Finally, after a few awkward minutes, Connor sat down beside her. “How did you get out? Emory had at least five men with him. More may have arrived after I left.”
“A window. Joseph passed out almost immediately when he arrived. I left him sleeping in the room. I just wanted to be out of there, away from him, from that place. Because, here, I can pretend like it isn’t happening, that I didn’t make the mistake of marrying a monster. I can pretend to be living a different life…” Tears again, but they weren’t accompanied by the sobs of a distraught person. Those tears had disappeared months ago and were replaced with ones filled with frustration and anger.
Placing his arm around her shoulder, Connor used his other hand to pull her chin around so that she faced him. His thumb brushed over her cheek to wipe away a tear when he said, “I wish there was a way to get you out of this. I’ve been trying to come up with something, but every action I could take would lead to more problems. If I kill him, would you be able to escape his men? If I help you escape, where would you go? I’m angry with myself for not having helped you leave when it first started, maybe then, there would have been a chance. But, over time, he’s grown stronger, pulled more people to his side. He’s erected walls around you, ones that I’m not sure even I could help you get around.”
Considering his words, Arianna didn’t immediately respond. Finally finding words adequate to convey her thoughts, she said, “Years ago, I would have imagined it impossible for my husband to become what he’s become; I would have fought tooth and nail with any person who even suggested it could be possible. But, looking back over the years, there were signs…symptoms. And I think that’s what scares me the most. His madness wasn’t always there, it was gradual, a slow decay that snuck up on me, that left me unsuspecting so that I could not act against it. So, does that make me blind or stupid?”
His hand squeezed her shoulder and she leaned into him in response. His voice soothed her, even though his words were utterly frightening in their truth. “There’s a fine line between many things; love and hate, light and dark, brilliance and madness. Much like when the sun rises, the light it gives still touches on the darkness that it destroys. And it’s in that place, the moment between sunrise and day and sunset and night, that is the scariest of all, because they are so closely linked that one cannot always be distinguished from the other. From what you’ve told me, it seems that Joseph has stood on that precipice for a long time. But I’ve noticed that people who finally succumb to the dark - to evil - it’s not a dramatic shift, it happens slowly and without warning. However, in order for it to happen, they had to have been straddling that line and therefore, the madness had been a small part of him since the beginning because he was at a place where the two halves touch. You can’t blame yourself for not seeing it. You loved him, you wanted to believe the illusion he created, but in that time, he fell too far, allowing you to finally recognize what he may have been all along.”
Chuckling, she answered, “Well, that was confusing and insightful all at the same time.” She nudged his chest with her shoulder before adding, “But I understand what you are saying.” In a softer tone, she admitted, “Although I fear what he’s already become, if you are correct in what you said, I’m even more afraid of how much farther he could fall.”
Chapter Fourteen
Three months passed. In that time, Joseph’s visits to Arianna grew more infrequent and there had been full weeks when he’d not shown up in her wing. But on the nights when he did appear, she’d learn to temper his violence by submitting without complaint or a fight, to lie numbly beneath him until he finished or passed out. He was still intent on a child, and she couldn’t fathom how, in all this time it hadn’t occurred.
Due to what appeared to be a waning obsession with her, she wondered if he’d grown tired of her, and she spent many hours thinking that, maybe, he’d have her killed, just to be done with her. The thought horrified her - not because she feared for her own life, but rather, she feared for Connor’s. She knew that if the attempt was made, or if they succeeded, he would die fighting for her.
Her friendship with Connor had grown far too close and it was becoming apparent that they both looked to each other for more than just a platonic bond. However, they never overstepped a line in their friendship, until one fateful day…
“You should be careful jumping around on those rocks like that. The water is freezing and if you slip…”
“You’re not worried about me falling in because it’ll be cold for me…you just don’t want have to jump in to save me.” Her head fell back allowing the sun to bathe her skin in its warmth.
Looking out at a beauty dressed in white, Connor chuckled. “Well, yeah, there is that. But seriously, please come back over to the shore.” He looked up at the sky. The sun shown brilliantly down on the field, but its light was threatened by the blackened clouds that also hung menacingly in the air. “It looks like it could rain at any time, I’d hate for you to be caught out there if the clouds suddenly released.”
She peeked up at him, the blue of her eyes glinted beautifully within the sunlight and her golden hair cascaded around her shoulders, moving like spun silk when she turned her head. “If it’s that important to you, fine.” Jumping from one rock to another she returned to shore, finally taking a seat at his side.
“I’ve missed coming out here. I’m glad the winter has finally passed. Being stuck in that place… I don’t know what I would have done all these months if it wasn’t for my music, or you.”
Quickly glancing in her direction, he smiled. “At least it’s not as bad as it was before. He’s been preoccupied over the past several weeks. I’d be lying to say it hasn’t been a relief.”
“That’s true, but, for the life of me, I can’t understand why he keeps me. I know he still believes he loves me, and I wonder if on those nights that he does return, if maybe the man he’d been before was closer to the surface than the one he’s become. It’s like there are two people inside him, battling over control, over sovereignty of the body they inhabit.”
