck for cover.
Jake stuck his head out of the carriage window and shouted. "What about the acorns?" he cried.. "You may have lost your riders but this forest has lost many of its children!"
"I am very sorry to have destroyed acorns!" the dragon blubbered. "It was a reflex. When I suddenly found myself here I started hyperventilating and became incendiary! I started firing up the coal dumps and a few trees! And then I just couldn’t stop!"
He whimpered miserably.
"It is true!" said voice of the Controller. "I did not give him a briefing before translating him from his quarters in Pernod. I just felt sorry for him and shifted him here!"
Jake put his head back into the carriage and addressed Alaric and the druids. "Well, this certainly puts a different complexion on matters. It is a fact that I have nothing to do with this lost elf prince! I am merely a concerned human being caught up in all this! But I do believe that I should help the poor old thing. Then we can get back into the normal dimensions, travel to the Big Smoke and settle the matter of who I am once and for all! The fact I have someone else's ears is not conclonsive!"
CLEO immediately chimed in. "I assume you mean conclusive. I am no longer going to correct your spelling because you are beyond help! In any case, I am currently searching local Census records for the name Gemini. Oh, my goodness!"
The computer almost seemed to almost gasp.
"What have you found?" said Jake.
"I have found the Gemini twins! They are royalty! And they are imprisoned in the Black Tower! Imprisoned on the orders of King Winnie Bongo.. He has sentenced them both to death but he is afraid to promulgate the order in case he gets bad karma!"
Outside, the dragon suddenly perked up.
"Where is this Tower?" cried the dragon. "I will fly in and rescue my riders!"
The two druids, who had been sitting listening spoke.
"The Black Tower cannot be approached by air," they intoned together. "Because it is guarded by an ack ack gun which shoots down anything in flight! Thousands of birds have died simply attempting to fly over that deadly impregnable tower guarded by that horrible autmatic gun!! The Black Tower can be reached only by rail. The A23 road is closed due to shell holes and dead birds. The council workmen refuse to repair the road because of danger from falling shells. The Dragon Slayer and his Elf Lord must drive to the Tower in a steam engine! From the main line to Kardiff, they will take the branch line to the Black Tower through the Endless Tunnel. They will alight at Black Tower and proceed to climb the Death Path! But when they reach the summit they will find that the only way to gain entry to the prison is to kill the Undead Guardian and rescue the Gemini twins. The train is waiting!"
Jake, who had briefly recovered his nerve, once again fell into profound gloom. "I knew it!" he cried. "I must either fall off the Death Path or be slaughtered by the Undead Guardian! How can I kill a Guardian who is already dead?"
He turned to Alaric who was sitting white faced next to him.
Jake made a generous offer.
"Alaric, it is not necessary for you to accompany me and die as well!" he said. "Make your way back to Central Power! Take my pack! Use CLEO and the time machine and attempt to return to a proper dimension. Try to cop a few namers in my memory. There is no point in trying to retrieve the lost Stuff It cards. The Prince is lost! My own real home is beyond reach! Will I ever hear the sound of Bowed Balls (Bow Bells) again."
"Bowed Balls, Sire? What are they?" asked Alaric.
"They are bells which peal all over Undone, my old home, Alaric. Bowed Bells, (Bow Bells) located in Piccallily Circuits (Picadilly Circus.). But…I will never see my old Home again! I must now face my final doom!" said Jake miserably.
"The so called Death Path is not much of a problem," said CLEO suddenly. "There was a full set of builders plans in the Kardiff Library. My study of the old blueprints indicates that it is simply a stone staircase super cooled by a peculiar local weather condition. Because of a stationary downdraft fed by extremely cold air from the edge of space, the staircase is constantly encrusted with black ice! It is extremely slippery but by wearing mountain clothing, special boots with crampons and using a forward throwing climbers rope, you should be able to reach the top of the tower! This is where the Gemini twins are held,awaiting execution. I can provide mountaineering clothing, boots, two sets of crampons and an auJakeatic forward self attaching throwing rope. These items are being expanded from stores! However, the Undead Guardian may prove to be a more difficult problem. You might have been able to fell him using Shivver but he is protected by a Full Spectrum force field. If Shivver comes into contact with the force field it will short out. The field will then electrocute you via a lethal shock from your own sword! For the same reason, FIDO cannot do your fighting for you. He would almost certainly be shorted out and probably ruined forever via any contact between him and the Undead Guardian. In any case, FIDO cannot accompany you. He must stay here because if we are not successful he will have to report our demise to Central Power. FIDO must travel to a point where I hope he can re contact Central Power and report!"
