“Don’t fall asleep!” said Alaric urgently.
He sJake Jake’s shoulder vigorously.
“We must send FIDO to see what’s on the other side!” he said.
Alaric then spoke sharply: “FIDO! Alert! Alert! Are you fully armed?”
FIDO suddenly reactivated himself. He was standing in the small space between the engine and the tender. He spoke: “I am lightly armed! I have two “Deep Throat” Mark 7 high explosive rocket pods. I have one submachine gun with 2500 incendiary rounds! I have three 5kg anti personnel mines!”
Jake reacted with amazement.
The robot was armed to the teeth!
Alaric said: “FIDO! Orders! Switch to Full Combat Mode! Approach the apparent Multiverse Railway entrance to the north of this engine. Enter that area! If you find people on the other side are wearing white robes and carrying flowers return to this engine via the gate after saluting them and saying Om! Peace! Om! However, if any entity, animal, robot or other lifeform attempts to molest you—resist with lethal force! Following any such action return to this train with utmost dispatch! You are authorized to use any weapon at your disposal!”
The robots eyes glowed, first yellow and then red as he switched to full combat mode. FIDO climbed down from the engine and strode towards the glowing station sign. He walked forward and vanished.
The sign continued to glow and the music continued to play.
Abruptly there was the sound of gunfire. followed by a string of explosions. The sign disappeared. The music stopped. Suddenly the fog vanished The cab phone rang.
”CLEO here! I would like to give a SITREP. FIDO has attacked a castle and retrieved a Central Powers Long Range Fog machine. He has turned it off and he is retreating back to this train. The Multiverse Railway Station sign on the north side of this train is an illusion. It is designed to lure you into an area directly controlled by a trainee wizard. He wants to enslave this entire party. Do not enter his false station!”
“I ordered FIDO to enter!” said Alaric.
CLEO: “It is unfortunate that FIDO should have been sent into such a dangerous area.The false sign should have been simply ignored.The real station is directly opposite on the other side of the train. It is operative!”
Alaric put down the phone and scampered across the cab. He peered out of the fireman’s side window. He returned to the phone and picked it up. “Yes, I can see the Multiverse Railway station sign. We will wait for FIDO to return and then enter! Tell the dwarves to get ready. Over and out!”
He replaced the phone in its socket. :
Faintly, the sounds of Bach Goes to Town came from the true Multiverse Railway Station on their right. But from the area on their left there now came the sounds of a frenzied full scale battle. Some distance below they could see a thickly wooded valley. Footpaths led down through a forest of pine trees covering the slopes. At the central part of the valley there was a grassed ravine. It led to a mount topped by what looked like an old fashioned turreted castle. A man with a white beard stood at the front wall of the castle. He was dressed in black, carrying a staff and wearing a conical hat emblazoned with s.
A group of trolls were firing a machine gun at some distand target.
And white beard was staring at them through a long tube.
“It’s a wierdo!” said Jake, amazed. “He’s all dolled up as a trainee wizard in a comical hat! He must be the main act at a birthday party! He is looking through a telescope.”
“It’s no party,” said Alaric, “He forced us to come here! But where is FIDO?”
He sounded anxious. Neither of them could see the robot. FIDO had vanished although the sounds of gunfire continued. Inside the castle yard the trainee wizard dropped the tube and beckoned urgently. After a few moments four new trolls appeared carrying a flat wooden box. Suddenly, Jake and Alaric saw a flash of golden metal moving up through the trees towards them.
Alaric: “Thank goodness! Here is FIDO, heading in our direction!”
The trainee wizard took something from the box and pushed it into a tripod launcher. There was a hissing sound as a rocket ignited and streaked towards the robot. The flight ended with an abrupt flash of light and a loud explosion as the rocket impacted squarely on FIDO. The robot seemed to stop in mid stride as if poleaxed. He stood wobbling for a full minute. Then he turned, picked something up and continued on his way. The trainee wizard loaded a second rocket. He fired. But this time,FIDO sidestepped at the last moment. The rocket exploded in the forest. Several trees toppled and a fire began to blaze on the hillside. The robot suddenly turned to face the castle. He appeared to project a long tube from his chest. He turned slowly, rocking backwards, seeming to adjust his stance.
