18.
Why Merlin Talked in Twilight
It was two days later that Jurgen was sent for by Merlin Ambrosius.The Duke of Logreus came to the magician in twilight, for thewindows of this room were covered with sheets which shut out thefull radiance of day. Everything in the room was thus visible in adiffused and tempered light that cast no shadows. In his hand Merlinheld a small mirror, about three inches square, from which he raisedhis dark eyes puzzlingly.
"I have been talking to my fellow ambassador, Dame Anaitis: and Ihave been wondering, Messire de Logreus, if you have ever rearedwhite pigeons."
Jurgen looked at the little mirror. "There was a woman of the Leshywho not long ago showed me an employment to which one might put theblood of white pigeons. She too used such a mirror. I saw whatfollowed, but I must tell you candidly that I understood nothing ofthe ins and outs of the affair."
Merlin nodded. "I suspected something of the sort. So I elected totalk with you in a room wherein, as you perceive, there are noshadows."
"Now, upon my word," says Jurgen, "but here at last is somebody whocan see my attendant! Why is it, pray, that no one else can do so?"
"It was my own shadow which drew my notice to your follower. For I,too, have had a shadow given me. It was the gift of my father, ofwhom you have probably heard."
It was Jurgen's turn to nod. Everybody knew who had begotten MerlinAmbrosius, and sensible persons preferred not to talk of the matter.Then Merlin went on to speak of the traffic between Merlin andMerlin's shadow.
"Thus and thus," says Merlin, "I humor my shadow. And thus and thusmy shadow serves me. There is give-and-take, such as is requisiteeverywhere."
"I understand," says Jurgen: "but has no other person ever perceivedthis shadow of yours?"
"Once only, when for a while my shadow deserted me," Merlin replied."It was on a Sunday my shadow left me, so that I walked unattendedin naked sunlight: for my shadow was embracing the church-steeple,where church-goers knelt beneath him. The church-goers wereobscurely troubled without suspecting why, for they looked only ateach other. The priest and I alone saw him quite clearly,--thepriest because this thing was evil, and I because this thing wasmine."
"Well, now I wonder what did the priest say to your bold shadow?"
"'But you must go away!'--and the priest spoke without any fear. Whyis it they seem always without fear, those dull and calm-eyedpriests? 'Such conduct is unseemly. For this is High God's house,and far-off peoples are admonished by its steadfast spire, pointingalways heavenward, that the place is holy,' said the priest. And myshadow answered, 'But I only know that steeples are of phallicorigin.' And my shadow wept, wept ludicrously, clinging to thesteeple where church-goers knelt beneath him."
"Now, and indeed that must have been disconcerting, Messire Merlin.Still, as you got your shadow back again, there was no great harmdone. But why is it that such attendants follow some men while othermen are permitted to live in decent solitude? It does not seem quitefair."
"Perhaps I could explain it to you, friend, but certainly I shall not.You know too much as it is. For you appear in that bright garment ofyours to have come from a land and a time which even I, who am a skilledmagician, can only cloudily foresee, and cannot understand at all. Whatpuzzles me, however"--and Merlin's fore-finger shot out. "How many feethad the first wearer of your shirt? and were you ever an old man?" sayshe.
"Well, four, and I was getting on," says Jurgen.
"And I did not guess! But certainly that is it,--an old poet loanedat once a young man's body and the Centaur's shirt. Aderes hasloosed a new jest into the world, for her own reasons--"
"But you have things backwards. It was Sereda whom I cajoled sonicely."
"Names that are given by men amount to very little in a case likethis. The shadow which follows you I recognize--and revere--as thegift of Aderes, a dreadful Mother of small Gods. No doubt she has ahost of other names. And you cajoled her, you consider! I would notwillingly walk in the shirt of any person who considers that. Butshe will enlighten you, my friend, at her appointed time."
"Well, so that she deals justly--" Jurgen said, and shrugged.
Now Merlin put aside the mirror. "Meanwhile it was another matterentirely that Dame Anaitis and I discussed, and about which I wishedto be speaking with you. Gogyrvan is sending to King Arthur, alongwith Gogyrvan's daughter, that Round Table which Uther Pendragongave Gogyrvan, and a hundred knights to fill the sieges of thistable. Gogyrvan, who, with due respect, possesses a deplorable senseof humor, has numbered you among these knights. Now it is rumoredthe Princess is given to conversing a great deal with you inprivate, and Arthur has never approved of garrulity. So I warn youthat for you to come with us to London would not be convenient."