A raindrop touched her nose and she looked up instantly. Before they could move to react, the sky opened and rain fell so heavily, so suddenly, they could barely see five feet in front of them.
“Fuck!” Connor cursed before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the cave. Once inside, Arianna laughed delightedly, finding humor in something as simple as being caught in the rain. Wringing out her hair, she looked down at her clothes and noticed that the light, airy material had glued itself to her skin, hiding nothing of her form. She was immediately embarrassed and looked up to find the green of Connor’s eyes locked to her body, the heat of his stare absolute in its intensity.
Neither spoke, and, like magnets, they moved towards each other, hopelessly drawn together without thought or hesitation; but when their faces were inches apart, Connor leaned down and softly brushed his mouth against hers. She knew she should push him away, that she should turn away and prevent a mistake that would surely happen in this moment. But she couldn’t and when the heat of his lips pressed deliciously against her, she parted her lips to allow him deeper. His tongue swept out, filling her mouth with his scent, his taste. Her knees weakened beneath her and his hand came around to brush across her back and hold her steady while his other traveled up the side of her torso, barely brushing across the side of her breast.
Just as suddenly as they’d begun, she forced herself to pull away. Her body trembled and her mind swam with the intensity of an emotion she’d not felt for a long time.
She looked up into Connor’s face and saw that his brow furrowed and his eyes clenched tightly together. She could tell by his expression that he fought the same internal battle against his sudden desire. Bringing her hands up to the hard planes of his chest, she pushed away from him; fear coating her stomach at what would occur if she allowed what was developing between them to happen.
They stood motionless, facing each other silently while their chests hea
ved and their hearts pounded loudly within their bodies. The tension between them was suffocating and Arianna’s skin tingled in anticipation of a touch she didn’t want to crave as much as she did.
“Arianna – I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
She put her hand up to silence him. “We can’t.” Defeated, she breathed out, sadness saturating every cell of her body.
“I know.” His expression looked pain as he stared down at her. The only sound that could be heard was the pounding of rain outside of the cave and every few minutes thunder rolled along the skies just before lightening provided flash illumination to his features. Arianna’s eyes looked over his body, noticing how his wet shirt clung to every muscle that rippled along his chest and arms. She longed to reach out and remove the shirt, to run her hands along what she imagined would be smooth skin stretched taut across his body. Losing her control, losing sight of the nightmare in which she lived, she stepped towards him. She didn’t care, couldn’t fight, and eventually found herself so close to him, she had to crane her neck just to peer up into the beauty of his face.
“I’m a married woman, Connor…”
“The man you married no longer exists.” It was a plea, one she could hear desperation and longing dripping from as it was spoken.
Her eyes searched his, the words he’d just spoken ringing truthfully in her ears. He was correct, but incorrect at the same time. The Joseph she’d met and married, no longer existed, he was correct about that; however, the monster that replaced him, the one who kept a hold on her despite whether he truly loved her or not, that Joseph was more terrifying, more of a threat than the person he’d formally been.
Connor stepped away from her, his eyes traveling over her face, deep longing lighting his eyes despite the shadows that covered them in the cave where he stood. His voice was quiet, reserved, when he spoke again. “Just tell me this, Arianna, tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that if circumstances were different, if fate had been more kind in the way that it brought us together, that there could have been something…something good…”
Her heart skipped as she listened to him babble on. He appeared lost to what he was trying to say, as if speaking the words aloud made them more impossible to be true than they had when they’d been locked within his mind.
“…I never had much of anything growing up, just bad luck and people who could care less about me. It wasn’t until I started fighting that I held any value for someone. And a woman like you, one who exudes beauty in everything she does – the way you walk, your music, the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh – you were never the type I had any chance of finding. I know that if hell exists on Earth, we are trapped within it, but I’m amazed every day that somehow, within these walls that close in around us, and under the roof of a madman, you still find the ability to exude that beauty, a light that is strong enough to pierce the ever encroaching darkness, one that banishes the hollow and empty feelings of loss that come with living inside of a waking nightmare.”
Trembling, she brought her hand to his cheek. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and her mind struggled to wrap itself around what he was attempting to say. Her instincts screamed for her to resist his temptation, yet her heart and body wanted nothing more than to give in to the moment, despite what could happen as a result.
She didn’t respond, having lost the ability to speak around the lump that settled fully in her throat from the emotions she struggled desperately to swallow. Finally, after losing herself to the battle she fought with herself, she answered, “I want to thank you, for everything you’ve done or try to do for me. I know you risk yourself daily bringing me down here, helping me escape if only for a few hours a day…”
Resting a single finger against her lips, he silenced her. A smile touched his lips and dimples that gave him a look of boyish innocence peeked out beneath the stubble on his cheeks. “Don’t thank me. I’m a selfish man. When I bring you out here, it’s partly for you – but mostly, it’s just an opportunity for me to get you alone, to pretend that our lives are different, that you’d married me instead of a man not worthy of even your passing glance.”