There was a sudden blast of light and a whoosh.
“FIDO was annoyed! There goes a Mark 7 Deep Throat!” said Alaric.
Jake and Alaric watched as the rocket hissed towards the castle. It appeared to change flight upwards as it zoomed over the turreted walls. Finally, it It executed a perfect roll before diving and impacting onto the courtyard.
There was a massive boom!
The trainee wizard vanished in a vivid flash of orange light.
A cloud of yellow smoke obscured the scene. A few moments later FIDO appeared at the edge of the forest close to the engine. The robot was badly dented and covered in black soot. He was carrying one scorched arm in his other hand. There was a gaping hole in his shoulder where the damaged arm had been blown off. A festoon of wires showed through the hole. FIDO strode up the pathway from the forest, stopped next to the steam engine. He offered a small cylinder to Alaric and then said: “Mission accomplished! Orders?”
Alaric accepted the cylinder and then said: “Reassume normal mode, turn on the heating device, and then repair your damaged arm!”
The robots eyes immediately changed color, from an angry red to the more normal glowing yellow. He wedged his damaged arm into a gaping shoulder socket, which was still smoking. He moved back to the carriage climbed up and entered.His undamaged arm appeared and slammed the door shut.
Alaric: “Perhaps we can now leave this planet and go home!”
Jake and Alaric both moved over to the south side of the cab. But now there was no sign of the Multiverse Railway Station. It had vanished and the music had stopped. The phone rang.
Jake picked up the instrument.
CLEO: “I regret to report that the Multiverse Railway Station is no longer available for your use! Warlike activities in this vicinity have have triggered a safety alarm. The Guardian has removed the station for a full inspection. It will now be inoperable for approximately three thousandhundred years of this planets time. Our party must therefore move on and hope. You are advised to proceed to Granite station.You can stay overnight and water the engine.”
“Thank you,” said Jake. He replaced the phone receiver. He was not at all put out by the sudden disappearance of the station. He might get a new chance to escape. He would certainly get more experience of steam engine driving.. There was no rush to find a working station on this allien railway. If they did find one and goet to Elf land he would be unmasked as a fake prince! He would probably face a firing squad!”
AAs they were continuing the Journey he would be safe for a while.
He might even be able to do a bit of train spotting somewhere.
Alaric was examining the cylinder given to him by FIDO. “Central Power escape equipment,” he said. “Makes a massive fog bank …... he looked carefully under the regulator and pulled out a small silver disc: “Here is the reason we could not slow down,” he said, “That criminal must have installed this when he bartered with the blue morons. He had the engine under control the whole time with this LRC (long range control.)”
The elf put the cylinder and disc into his pocket.
“I will reset the heater.”
He used the fire bar to prise open the firebox and reset the heater. In a few minutes, with the reactivated heating unit again blasting out heat they had a h
ead of working steam. Jake cranked the reversing handle. Thirty-two turns were needed to put the engine into reverse gear. Jake released the brake and opened the regulator.
The engine began to clank slowly backwards pushing its carriage.
Below, one side of the valley was entirely covered in smoke. The castle was wreathed in blue smoke which still poured from the site of the impact. A number of trees on the margin of the valley had caught fire. The havoc below finally vanished as they backed down the line. The train emerged from the branch, backed onto the rusty main line and stopped some distance beyond the points.
The engine was hissing steam.
Jake applied the handbrake.
Alaric climbed down and inspected the points .
He picked up something before returning to the cab. He said: “That crazy so and so in the valley would not be a threat without our Central Power technology. He fixed clips to the points and opened them by remote control! Escape gear exchanged for tobacco by the convicted morons inside the carriage!That troll kid was wearing a troll outfit from a fancy dress store. His smell was caused by not washing for a few weeks or so! The “trolls” at the castle must also be hypnotised and in costume. He has a hypno device and he is using it to enslave the whole area. The rockets were probably stolen from an Army Base. That trainee wizard could be a problem! How many slaves has he got?”
