focus on the book in front of me. But my eyes filled with tears, the words turned to a blur and the teacher’s voice became a droning background monotone.
Screaming inside, I gritted my teeth and checked the clock on the wall at what seemed like thirty second intervals, willing the hands to move so that the class would end and I could make my escape.
“Breathe, Julia! Just breathe!” The words flashed through my mind and I gulped down the oxygen I’d been depriving myself of, until finally, the bell went and everyone was allowed to file out for morning recess.
I could not get out the door and down the corridor quickly enough. Bursting into the fresh air, I made my way across the square of grass at the front of the school and found a spot under a tall, leafy tree where I’d be hidden from view. I knew that I’d arranged to meet my friends but I just couldn’t bear to face anyone right then. I just needed to be alone.
It all made sense now. Blake’s odd reaction to my phone call the other day was no longer a mystery.
“What’s his problem?” I’d thought to myself after talking to him. “Even if he does have a girlfriend, surely he would still be happy to see me!”
At the time, I could not figure it out, but now it had become perfectly clear. Blake was completely aware of the trouble I’d experienced with Sara for so long. The bullying and mean, taunting behavior had gone on and on and on. Until eventually, I stood up to her and she decided to leave me alone. But she’d always been in love with Blake. I knew that beyond any doubt. She could have had any guy in the school, but the only one she really wanted was Blake.
Now, finally, he was hers. Well she could have him, I decided! If that was the type of person he wanted to be with then they deserved each other! With a huge sigh, I stood up and made my way back to the classrooms. The bell had gone and I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself by being late for my next class.
With my head down and avoiding eye contact with anyone, I went to my locker to retrieve my Math book. I could feel the eyes of onlookers as I walked past and I overheard one girl who was wearing a tight fitting, low cut top that I thought was totally inappropriate for school, say to her friend, “That’s the new girl! Apparently she used to go out with Blake Jansen.”
“No way!” replied her friend, looking me up and down, obviously being critical of the blue jeans and faded t-shirt that I was wearing.
“Is it so surprising that Blake actually went out with me?” I thought, giving her a hard look and continuing on down the corridor. But all the while, I could hear the sound of their laughter, ringing in my ears.
The remainder of the day was uneventful for which I was extremely grateful. I just couldn’t have dealt with any more surprises. Although I had double classes for every subject, which was not a pleasant way to start the semester, I was really pleased to find that neither Blake nor Sara were in any of them. During lunch break I was able to catch up with my friends and apologize for not meeting up with them earlier. Having some friendly faces to hang out with …was the biggest relief of all. Otherwise, I was sure I’d be spending lunch break sitting all on my own.
At the sound of the final bell later in the afternoon, I made my way to the bus stop and just managed to hop on the bus before it pulled out from the kerb. That would have been all I needed, to miss the bus and have to walk home. When I climbed aboard and reached the top of the steps, I looked down the aisle to see that every seat was taken. Except for one at the very front next to a nerdy looking boy covered in pimples. Rolling my eyes skyward, I sat down next to him and stared out the window lost in thought.
Visions of my school in the country and all my friends there, flashed through my mind. I could easily picture them, laughing and joking with each other, and making plans to hang out over the coming weekend. In my head, I could see all their faces, beaming with the joy of just being together. That vision should have included me. I should have been a part of it, not stuck here in misery! It just wasn’t fair!
Then I thought of our farm and my beloved pony, Bella. I wondered what she was doing right then. Was she happy? And were her new owners looking after her? I had given them a list of her favorite treats and the brands of horse feed that she preferred. I missed her so much and I wondered if she missed me.
My eyes began to well with tears and I was grateful that the bus had reached my stop so that I could get off before anyone noticed I was crying. I stood sadly on the footpath waiting for the bus to pass by so I could cross over the road. Then, quite unexpectedly, I caught the eye of a boy seated next to the window towards the back. He had been lost in thought himself, when he abruptly realized I was standing there. Then his head whipped towards me in recognition.