Without another word, he bent down, wrapping his large hand around her head and pulling her into a kiss that was so full of emotion, her knees finally gave out. He caught her around her back, deepening the kiss while laying her down on the ground of the cave. She didn’t resist, didn’t put up one bit of a fight against him. Violently, her body responded to his touch, heat flaring along her skin where his fingers trailed her body. Rain fell in curtains outside the mouth of the cave, as if nature itself wanted them to have this one beautiful moment without fear of being caught. Thunder continued to vibrate across the skies, and lightening illuminated the cave, casting erotic shadows on Connor’s large form when he pushed himself up to remove the sodden shirt that covered his body. Her eyes widening, she watched the muscles of his shoulders and chest move beneath his tanned skin, highlighting the virility of the man undressing before her. Electric sparks tingling across her skin, her body warmed, readied itself for whatever he planned to do to her. It was an intoxicating feeling, an illicit affair that she’d never dreamed of before, but didn’t think she could live without from that moment forward.
His hands grasped the hem of her skirt at her hips, pulling away the material, his heated gaze traveling along her skin that was slowly revealed to him. She sat up and allowed him to remove her shirt, and when her breasts were freed, the warmth of his hands instantly grasped around their weight, a moan escaping her throat at the way his touch sent waves of pleasure rolling through her body. When his mouth found the pebbled tip of her breast, his tongue flicked out as he took it deeper into his mouth, suckling softly and igniting sparks within her core. She became lost to his movements, the feel of his hands against her skin, the heat of his tongue moving across her body. Her back arched up, her head, hips and feet, the only parts of her left touching the floor where she laid helpless to his desire – his need.
Keeping his hands firmly gripped over her breasts, his fingers pinching and pulling at the hardened peaks, his mouth traveled up her body, licking along the delicate skin of her shoulder and neck, until settling on the sensitive lobe of her ear. His breath rolled along her skin when he said, “You are so fucking beautiful, I want to take you agonizingly slow, to bathe every inch of your body in my touch, my kiss.”
She turned her head to face him, but her eyes closed when his mouth fell on hers, the force of his kiss causing her to feel drunk, yet alive. Her hands smoothed up the hard contours of his back until her fingers found and tangled themselves within the silken strands of his hair. Tugging slightly, she felt a growl that emanated from the depths of his chest, the vibration along her skin evoking a natural instinct to be dominated and overtaken by such a feral man. Breaking the kiss, his hands and mouth worked their way down her body, her head falling back as his lips traveled along her stomach. Finally, he found the band of her panties and pulled them down and along her legs, until she was freed completely of her clothes.
He pushed himself up, his hands resting gently on her thighs, spreading her legs before him and the green of his eyes blazed with a fire she’d never before seen. He took a moment staring down at her, an unreadable expression across his face, and the corners of his lips tilting up as he said, “I could sit here and look at you forever and it would never be enough.” She trembled beneath his stare, unable to respond, her ability to speak, much less think, lost to the fervor of her body, to her reaction of his scent that lay completely across her skin.
Her legs fell easily out to her sides; every inch of her exposed to the intensity of his stare. His head dropped and his lips found the inside of her thigh, licking and nipping at her skin, traveling towards the place where she desperately needed him to be. A clandestine moment shrouded in the protective blanket of rain, her heart raced, blood pumping through her veins, a rush of hormones leaving her drunk and wasted to the workings of her body. When he lips finally met t
he sensitized flesh between her thighs and when his tongue flicked out to brush across the bundle of nerves that sat atop, her entire body quaked, bucking up against him, nature taking control over her ability to think clearly or care about the consequence of what they’d started.
His fingers gripped tightly to her thighs, holding her legs so wide apart that the tendons burned from the strain. Her hips rolled from the feel of his mouth on her skin, but when one hand found its way up, when one finger pressed at the opening to her body only to slowly push its way inside, her mouth opened in a silent cry of pleasure and pain, of desire and unbridled lust.
A long forgotten energy built within her, swirling deep inside her core, threatening to tear her apart if not released. Her muscles locked over her bones and her breath caught in her lungs. One finger became two and eventually they found their way to a spot inside her that drove her over an sensual edge so steep, stars burst beneath the lids of her clenched eyes. She lost control of herself, her awareness of their surroundings, and the world to which they would return completely forgotten, drowned beneath the way he made her feel, the passion he forced through her body with stunning and soul-consuming violence.
Her back arched, pushing the peaks of her breast up into the chilled air of the cave, but slowly, she regained her senses, electric jolts still erupting sporadically through her body, the tremble in her legs growing rapidly as her body let go of the tension, the anger and the pain that had been built over the last year she’d lived at the mansion.
Opening her eyes, she peeked up to find Connor sitting in absolute awe of the woman he watched intently, the curl to his lips deepening the dimples on his cheeks until she couldn’t help but smile back up at him, small bits of laughter escaping her on her exhalation of breath.
She watched his hands move down to unbuckle his pants, every bit of him exposed as he pushed the material down, moving slowly to remove it from around his ankles and feet. His body was rock solid, hard in every place a man should be, and the tan to his skin spread even to those places the sun would not have touched. He was perfection, an Adonis looming over her, the physique of a warrior made even more beautiful when the light kiss of lightening reflected off his skin. He exuded carnal power, raw and unrestrained and Arianna’s breath caught at the sight of him.