Alaric switched the points back to the straight ahead setting He then climbed back into the cab and produced a large silver turnip watch from his pocket. He studied it. “Good heavens!” said the elf. “We have spent six hours in that fog.. We must make all speed to Granite.”
Jake released the handbrake and opened the steam regulator. The train began to accelerate down the rusty track.. Ahead they could see the light of a small town. They pressed on down a long straight. At a road crossing Alaric activated the I/I device and crossed cautiously after checking for road traffic. Shortly, they approached a station building marked Homewood. They were now close to a township and the road/rail crossing was busy with traffic. They sat waiting in the strange darkness and silence generated by the I/I device. Eventually, there was no traffic to be seen and the train inched forward.
Gates closed auJakeatically and they passed over the main road.
The gates reopened to traffic once they had passed.
With the township well behind Alaric switched off the device and the sound effects resumed. The engine puffed gouts of steam and roared angrily.
Wheels screamed on rusty rails.
Inside the carriage,the dwarves were playing Stuff It! This is a dwarvish card game. Dwarves are addicted to it. Little Sam was currently the owner of all his companions worldly goods. He was the clear winner. He was now being asked for two small loans, repayable at the usual 1000% an hour interest, so that his opponents, his very good friends might possibly recoup their losses.
The train rolled on through darkness. They chuffed through a short tunnel, grimy with black smoke. They emerged. A short distance ahead. they could see the street lights of another town. “Granite!” said Alaric. “It is almost dawn! With Your Elvish Majesty’s permission we will rest for the day and water the engine! Again he switched on the I/I device to ensure that their arrival would not be seen. Spitfire steamed invisibly and inaudibly into a small railway yard.
As Jake slowed the engine, Alaric jumped down and ran forward. As he left the area of the trains invisibility shield his body shone eerily in the waning moonlight. The elf pulled a lever, ran back and hoisted himself back into the cab. The engine cranked forward slowly and ran into a siding, hissing steam, moving into a space between two lines of tarpaulin covered carriages. They came to a halt against a set of buffers. Jake wound back the regulator and set the handbrake. Alaric switched off the I/I device. The locomotive sat gently steaming. However, with FIDO about to undergo arm surgery conducted by himself (under instructions from CLEO’s Master Robot Surgical program.) There was no robot available for the task of turning off the white hot fire bar. Alaric retrieved a pair of long tongs from the tender. He opened the firebox door. Shielding his eyes, he prodded around and managed to deactivate the white hot heating unit.
He replaced the tongs in the tender and closed the fire door. He climbed down from the cab. Jake and Alaric made their way down the side of the carriage, crunching over wet weed infested gravel. They opened a carriage door, climbed up and entered. As they went inside, both noted that the interior was again thick with blue baccy smoke. It was immediately apparent that Stumpy and Grumpy were in exceptionally bad moods. Both sat silent and scowling. “They’ve lost the lot!” said Little Sam.. “It was double or quits and it is definitely quits!”
Alaric checked his watch. He read the time and looked puzzled. “It is 5.30!” he said. He thought for a moment. “The I/I device!” he said. “It must set up an accelerated time cell. It is definitely quits for all of us! It is time to rest!!!”He left the I/I device on a shelf under CLEO’s control, instructing the computer to use it if anyone approached the train. Alaric then tucked himself into a blanket drawn over a leather seat.
Stumpy and Grumpy went to bed still grumbling. Little Sam took his winnings and hid them under his pillow while Jake lay down on his carriage seat/bunk, and pulled up his blanket. The painted windows only admitted a few thin scratches of daylight. CLEO extinguished the carriage lights. Jake retrieved his sword and then lay on one of the long seats still fully dressed and thinking furiously. He was the captive of aliens. He had unwittingly attacked a friendly vehicle. Or to be more accurate his alien sword had attacked a friendly vehicle. But if he stayed with these aliens he would be charged with being a fake royal and probably executed. He would be better off escaping and getting help from the authorities. He could explain everything, show the sword and get back to school wherever that was.
Everyone rlse now appeared to be asleep.
Jake got up and crept forward, apparently intending to visit the toilet.
FIDO was out of sight somewhere. He was not near his cooking cubiclez.The robot was probably preparing to repair his damaged arm.