I don’t know who was more surprised that we had been on the same bus, Blake or me. But all I could do was stare heart-broken back at him as the bus pulled away and disappeared down the street.
Something is not right…
As I walked through the open front door of our house, I was hit with the sound of a strange voice coming from the top floor. This was followed by uncharacteristic fits of laughter from my mother. I definitely wanted to avoid having to talk to Mom and some stranger, so I attempted to sneak quietly up the stairs to the solitude and safety of my bedroom. But as I got to the top stair, I found it was actually my room that the voices were coming from.
Staring at the scene in front of me, I looked from my mom to the stranger. He was hammering away at my window frame while she sat comfortably on my bed deep in conversation, all the while laughing easily at some joke that they had obviously been sharing.
I immediately noticed something different about my mom. The relaxed and cheerful expression on her face was almost foreign to me; it had been so long since I had seen her looking that way. Reluctant to announce my presence, I hesitated, unsure of whether I should interrupt. But at the same time I was overcome with a seething annoyance at the invasion of my privacy. This was my room and how dare they invade my space! I just wanted to yell, “Get Out!!”
But forcing the words to remain unspoken, I stood there transfixed at the scene in front of me.
It was the man who noticed me first and for some reason, I took an instant dislike to him. This was not a common occurrence as I was usually able to get along with most people and had decided long ago, never to judge a book by its cover. In this instance though, I wasn’t sure whether to call it intuition or gut instinct. Perhaps they’re the same thing, but whatever it was, I felt uneasy.
Looking up in surprise at my sudden appearance in the doorway, Mom, who was smiling happily and as if absolutely nothing at all was amiss, said with a grin, “Julia! Come and meet Barry! He’s been here for the last couple of hours doing all the odd jobs around the place that desperately needed to be done. And you’ll be so happy to know that your window has finally been repaired. You’ll no longer have to prop it up with a book to keep it open!”
Looking at me expectantly, I could see her own smile fade somewhat when she realized the expression on my face did not display the gratification she had been anticipating.
Frowning, she opened her mouth to speak once more, but in order to avoid a confrontation, I quickly mumbled an insincere thanks, then turned around and headed back down the stairs to the kitchen.
I could clearly hear her words behind me. “I’m so sorry, Barry! She’s normally not so rude. I think she’s still coming to terms with having to move.”
And it was his reply that irked me the most, “Oh, teenagers, Marian! I know how much trouble they can be!”
Incredulously, I shook my head. How dare they talk about me behind my back, and as I heard them laughing at my expense, I could feel my anger bubbling to the surface.
My father had left just that morning and would be away for the entire week. It appeared that his new job required him to travel regularly but right then, I wished that he was at home.
Seeing my mother sitting up there, completely comfortable and on a first name basis with some stranger who she had only just met,
didn’t seem right, and after slamming closed the fridge door in disgust at the sight of nothing to eat, I slumped down on the living room sofa.
Miserable! That was the only word I could find to describe how I felt. And I thought once more of the friends I had left behind in the country, the place I had come to call home. I knew I should give my best friend, Cassie, a call. We had promised to phone each other regularly, but my last conversation with her had left me sadder than ever.
She’d been so excited to go back to school. She was in love with a really cute boy in our grade and had been desperate to see him again. I’d pretended to join in her enthusiasm and had insisted that she keep me informed of any updates. But that really was the last thing I wanted to hear about. Being aware of how happy everyone else was just seemed to add to my misery.
Punching my fist into the cushion I’d been gripping tightly in my lap, I hurled it angrily at the coffee table in front of me then watched as it knocked one of my mother’s favorite ornaments onto the floor, only to break in two.
“That’s all I need,” I thought to myself, sighing with self-pity, as I stood to pick up the remnants and tried to piece them together.
“I know! I’ll ask dad to glue it.” My dad was the master repair person when it came to gluing broken