Then Jake suddenly got a Big Idea.
"I can use my Gadder!" he said. "I can fire the Gadder at Maximum Penetration. I can stand back and shoot at this Undead bloke until he falls over. He may still be undead but while he is flat on his back we can scoot in. We can rele
ase the twins, get them back to the train and live happily ever after!
Note: Jake’s “Gadder” is an Central Power catapult normally carried by FIDO in miniturized form.. Jake has tried the Gadder a few times. It is an immensely powerful catapult.
Jake’s mind suddenly flashed back to his months as a convict in jail. If only he had not been such a fool wanting to escape! He should have been a model prisoner! A happy train spotter! He would still be enjoying three good meals a day plus two filling snacks if he had not been stupid.
His mouth watered at the thought of food. Somehow, CLEO seemed to be aware of his musings. Possibly the computer was monitoring his saliva output. "The Druids plan is to give you a huge feast if you are successful!" said CLEO.
This statement settled the matter. FIDO was instructed to break out the expansion unit along with crampons, the forward throwing self attaching climbing rope and the Gadder. FIDO laid out these items outside the train. Jake and Alaric both changed into climbing gear. They checked the crampons by climbing up the side of the trench, using the crampons to bite into the soft ground. The special rope proved to be a remarkable device. It was only necessary to instruct the rope to "attach to highest point." Jake tested the rope by throwing it towards an oak tree with the instruction: “attach to highest point.” The rope proved to be self propelled.
It zoomed up and anchored itself firmly to a point high up the tree trunk. The command: “Ease off!” then caused the rope to fall back and coil itself ready for the next job.
CLEO assured Jake that the rope would work in exactly the same way on a rock face. It would auJakeatically locate a crevice and form a firm belay. With crampons, auto rope and the Gadder, Jake felt reasonably well equipped to complete his mission and rescue the Geminis.
The Druids, the engine driver and the fireman had now left the train. They huddled in a trench, peering distrustfully over the edge at the weeping dragon. Jake and Alaric now took control of the engine, while FIDO piled their gear inside the carriage. The robot climbed into the carriage and slammed the door.. Jake closed the fire door and settled in the drivers seat with Alaric occupying the stokers seat. With the engine blowing off excess steam, Jake released the brake and wound up the regulator. The train began puffing up the line towards Kardiff.
The actual trip to the Black Tower proved brief and uneventful. They picked up speed rapidly, The train rounded a couple of curves and passed through a short tunnel. Apparently this was the so called “endless tunnel” which was presumably named by poetic license.
Finally, the track plunged into a cutting which immediately widened to incorporate a station Directly ahead, Jake saw a sign NO STOPPING PRISON AREA. A signal located at the far end of an overgrown platform cranked down instructing the train to proceed without stopping. Signs along the station platform announced: STATION CLOSED! NO STOPPING. STATION CLOSED. Jake ignored both the signal and the signs. He brought the engine to a stand in the middle of the platform and wound on the brake. The engine stopped directly outside a doorway marked The Black Tower. Behind the doorway they could see the tower itself, looming upwards, wreathed in tendrils of fog. The train stood hissing steam as Jake and Alaric both climbed down from the engine.
They started unloading their climbing gear
Jake suddenly recalled that he would need ammo for the Gadder. He climbed back into the engine, jumped down onto the track and collected a pocketful of pebbles. He climbed back onto the platform via the engine. He was immediately enveloped in a bitterly cold fog which crept down from the doorway opposite, Despite wearing insulated clothing both Alaric and Jake shivered. With chattering teeth, they collected the various items needed for the climb. Leaving FIDO to guard the train, they moved to a doorway at thCentral Power of the Black Tower.
Suddenly, Jake noticed an elevator on their right.
The elevator was marked: Black Tower, Authorized Personnel Only.