"I hardly think so, either," said Jurgen, with appropriatemelancholy; "for me to pursue the affair any further would onlyresult in marring what otherwise will always be a perfect memory ofdivers very pleasant conversations."
"Old poet, you are well advised," said Merlin,--"especially now thatthe little princess whom we know is about to enter queenhood andbecome a symbol. I am sorry for her, for she will be worshipped as arevelation of Heaven's splendor, and being flesh and blood, she willnot like it. And it is to no effect I have forewarned King Arthur,for that must happen which will always happen so long as wisdom isimpotent against human stupidity. So wisdom can but make the best ofit, and be content to face the facts of a great mystery."
Thereupon, Merlin arose, and lifted the tapestry behind him, so thatJurgen could see what hitherto this tapestry had screened.
* * * * *
"You have embarrassed me horribly," said Jurgen, "and I can feelthat I am still blushing, about the ankles. Well, I was wrong: solet us say no more concerning it."
"I wished to show you," Merlin returned, "that I know what I amtalking about. However, my present purpose is to put Guenevere outof your head: for in your heart I think she never was, old poet, whogo so modestly in the Centaur's shirt. Come, tell me now! and doesthe thought of her approaching marriage really disturb you?"
"I am the unhappiest man that breathes," said Jurgen, with unction."All night I lie awake in my tumbled bed, and think of the miserableday which is past, and of what is to happen in that equallymiserable day whose dawn I watch with a sick heart. And I cry aloud,in the immortal words of Apollonius Myronides--"
"Of whom?" says Merlin.
"I allude to the author of the _Myrosis_," Jurgenexplained,--"whom so many persons rashly identify with ApolloniusHerophileius."
"Oh, yes, of course! your quotation is very apt. Why, then yourcondition is sad but not incurable. For I am about to give you thistoken, with which, if you are bold enough, you will do thus andthus."
"But indeed this is a somewhat strange token, and the arms and legs,and even the head, of this little man are remarkably alike! Well,and you tell me thus and thus. But how does it happen, MessireMerlin, that you have never used this token in the fashion yousuggest to me?"
"Because I was afraid. You forget I am only a magician, whoseconjuring raises nothing more formidable than devils. But this is abit of the Old Magic that is no longer understood, and I prefer notto meddle with it. You, to the contrary, are a poet, and the OldMagic was always favorable to poets."
"Well, I will think about it," says Jurgen, "if this will really putDame Guenevere out of my head."
"Be assured it will do that," said Merlin. "For with reason does the_Dirghagama_ declare, 'The brightness of the glowworm cannot becompared to that of a lamp.'"
"A very pleasant little work, the _Dirghagama_," said Jurgen,tolerantly--"though superficial, of course."
Then Merlin Ambrosius gave Jurgen the token, and some advice.
So that night Jurgen told Guenevere he would not go in her train toLondon. He told her candidly that Merlin was suspicious of theirintercourse.
"And therefore, in order to protect you and to protect your fame, mydearest dear," said Jurgen, "it is necessar
y that I sacrifice myselfand everything I prize in life. I shall suffer very much: but myconsolation will be that I have dealt fairly with you whom I lovewith an entire heart, and shall have preserved you through mymisery."
But Guenevere did not appear to notice how noble this was of Jurgen.Instead, she wept very softly, in a heartbroken way that Jurgenfound unbearable.
"For no man, whether emperor or peasant," says the Princess, "hasever been loved more dearly or faithfully or more wholly without anyreserve or forethought than you, my dearest, have been loved by me.All that I had I have given you. All that I had you have taken,consuming it. So now you leave me with not anything more to giveyou, not even any anger or contempt, now that you turn me adrift,for there is nothing in me anywhere save love of you, who areunworthy."
"But I die many deaths," said Jurgen, "when you speak thus to me."And in point of fact, he did feel rather uncomfortable.
"I speak the truth, though. You have had all: and so you are alittle weary, and perhaps a little afraid of what may happen if youdo not break off with me."
"Now you misjudge me, darling--"
"No, I do not misjudge you, Jurgen. Instead, for the first time Ijudge both of us. You I forgive, because I love you, but myself I donot forgive, and I cannot ever forgive, for having been aspendthrift fool."
And Jurgen found such talking uncomfortable and tedious and veryunfair to him. "For there is nothing I can do to help matters," saysJurgen. "Why, what could anybody possibly expect me to do about it?And so why not be happy while we may? It is not as though we had anytime to waste."
For this was the last night but one before the day that was set forGuenevere's departure.