The only sound she could hear was the water moving below her and the birdsong from the woods at her back. Looking out, she was awestruck by the colorful wildflowers that dotted the fields stretched out on the other side of the creek. It was beautiful, it was inspiring and it helped breath life back into her body.
Turning quickly, her eyes met with Connor’s and her smile beamed out at him. “This place … it’s amazing, Connor. I had no idea it even existed on the property.” She turned to look back out over the creek and field and was surprised when she felt the warmth of Connor’s hand grasp hers. Looking up at him, she felt awkward, but she didn’t pull away, curious as to why he’d made the effort to touch her.
“There’s a natural cave nearby that I found, would you like to see it?” He smiled with a boyish charm and Arianna was shocked to discover a tender side to a man who killed without mercy. Nodding ‘yes’ to his offer, she allowed him to lead her around the creek and to a rock formation that jutted out from the wooded area nearby. As they walked, her eyes traveled over the landscape, marveling at how the scene looked as if it had been painted or a distant dream.
“Like I said, I spent a lot of time mapping out the property in order to decide how it would be best protected. There are several rock formations like this one, however this is the only cave I was able to find. I was concerned it could be a place for someone to hide, but it’s at a good enough distance that I didn’t worry about it. I’m not upset I took the time to find it though, I come here every once in a while when I need time to myself.”
“You’re with me all day, when have you had time to come out?” Her voice was strong for once, the nightmare that had become her life momentarily forgotten in response to her surroundings.
“At night when I’m excused from guarding you.”
She knew he didn’t intend to remind her, but his words brought that nightmare crashing right back in like a landslide. Her body trembled and her knees weakened at the reminder. Connor noticed her discomfort and wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her. She stopped short, the contact startling her even more than she’d already been.
Pulling his arm away, he apologized quickly. “I’m so sorry. I thought you looked like you could use a hand for support, I didn’t intend…”
Arianna looked up at him, her eyes sparkling in the sun, two blue orbs swirling with multiple hues. “No please, it’s fine. I just thought about having to go back and it upset me.”
They walked into the interior of the cave and Arianna looked around at the glittering walls. “So, you come out here at night? Do you ever sleep?”
He smiled, the dimple on one cheek made more apparent by his expression. “Very little actually. I’ve even slept out here a night or two.”
She chuckled half-heartedly. “I wish I could sleep out here. It has to be better than my room, more peaceful at least.”
When his face fell, she changed the subject. “Do you live in the mansion?”
“I have a room in the west wing that Joseph gave me after I’d worked for him for a couple of months. He wanted more security on site twenty-four hours a day, so he arranged for a group of men to live in the mansion.”
Sitting down on a rock, she looked up at him. “How many men live here?”
“On average, about thirty men live here, however, over the past few weeks that number has doubled. I guess Joseph feels more comfortable with the increased activity since you found out about the network.”
Her curiosity got the better of her and since Connor was apparently talkative, she took advantage of his openness. “I’m surprised he was able to hide it from me. It seems strange that thirty men could come and go without my notice.”
Nodding, Connor sat down next to her. “It’s a large building and he kept the activity restricted to the west wing. Most people would not have noticed.”
Leaning back, she could feel the heat of his body on her side. She welcomed the contact, however, happy to just be relaxing and having a normal conversation with someone other than herself. “What goes on over there? He always smells like alcohol and smoke when he returns for the evenings, he always appears manic and disheveled. Are there drugs? I assume he must have a hand in that if he’s keeping company with criminals.”
Seemingly hesitant to answer, Connor breathed out heavily. “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this, Mrs. Carmichael. If Joseph found out…”
“Arianna. Please, just use my first name. Calling me by his surname feels like a punch to the stomach these days.”
He looked over to her, sympathy evident in the clear green of his eyes. “If it’s just us, I’ll call you whatever you wish, however, in his presence or the presence of his men, I have to call you by a name that is proper. His obsession with you is upsetting. I understand a man loving his wife, but…”
Placing a hand on his, she silenced his thought. “I know – trust me, I know. But there’s nothing that can be done about it. That is, unless you want to turn your head so that I can leave.” Wriggling her brows at him, she caused him to smile brighter.
“It would cost me my life to do so.”
A gasp escaped her before she could contain it. Even though she’d seen what her husband was capable of, it still surprised her to hear it. “No. Then that won’t work. Maybe I’ll just wait for him to pass out one night and sneak away when you’re off duty.”
“Please don’t.”
His response was so immediate it worried her. “Why not?”
He chewed at his bottom lip for a moment before answering. “When he visits you at night, he excuses me from the suite, but his personal guard, Emory, is always there with him. I’d hate for you to run into his guard, there is something off about him – something I don’t trust.” He quieted for a second, appearing to decide how he would say what he wanted to tell her. “I know your husband hurts you, I’ve seen the bruises and other marks, but he still loves you. If Emory were to get his hands on you, you wouldn’t live to see the next morning.”