CLEO was fully occupied playing high level chess. The computer was fending off attacks from six Grand Masters who were challenging the new mysterious chess master playing in an international Internet tourney.
Jake was now near the end of the carriage. But instead of turning right into the loo he turned left, opened the carriage door silently and dropped to the gravel below.
The sun shone on the railyard as he set off up the track, balancing on a rusty rail. Apart from his own breathing and the thud of his heart, the railway was silent. He emerged from the railyard and set off down the track. He had advanced perhaps a quarter mile, hopping from sleeper to sleeper when an Army vehicle roared into view ahead.
Jake was spotted immediately.
The vehicle screeched to a halt.
Jake waved gladly.
Rescue was at hand! He would explain everything. He had been kidnapped by aliens. Had his ears surgically replaced. Woke up in an alien Orbiting satellite! Did his Duty and supplied the Resistance with arms stolen from the aliens! an underground jail. He had already tTried to alert the authorities twice. The first time the aliens had sent a robot who put the soldiers into some kind of horrid box thing. The second time but had his whole plan had been rruined by his sword -- an alien sword. He had no idea of the alien swords power! It was a total shock! It liked killing people!
Inside the Army vehicle, four soldiers were staring through the windscreen. They goggled at Jake in total amazement. In the sunlight he looked like an extra from a period movie, specially made up. A huge mop of bleached white hair, huge ears occaisonally revealed by the wind, a medieval leather jerkin and ski pants. And huge alien ears!
H
His sword appeared seemed to be actually vibrating in its scabbard!
The soldiers slowly and carefully reached for a variety of weapons.
Sten guns, pistols, an illegal Mauser hand gun, an old .
303 rifle….
The Then the vehicle motor suddenly cut out.
This procedure was part of the Governments latest plan to save fuel.
For a moment everyone froze.
The sergeant recovered his wits first. He pressed a button to activate a long range comm unit. “Mobile to base! Alien in sight!”
Inside Jake’s scabbard, Shivver was now pulsing furiously.,almost leaping from the scabbard. The scabbard was knocking against his let.The sword seemed to scent and relish the prospect of more military opposition. At that moment, a one armed FIDO came bounding down the railway on full emergency power. The golden robot jumped clean over Jake and pointed a squat weapon at the rail vehicle. He pressed a button.
The entire vehicle glowed with a furious purple light.
“Retreat!” cried the sergeant. “Back!”
The driver put the machine into reverse as the sergeant
He pressed the send button again.
“Emergency! Under attack by alien robot! Retreating! Redeploying”
The engine fired. up. The vehicle immediately began to run rapidly backwards, towards Yarra Glen. But this did not stop the eerie glow which was now spreading over the entirewhole vehicle and its terrified crew. All the guns were distorted like plastic models in a fire, OneOne by one, the soldiers lost consciousness. The rail vehicle continued to accelerate, completely out of control. It hammered down the track.
As the vehicle vanished, Jake was picked up by FIDO and returned to the train. He was dumped onto the seat he had vacated half an hour earlier. Alaric sat crossed legged on the next seat, looking at him quizzically. as FIDO closed the carriage door quietly.
The robot returned to his own affairs, repairing his severed arm.
“Majesty!” said Alaric. “How you love to fight! Attacking the soldiers like that! I expect you intended to put them to the sword and increase your impressive personal score? The Earth forces are now in full retreat, rolling back towards Melbourne, cowed, frightened and probably now all dead after a brush with a Prince of the Master Race!!.
His face and neck again suffused with a purple colour as he jumped up and shouted:
“We rule the Universe,!
By might and cunning and stealth,
We gladly smash resistance,
And help ourselves to the wealth!”
He sat down. He recovered almost immediately and spoke in a normal voice: “However, to control your warlike impulses, I have taken the precaution of locking the carriage doors. We must both get to sleep ready for the morrow!”
“But it was FIDO!” said Jake weakly. “He attacked them!”
“But you were there!” said Alaric. “The Prince Royal! Of course the robot would attack! He is programmed to assist! But the sortie will still count for you! as FIDO is your robot!~ Now I bid you, Good day, Sire…”