The doorbell rang at six sharp, and neither Matt nor I was eager to answer it. He’d just pulled a fontina, potatoes, and tapenade pizza from the oven as I set the two place settings on the formal dining room table. Charlie was still at the station, and I’d faked illness to get out of my two hours of shadowing.
Since my rant at the bistro yesterday, I couldn’t possibly imagine facing Luke any time soon, especially alone, and especially in such close quarters.
When the bell sounded again, Matt flashed a glance at me that told me I’d either get the door, or no one would. There was no messing with him once he hit culinary mode.
I left the kitchen and stomped through the foyer, in no mood to entertain. I opened the door to find Luke on the front step, still wearing his uniform and a grin, and holding a plastic container in hand.
“Heard you were feeling under the weather,” he said. “Brought you some soup.”
I drew my eyebrows together. “What’s your angle?”
“Angle?”
“Why are you here?” I watched him closely. “What do you want?”
He lifted the container a little higher. “To make you feel better.”
The childish tease in his voice was downright adorable, but I had to remind myself that that was exactly how Luke operated. He used his endearing charm to his benefit, and I wasn’t about to let him suck me in. Not this time. He’d only come to tease me about what he’d overheard at the bistro.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” I started to shut the door. “Matt and I were just about to sit down.”
“Yo, Trigger!” Matt called behind me, nudging me aside to greet Luke. “Just pulled a pizza from the oven if you’re hungry. Come on in.”
I glared at Matt and then back to Luke, silently threatening him against accepting my cousin’s offer.
“No, I probably shouldn’t,” Luke said, eyeing me carefully. “I just dropped by to bring Julie some comfort food, but thanks.”
“I won’t take no for an answer,” Matt said. “Dad won’t be home for hours, and there’s plenty of food to go around.”
Luke looked from Matt to me, and then back to Matt. “Well, if you insist.”
I stared at them in complete shock, but neither of them had seemed to notice that my jaw was practically resting on the floor.
Matt opened the door to let his guest inside, and I turned on my heel and stomped back into the kitchen. As the two men approached the table, I had already taken the pizza cutter to Matt’s masterpiece, retrieved a slice of my own, and headed for the back staircase.
“Where are you going?” Matt asked as I stormed away. “Why’d you set the table if you weren’t planning to eat down here?”
I turned and flashed him an I’ll deal with you later glare and stomped up the kitchen staircase.
I reached my bedroom and shut the door behind me, hoping that the extra barrier would help me think a little clearer.
I needed to figure out my feelings.
I needed to understand why I clung to the possibility of gaining something more with someone who infuriated me to no end.
I sat on the corner of my bed and looked out the window of my second-story bedroom. My view wasn’t the best; it looked directly onto the vacant house next door. And it was in moments like this that I wished my window looked out on the driveway. At least I would’ve known when Luke had finally left. I didn’t want to be holed up in my room for the rest of the night.
After ten minutes of arguing with myself, one of the few things I do successfully, I decided that it was only cowardly for me to let Luke scare me out of my own kitchen. I wasn’t about to let him come into my territory, intimidate me, and then get some weird sense of satisfaction from it.
I made my way down the back staircase and stopped halfway when I heard Luke ask Matt, “How did Julie end up here, anyway? None of us down at the station even knew you guys had taken someone in.”
“Julie’s not just anyone, though,” Matt said. “She’s family.”
I smiled, knowing Matt and Charlie were always looking out for my best interest. As much as I tried to convince myself that I was imposing on their lives, I knew that my presence was more than welcomed.
“She moved in last Christmas right after Aunt Liz and Uncle Stephen died.”
“Her parents?” Luke asked.
“Yeah,” Matt said, dropping into a semi-whisper. “It just hit so close to home for Dad, I think. He prefers to carry on as though it didn’t even happen. He welcomed Julie with open arms of course, but he’s still struggling, just as much as she is, with wrapping his mind around it.”
“Around what, exactly?”
“Stephen was Dad’s younger brother and a cop over in West Bridge. It’s a quiet town: low-key, very few arrests, and mostly just a few speeding tickets here and there. But one night just before Julie and I were born, Uncle Stephen made the arrest of a lifetime. His unit had been tracking a drug ring in their neighborhood, and when it came time to make a move, the force took down the entire operation. In the end, Uncle Stephen was the arresting officer in the case against the drug lord. And when they locked him up, he promised he’d come back for Stephen.”
I sat down on the steps and held my hand over my mouth, trying to restrain a sob as the memories came flooding back. I struggled not to relive the past year all over again, but it wasn’t easy hearing Matt talk about my parents so openly.
“A few months went by, Julie was born, and the next seventeen years passed without thought of the arrest. As far as everyone was concerned, the case was behind them for good. But then it got brought up for appeal; as far as I can figure, there were dirty cops on the inside helping bring the guy’s case to court. He was released on probation, and true to his word, went straight for Stephen and Liz.”
“And killed them?”
“Shot ’em both, point blank.”
“But he spared Julie?”
“She was away visiting a friend in Charleston. I’m not sure the guy even knew she existed.”
There was a moment of silence in the room below.
“I know she’s not the easiest person to get along with,” Matt continued, keeping his voice low. “She used to be, but time has changed a lot for Julie. She’s just getting by now the only way she knows how. A lot of the act she puts forward is just that, an act. She hides behind her pain because she hasn’t figured out how to grieve. She hasn’t found an outlet. She struggles with admitting the truth.”
I buried my head further into my hands, feeling the weight of the world as it tugged at my heart. Dealing with the pain was hard enough, but to hear someone else use my pain to define my character was hard to swallow. Had I really allowed myself to become so shut off that even my best friend didn’t recognize the person I’d always thought I was?
“Listen,” Luke matched Matt’s somber tone, “please tell her to get some rest and not to call before she’s well enough to come back to the station. I don’t want her compromising her health to complete this project.”
Matt snickered, despite the gloom lingering in the air. “You know she’s only pretending she’s sick so she can avoid you, right?”
I heard a chair scoot out from under the table and assumed Luke was preparing himself to leave.
“Regardless,” he said, “I don’t want her coming back until she’s comfortable.”
“I’ll relay the message.”
The sound of the two men exchanging a manly hug came faintly from the distance.
“Take care of her,” Luke said.
The sound of footsteps grew closer to the bottom of the stairs, so I pulled myself up and bolted to the second floor as quickly as possible, hiding behind the first wall.
“Good night, Julie,” Luke called up. “Hope to hear from you soon.”
As the sound of his steps echoed through the house followed by Matt’s, I slid down the wall and buried my face in my arms once again.
“Good night,” I whispered back, wishing I’d spoken up while he was still at arm??
?s length.
Because something in my heart told me that he would’ve stayed. He would’ve comforted me. He would’ve made the pain go away.
SEVEN