Taking a moment to think about what he’d just divulged, Arianna looked out towards the mouth of the cave before speaking again. “Why is everyone so afraid of Joseph? He is one man, I don’t understand how he came to be the most powerful, especially in a group of men who seem to lack any sense of morality.”
“Your husband is a very intelligent man. He keeps the network working together instead of against each other. Each man has become wealthier as a result. In a group such as that, money speaks. Joseph has also found a way to keep the authorities from investigating their crimes. That alone is enough for each man to defend the organization and to protect Joseph if it came to it. Fighting him would mean fighting hundreds of men. It’s not worth the risk.”
Her head swam with the information Connor gave her. She’d known that Joseph’s business was large, but she’d never imagined the true extent of his reach. “The authorities?” A humorless laugh escaped her. “So even if I were to escape…”
“You’d be found and returned to your husband.”
A golden curtain of hair tumbled forward as she brought her face to her hands. Finally lifting her face, she stood up and walked out into the sunlight. She allowed the heat to dry the tears that fell along her cheeks and could feel Connor when he walked up behind her. He stood so close, his body heat rolled over her back. After a few moments, she asked, “How did you end up a killer?”
At first she thought he wouldn’t answer, but then she heard a resigned sigh just before he said, “I was abandoned when I was young and I grew up on the streets. It was a bad area – kill or be killed. I’m good at what I do and when I was found by a group of men, they employed and educated me.”
Turning to him, her eyes met with the broad expanse of his chest. Musk and a touch of spice, his scent enveloped her before she could step back to look up into his face. “Do you agree with what my husband is doing to me? Is it something you’re okay with?”
“No.” Hard, assured, and instantaneous, his response surprised her.
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“Then why do you work for him?”
His lips twitched and he appeared uncomfortable with how he should answer. “I accepted the job before I knew what Joseph would become. When I started here, he wasn’t doing the things he does now. I blame Emory’s influence for that. I stay now because I don’t have any choice but to stay.”
“Why don’t you have a choice?”
“Because I won’t leave you here alone.”
Taking a few steps back, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand what he was saying. “You still have a choice.”
His eyes left hers and he looked out over the water behind her. She continued staring into the endless green, patiently waiting for his response.
His eyes finally meeting hers once more, he said, “I won’t leave you here to die and taking you from here would only end in death for us both. In time, that might change, and I’ll stick around just in case the opportunity presents itself; but for now, we have to stay.” He paused for a moment, his eyes moving back to glance at the water. Softly, he added, “I’m sorry, Arianna, but there is no choice.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Tell me you love me, Arianna. Remind me how you can’t live without me!” The hard slap of knuckles against her cheek and she fell against a wall in the corner of the room.
Crouched down in her corner, she attempted to avoid Joseph’s hand when he reached out for her again. It was futile to fight and she knew that; but even though her mind told her to endure, her instincts told her to fight. His fingers tangled into her hair and the cold stone tile rubbed against her skin when he dragged her across the floor. When they reached the bed, he used his other hand to grasp the shackles he’d attached to the bed months ago.
But, it wasn’t every night.
Over the time that he’d practiced his abusive ritual against her, there were nights when he didn’t show and she was left in a restless sleep, never knowing if she would hear the click of the lock or the creak of the door as he entered.
She was tired. Bags hung heavily beneath her eyes and she’d lost weight from lack of eating. It took more and more makeup each time Joseph held a party at their home; each time demanding she present herself as nothing more than his loving wife. The party attendees had changed over time. What had once been mutual friends soon became the men of his network and the women they brought with them. Arianna spent most of those nights blending into shadow, not interested in conversing with the evil Joseph kept for company.
The soft click of metal and Arianna felt the pinch of a shackle as it closed around her ankle. Falling heavily on the mattress, she pulled her arms under her and braced herself for what she knew was to come.
. . .
The cold water rushed across her bare feet; a stream of ice that helped soothe the broken skin at her ankles and contrasted sharply against the heat of the sun that warmed her head and back.
“Your ankles look really bad today. I’m not sure I can stay quiet about this much longer.” Connor sat on the grass near the stream’s edge, mindlessly grabbing pebbles and tossing them into the water.
She looked over at him, a sympathetic smile gracing her features. “You’d only be killed for saying anything. It’s been months and he appears to be getting worse. But at least his visits have become less frequent. And when he does show up, sometimes he loses the ability to, well…to finish. He’s passed out a couple of times.” A sad laugh escaping her, she added, “I’ve thought about bashing his fucking head in when that happens, but then I remember Emory is in the living room, and I’d rather not be left to whatever he would do if I killed Joseph.”
“Maybe I should just kill Emory.” Bitterness dripped from Connor’s words.
“So that Joseph can replace him with another? I’ve heard several voices in the living room lately. I think he’s added to his personal security. Maybe he’s pissed off someone as crazy as him and they’ll take care of the problem.”