"We can use the elevator!" said Alaric happily. "We won't need to make a dangerous climb up hundreds of icy steps!" Before taking Alaric's advice, Jake put his head through the doorway and gazed upward. Black ice marked a series of steps marching towards the sky. The icy ascemt vanished from view as it climbed around a corner of the tower.
"This place is certainly well named," said Jake. "The Black Tower. It is indeed as black as an icy winters night on Oberon!"
"Sire, you have remembered another piece of Elvish lore!" said Alaric. "Oberon is a Central Power moon. Some winter nights it is horribly cold on the moon. Thus the phrase "Black as an icy winters night on Oberon!"
"Don't give me all that bull again!" said Jake. "It am not an Elf! I am an Earth lad and when I reach Undone and the Big Smoke you will meet my parents and friends! I will get my ABC back and that will give me a headstart on my Great Quest to Cop the Lot! That is a certainty! As certain as the fact that a ride in a lift is easier than a climb!"
He walked across to the elevator door and pressed a button. They waited as a whining noise announced the imminent arrival of a lift. Eventually, a door slid open and a well lit cage appeared. Jake threw in the coil of special climbing rope. He was about to throw in his rucksack and enter the lift himself when he froze in mid step. Looking down he could see only a gaping black void. The coil of rope had vanished! The elevator did not have a floor!
He could see only a black shaft diving downwards into the rock. Eventually, he heard a faint splash as the climbing rope reached the botJack of the shaft.
Jake stepped back carefully.
He addressed his rucksack,
"CLEO! Can I shout something to make the rope come back up?"
"Unfortunately the answer is negative," said CLEO/ "The rope has submerged in a subterranean lake 1000 meters below. It cannot be retrieved. You will have to climb without the rope. And by summoning the elevator you have already alerted the Undead Guardian that someone is trespassing. He is now alert and waiting for you at the top of the staircase. "
It might be assumed that Jake would immediately give up and run back to the train shouting that he wanted to go home to Undone. In fact, he gamely pulled on his crampons and attached the Gadder to his belt Then he indicated that he would lead the climb! Alaric strapped on his rucksack and donned his own crampons. He followed Jake onto the black ice which marked the first step of the staircase. In the dim light surrounding the tower, the elf glowed with a ghostly light. Below, through the roiling fog, they could see an immense rock face gleaming wet reaching down to a dark valley far below.
Jake started on the first step outside the doorway. Almost immediately he began helplessly windmilling as his feet found no purchase on the black ice. He was able to save himself from a fatal fall only by desperately digging in his crampons and managing to regain his balance.
"Get back!" he shouted. "We will have to find some other method of getting up!"
Alaric stepped back and Jake retreated, digging in his crampons as he inched his way backwards. Eventually, they were both back inside the doorway.
Jake now addressed CLEO.
"What should we do?" he said.
"It would probably be best if FIDO leads the ascent," said CLEO. "I have a short rope which you can attach yourselves to. In the event of a slip, FIDO may be able to belay you while you climb back to the steps. Alternatively, you may all fall and die as a roped up group! I will call FIDO."
The computer did not make any sound but FIDO immediately joined them. The robot had looped a climbing rope around his metal shoulders. He attached the rope to Jake's belt and then to Alaric's belt. Eventually, they were all roped up and FIDO led them out onto the staircase. The robot had changed his footwear into a pair of what looked like rubber boots. Long metal spikes stuck out from the soles. The robot appeared to be perfectly at ease on the forbidding staircase and the party started climbing. By digging in his crampons with a kind of kicking actIon, Jake found he could gain at least a semblance of a firm footing. They climbed
three complete turns of the staircase without incident and then Jake told FIDO to halt while he got his breath back. As they rested Jake asked CLEO "What will happen to FIDO when we reach the top?"
"He will be electrocuted!" said the computer. "I will also be electrocuted if the Undead Warrior manages to get close to you! What would be the greater loss? A brilliant robot or a world champion chess player!"
"What about me?" cried Jake, his teeth chattering in the bitter cold of the exposed tower steps. "Surely I would be the greater loss? You are both machines! I am a human who has had bad luck!"
"You cannot be regarded as a human being because you have Elvish ears," said the computer. "You are actually a convicted elvish criminal. You are attempting to atone for your evil past! Move on! Report: This intense cold threatens to freeze up FIDO's joints!"