Connor looked out over the water. “I could kill him, it would end things for you.”
Arianna flicked her toes over a small rock in the water. “You’d die.”
An arrogant grin spread over his face. “They’d have to catch me first.”
Turning towards him, she tried to smile, but it was a sad attempt at best. “It’s not worth the risk. How many men does he have living over there now?”
“Hundreds.”
She nodded. “Like I said, it’s not worth the risk. Maybe he’ll grow tired of me; put me out of my misery.”
“I wouldn’t waste much hope on that - he’s too focused on getting you pregnant. I don’t understand it. Why would he want a child?”
Turning her gaze back to the babbling creek, she sighed. “He’s wanted one since we got married. He still believes he loves me; he tells me so when he does the things he does. I wonder sometimes if he believes a child would make me love him again. He’s a sick man…it’s such a shame because he was brilliant when we were first married.” Laughing, she added, “Although, he never did have a lick of common sense.”
Connor chuckled at her comment. “That’s usually the way it works.” He grew thoughtful for a moment. “It’s getting worse in his wing. Drugs, parties, whores…”
Arianna closed her eyes. She’d suspected the things Connor was telling her, but hearing it confirmed only made it worse. Stepping carefully over the wet stones, she made her way over to where Connor sat. Sitting beside him, she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs before leaning into his side. They’d become friends over the months and she’d grown to trust in him as a friend and confidant. She knew he was being driven crazy in his knowledge of what happened to her some nights, but she’d never permit him to do anything about it. She cared too much about him to let him waste his life in an attack against Joseph.
His arm went around her, pulling her closer against his strong chest. They sat quietly, their eyes looking over the stream and field they walked to almost every day. It was a respite from the prison, a hidden dream within the nightmare.
“At least we have this place, huh? Somewhere we can escape, if only for a few hours.” Her voice was wistful and soft.
Laying his head against hers, Connor hugged her closer. She felt so small next to him, so soft in comparison to the strength of his chest, his shoulders and his arms. Lost in his scent and the feel of him, she startled when he spoke again.
“I’ll steal you from him someday.”
She felt him kiss her softly on the top of her head, his hand moving to smooth down her back. She knew she should stop him, pull away and put distance between them, but she yearned for a tender touch after so many months of abuse.
“I know you’ll take me away from here when you can. Hopefully, I won’t be completely broken when that occurs.”
. . .
She looked over his body, as it lay motionless on her mattress. The sheets that were twisted around his legs and his back moved slowly up and down while he slept. It had been a year and a half, his visits had become less frequent, but every now and then she was met with the monster he’d become. Until tonight, it had been several months since she’d seen him, and she was taken by surprise when he’d entered the room staggering over his own feet before laying down next to her and falling asleep. She’d woken when he entered, but pretended that she hadn’t. She was surprised he’d passed out beside her, the typical pungent odor of alcohol permeating his hair, skin and clothes. She could hear Emory and a group of men in the living room, laughing and carrying on. And her bedroom was the last place she wanted to be.
Slipping into her closet, she dressed herself in head to toe black. It was a new moon that night and there were very few lights left on around the mansion. Quietly, she unlatched the window, opening it slowly before crawling outside. She prayed Joseph wouldn’t wake up while she was gone, but she had grown braver in the months since he’d started his abuse. Once she was fully outside, she looked back in and was gratified to hear him still breathing deeply on t
he bed.
Looking out over the shadowed yard, she crept low to the ground until she’d reached the cover of the woods. Moving quickly, she stumbled a few times over top roots, but she knew the path so well, that she was able to find her way to the stream where she spent her days. Her breath came easily once she heard the soft gurgle of rushing water and she moved to sit down on the rocks that lined the edge of the creek. Tears falling from her eyes, she feared Joseph would wake while she was gone, but she couldn’t bring herself to go back to the room where she knew he lay sleeping. When her eyes finally dried, she wiped away the remnants from her cheeks and turned her face up into the infinite, star-filled sky. Silently, she prayed that something would change; that maybe, she could awaken from whatever twisted reality her life had become and discover that it all had been a dream.
The slight crunch of pebbles under a boot caused her to jump. “What are you doing out here, Arianna? If you’re caught…”
“I don’t care.” Her words were unintentionally spiteful and curt. “I don’t care about anything anymore, Connor. What’s the worst he can do? Beat me?” She paused, a humorless chortle escaping her before she added, “He does that already. In fact, in the last few months, it seems like that’s all he does.”
Connor didn’t move to approach her and his presence at her back felt familiar, like when he’d first been assigned to her guard. “Shit.” His murmured swear surprised her, she’d never heard or seen him behave with anything but absolute control over his emotions and actions. “At least, come in the cave with me.”
“Why? If they notice I’m gone, that’s all it will take for him to punish me. It won’t matter where I’m found.”